Running away from yourself?

Matthew Castillo5 said:I actually have pretty positive experiences with most of my "online friends." There are several I’ve never met face-to-face—folks from North Mexico, Mexico, and Germany—who were actually there for me when none of my "real-life" friends or even my own family realized I was struggling and needed help.

I’ve been there too, honestly. There really are wonderful souls out there, and in those heavy moments, an email from a stranger can probably mean more than a million hugs from someone standing right next to you who hasn't a clue what you're going through. You just have to give people a chance, I suppose—though obviously, not everyone deserves one, but that’s just how the world works...

Hannah Morris4 said:I’ve been there too, honestly. There really are wonderful souls out there, and in those heavy moments, an email from a stranger can probably mean more than a million hugs from someone standing right next to you who hasn't a clue what you're going through. You just have to give people a chance, I suppose—though obviously, not everyone deserves one, but that’s just how the world works...

Hello, everyone!
Let’s lighten the mood for a moment.
I have a little joke for you.

The police brought three women in for questioning. They ask the first:
"Are you a prostitute?"
"No, I'm a model."
They ask the second:
"Are you a prostitute?"
"No, I'm a model."
They ask the third:
"And you? Are you also a model?"
"No, I'm a prostitute."
"So, is business good?"
"It would be, if it weren't for all these models..."
Now, I find myself pondering what career path I should take. Which one is more lucrative?
Ladies, please, I could use some advice. Hmm, perhaps a modeling career is the way to go after all.😂

I don't know, maybe I can just put it this way: we’re all just different people living in different cities, leading completely different lives... Personally, I don't have anyone in the real world. About 90% of my existence happens online, and honestly, I'm exhausted by it. If I could change one thing, I'd actually want to see and hear the people I talk to (and no, I don't mean over Zoom). My only connection is my family, but I can't stand them because they've proven to me a million times over—through both their words and their actions—that they simply don't care about me, and that's never going to change. I've started calling them my "internet friends," because I don't really know how else to describe them. That's all they've ever been to me, since I've never actually seen or heard any of them in person.

Harold Gray97 said:Hello, everyone!
Let’s lighten the mood for a moment.
I have a little joke for you.

The police brought three women in for questioning. They ask the first:
"Are you a prostitute?"
"No, I'm a model."
They ask the second:
"Are you a prostitute?"
"No, I'm a model."
They ask the third:
"And you? Are you also a model?"
"No, I'm a prostitute."
"So, is business good?"
"It would be, if it weren't for all these models..."
Now, I find myself pondering what career path I should take. Which one is more lucrative?
Ladies, please, I could use some advice. Hmm, perhaps a modeling career is the way to go after all.😂

Well, look, that counts as a business too, I suppose... You can't really know until you dive in, and who knows, maybe you'll find your calling there.🤣

Jeremy Roberts5 said:I don't know, maybe I can just put it this way: we’re all just different people living in different cities, leading completely different lives... Personally, I don't have anyone in the real world. About 90% of my existence happens online, and honestly, I'm exhausted by it. If I could change one thing, I'd actually want to see and hear the people I talk to (and no, I don't mean over Zoom). My only connection is my family, but I can't stand them because they've proven to me a million times over—through both their words and their actions—that they simply don't care about me, and that's never going to change. I've started calling them my "internet friends," because I don't really know how else to describe them. That's all they've ever been to me, since I've never actually seen or heard any of them in person.

Look, it seems pretty obvious to me that you're just completely fed up with the endless typing, the instant messaging, the Zoom calls, and all these other technological gimmicks; you just want to grab a coffee with someone, go for a walk, and experience something "real." But I guess the question is, are you sure you actually want the social interaction itself, or are you just trying to convince yourself that there's an actual human being on the other end of the screen rather than just some figment of your imagination? I ask because I've been there myself; people would push to meet up in person, we'd do it, and then we'd just go back to messaging and maybe see each other once or twice a year at most. You might think that one "real" conversation in the physical world would be infinitely more helpful than some online chat, but I suppose it doesn't necessarily work out that way. Like I told you before, writing can be quite wonderful in these situations, so if you're truly done with virtual acquaintances, maybe just keep writing here.🙂

Hey man, if you're looking to get out there, I’d really suggest joining some kind of local group—maybe a volunteer fire department, a choir, a hiking club, or even a cycling crew. Just hit up free community events and local meetups whenever you can. You need to find a hobby that actually makes you happy. Just keep your eyes on the prize and be PERSISTENT—seriously, stay relentless. It pays off in the long run. Also, check out this book: *Think Big in Life and Business and Crush It*.

Jeremy Roberts5 said:I'm aware of all that (up until two months ago, I worked six months doing this thankless under-the-table job, but clearly I don't have a choice and have to take whatever 🙄 ) I always have to set something aside; I spend my whole life sacrificing things, but for what? I only have until I'm 30, and if I don't start a family then—meaning a wife and kids later on—it's likely I won't have one at all, and I'll spend my entire life alone (because I definitely don't want to be anywhere near "my family," meaning my parents and brother)

Oh, please—what did you expect, to start out as the CEO of SpaceX??
There are plenty of people who pulled themselves through college by working soul-crushing, entry-level jobs way below their actual intelligence or skill level, and eventually worked their way up to a decent position...
Given the "wonderful" circumstances you're trying to claw your way out of, there are really only two things that can help you: money or connections (though let's be honest, connections usually just boil down to money anyway)...

Jeremy Roberts5 said:I'm aware of all that (up until two months ago, I worked six months doing this thankless under-the-table job, but clearly I don't have a choice and have to take whatever 🙄 ) I always have to set something aside; I spend my whole life sacrificing things, but for what? I only have until I'm 30, and if I don't start a family then—meaning a wife and kids later on—it's likely I won't have one at all, and I'll spend my entire life alone (because I definitely don't want to be anywhere near "my family," meaning my parents and brother)

Why on earth do you only have until thirty? You're a man; you can have kids well into your sixties if you want to.
Instead of whining about it when you should be hunting down any job possible—considering you only have a high school diploma, which I highly doubt qualifies you for anything prestigious—just look at the reality. You're young, and you're expected to grind for at least another 40 years before retirement...
Forty years is a long time... and if you actually want to move up (or find a job that pays better than the scraps you're looking at now), you need more education and capital. Instead of focusing on that, you're sitting here complaining. Instead of working and saving for a goal (even if you don't have one right now—you'll figure one out eventually), I'd bet my life that the core reason you're lonely is that you don't have a crew to grab a beer with on the weekends, which is basically the social standard for most teenagers...
You have no idea how much of an advantage you actually have. If I could go back to my early twenties, I would have saved every single penny like a miser and I certainly wouldn't have thought about getting married before thirty-five... let alone building these massive mental walls...

ruggedheron10 said:Hey man, if you're looking to get out there, I’d really suggest joining some kind of local group—maybe a volunteer fire department, a choir, a hiking club, or even a cycling crew. Just hit up free community events and local meetups whenever you can. You need to find a hobby that actually makes you happy. Just keep your eyes on the prize and be PERSISTENT—seriously, stay relentless. It pays off in the long run. Also, check out this book: *Think Big in Life and Business and Crush It*.

This is also pretty interesting and requires almost zero cost.

crimsoncanyon2 said:Oh, please—what did you expect, to start out as the CEO of SpaceX??
There are plenty of people who pulled themselves through college by working soul-crushing, entry-level jobs way below their actual intelligence or skill level, and eventually worked their way up to a decent position...
Given the "wonderful" circumstances you're trying to claw your way out of, there are really only two things that can help you: money or connections (though let's be honest, connections usually just boil down to money anyway)...

Why on earth do you only have until thirty? You're a man; you can have kids well into your sixties if you want to.
Instead of whining about it when you should be hunting down any job possible—considering you only have a high school diploma, which I highly doubt qualifies you for anything prestigious—just look at the reality. You're young, and you're expected to grind for at least another 40 years before retirement...
Forty years is a long time... and if you actually want to move up (or find a job that pays better than the scraps you're looking at now), you need more education and capital. Instead of focusing on that, you're sitting here complaining. Instead of working and saving for a goal (even if you don't have one right now—you'll figure one out eventually), I'd bet my life that the core reason you're lonely is that you don't have a crew to grab a beer with on the weekends, which is basically the social standard for most teenagers...
You have no idea how much of an advantage you actually have. If I could go back to my early twenties, I would have saved every single penny like a miser and I certainly wouldn't have thought about getting married before thirty-five... let alone building these massive mental walls...

This is also pretty interesting and requires almost zero cost.

I never said I wanted to start out as some big director or anything; that’s not even on my radar. I just want a steady job with a regular paycheck... As for the education side of things, there isn't much I can do because I already missed that window. Even if I did another year to finish some program, I still wouldn't have the formal degree or the "paperwork" to show for it, so what's the point? It's like being a doctor without the credentials; nobody cares if you have the skills if you don't have the certificate. I looked into those vocational training programs at the local unemployment office, but people who finished them told me they didn't help either—they're still unemployed. So, it feels like a dead end. And regarding starting a family, I think you're wrong for several reasons. Just because you *can* have kids at 60 doesn't mean it's smart. I have to consider if I'll even live long enough to see them grow up, or if a partner could even handle a pregnancy at that age (since I won't be finding someone twenty years younger). Plus, by forty, I should probably have had my first girlfriend by then 😢 ... and I'm not sure being socially isolated is an advantage; for a lot of jobs, you actually need to be a people person, and I'm definitely not that type...

And just to be clear, I’m not lacking a social circle for weekend partying, nor am I really into getting drunk—honestly, I probably only drink maybe three or four times a year total. I think it's pretty silly for society to generalize everyone like that; I refuse to believe that every social group out there works that way. What I actually want is a girlfriend I can head out to a club or a dance floor with every now and then, and friends I can grab coffee, catch a movie, or grab some pizza with...

Look, you’ve got zero backbone. You aren't persistent, and you tend to brush off good advice before you've even given it a fair shake—you can't know if something works until you actually try it. If the local community college offers you free training, go grab it. Seriously. And meeting people? Go grab a coffee with them; you might actually get to know someone better and stumble into a career path that usually costs a fortune. Personally, I'm leaning toward a sales manager role—I actually shelled out for an intensive management seminar at a firm like McKinsey $5000 just to see if it was worth the investment. Set some actual goals for your life and start checking them off. They don't have to be world-changing; just break them down into short-term (a month or so), long-term (one to five years), and maybe some weekly micro-tasks. Just be persistent and try to keep a positive mindset for once.

Jeremy Roberts5 said:I never said I wanted to start out as some big director or anything; that’s not even on my radar. I just want a steady job with a regular paycheck... As for the education side of things, there isn't much I can do because I already missed that window. Even if I did another year to finish some program, I still wouldn't have the formal degree or the "paperwork" to show for it, so what's the point? It's like being a doctor without the credentials; nobody cares if you have the skills if you don't have the certificate. I looked into those vocational training programs at the local unemployment office, but people who finished them told me they didn't help either—they're still unemployed. So, it feels like a dead end. And regarding starting a family, I think you're wrong for several reasons. Just because you *can* have kids at 60 doesn't mean it's smart. I have to consider if I'll even live long enough to see them grow up, or if a partner could even handle a pregnancy at that age (since I won't be finding someone twenty years younger). Plus, by forty, I should probably have had my first girlfriend by then 😢 ... and I'm not sure being socially isolated is an advantage; for a lot of jobs, you actually need to be a people person, and I'm definitely not that type...

Talk about a total lack of common sense... 🤦
Why on earth are you waiting for someone to come along, take you by the hand, and hand you a job? Brajo, pick up the phone, ask questions, reach out, show some damn initiative!!!!
A potential employer wants to see drive—not some person with zero motivation just sitting around waiting to collect a paycheck!!!
And as for those state training programs—since they're free, you've got absolutely nothing to lose... if the skill or knowledge they're offering isn't in demand today, who's to say it won't be next year, or next summer, or whenever...
Besides, any kind of training is a chance to network, and you never know who you might meet—someone might know someone who can help you get hired, give you a lead, or point you in the right direction...

Jeremy Roberts5 said:I never said I wanted to start out as some big director or anything; that’s not even on my radar. I just want a steady job with a regular paycheck... As for the education side of things, there isn't much I can do because I already missed that window. Even if I did another year to finish some program, I still wouldn't have the formal degree or the "paperwork" to show for it, so what's the point? It's like being a doctor without the credentials; nobody cares if you have the skills if you don't have the certificate. I looked into those vocational training programs at the local unemployment office, but people who finished them told me they didn't help either—they're still unemployed. So, it feels like a dead end. And regarding starting a family, I think you're wrong for several reasons. Just because you *can* have kids at 60 doesn't mean it's smart. I have to consider if I'll even live long enough to see them grow up, or if a partner could even handle a pregnancy at that age (since I won't be finding someone twenty years younger). Plus, by forty, I should probably have had my first girlfriend by then 😢 ... and I'm not sure being socially isolated is an advantage; for a lot of jobs, you actually need to be a people person, and I'm definitely not that type...

If you don't start thinking more logically, you aren't going to find a wife at all...

And honestly, being communicative is a skill you can learn.

You’re basically putting yourself in a cage, and honestly, that’s just bad—really bad.
I guess I’ve always been wired this way too, just constantly picking myself apart, thinking everyone else has it figured out while I’m falling short. But I can see where that path leads, and it's just standing still; my head is overflowing with goals and half-baked ideas, yet nothing ever actually happens. For the longest time, I was just waiting for some hero to show up, grab me by the arm, and say, "Hey, let's get moving, we'll do this together," but you know what? That person never showed. I was lucky enough to eventually realize that life doesn't work that way, so now I'm trying to fix it. Of course, for people like us, it’s a hell of a lot harder to break through than it is for those born fighters, but I suppose it's still easier than just sitting there crying about how unfair everything is. Look, we could sit here and hand you all the secrets of the universe on a silver platter, but none of that matters if you think reading a few words is enough to make things happen while you wait for a miracle to drop from the sky. Nobody is telling you this is going to be easy, but it’s probably easier than you’re making it out to be. Just move. Do something, anything at all. You can't control the stuff that’s pure chance—you know, like a freak accident or a sudden death—but beyond those things, you actually have some say in your own life. If we set aside the random chaos of existence, I guess everyone is ultimately the architect of their own fate.

ruggedheron10 said:Look, you’ve got zero backbone. You aren't persistent, and you tend to brush off good advice before you've even given it a fair shake—you can't know if something works until you actually try it. If the local community college offers you free training, go grab it. Seriously. And meeting people? Go grab a coffee with them; you might actually get to know someone better and stumble into a career path that usually costs a fortune. Personally, I'm leaning toward a sales manager role—I actually shelled out for an intensive management seminar at a firm like McKinsey $5000 just to see if it was worth the investment. Set some actual goals for your life and start checking them off. They don't have to be world-changing; just break them down into short-term (a month or so), long-term (one to five years), and maybe some weekly micro-tasks. Just be persistent and try to keep a positive mindset for once.

I looked into it, and "supposedly" it's free. But when she mentioned some kind of $10,000$16667 penalty the government uses to protect itself if you fail to complete the course, I couldn't say I was thrilled about it (mostly because I don't have that kind of money, and the specific course I was asking about—the one I'd actually pay for privately—certainly doesn't cost that much). I wasn't rejecting anyone's advice; it just seems like that's how everyone is interpreting my position...

crimsoncanyon2 said:Talk about a total lack of common sense... 🤦
Why on earth are you waiting for someone to come along, take you by the hand, and hand you a job? Brajo, pick up the phone, ask questions, reach out, show some damn initiative!!!!
A potential employer wants to see drive—not some person with zero motivation just sitting around waiting to collect a paycheck!!!
And as for those state training programs—since they're free, you've got absolutely nothing to lose... if the skill or knowledge they're offering isn't in demand today, who's to say it won't be next year, or next summer, or whenever...
Besides, any kind of training is a chance to network, and you never know who you might meet—someone might know someone who can help you get hired, give you a lead, or point you in the right direction...

If you don't start thinking more logically, you aren't going to find a wife at all...

And honestly, being communicative is a skill you can learn.

I never said I expected someone to lead me by the hand into a job. I'm just sick of sending out applications and emails into a void where nobody ever replies. Honestly, I find it hard to believe that at a massive corporation like Amazon, people are too lazy to hit reply. They have tools to send mass messages so they don't have to type a million times, so either they're incompetent with technology or it's just more corporate nonsense, which seems to be the standard in this country.
Besides, you don't even know me. In every job I've ever had, I didn't give 100%, I gave 1000%. Everyone else was standing around taking smoke breaks, but I wasn't—since I don't smoke—so theoretically, I was doing way more work than them. Or take the time I was five minutes late because of a subway delay (even though I leave early to account for that), and I immediately get grilled for it, while the local drunk shows up late every single day and sleeps through half his shift, yet he gets treated better than I do. I'm done with this crap. The level of frustration I feel is impossible to describe. Every cent I earn is hard-won; I didn't just "get" it like some people do. And let's talk about private employers in this country—they act like slave drivers. At companies like Walmart, they want you to work three jobs for minimum wage from dawn till dusk, and then they have the nerve to complain about money while driving a BMW Series 7, while I can barely afford a used Ford. On top of that, 90% of these places want one to two years of experience, which is a joke if they won't even give you a shot to begin with.
I'm honestly just over it all—work, dating, life, everything. If things keep going this way, I'm just going to check out for good. 🙂

Hannah Morris4 said:You’re basically putting yourself in a cage, and honestly, that’s just bad—really bad.
I guess I’ve always been wired this way too, just constantly picking myself apart, thinking everyone else has it figured out while I’m falling short. But I can see where that path leads, and it's just standing still; my head is overflowing with goals and half-baked ideas, yet nothing ever actually happens. For the longest time, I was just waiting for some hero to show up, grab me by the arm, and say, "Hey, let's get moving, we'll do this together," but you know what? That person never showed. I was lucky enough to eventually realize that life doesn't work that way, so now I'm trying to fix it. Of course, for people like us, it’s a hell of a lot harder to break through than it is for those born fighters, but I suppose it's still easier than just sitting there crying about how unfair everything is. Look, we could sit here and hand you all the secrets of the universe on a silver platter, but none of that matters if you think reading a few words is enough to make things happen while you wait for a miracle to drop from the sky. Nobody is telling you this is going to be easy, but it’s probably easier than you’re making it out to be. Just move. Do something, anything at all. You can't control the stuff that’s pure chance—you know, like a freak accident or a sudden death—but beyond those things, you actually have some say in your own life. If we set aside the random chaos of existence, I guess everyone is ultimately the architect of their own fate.

The idea of "natural fighters" isn't real. There are just people who were lucky enough during their upbringing to gain more confidence and self-respect than others, which helped them succeed. Sure, everyone is the architect of their own fortune, but let me ask you this: how many people who have dealt with abuse—in any form—actually manage to become successful today? And consider how much crap they had to swallow or how much therapy they had to go through to get there, compared to people who didn't have to deal with that.

Look, you’ve had plenty of advice from the folks on this forum—now the ball is in your court. You can either actually get moving or just sit around complaining. Personally, I find that repeating "I CAN do this," "I WILL do this," and "I WANT this" helps keep things straight. Good luck out there; at the end of the day, everything depends on the choices you make.

I've decided to stop posting on the forum altogether, regardless of the topic. Sorry for being a bother.