Elementary school teachers

urbanpilot said:I still remember those Red Cross drives from back when I was just a kid during the war years—back then, people actually stepped up and gave even more.
Now, they’re asking $1.75 from kids, while most adults don't bother. When I was in school, we used to go door-to-door, collecting cash, food, clothes... and it went directly to the people who actually needed the help.

Look, I don't mind helping someone out who's struggling—I don't exactly have money to burn myself—but at least you should know where the help is going. Too often, it doesn't even reach the people who truly need it.

That's why I don't give anything to the people knocking on my door. Instead, every Christmas or Easter, a few friends and I pick one specific family to visit. We see exactly what they need, buy it ourselves, and drop it off. That way, I know it actually ended up in the right hands.

Around here, the Red Cross collects at schools and goes door-to-door too. We donated both ways when the kids were out collecting, and I didn't regret it one bit. Good deeds come back to you. But later, I saw those same kids buying snacks and just fooling around in the streets. You can't really know where the money comes from, but it felt pretty rude and wild. They're wearing those Red Cross shirts, collecting money, and then just messing around.
I once gave a dollar to a guy begging on the street during a big festival downtown. It wasn't much, but it matters to someone. I didn't stop to wonder if he was faking it or whatever. He had a limp, looked disabled... and he blessed me as I walked by. I guess whatever he does next is on his own conscience.

That teacher should be ashamed of herself.

The whole "quasi-loan" thing is just stupid. If Mom said no, then it’s a no. There’s a reason the kid didn't have cash on him, right? It means things are tight at home. Just because this lady lends him some money doesn't mean it’s magically going to be paid back.

I mean, he could’ve just sat there and eaten his lunch, but if anyone laughed, she could've handled it like a real professional.

Another way would've been to just give him those $7.00 or whatever, or just tell him, "Look, I'll give you $3.25 so you can grab a McDonald's and call it a day." And then never bring up the money again.

What this woman is doing now is honestly bottom-of-the-barrel behavior. If I were that boy's mom, I would've reported her immediately just to make her feel how awkward she's being, rather than me having to deal with her.

Kenneth Brown5 said:The teacher caught my mom's mistake, and honestly, there’s really no point in getting all worked up over "what ifs" or playing the blame game, so let's just stick to what actually happened—there's no sense in making a big deal out of nothing!

Even his teacher didn't quite see the writing on the wall, because the little guy mentioned earlier that they were heading out to Taco Bell tonight.

If I were stepping into that mother's shoes, honestly, I’d probably be feeling just as torn as she is, kind of like trying to pick between saving a few bucks at Target or making sure everyone's happy with a fancy dinner. It’s such a tricky spot to be in, you know?

Was my mom wrong? 😕

🤦

Is it really my mom's fault that the teacher didn't give them enough heads-up? I mean, what was she supposed to do? Go knocking on all her friends' and relatives' doors the night before a field trip just to scramble together some cash? Give me a break...

Honestly, here’s how I’d handle it. I’d just be straight up with her. I’d tell her that nobody needs to be blindsided by last-minute news like that. And look, my kid isn't an orphan—they have both a mom and a dad who actually care. You don't just spring stuff on people; you ask for permission or at least try to coordinate with the parents first. It’s just common sense, right?

Sarah James4 said:Kids only ask for McDonald's because they know they can eventually talk their parents into it. Once the answer is a firm "no," suddenly the hype dies down. I remember when kids used to head out on field trips with simple packed lunches from home and nobody ever complained. It seems like bringing a sandwich and a juice box isn't considered cool anymore—not really for the kids, but mostly for the parents.

Even today, people still pack lunch boxes and water bottles. My daughter goes on a weekly "field trip" with her preschool—sometimes it’s just a few stops on the light rail to a big park, other times it’s all the way across town.

They've never asked us for a single cent for these outings.

The only requirement is that every kid has a raincoat (the most basic kind imaginable) in their backpack in case of rain, plus a water bottle that the teachers refill for them. For food, they just bring the lunch provided by the preschool.

As for these organized trips to the movies or nature spots that end up being "evaluated"—😲 I'm speechless. I honestly wonder if the Department has even approved this kind of thing.

Regarding the whole "mom's oversight" excuse and that line about everyone needing at least $6.75 whenever they head out (that's how it sounded)—all I can say is 😂 😂. Honestly, you guys are lucky to live in such a world.

Kate Cox2 said:Well, of course she traveled; she had to lead the students on field trips! But let's be clear: teachers aren't getting paid extra through the kids. It’s actually built into the way American travel agencies structure their packages—they bake the cost of the guide and the teacher's supervision into the total price of the trip itself.

The reality is that kids can't just wander off on a school trip by themselves. And honestly, believe me when I say that many teachers would much rather skip the travel entirely than deal with the grueling reality of being responsible for 20 or 30 children in a different city or state from dawn until dusk.

I never said they were all like that. But some definitely are. I know the agencies pay them, but it's easy to sit around and philosophize about where one could travel and what sights to see when you aren't paying for it out of your own pocket. 😉

She never actually went on vacations with her family using her own money. While they were stuck at home, she was out traveling with her students—sometimes as a regular traveler, sometimes just acting as a chaperone. Honestly, she doesn't even pretend otherwise; she openly admits she didn't want to deal with the hassle of organizing things for her own family. 🤷

In my opinion, Mom needs to talk to both the teacher and the kid. It was just a misunderstanding. I’d go ahead and pay them back right now, then make sure to say—look, please don't feel like you need to buy my son sandwiches. I'd really appreciate it if you could just let me know if you're planning on heading out somewhere. Thanks.

Since Mom found out everything her kid would have to deal with just the night before, I honestly feel like she messed up by letting it happen.
I don't get why everyone's making such a big deal out of this.

At the end of the day, my kid would either eat what everyone else is eating or they wouldn't go at all.

And frankly, I’m dying to hear what the teacher thinks about any of this.

I’ve been skimming through the thread. All I want to say is that the teacher probably just gave her a vague suggestion—like, "just take it now and your mom will pay you back later," or something along those lines—just so the kid doesn't feel awkward about taking the money.

It’s easy to sit here on this forum and play the expert, but I doubt anyone would actually want to pick a fight with a teacher who will be instructing their child for at least another year or two. You really should try to handle this gracefully—return that blessed $7.00 and then have a serious talk with your kid about not taking money in the future.

As for the teacher giving him cash, she clearly had nothing but good intentions. She felt bad seeing a child watch everyone else eat while he sat there with nothing. Apparently, instead of having those kind intentions, she should have just let the poor kid suffer and stare at what everyone else had. And the fact that she reminded him about the money? Clearly, she expected the little guy to tell his mom immediately so she could send it back right away. She wasn't asking for interest; she was simply asking for what she lent out of pure kindness—which, apparently, is a mistake because you end up looking like the villain anyway.

$7.00 It’s truly a small amount of money. Now, someone might argue that for someone struggling, it’s a lot, but who is to say it wasn't also a significant amount for the teacher to part with, which is why she expects it back?

I don't see why there's such a massive fuss. No sane person would cause this much drama over a few bucks $7.00; it's just not worth it, especially in this situation. Besides, the kid could have simply said no if he wanted to. Tomorrow or the day after, he can just borrow some change from a friend for an ice cream or a candy bar or whatever.

The teacher didn't force him to take the money; she merely offered help during a very awkward moment for a child. In my opinion, the mother should actually be grateful that the teacher spared her son that embarrassment, seeing as how everyone else had $6.75, while her child didn't even have enough for $1.75... basically the cost of the cheapest ice cream cone imaginable...

Donna James4 said:I’ve been skimming through the thread. All I want to say is that the teacher probably just gave her a vague suggestion—like, "just take it now and your mom will pay you back later," or something along those lines—just so the kid doesn't feel awkward about taking the money.

Check the last page. Mom says she pulled him aside by the sleeve and specifically asked for the money back... what an awkward situation.

Jason Ortiz5 said:Was my mom wrong? 😕

🤦

Is it really my mom's fault that the teacher didn't give them enough heads-up? I mean, what was she supposed to do? Go knocking on all her friends' and relatives' doors the night before a field trip just to scramble together some cash? Give me a break...

Honestly, here’s how I’d handle it. I’d just be straight up with her. I’d tell her that nobody needs to be blindsided by last-minute news like that. And look, my kid isn't an orphan—they have both a mom and a dad who actually care. You don't just spring stuff on people; you ask for permission or at least try to coordinate with the parents first. It’s just common sense, right?

I’d just insist they eat sandwiches or maybe just pack $6.75🤷

Kenneth Brown5 said:I’d just insist they eat sandwiches or maybe just pack $6.75🤷

True. You have to reach an agreement with the kid, too.

copperheron18 said:It’s easy to sit here on this forum and play the expert, but I doubt anyone would actually want to pick a fight with a teacher who will be instructing their child for at least another year or two. You really should try to handle this gracefully—return that blessed $7.00 and then have a serious talk with your kid about not taking money in the future.

As for the teacher giving him cash, she clearly had nothing but good intentions. She felt bad seeing a child watch everyone else eat while he sat there with nothing. Apparently, instead of having those kind intentions, she should have just let the poor kid suffer and stare at what everyone else had. And the fact that she reminded him about the money? Clearly, she expected the little guy to tell his mom immediately so she could send it back right away. She wasn't asking for interest; she was simply asking for what she lent out of pure kindness—which, apparently, is a mistake because you end up looking like the villain anyway.

$7.00 It’s truly a small amount of money. Now, someone might argue that for someone struggling, it’s a lot, but who is to say it wasn't also a significant amount for the teacher to part with, which is why she expects it back?

I don't see why there's such a massive fuss. No sane person would cause this much drama over a few bucks $7.00; it's just not worth it, especially in this situation. Besides, the kid could have simply said no if he wanted to. Tomorrow or the day after, he can just borrow some change from a friend for an ice cream or a candy bar or whatever.

The teacher didn't force him to take the money; she merely offered help during a very awkward moment for a child. In my opinion, the mother should actually be grateful that the teacher spared her son that embarrassment, seeing as how everyone else had $6.75, while her child didn't even have enough for $1.75... basically the cost of the cheapest ice cream cone imaginable...

Totally agree.👍

What bothers me even more is that this whole thread turned into a debate about whether the teacher acted appropriately, when the truth is the little guy is just caught in the middle of a misunderstanding between his mom and the teacher that just keeps dragging on.

copperheron18 said:It’s easy to sit here on this forum and play the expert, but I doubt anyone would actually want to pick a fight with a teacher who will be instructing their child for at least another year or two. You really should try to handle this gracefully—return that blessed $7.00 and then have a serious talk with your kid about not taking money in the future.

As for the teacher giving him cash, she clearly had nothing but good intentions. She felt bad seeing a child watch everyone else eat while he sat there with nothing. Apparently, instead of having those kind intentions, she should have just let the poor kid suffer and stare at what everyone else had. And the fact that she reminded him about the money? Clearly, she expected the little guy to tell his mom immediately so she could send it back right away. She wasn't asking for interest; she was simply asking for what she lent out of pure kindness—which, apparently, is a mistake because you end up looking like the villain anyway.

$7.00 It’s truly a small amount of money. Now, someone might argue that for someone struggling, it’s a lot, but who is to say it wasn't also a significant amount for the teacher to part with, which is why she expects it back?

I don't see why there's such a massive fuss. No sane person would cause this much drama over a few bucks $7.00; it's just not worth it, especially in this situation. Besides, the kid could have simply said no if he wanted to. Tomorrow or the day after, he can just borrow some change from a friend for an ice cream or a candy bar or whatever.

The teacher didn't force him to take the money; she merely offered help during a very awkward moment for a child. In my opinion, the mother should actually be grateful that the teacher spared her son that embarrassment, seeing as how everyone else had $6.75, while her child didn't even have enough for $1.75... basically the cost of the cheapest ice cream cone imaginable...

What kind of "embarrassment"? Should a child feel ashamed? If kids tease him, well, that's a matter of how they were raised.☕

Yeah, and I feel like $6.75 "total $6.75" too, but please understand—yes, there are people who plan every single cent for the entire month and second-guess every purchase fifty times before spending it.

Then there are those who can't even cover basic living expenses, let alone someone else's whims. Some went into it knowing the risks, while others found themselves in that position literally overnight.

So what are they supposed to do now? Not enroll their children in school at all just because there's a chance they might feel embarrassed or get teased every single day?

copperheron18 said:It’s easy to sit here on this forum and play the expert, but I doubt anyone would actually want to pick a fight with a teacher who will be instructing their child for at least another year or two. You really should try to handle this gracefully—return that blessed $7.00 and then have a serious talk with your kid about not taking money in the future.

As for the teacher giving him cash, she clearly had nothing but good intentions. She felt bad seeing a child watch everyone else eat while he sat there with nothing. Apparently, instead of having those kind intentions, she should have just let the poor kid suffer and stare at what everyone else had. And the fact that she reminded him about the money? Clearly, she expected the little guy to tell his mom immediately so she could send it back right away. She wasn't asking for interest; she was simply asking for what she lent out of pure kindness—which, apparently, is a mistake because you end up looking like the villain anyway.

$7.00 It’s truly a small amount of money. Now, someone might argue that for someone struggling, it’s a lot, but who is to say it wasn't also a significant amount for the teacher to part with, which is why she expects it back?

I don't see why there's such a massive fuss. No sane person would cause this much drama over a few bucks $7.00; it's just not worth it, especially in this situation. Besides, the kid could have simply said no if he wanted to. Tomorrow or the day after, he can just borrow some change from a friend for an ice cream or a candy bar or whatever.

The teacher didn't force him to take the money; she merely offered help during a very awkward moment for a child. In my opinion, the mother should actually be grateful that the teacher spared her son that embarrassment, seeing as how everyone else had $6.75, while her child didn't even have enough for $1.75... basically the cost of the cheapest ice cream cone imaginable...

Look, a 10-year-old can make a decent call. ☕ She probably told him, "Just take this and pay me back later," and the kid was just like, "Okay," and went to eat.

I really don't get people defending this teacher. She’s known about that family's money struggles for a while now. Then the kid ends up with zero cash for the field trip. Come on, lady, do the math—it's obvious he's broke. If she were actually being resourceful, she could've just grabbed a burger and called it a day.

People are applying for teaching jobs these days and they just don't have any common sense.

It’s not some huge tragedy. It happened, let's move on. You just need to talk it out, nothing more. Why bother boiling over or feeling hurt, ashamed, or bitter? For what? We’re only human. We make mistakes, even when we mean well.

Peter Doyle2 said:Seriously, bold the whole thing and put it in your signature!!!

I'm telling you, we should just call the Department of Education and demand to see their official syllabus in writing. Let's see if it actually states that students will be graded or tested based on attending a movie trip that the parents have to pay for.😲
fucking unbelievable!! Media literacy could easily be taught by just watching a film in the classroom!! Otherwise, fine, let the school foot the bill for the cinema trip. Public schooling is MANDATORY, which means it HAS to be accessible to every single child!! Pushing these "paid field trips" isn't mandatory, so the school should just adjust its curriculum to fit its actual budget.

Unbelievable!!
I can already see myself becoming one of those moms who constantly makes noise at the PTA meetings. But I won't back down—it's not worth it. As if it isn't enough that they force us to buy a million new textbooks and workbooks every year, now they want to fleece us with unnecessary trips to the movies or theaters just because it's somehow "part of the grade"? Give me a break.

And regarding that Red Cross stuff—I remember back when I was in school, they’d hand out these little coupons and everyone HAD to bring in money for it. In the lower grades, the teacher would collect it, and in the upper ones, it was the class treasurer. They’d even keep a list of who paid and who didn't.🙄
What a wonderful, top-tier pedagogical method for teaching kids about charity.🙄

You actually reminded me of something....😁
You aren't alone in this—I almost always have something to ask or a critique to make, while everyone else just sits there in silence.

I remember back when my oldest was about three or four, during a parent meeting. I made this plea—basically an appeal to all the parents whose kids walk down our street (there’s a shop at both ends, including one right by the school)—asking them that if they were going to buy sweets, please don't leave the trash lying around the street or in our yards. I was dealing with piles of litter in my yard every single day. Everyone just sat there, stone-faced, until after I thanked them for their attention, the teacher cut me off and said: "This isn't the time or the place for this!" 😲
Then, the very next day, one mom pulls me aside and tells me she’d be too embarrassed to say something like that in public, and asks if it’s really that hard for me to just pick up the trash myself. So, I told her straight: If you and all the other parents had actually raised your kids not to litter, I wouldn't have anything to pick up—and frankly, I wouldn't even feel the need to make a public scene about it! She went dead silent.

The takeaway here: the school system is failing if basic decency is a taboo subject. And parenting is failing if parents get offended when someone points out their "little angels" are acting out.

Here's another one: Just a few weeks ago, during a massive parent meeting for all the third graders to discuss the upcoming spring break trip, they presented the itinerary—specifically the total cost per kid. Blah blah blah... I finally raise my hand and ask if they have any hotel brochures or flyers so we can actually see what we're paying for. They say, "No, we don't." Fine, I ask, can you at least give us the name of the hotel so we can Google the rooms and the accommodations? They tell me, "Oh, we haven't decided which hotel we're using yet!" 😲 So I asked: then how on earth do you know the exact price????🤷
She started stammering through some nonsense that even God couldn't make sense of.... We found out the name of the hotel about three days later.☕

***

Anyway, back ON topic:

I let my kid $7.00 handle handing the cash to his teacher tomorrow morning. After thinking about it, I came to a conclusion: if he was capable of taking the money, if he was capable of eating the treats, and if he was the one asking for them, then he can be the one to deliver them and bring the change back. It'll serve as a good lesson that nothing in life is free.

(Though, knowing my luck, I might get a call from the principal tomorrow for a little chat...🤣)

I think I finally wrap my head around how we end up raising these little materialists—kids who seem to think life is just a scoreboard measuring what someone’s wearing, what kind of shoes they have on, what they’re eating, whether their phone is the latest iPhone, or how much cash is sitting in their parents' bank account. It all stems from this deep-seated idea that must be kept in lockstep with everyone else, where not having the exact same things feels like a crushing sense of shame. Honestly, if you're wired that way, maybe it's better to keep your kids away from the spotlight, because otherwise, you're just setting them up for a lifetime of feeling inadequate. And I don't mean that parents are making them miserable on purpose; it’s more about society at large—it's those of us who, often without even realizing it and usually with the best intentions, inadvertently teach our children to look down on anyone who lives differently or doesn't have the same status symbols. Because in this mindset, there's this unspoken rule that you have to match the crowd, and if you don't, you're somehow failing or worthy of judgment, which just isn't right.

To anyone who feels like I've missed the mark, please, before you jump in to correct me, take a moment to read through this whole thread once more.

Taylor Swift, I completely get where you're coming from and why you were feeling so torn. Honestly, it was probably for the best that you got your money back. That being said, I can't help but wonder if there might have been a way to head off the drama entirely—maybe by handing over the cash before the trip and just leaving those pre-purchased plots of land at home? They wouldn't have gone anywhere, and it might have saved your little one from all that unnecessary stress. It’s also possible the teacher saw things through a totally different lens; she might have perceived you as being a bit negligent, thinking that even though you'd given her a heads-up the night before, you didn't bother giving the kid twenty bucks for basic expenses. You can never truly know what someone else is thinking or how they're judging you behind closed doors...
My advice would be to sit down with her as soon as you possibly can to talk through your financial situation and explain the context. If the child realized things were tight and that money was an issue, then that shouldn't be something the teacher needs to hold against you.

Kimberly Robinson2 said:You actually reminded me of something....😁
You aren't alone in this—I almost always have something to ask or a critique to make, while everyone else just sits there in silence.

I remember back when my oldest was about three or four, during a parent meeting. I made this plea—basically an appeal to all the parents whose kids walk down our street (there’s a shop at both ends, including one right by the school)—asking them that if they were going to buy sweets, please don't leave the trash lying around the street or in our yards. I was dealing with piles of litter in my yard every single day. Everyone just sat there, stone-faced, until after I thanked them for their attention, the teacher cut me off and said: "This isn't the time or the place for this!" 😲
Then, the very next day, one mom pulls me aside and tells me she’d be too embarrassed to say something like that in public, and asks if it’s really that hard for me to just pick up the trash myself. So, I told her straight: If you and all the other parents had actually raised your kids not to litter, I wouldn't have anything to pick up—and frankly, I wouldn't even feel the need to make a public scene about it! She went dead silent.

The takeaway here: the school system is failing if basic decency is a taboo subject. And parenting is failing if parents get offended when someone points out their "little angels" are acting out.

Here's another one: Just a few weeks ago, during a massive parent meeting for all the third graders to discuss the upcoming spring break trip, they presented the itinerary—specifically the total cost per kid. Blah blah blah... I finally raise my hand and ask if they have any hotel brochures or flyers so we can actually see what we're paying for. They say, "No, we don't." Fine, I ask, can you at least give us the name of the hotel so we can Google the rooms and the accommodations? They tell me, "Oh, we haven't decided which hotel we're using yet!" 😲 So I asked: then how on earth do you know the exact price????🤷
She started stammering through some nonsense that even God couldn't make sense of.... We found out the name of the hotel about three days later.☕

***

Anyway, back ON topic:

I let my kid $7.00 handle handing the cash to his teacher tomorrow morning. After thinking about it, I came to a conclusion: if he was capable of taking the money, if he was capable of eating the treats, and if he was the one asking for them, then he can be the one to deliver them and bring the change back. It'll serve as a good lesson that nothing in life is free.

(Though, knowing my luck, I might get a call from the principal tomorrow for a little chat...🤣)

If you ask me, you should have just gone to the school yourself to talk to the teacher—ask her nicely, or maybe give her a little heads-up, to actually notify parents about planned activities ahead of time next time. As it stands, you haven't really achieved anything here; you've just let the whole situation spiral in the wrong direction.

winnerica thinks that if the kid truly understood the concept of "no" and "not happening," he wouldn't have taken the cash in the first place—because he'd know Mom isn't going to cough up even that measly twenty bucks.