Elementary school teachers

Sarah James4 said:Money is lent when someone asks for it. I didn't see anything saying the kid grabbed her sleeve and begged for $10.

One could also argue—and I say this with all due conviction—that the kid really shouldn't have touched that money in the first place. 🤷

Anthony Gray said:If you ask me, you should have just gone to the school yourself to talk to the teacher—ask her nicely, or maybe give her a little heads-up, to actually notify parents about planned activities ahead of time next time. As it stands, you haven't really achieved anything here; you've just let the whole situation spiral in the wrong direction.

winnerica thinks that if the kid truly understood the concept of "no" and "not happening," he wouldn't have taken the cash in the first place—because he'd know Mom isn't going to cough up even that measly twenty bucks.

I couldn't agree more—I am signing my name to this wholeheartedly.

I’ve been reading through this—very carefully—once again.
The teacher was fully aware of what they were going through—she was incredibly kind and compassionate about the whole situation—and she made sure to welcome them into the classroom with open arms.
There are five other kids in the class who take turns getting those free field trips—you know, how it goes, someone else gets picked every single time.
Look, let's be real here—that teacher is fully aware of what those families are going through. She knows firsthand that money is a massive issue for them.
So, what exactly is the issue then—why on earth does he insist on... $7.00 ?

Jesse Flores842 said:One could also argue—and I say this with all due conviction—that the kid really shouldn't have touched that money in the first place. 🤷

I couldn't agree more—I am signing my name to this wholeheartedly.

I’ve been reading through this—very carefully—once again.
The teacher was fully aware of what they were going through—she was incredibly kind and compassionate about the whole situation—and she made sure to welcome them into the classroom with open arms.
There are five other kids in the class who take turns getting those free field trips—you know, how it goes, someone else gets picked every single time.
Look, let's be real here—that teacher is fully aware of what those families are going through. She knows firsthand that money is a massive issue for them.
So, what exactly is the issue then—why on earth does he insist on... $7.00 ?

And yet, she knowingly takes a class like that to McDonald's 🤷
and manages to cram two paid field trips into the exact same week. 🤷

To me, the $7.00 smallest issue remains the core of the whole thing.
It’s really just a symptom—the actual cause and the solution should be approached from a completely different angle.

nimbletrucker132 said:Taylor Swift, I completely get where you're coming from and why you were feeling so torn. Honestly, it was probably for the best that you got your money back. That being said, I can't help but wonder if there might have been a way to head off the drama entirely—maybe by handing over the cash before the trip and just leaving those pre-purchased plots of land at home? They wouldn't have gone anywhere, and it might have saved your little one from all that unnecessary stress. It’s also possible the teacher saw things through a totally different lens; she might have perceived you as being a bit negligent, thinking that even though you'd given her a heads-up the night before, you didn't bother giving the kid twenty bucks for basic expenses. You can never truly know what someone else is thinking or how they're judging you behind closed doors...
My advice would be to sit down with her as soon as you possibly can to talk through your financial situation and explain the context. If the child realized things were tight and that money was an issue, then that shouldn't be something the teacher needs to hold against you.

Look, whether she could or couldn't, whether I did or didn't—the reality is I can't pay it back that day.
She knows damn well that I went through a messy divorce, lost everything, ended up jobless, and moved to a completely new city. She knows plenty. (I won't go into all the details here.) Personally, I actually requested assistance from a local community center; we're still waiting to hear back.
And my little guy? He knows. He sees it. Honestly, since he was tiny, my kids have been raised to be modest. Not that I burden them with it, mind you—I just tell them we don't have anything extra right now, and once we do, we'll talk about whether we actually need it.
But him? He’s still just a little kid.

Anthony Gray said:If you ask me, you should have just gone to the school yourself to talk to the teacher—ask her nicely, or maybe give her a little heads-up, to actually notify parents about planned activities ahead of time next time. As it stands, you haven't really achieved anything here; you've just let the whole situation spiral in the wrong direction.

winnerica thinks that if the kid truly understood the concept of "no" and "not happening," he wouldn't have taken the cash in the first place—because he'd know Mom isn't going to cough up even that measly twenty bucks.

I am going to go there, and I already wrote down exactly why I’m sending the money. I want the boy to understand what he’s receiving and what is expected in return—call it a lesson in borrowing and the importance of paying people back. As for her—if she wants to pay ME back, fine, but he doesn't need to know that. That’s adult business.

I never told him (my mistake, I know) that he is NEVER allowed to borrow money. We’ve never been in a position where he would need to. He knows I'm not working, he knows we're scraping by for every cent. He knows this entire situation made me sick—literally. He sees me taking medication and dealing with these sores on my legs caused by stress and anxiety. He hears me when I admit I haven't slept all night because of the itching (these blisters on my legs itch like crazy until the skin dries out from the cream, so I'm constantly applying it at night). He knows... I don't hide the fact that life can make you sick, that you can be in pain, that you need treatment. I'm not teaching him that everything is perfect and wonderful, because it isn't.

And get this—just a little while ago, he earned enough for an ice cream and $6.75 from the neighbor... I was doing some sewing for her, and I didn't ask for a dime because our neighbors are great; they help us out if we need someone to watch the kid while we run errands. But the neighbor wouldn't take it, she insisted: "this is for him."

But I'm not going to take it away from him. I'll just buy him some candy instead. I'll get it somewhere else.

Here is a little encouragement for Kimberly Robinson2 🙂
I was also raised by a mother who pinched every single penny. I spent a lot of time feeling like the odd one out because she refused to pay for things like school insurance or Red Cross dues. I went everywhere my peers went, but I did it with zero pocket money. I didn't eat out or buy the stuff other kids could easily afford. Honestly, those moments were awkward and pretty rough. But looking back? I don't hold it against her at all. Now that I’m an adult, I get it. Money vanishes in a heartbeat. You learn quickly that you have to be smart about where you put it and what is actually worth the cost. 😉

northerncobra27 said:I think I finally wrap my head around how we end up raising these little materialists—kids who seem to think life is just a scoreboard measuring what someone’s wearing, what kind of shoes they have on, what they’re eating, whether their phone is the latest iPhone, or how much cash is sitting in their parents' bank account. It all stems from this deep-seated idea that must be kept in lockstep with everyone else, where not having the exact same things feels like a crushing sense of shame. Honestly, if you're wired that way, maybe it's better to keep your kids away from the spotlight, because otherwise, you're just setting them up for a lifetime of feeling inadequate. And I don't mean that parents are making them miserable on purpose; it’s more about society at large—it's those of us who, often without even realizing it and usually with the best intentions, inadvertently teach our children to look down on anyone who lives differently or doesn't have the same status symbols. Because in this mindset, there's this unspoken rule that you have to match the crowd, and if you don't, you're somehow failing or worthy of judgment, which just isn't right.

To anyone who feels like I've missed the mark, please, before you jump in to correct me, take a moment to read through this whole thread once more.

That’s called stigmatization.
That’s why I say the most important thing for a kid is the warmth of their home and their parents. Values come from the home. The world might try to bend them, but it won't break them.
The suit isn't more important than the man—it's the man inside the suit.

I was thinking about what one user said earlier regarding why schools bother with all these big theater trips and outings throughout the year... I mean, sure, a couple of field trips or an occasional museum visit is fine (like hitting up the Governor's mansion in DC for free)... or maybe some outdoor science class... but still... back in my day, my teacher would take us down to the coast or through local parks in the fall, and you actually learned something from it... then my friend tells me her son, who's just a third grader, went to see the same play twice with the same teacher last year, and they did the exact same trip to the state park twice too... like, what's the point?? Does the teacher just lack any actual ideas?? And if they have to submit a lesson plan in advance... who even approves it?? Going to the same spot multiple times and paying for it over and over... doesn't make any sense...

I have honestly never heard of a single child complaining about visiting a theater, a movie house, going on a field trip, or hitting up a museum. If anything, kids find this stuff fascinating.

Furthermore, many kids wouldn't even get a glimpse of a stage play or a gallery if they weren't heading out with their teachers. It isn't as if parents would be rushing to take them there constantly, so I really don't see what the issue is...
The only real downside is the cost, but let’s be honest—if someone is struggling financially, that is something that can be managed.

Has anyone here actually had a kid whine, "Ugh, Mom, we're going to the movies again? I don't feel like it, this is so lame"? I highly doubt it...

Every one of these outings serves a purpose. If anyone in this group fails to see the value in visiting museums, exploring National Parks, wandering through caves, or touring historic sites—places where you can weave in history, geography, or art tailored to a child's age—then I truly question the quality of those parents' own education...

As for the claim that someone took the kids to the exact same spot twice, I won't comment on that directly, though that teacher definitely needs a talking-to; perhaps her memory isn't what it used to be.😕

Kenneth Brown5 said:Since Mom found out everything her kid would have to deal with just the night before, I honestly feel like she messed up by letting it happen.
I don't get why everyone's making such a big deal out of this.

At the end of the day, my kid would either eat what everyone else is eating or they wouldn't go at all.

And frankly, I’m dying to hear what the teacher thinks about any of this.

I don't really care for arguing on forums, but excuse me, but do you even understand the concept ofnot having
? To some people, as previously mentioned, it's $6.75 nothing, while to others, it's everything. I'm certain any mother... any mother would provide everything possible for her child. I completely empathize with the mother because I grew up with nothing, and it never happened that other kids had things I didn't. As a future mother, I can at least imagine how she felt sending her child on a field trip without money—thank God I don't have to. It isn't her fault if she doesn't have it. You can't just choose to have children based solely on who has money...

The kid went and handed his cash back to the teacher. Since he’s got a massive mouth—he talks until he's blue in the face 😁—he doesn't even realize what he actually said, but somehow he managed to land himself an in-person meeting with her this Monday....🤣

So, until then, I'm flying blind.

As for those field trips, movies, theater stuff—yeah, they know how to write an essay. When they were out in Smalltown, USA, they had to write about bread making, but honestly, what they saw there! 😲 And of course, he wrote it all wrong, because I didn't see what they saw, and since I helped him a little with the writing, it wasn't exactly perfect....

They also had one day where they just sat there watching some cartoon movie, whatever. The assignment was to retell the story. But since he couldn't care less about cartoons, he didn't remember anything and didn't write the damn thing. All that was left in his notebook was the title. And then came the reprimand from her about missing homework. So, I wrote her a little note on a piece of paper explaining that he didn't remember what he watched. She shot back at me, asking how that was possible, saying he was supposed to write about a happy family. At which point I wrote: First off, he doesn't have a family, and secondly, we aren't exactly "happy" during a crisis like this—not that we're complaining, we aren't starving, thank God, but still. Going through the motions of describing some made-up nonsense about blah blah happiness and big families... I just don't see the point of that topic.

Naturally, I got called in for a talk...😂

And sure enough, I told her all of that right to her face—that my kid can't describe something (he was supposed to compare the cartoon to his home life) because we aren't all living in some rosy wonderland when reality is clearly different! Besides, he's too young to have such a wild imagination that he'd just invent things that don't exist.

It really gets to me, how they patronize them! They try to shield them from the reality of this world, acting like everything is perfect. Sure, there are beautiful things, but there's plenty of ugly stuff too. Not long ago, the neighbors' gorgeous cat passed away. My boy was outside and came running in terrified, yelling that something happened at the neighbor's house. I ran outside and heard these horrific screams coming from the hallway....😲 It was gut-wrenching. I know two girls (14 and 17) live in the apartment above ours with their parents, and now I can't stop wondering what might have happened to them. The screaming wouldn't stop—just: Noooooooo, nooooooo, I can't do thiiiiiiis, nooooooooooooooo... my blood turned to ice for those few seconds while I stood there by the door. I rang the bell. Nothing. Rang it again. The younger girl comes to the door and I ask if something happened, if they need help. She just says, our cat died....😲 And then the dad shows up, grabs the girl by the shoulder (they're decent people normally), and I tell him I'm sorry, but I ran out because I heard the screaming and wanted to help if I could. You know what he tells me? That it's none of my business!! 😲 Then he slams the door in my face.

Makes me wonder: next time I hear screaming, am I going to jump in?
Will anyone else jump in? (the neighbors heard it too)
Will my own child jump in and call for help?
And what if next time things are much worse and nobody reacts at all?

And here's the kicker: it was the 17-year-old girl screaming. Look, I get it, losing a pet is awful. I understand. But clearly, she's been raised under a glass dome where the world is just sunshine and rainbows. Totally isolated from real situations. What happens when actual tragedy hits one of them? Will they just break? Because they won't know how to handle reality.

That's why the school system irritates me so much... everything is colorful, smiling, wonderful, and fair, while everything else is hidden behind the curtain. They protect kids from things, and it isn't doing them any favors. I show my kids the real stuff—news clips of disasters, funerals, floods, wildfires..... because that's what's actually happening around us!

copperheron18 said:I have honestly never heard of a single child complaining about visiting a theater, a movie house, going on a field trip, or hitting up a museum. If anything, kids find this stuff fascinating.

Furthermore, many kids wouldn't even get a glimpse of a stage play or a gallery if they weren't heading out with their teachers. It isn't as if parents would be rushing to take them there constantly, so I really don't see what the issue is...
The only real downside is the cost, but let’s be honest—if someone is struggling financially, that is something that can be managed.

Has anyone here actually had a kid whine, "Ugh, Mom, we're going to the movies again? I don't feel like it, this is so lame"? I highly doubt it...

Every one of these outings serves a purpose. If anyone in this group fails to see the value in visiting museums, exploring National Parks, wandering through caves, or touring historic sites—places where you can weave in history, geography, or art tailored to a child's age—then I truly question the quality of those parents' own education...

As for the claim that someone took the kids to the exact same spot twice, I won't comment on that directly, though that teacher definitely needs a talking-to; perhaps her memory isn't what it used to be.😕

The real issue arises when this is implemented as a mandatory part of the elementary school curriculum which, in theory and by law, is supposed to be entirely free and accessible to every single student.

Laura—if I have to write an essay about making bread, I’m siding with the teacher. I'll defend my profession if that's what it takes.

Both tasks fall under language arts and creative expression. They’re mandatory grading elements. The kid's job is simple: watch the movie or follow the event closely, then retell it, either in writing or out loud. It's about how you or the kid interprets the film's theme.

He didn't like the second pair of sleeves... but that's no excuse. A kid can't just write whatever they want and expect it to be okay, regardless of how things are going at home. He should have just written it straight: "In the movie it was like this, but my situation is totally different." Honestly, the teacher was being really fair by not slapping him with a failing grade right away just because he didn't turn in the assignment.

Regarding that whole drama with the neighbors... some people treat their pets like actual members of the family. They feel like they’ve lost a relative when one passes away. I don't get the point of all this noise. Of course it hit them hard. Sure, they're grieving, but they aren't losing a human being. It's just not the same.🤷

Look, when it comes to these school trips, every parent has every right to keep their kid home for whatever reason they want. It’s their call. At the start of the school year, teachers are supposed to lay everything out—the planned trips, the rough costs, the schedule. That's the time to speak up. If you don't like the plan, tell the teacher and hash it out then. Simple as that.
Nothing beats a bad workday like having to wrangle a massive group of kids on a "field trip" while being solely responsible for their safety. 🙄Honestly, whenever I hear people whining about how teachers are "making a killing" or using their paychecks to travel halfway around the world, it drives me absolutely insane. It's ridiculous. 🤮 I’d love to take all those self-righteous parents and stick them in a classroom for a single day. Let them see how "easy," "fun," or "relaxing" this actually is. Sure, we have good days, but don't you dare disrespect our profession or what we do for a living.

copperheron18 said:I have honestly never heard of a single child complaining about visiting a theater, a movie house, going on a field trip, or hitting up a museum. If anything, kids find this stuff fascinating.

Furthermore, many kids wouldn't even get a glimpse of a stage play or a gallery if they weren't heading out with their teachers. It isn't as if parents would be rushing to take them there constantly, so I really don't see what the issue is...
The only real downside is the cost, but let’s be honest—if someone is struggling financially, that is something that can be managed.

Has anyone here actually had a kid whine, "Ugh, Mom, we're going to the movies again? I don't feel like it, this is so lame"? I highly doubt it...

Every one of these outings serves a purpose. If anyone in this group fails to see the value in visiting museums, exploring National Parks, wandering through caves, or touring historic sites—places where you can weave in history, geography, or art tailored to a child's age—then I truly question the quality of those parents' own education...

As for the claim that someone took the kids to the exact same spot twice, I won't comment on that directly, though that teacher definitely needs a talking-to; perhaps her memory isn't what it used to be.😕

Exactly. Parents are often the last people willing to drop a dime or even five minutes of their time for their kids.
Kids are happiest when they aren't in school, even if they're just sitting in a field staring at wildflowers.
But we aren't even debating trips to castles or caves here; we're talking about McDonald's. What category does that fall into?
A few years back, a colleague nearly lost it because her daughter came home with a note from her teacher asking for money for a field trip to the Turbo grinder. Very educational, wasn't it?

Olivia Brown7 said:Exactly. Parents are often the last people willing to drop a dime or even five minutes of their time for their kids.
Kids are happiest when they aren't in school, even if they're just sitting in a field staring at wildflowers.
But we aren't even debating trips to castles or caves here; we're talking about McDonald's. What category does that fall into?
A few years back, a colleague nearly lost it because her daughter came home with a note from her teacher asking for money for a field trip to the Turbo grinder. Very educational, wasn't it?

Teachers should stick to the curriculum. Why are some taking kids to Turbo grinders or McDonald's? It’s clearly just to keep them happy, not because it fits the lesson plan. Visiting museums, theaters, or touring cities within the County belongs in a completely different category.

Olivia Brown7 said:Exactly. Parents are often the last people willing to drop a dime or even five minutes of their time for their kids.
Kids are happiest when they aren't in school, even if they're just sitting in a field staring at wildflowers.
But we aren't even debating trips to castles or caves here; we're talking about McDonald's. What category does that fall into?
A few years back, a colleague nearly lost it because her daughter came home with a note from her teacher asking for money for a field trip to the Turbo grinder. Very educational, wasn't it?

😂😂 oh please, I actually can't believe this. I get some pretty brainless field trip ideas from my high schoolers, but this... what did she even write in the gradebook?!!? A trip to the department store. It’s gotta be an urban legend. I practically had to kill myself trying to justify a trip to Disneyland, and she's out here planning a stroll through the local mall.

Jesse Flores842 said:One could also argue—and I say this with all due conviction—that the kid really shouldn't have touched that money in the first place. 🤷

I couldn't agree more—I am signing my name to this wholeheartedly.

I’ve been reading through this—very carefully—once again.
The teacher was fully aware of what they were going through—she was incredibly kind and compassionate about the whole situation—and she made sure to welcome them into the classroom with open arms.
There are five other kids in the class who take turns getting those free field trips—you know, how it goes, someone else gets picked every single time.
Look, let's be real here—that teacher is fully aware of what those families are going through. She knows firsthand that money is a massive issue for them.
So, what exactly is the issue then—why on earth does he insist on... $7.00 ?

Are you kidding me? You're basically blaming a child for accepting cash from a teacher who handed it to him as a gift.

You're expecting a ten-year-old to show more responsibility than an adult, let alone his own teacher.

Setting aside motives and good intentions or whatever stigma people want to attach to this...

The teacher gave the little guy money he didn't even ask for. She offered it as a gift. When someone gives you something unprompted, that's a gift.

And now she wants that gift back.

That's the part that really sticks out to me.

Anthony Gray said:If you ask me, you should have just gone to the school yourself to talk to the teacher—ask her nicely, or maybe give her a little heads-up, to actually notify parents about planned activities ahead of time next time. As it stands, you haven't really achieved anything here; you've just let the whole situation spiral in the wrong direction.

winnerica thinks that if the kid truly understood the concept of "no" and "not happening," he wouldn't have taken the cash in the first place—because he'd know Mom isn't going to cough up even that measly twenty bucks.

Seriously... you guys are totally overestimating a ten-year-old. I honestly don't get you all..

The teacher gives him her own money (it's a gift, he didn't ask for it) and he's just happy because he can finally be like everyone else and buy that damn Happy Meal... and apparently, he was supposed to "know better"...

I really hope your kids never have to "know better." That would be just cruel.

So sad.

Look, I’m not trying to diminish what the kid is going through—I get it. A ten-year-old isn't exactly sitting around calculating his mom's bank balance or understanding the nuances of household budgeting. That’s actually what I was trying to point out to Sarah James4 earlier. You just can't expect that kind of foresight from a child at that age. To me, it seems perfectly natural that he accepted the money from his teacher; he just wanted to grab a Happy Meal like everyone else.

Sarah James4 said:Are you kidding me? You're basically blaming a child for accepting cash from a teacher who handed it to him as a gift.

You're expecting a ten-year-old to show more responsibility than an adult, let alone his own teacher.

Setting aside motives and good intentions or whatever stigma people want to attach to this...

The teacher gave the little guy money he didn't even ask for. She offered it as a gift. When someone gives you something unprompted, that's a gift.

And now she wants that gift back.

That's the part that really sticks out to me.

No, hold on—where exactly did I say that?
I was responding specifically to your point about the kid pulling on his teacher’s sleeve to get cash. She didn't just hand him money (which is what the headline implies, by the way). She explicitly stated she was *lending* it to him and expected it back tomorrow. Now, why would she do that?
Why would a woman—someone who is fully aware of this family's situation, someone who actually contacted social services to get them help, and someone who clearly isn't some heartless jerk—insist on being paid back?
That is my point.
As far as I can see, the kid just got caught up in a "situation" between a parent and a teacher through no fault of his own, and things spiraled out of control because of nothing more than a massive game of telephone.

Jesse Flores842 said:No, hold on—where exactly did I say that?
I was responding specifically to your point about the kid pulling on his teacher’s sleeve to get cash. She didn't just hand him money (which is what the headline implies, by the way). She explicitly stated she was *lending* it to him and expected it back tomorrow. Now, why would she do that?
Why would a woman—someone who is fully aware of this family's situation, someone who actually contacted social services to get them help, and someone who clearly isn't some heartless jerk—insist on being paid back?
That is my point.
As far as I can see, the kid just got caught up in a "situation" between a parent and a teacher through no fault of his own, and things spiraled out of control because of nothing more than a massive game of telephone.

So basically, if I pull you aside, hand you cash, and tell you straight up it's a loan, and then you never even mention it or ask about it...

If she was "lending" it to protect him from bullies, then she shouldn't be asking for it back. It was a kind gesture. The kid never asked for a gift or a loan in the first place.

If she's sending "life lessons" to the mom, I'd be the first one to fire her. It's just not decent or moral to settle disputes with a parent by using a child as a messenger. It's totally unprofessional.

Sorry... but she basically overstepped by making decisions that aren't hers to make.

Either she should have just given it as a gift and kept quiet, or she shouldn't have given it at all. What she did was a complete mess.

Seriously, that teacher is a total weirdo. Since when do you lend money to a ten-year-old? You’re basically handing cash to a mom who isn't even there and definitely didn't agree to the loan.
By trying to claw that money back now, she just completely trashed whatever good intentions she supposedly had.