Feeling torn between people

hm.........!!? Look, just go ahead and do whatever you think is best for you, and honestly, good luck with all that.🙂
The only thing I’d ever disagree with is the idea of people dragging you into their own messy complications—the only thing a person should ever be getting themselves involved in is:

frozenpuma12 said:hm.........!!? Look, just go ahead and do whatever you think is best for you, and honestly, good luck with all that.🙂
The only thing I’d ever disagree with is the idea of people dragging you into their own messy complications—the only thing a person should ever be getting themselves involved in is:

No matter how much you disagree, people are still going to pull you into their drama. Sometimes, you just can't stay neutral and walk away when the whole situation hits close to home.🙏

It isn't fair for anyone to use blackmail against you, whether it comes from your parents or from your wife.

Of course, it is the duty of an adult to become independent and, once they have established their own family, to ensure that they are the primary focus of his care and responsibility. Naturally, I also believe that your place is with your child: everyone’s place is with their children, just as children should grow up alongside their parents. However, regardless of how many people advise you that your place is by your wife and child's side, I do not know how much faith a man can place in a woman who resorts to coercion and demands that he renounce his parents—treating them poorly while her own parents are, of course, deemed "perfect" (I am always skeptical of such black-and-white distinctions). At the same time, these "perfect" parents of hers are disparaging you, the husband their own daughter chose for herself.

He ought to resolve the issues within his marriage; I do not know the exact circumstances, but first and foremost, he needs to discover through honest conversation what she actually wants: does she truly love him and desire his happiness (because a woman who wants that must realize how ugly and selfish it is to use force and blackmail to alienate a husband from his parents—demanding he be only by her side, even if it leaves him unhappy because he lacks 'access' to his parents), or does she simply want a pushover by her side who will cater exclusively to her whims and—of course—admire her "ideal" parents, while simultaneously disrespecting his own because she simply doesn't like them.

If she does not get along with your parents, she does not need to embrace them or see them constantly, provided that any meetings occur with a minimum level of politeness and courtesy; however, she has no right to demand that you disown your parents just because she finds them disagreeable.

On the other hand, he should explain clearly to his own parents that he holds a responsibility toward his family, his wife, and his child, and that he needs to determine if his marriage has any chance of survival, as he wishes to provide his child with a stable childhood free from conflict, hatred, and manipulation. He should make it clear that in a situation that is already difficult, he cannot be subjected to further pressure via threats of being stripped of parental rights. He should tell them that he requires their parental guidance, support, and understanding during this trying time... and if they are true parents, I believe they should understand him... and offer him their support.

Life only moves in one direction—forward—so why spend another second looking back? You really need to focus all that energy on your kid, letting them be the North Star that guides everything you do next.

When you think about it, wives and mothers aren't all that different... they both tend to be master manipulators in their own way. There’s even that old psychological theory suggesting we subconsciously choose partners who mirror our parents—and usually, it's the more difficult parent that we end up recreating in our adult lives. 🤷
Think of this as your chance to finally settle those old childhood scores through your relationship. Why not take a stand for yourself, make a firm decision, and move forward? I truly wish you nothing but the best as you navigate this journey toward genuine maturity! 👍

rustygardener36, how’s the stock market looking these days?
Tell us a little more about yourself and the kid—when are you actually going to see them? Can you even picture a life without the little one? Hang in there... and don't let that kid grow up without a father.

I finally walked out. My family basically drove me to my breaking point because they kept pushing me away just because I’m not the type to go out and start fights or lose my cool constantly. Honestly? It got to a dark place where I felt like I might actually snap and hurt them. So, I'm moving in with my girlfriend. I wouldn't choose this way, but for now, it's the only move left on the board. She's a little overwhelmed right now, so I need to sit down and talk things through with her. As for my folks, they told me straight up that they're disowning me and don't want to see my face again. We'll see how things play out. In three days, I'm heading over to her place to start this new life with her.

rustygardener36 said:I finally walked out. My family basically drove me to my breaking point because they kept pushing me away just because I’m not the type to go out and start fights or lose my cool constantly. Honestly? It got to a dark place where I felt like I might actually snap and hurt them. So, I'm moving in with my girlfriend. I wouldn't choose this way, but for now, it's the only move left on the board. She's a little overwhelmed right now, so I need to sit down and talk things through with her. As for my folks, they told me straight up that they're disowning me and don't want to see my face again. We'll see how things play out. In three days, I'm heading over to her place to start this new life with her.

I get it—believe me, I’ve watched myself transform from a pretty level-headed guy into someone much harder to deal with. The important thing is to try and reel yourself back in while you still can, because once that threshold is crossed, it just gets harder and harder to turn things around.

I'm moving in with my wife. I wouldn't choose this as my first move, but for now, it's the only way to make things work. She's finally starting to see sense after we sat down and talked through some things, but as for my parents... they told me they're washing their hands of me and don't want to see me anymore. We'll see how things play out. In three days, I'll be settling in with her and my kid.

I'm glad you're going to be with your child—it'll be better for you to be there, even if I know it won't be easy living under those circumstances. But an easy life isn't worth much if you don't have the most important thing by your side, which in your case is your kid. It's good that your wife is softening up a bit, though I am sorry about your parents. If I could offer one bit of advice, don't write them off just yet. Just give them some space to cool down—they'll probably come around eventually.
I think I'm done weighing in on this particular topic, but I wanted to wish you the best. Hopefully, one day everyone can find a better way to connect and move past this. 🙂