Is gender identity inherent, or is it shaped by our environment?

The whole transgender situation confuses me. For instance, a man who wants to transition usually expresses that identity by wearing women's clothing, applying makeup, maybe trying to mimic female body language, and taking an interest in stereotypically feminine things.

What's confusing about all of this is that makeup, fashion, and much of that behavior are culturally conditioned. Just like how culture dictates that women make the salad at a backyard BBQ while the guy handles the grill. 🙂
Female movement differs from male movement because women have different hip structures and less muscle mass; when a man tries too hard to imitate those movements, it looks awkward and, as people often say, gay.

Some biological differences that come to mind are that a woman can become a mother, can engage in vaginal intercourse, and is generally physically weaker, which might make her less prone to resolving conflicts through violence.

Of course, I know there are neurological differences too. Even though I'm a woman, I have a "male brain"—meaning I'm better at spatial awareness, math, logic, and technical stuff. I'm not particularly interested in interpersonal drama or social circles, but those traits don't make me feel like a man; they just lead society to label me as tomboyish because I played with trucks as a kid. But again, that's culturally conditioned.

So, looking at the big picture, I don't quite get what's happening with trans people. It seems to me like they define their gender identity based on culture. A man who identifies as a woman wants to wear skirts, wear makeup, and read Cosmopolitan—he wants things shaped by culture rather than, say, wanting to be a mother.

Wouldn't it be simpler to just identify as a man who likes to dress up, rather than being a trans person trying to change your sex?

Then again, I remember feeling like a boy when I was a child simply because I preferred playing with boys' toys. 😁 If I had grown up in a more conservative town where there was heavy resistance to that, I probably would have been even more convinced that I was a boy in a girl's body.

I understand that sexual attraction to a specific gender exists regardless of culture, and that there are "male and female brains," but is gender identity itself independent of culture? Or do we build it based on our reflection in the mirror, sexual attraction, and our interests—essentially the culture we live in because society expects us to act according to our sex?

Gender identity? Absolutely, I'm on board with that; but gender itself is a much more complicated question 😉 (since we tend to view gender roles and social constructs as things shaped by society, whereas biological sex is rooted in our physical reality).

Megan Nguyen22 said:Gender identity? Absolutely, I'm on board with that; but gender itself is a much more complicated question 😉 (since we tend to view gender roles and social constructs as things shaped by society, whereas biological sex is rooted in our physical reality).

Yes, but even then, several points I mentioned earlier just don't sit right with me.

Besides, my impression is that I feel like a girl because I see a girl in the mirror; if I saw a guy, I'd feel like a guy. 🤷

In this specific case, you can see how much biology really calls the shots. At least, that's how it looks to me. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Reimer

I think you might be conflating sexual identity with gender identity.
Sexual identity is rooted in biological distinctions between males and females—it’s essentially a matter of nature. The proof is right there in the anatomy. 😳 This is what we call sex.

Gender identity, on the other hand, stems from that biological foundation but functions as a cultural construct; it's where all those societal expectations and stereotypes live. That's "gender." Society basically operates on the assumption that men should act like men and women should behave like women.

The friction occurs when an individual refuses to fit into those narrow, socially imposed boxes. You see this with feminism, where women reject traditional gender roles or expand them to fit their own lives... then you have gender benders, queer identities, and so on.

In the case of transgender individuals, the issue is that their internal sense of self doesn't align with their biological sex. They express this through changes in their gender identity, even though by undergoing a transition, they would effectively adopt the gender identity that corresponds to their new physical state.

David Gomez3 said:I think you might be conflating sexual identity with gender identity.
Sexual identity is rooted in biological distinctions between males and females—it’s essentially a matter of nature. The proof is right there in the anatomy. 😳 This is what we call sex.

Gender identity, on the other hand, stems from that biological foundation but functions as a cultural construct; it's where all those societal expectations and stereotypes live. That's "gender." Society basically operates on the assumption that men should act like men and women should behave like women.

The friction occurs when an individual refuses to fit into those narrow, socially imposed boxes. You see this with feminism, where women reject traditional gender roles or expand them to fit their own lives... then you have gender benders, queer identities, and so on.

In the case of transgender individuals, the issue is that their internal sense of self doesn't align with their biological sex. They express this through changes in their gender identity, even though by undergoing a transition, they would effectively adopt the gender identity that corresponds to their new physical state.

Wait, so you're saying biological identity is just sex and always matches it?

But couldn't you make the same argument for trans people regarding gender roles, rather than saying it's about their biological sex?

Megan Nguyen22 said:Gender identity? Absolutely, I'm on board with that; but gender itself is a much more complicated question 😉 (since we tend to view gender roles and social constructs as things shaped by society, whereas biological sex is rooted in our physical reality).

Man, please. This whole distinction between gender and sex is such a joke. Calling gender roles "social constructs" or "culturally conditioned"? Total nonsense. Most of those roles are driven by biology, and everything else is just society reacting to those biological realities based on its own weird dynamics.

As far as I know, we still don't even fully understand the causes behind homosexuality, transsexuality, or being transgender, so... who actually knows?

But honestly, all these feminist theories regarding gender versus sex are just laughable.

Sure, biological sex is always constant—that’s never really up for debate. With transgender individuals, the situation is essentially the inverse; their gender identity aligns with being a woman or a man, and they express that through clothing, speech, and other social cues, even though their biological sex doesn't match.

Transgenderism can be met with a diagnosis and, as a phenomenon, it exists within medical science—though I'm not entirely sure of the specific clinical terminology used today. These individuals undergo a transition process that isn't some overnight transformation; it's a prolonged, steady journey of living consistently in a gender identity that, in this case, matches their internal sense of self. This involves everything from hormone replacement therapy to the final stages, such as gender-affirming surgeries.

It's also crucial to understand that these identities aren't contradictory; rather, they are complementary. Every person is simply striving for wholeness—trying to live out the image that feels most authentic to them. That's why you can't solve the issue just by tweaking one aspect of gender identity; it requires a holistic adjustment across all levels of one's life.

Drew Lee7 said:Man, please. This whole distinction between gender and sex is such a joke. Calling gender roles "social constructs" or "culturally conditioned"? Total nonsense. Most of those roles are driven by biology, and everything else is just society reacting to those biological realities based on its own weird dynamics.

As far as I know, we still don't even fully understand the causes behind homosexuality, transsexuality, or being transgender, so... who actually knows?

But honestly, all these feminist theories regarding gender versus sex are just laughable.

Look, you clearly disagree, but I haven't seen a single substantive argument to back up your claims. You might want to actually put in the work and study the subject before parachuting into a debate like this. Just because you find something "laughable" doesn't make it an argument for or against the point being made. 🤷

Take, for instance, those pop icons currently causing a stir; they've sparked massive drama precisely because they challenge the traditional masculine archetype. That serves as a simple, glaring piece of evidence for the existence of gender identities.

The reality is that there are specific societal expectations and assumptions imposed upon both men and women. In the past, these norms were accepted as if they were inherent to nature, but over the last few decades, those lines have become increasingly blurred.

For example, Castells argues that this shift is a direct result of the evolving global market and the opening of job sectors where rigid, strictly defined gender roles are no longer a functional necessity.

Drew Lee7 said:Man, please. This whole distinction between gender and sex is such a joke. Calling gender roles "social constructs" or "culturally conditioned"? Total nonsense. Most of those roles are driven by biology, and everything else is just society reacting to those biological realities based on its own weird dynamics.

As far as I know, we still don't even fully understand the causes behind homosexuality, transsexuality, or being transgender, so... who actually knows?

But honestly, all these feminist theories regarding gender versus sex are just laughable.

I don't feel like wearing makeup is biologically driven, but I do it because it's what other girls do. It's the same way choosing to wear jeans or a skirt isn't something built into our DNA.

Look, I know exactly what I'm talking about here. I've been listening to this same tired script for over 15 years now—all these fake divisions being pushed by the LGBT crowd. But let’s be real, this isn't about mental health. Let's just set aside the whole homosexual, bisexual, transgender, and transsexual thing for a second.

Sex is male or female, and it's determined by your anatomy. 😂

"Gender," on the other hand, is supposedly some imposed social role. Give me a break. Gender is mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, great-grandma, great-grandpa, and so on and so forth.

And sure, gender roles—the stuff men and women actually do—might shift depending on the era or where you live, but those roles are always rooted in biology, which then gets shaped by social dynamics.

Seriously, what even is "gender identity"? The LGBT population doesn't have an issue with gender; they have an issue with biological sex, since in most cases, it's just about having a sexual drive toward the same sex. They'll tell you being a construction worker is a "gendered role"—yeah, right. Since when does anything stop a young woman from being a builder today?

Biological identities evolve as society progresses. As technology advances, jobs that were traditionally held by men become accessible to women. As social circumstances change—like how fewer people are working manual labor in the fields—jobs once seen as "women's work" can be taken up by men, like childcare or housework.

But trying to invent some pointless distinction between gender and sex because of that? That’s just plain stupid.

George Morris2, wearing makeup is absolutely biologically driven. It didn't just appear out of thin air. Women wear makeup to appeal to men—basically to attract as many potential partners as possible—which is driven by basic sexual instinct.

I’ve already laid out my thoughts on what gender identity actually entails in my previous posts. If you're looking for a deeper dive, you can always go do some reading online. ☕

It seems you’re conflating gender roles with gender identity. That’s a fundamental misunderstanding, though it technically doesn't matter in cases where biological sex aligns perfectly with identity—like a cisgender man.

Furthermore, sexual orientation isn't an issue of gender identity; being gay simply means men love men, or women love women. You’ve managed to mix up 🤷
completely.
🤷 You’re essentially contradicting yourself here. You seem to admit that at one point in history, it was socially unacceptable for a woman to be a construction worker, yet you simultaneously deny the existence of gender roles and identities? It sounds to me like your only logic is based on 😕 biology.

While it’s certainly commendable that societal norms are evolving, the reality remains that these roles and expectations exist, and they impact people's lives—often for the worse. Just look at parts of the Middle East; you don't see men wearing burqas.

And regarding your argument about the term being unnecessary: quite the opposite is true. In the context of transgender individuals, this concept is essential for explaining the phenomenon and shedding light on the process. Even if you argue that "gender identity" is a term primarily used within transgender discourse, its existence remains entirely justified.

George Morris2 said:The whole transgender situation confuses me. For instance, a man who wants to transition usually expresses that identity by wearing women's clothing, applying makeup, maybe trying to mimic female body language, and taking an interest in stereotypically feminine things.

What's confusing about all of this is that makeup, fashion, and much of that behavior are culturally conditioned. Just like how culture dictates that women make the salad at a backyard BBQ while the guy handles the grill. 🙂
Female movement differs from male movement because women have different hip structures and less muscle mass; when a man tries too hard to imitate those movements, it looks awkward and, as people often say, gay.

Some biological differences that come to mind are that a woman can become a mother, can engage in vaginal intercourse, and is generally physically weaker, which might make her less prone to resolving conflicts through violence.

Of course, I know there are neurological differences too. Even though I'm a woman, I have a "male brain"—meaning I'm better at spatial awareness, math, logic, and technical stuff. I'm not particularly interested in interpersonal drama or social circles, but those traits don't make me feel like a man; they just lead society to label me as tomboyish because I played with trucks as a kid. But again, that's culturally conditioned.

So, looking at the big picture, I don't quite get what's happening with trans people. It seems to me like they define their gender identity based on culture. A man who identifies as a woman wants to wear skirts, wear makeup, and read Cosmopolitan—he wants things shaped by culture rather than, say, wanting to be a mother.

Wouldn't it be simpler to just identify as a man who likes to dress up, rather than being a trans person trying to change your sex?

Then again, I remember feeling like a boy when I was a child simply because I preferred playing with boys' toys. 😁 If I had grown up in a more conservative town where there was heavy resistance to that, I probably would have been even more convinced that I was a boy in a girl's body.

I understand that sexual attraction to a specific gender exists regardless of culture, and that there are "male and female brains," but is gender identity itself independent of culture? Or do we build it based on our reflection in the mirror, sexual attraction, and our interests—essentially the culture we live in because society expects us to act according to our sex?

It seems to me that the fundamental biological distinction between men and women lies in our hormones, which shape us into the individuals we are—they are simply different. It is entirely possible that transgender individuals experience a genuine state of hormonal chaos, which ultimately leads to significant internal confusion.

I recall watching a television program once regarding an individual (who later identified as a 😁) who possessed all the physiological traits of a male, yet from early childhood, despite those physical characteristics, behaved like a young girl. This behavior became even more pronounced during puberty when they began pursuing boys, believing themselves to be a social outcast. By sheer coincidence, it was discovered during adolescence that they actually possessed a uterus, which clarified the entire situation. They underwent surgery and even experienced pregnancy. At the time that program was filmed, she appeared entirely as a woman; perhaps her facial features were slightly more defined, but there was no doubt about her femininity.

Drew Lee7 said:Man, please. This whole distinction between gender and sex is such a joke. Calling gender roles "social constructs" or "culturally conditioned"? Total nonsense. Most of those roles are driven by biology, and everything else is just society reacting to those biological realities based on its own weird dynamics.

As far as I know, we still don't even fully understand the causes behind homosexuality, transsexuality, or being transgender, so... who actually knows?

But honestly, all these feminist theories regarding gender versus sex are just laughable.

That is hardly nonsense or feminist bluster; these are legitimate theories established by cultural and anthropological scholars.

It is an undeniable fact that fundamental biological differences influence gender roles, yet within specific cultures, eras, and circumstances, those roles can vary, whereas sex-based roles remain immutable.

Allow me to illustrate. The gender role of a man involves performing strenuous labor in the fields—which stems from the era when horticulture and agronomy first emerged, where a pregnant woman might manage solely with a hoe while the man handled the plow regardless of the epoch—and this dominance of male physical strength pushed women away from heavy agricultural tasks (an evolution that contributed to the development of patriarchy). Yet, during times of war, when men are deployed, women must step into that masculine role. This is a gender role imposed by biology but accepted by society. Thus, we see clearly how a gender role can shift from one sex to another.

Conversely, a sex-based role is unconditional; a woman can give birth, whereas a man cannot. A man cannot serve as the carrier, the birther, or the lactating parent; that is a female sex role, and it is not transferable to a man.

Do you perceive the distinction between gender and sex roles now? They are entirely real phenomena, and they are partially determined by biology. 🙂

Eric Anderson7 said:In this specific case, you can see how much biology really calls the shots. At least, that's how it looks to me. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Reimer

A book has even been written about him. John Colapinto: "How nature sculpted him"I have been attempting to carve out some time for this for quite a while now, though it seems to evade me regardless of my efforts; I must admit, my curiosity is truly piqued.

Interesting thread. Humans are just transient organic beings with an expiration date. Reproduction is part of the deal. We evolved as complex multicellular organisms with long development periods to ensure genetic diversity, which led to the emergence of males way before vertebrates or mammals even existed... The ultimate game is fighting extinction through offspring. In a sense, that’s every human's primary directive. It's how we survive even after we're gone. That’s why picking a partner is everything. So much depends on who you choose...

How do women actually pick their guys? They need someone bold, confident, ambitious, funny, and just the right amount of cocky... To put it another way, my coworker—who’s incredibly smart and driven—told me her man has to be an active force, someone who actually knows what he wants out of life. He needs to be like a massive oak tree; she wants to be the one being swept off her feet, so he provides that steady shade while drawing strength from deep roots...

How do guys actually pick their partners? Sure, personality matters, but let's be real—it usually starts with looks. It’s simple biology; they can fertilize a lot of women in a short window, so they take their chances... Plus, there's that constant drive to compete, to test themselves against other men, and that innate respect for a hierarchy with one guy at the top...

For most women, marriage usually takes precedence over their career, mostly because they expect their partner to be the one providing the resources for the family...

For a guy, his career carries just as much weight as his marriage... a major setback at work is hard to make up for with "satisfaction" at home...

This stuff isn't taught in school. It’s not even about culture... it’s just baked into who we are...

At the end of the day, we're all descendants of both sexes, so everyone carries a mix of traits to some degree. But usually, most women lean into those traditional feminine roles in public, and most men stick to the masculine ones. It makes you think that the whole concept of "gender" is mostly built around a small minority... since the vast majority of people are pretty settled in an identity that aligns with social expectations and their own basic instincts—it's not like they just fell from Venus or Mars or anything... which basically means the majority ends up trying to fit themselves into the criteria set by the minority.

Sure, a lot of stuff is just cultural conditioning. Like, why is pink even considered a girl's color? But the truth is, plenty of things aren't—especially the fundamental stuff that actually defines us, like how aggressive or competitive we are, or our core values...

A few years back, there was this story about a boy in Canada born with some physical complications. They ended up surgically removing his penis and "constructing" a vagina instead. Since he was so young, they raised him strictly as a girl—all the usual stereotypes, playing with dolls, wearing pink dresses, being told not to fight because "girls don't do that"... You'd think there would be resistance, right? Even though he felt something was deeply wrong during puberty, he still went along with the identity forced on him... Fast forward to today, and that young man is a broken shell of a person, struggling with severe mental health issues because he feels he was robbed of ever being able to live out his true nature...

Sex as a biological factor and gender as a social construct usually line up. Honestly, it feels like "gender" is just a term cooked up to be politically correct about people who have traits from the other sex. I'm not talking about little kids playing with trucks, but more about the roles played during the actual mating process, which leads to real differences later on when it comes to things like raising kids...

Feminists can deny it all they want, but they’re basically just trying to override biology with social trends. At the end of the day, beneath all our modern civilization, the human brain is still wired like some ancient hunter-gatherer... Seeing how many young, college-educated women I run into daily, it's pretty clear I'm not the one who's out of touch...

Drew Lee7 said:Man, please. This whole distinction between gender and sex is such a joke. Calling gender roles "social constructs" or "culturally conditioned"? Total nonsense. Most of those roles are driven by biology, and everything else is just society reacting to those biological realities based on its own weird dynamics.

As far as I know, we still don't even fully understand the causes behind homosexuality, transsexuality, or being transgender, so... who actually knows?

But honestly, all these feminist theories regarding gender versus sex are just laughable.

You're mixing up sex and gender. Sex is determined at birth, whereas gender is more about individual psychology and sociology. Sex is "I am female, I have female reproductive organs, and I produce female hormones," while gender is "I feel female," "I present as female," or "I embrace my femininity." It makes perfect sense. That’s why a transsexual person might be biologically male but identifies with a female gender. While biological sex isn't a socially constructed category, gender definitely is—it's been debated for ages, and more importantly, it's been manipulated by politics and marketing for a very long time.

Drew Lee7 said:Look, I know exactly what I'm talking about here. I've been listening to this same tired script for over 15 years now—all these fake divisions being pushed by the LGBT crowd. But let’s be real, this isn't about mental health. Let's just set aside the whole homosexual, bisexual, transgender, and transsexual thing for a second.

Sex is male or female, and it's determined by your anatomy. 😂

"Gender," on the other hand, is supposedly some imposed social role. Give me a break. Gender is mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, great-grandma, great-grandpa, and so on and so forth.

And sure, gender roles—the stuff men and women actually do—might shift depending on the era or where you live, but those roles are always rooted in biology, which then gets shaped by social dynamics.

Seriously, what even is "gender identity"? The LGBT population doesn't have an issue with gender; they have an issue with biological sex, since in most cases, it's just about having a sexual drive toward the same sex. They'll tell you being a construction worker is a "gendered role"—yeah, right. Since when does anything stop a young woman from being a builder today?

Biological identities evolve as society progresses. As technology advances, jobs that were traditionally held by men become accessible to women. As social circumstances change—like how fewer people are working manual labor in the fields—jobs once seen as "women's work" can be taken up by men, like childcare or housework.

But trying to invent some pointless distinction between gender and sex because of that? That’s just plain stupid.

George Morris2, wearing makeup is absolutely biologically driven. It didn't just appear out of thin air. Women wear makeup to appeal to men—basically to attract as many potential partners as possible—which is driven by basic sexual instinct.

🤦 And you'd just let all those groups slide? How? You'd basically say: if you don't fit into the heterosexual matrix, then get lost, and you don't even have a sexual orientation? Or are you just male, female, or nothing at all? You've lumped everything together and insulted homosexuals and lesbians in the process. To make it simple: there's social sex and biological sex. You're born with the biological one, and you acquire the social one. Now there's this mountain of theories regarding gender identity configuration, starting with Freud himself, who primarily looked at sexual identification through the Eipov complex. Gender identity exists in a psychological sense through identification with one side; if that weren't true, we'd still be treating homosexuals like they were mentally ill.

goldenpuma84 said:Interesting thread. Humans are just transient organic beings with an expiration date. Reproduction is part of the deal. We evolved as complex multicellular organisms with long development periods to ensure genetic diversity, which led to the emergence of males way before vertebrates or mammals even existed... The ultimate game is fighting extinction through offspring. In a sense, that’s every human's primary directive. It's how we survive even after we're gone. That’s why picking a partner is everything. So much depends on who you choose...

How do women actually pick their guys? They need someone bold, confident, ambitious, funny, and just the right amount of cocky... To put it another way, my coworker—who’s incredibly smart and driven—told me her man has to be an active force, someone who actually knows what he wants out of life. He needs to be like a massive oak tree; she wants to be the one being swept off her feet, so he provides that steady shade while drawing strength from deep roots...

How do guys actually pick their partners? Sure, personality matters, but let's be real—it usually starts with looks. It’s simple biology; they can fertilize a lot of women in a short window, so they take their chances... Plus, there's that constant drive to compete, to test themselves against other men, and that innate respect for a hierarchy with one guy at the top...

For most women, marriage usually takes precedence over their career, mostly because they expect their partner to be the one providing the resources for the family...

For a guy, his career carries just as much weight as his marriage... a major setback at work is hard to make up for with "satisfaction" at home...

This stuff isn't taught in school. It’s not even about culture... it’s just baked into who we are...

At the end of the day, we're all descendants of both sexes, so everyone carries a mix of traits to some degree. But usually, most women lean into those traditional feminine roles in public, and most men stick to the masculine ones. It makes you think that the whole concept of "gender" is mostly built around a small minority... since the vast majority of people are pretty settled in an identity that aligns with social expectations and their own basic instincts—it's not like they just fell from Venus or Mars or anything... which basically means the majority ends up trying to fit themselves into the criteria set by the minority.

Sure, a lot of stuff is just cultural conditioning. Like, why is pink even considered a girl's color? But the truth is, plenty of things aren't—especially the fundamental stuff that actually defines us, like how aggressive or competitive we are, or our core values...

A few years back, there was this story about a boy in Canada born with some physical complications. They ended up surgically removing his penis and "constructing" a vagina instead. Since he was so young, they raised him strictly as a girl—all the usual stereotypes, playing with dolls, wearing pink dresses, being told not to fight because "girls don't do that"... You'd think there would be resistance, right? Even though he felt something was deeply wrong during puberty, he still went along with the identity forced on him... Fast forward to today, and that young man is a broken shell of a person, struggling with severe mental health issues because he feels he was robbed of ever being able to live out his true nature...

Sex as a biological factor and gender as a social construct usually line up. Honestly, it feels like "gender" is just a term cooked up to be politically correct about people who have traits from the other sex. I'm not talking about little kids playing with trucks, but more about the roles played during the actual mating process, which leads to real differences later on when it comes to things like raising kids...

Feminists can deny it all they want, but they’re basically just trying to override biology with social trends. At the end of the day, beneath all our modern civilization, the human brain is still wired like some ancient hunter-gatherer... Seeing how many young, college-educated women I run into daily, it's pretty clear I'm not the one who's out of touch...

I wouldn't be so quick to make sweeping claims like that. Looking at people and the world around me, I haven't really seen massive variations in those "facts" based on gender. It feels more like certain groups just have different "modes." Let me complicate things a bit—I'm male (biologically speaking), identify as a man, and I'm straight, yet my default mode is pretty "feminine"—non-aggressive, passive, indirect, and super focused on emotional harmony. That said, I switch to the "male" mode whenever it makes sense—you know, situational awareness. So, how do you explain my passivity given my testosterone levels (which are pretty obvious from my physique)? I think things are a little more nuanced than what you're suggesting. But hey, just my two cents. 😉

@ Dany, I just wanted to touch on your point briefly, without getting bogged down in quoting or dissecting every single line.

Gender itself isn't tied to the biological, instinctual drive to reproduce. 🤷 To me, it’s a logical fallacy to generalize about what people find attractive and then use that as "proof" of how someone experiences their gender. In my view, those kinds of sweeping generalizations are exactly what keep outdated heteronormative standards alive and kicking.

Now, I’m not suggesting that femininity or masculinity don't exist, nor am I saying there aren't differences between men and women. Honestly, that shouldn't even be up for debate.

My point is simply that life isn't binary. It’s reductive, narrow-minded, and ultimately a waste of energy to view everyone through the lens of a strictly heteronormative assumption.

In discussions like this, there’s always this tendency to force a duality—this "us versus them" philosophical standoff. But it shouldn't work that way. People should have the agency to build their own identities based on what feels right to them, so that eventually, masculinity and femininity can exist as complementary parts of a single, whole person, regardless of how that looks in practice.