I can't believe "Nikom" anymore...

Bradley Gonzalez4 said:you're going to ruin the friendship.[/[/B]QUOTE]

I don't see why you'd kill a friendship if you're lending to someone you actually trust to pay you back 🤷

unless you'd rather just sit there watching a friend struggle to eat or something like that... 🤷

Everyone posting above and below you is sharing stories about lending money to friends they "know will pay them back" (because let's face it, nobody lends cash if they think it's gone for good), just so they don't have to watch a friend go hungry. ☕

No one is telling you that you can't be stingy with your cash if you want to be. 🤷

It’s been quite a while since we’ve had such a colorful topic on the board. Honestly, I don't see much of a way forward other than just asking her to pay you back whenever she's able. Given $300, nobody has actually gone broke yet—and look, you did a good thing here, maybe even truly helped out her kids, so perhaps the best move is just to wait. You might even try inviting her out for coffee to see if you can smooth things over regarding your relationship and this whole mess (including the trouble it's caused you). I suppose I wonder if there was anything significant between you two before the whole optical mouse and translation situation—did she ever help you out or treat you fairly in other ways? I assume she did, especially back when you trusted her enough to lend money. Or... was there an unspoken expectation that this loan was more of a stake in something?

You set the bar way too high for someone you just lent money to $300 and honestly, she probably expected even more from you.
I guess she moved on to some bigger philanthropist. It makes me wonder if people like that focus all their energy on one person or if they’re playing the field with multiple targets at once.
Maybe they can only really prep themselves for one person at a time, who knows?
Sadly, I haven't run into anyone like that yet—probably because my bank account isn't exactly overflowing.🙂

Chloe Booth72 said:Trusting people? Yes—but it depends on the topic and the context.
I generally start by trusting people (meaning I go in at nearly 100%, though that trust tends to plummet toward zero the second I have a reason to doubt), but when an acquaintance (like in the OP's example) asks to borrow money, my trust hits rock bottom immediately. 😁

Here’s why. It isn't even about the cash; screw a few hundred bucks if someone is truly in a bind. The real issue is: why did they ask *me*?
If an acquaintance (someone I haven't even seen in ten years) reaches out asking for money, it means they’ve run out of options. They’ve likely already tapped out their family and all their close friends, so now they’re moving down the list to casual acquaintances. 😠

I actually know her parents and I know what they're going through right now, so they weren't in a position to help her at that moment. As for how many relatives or other connections she has, I have no idea.

jadetinker85 said:Why didn't you reach out to his parents and demand the money back?

Her parents know I lent her the money. They were actually at her apartment when I was there visiting, and she just said:

She'll pay it back when she can, and then...

Look, I know things aren't easy for her. Three kids in a small two-bedroom apartment...

But it's not about the money for me right now, $300 even though the extra cash wouldn't hurt. It's more about the fact that she doesn't seem to value the person helping her, especially since I'm just asking for one tiny favor in return.

David Gomez3 said:There’s an old saying that if you hand someone twenty bucks and never have to see their face again, you actually got a pretty good deal. 🤔 😬

Look, $333 it isn't exactly pocket change 😢 and honestly, I think you got played. It’s frustrating, I know. Maybe try asking her point-blank what the actual issue is; if she can't give you a straight answer or some tangible results, then you already know where you stand. Personally, I’m not even losing sleep over the cash itself—it’s more about the principle. It’s situations like this that force people who genuinely want to help to just close their doors and stop trying altogether. 😢

I was wondering, what kind of behavior are we talking about when you run into her at the entrance or wherever? I don't really go over to her place anymore—I'd love to figure out what the actual issue is.

Kevin Rivera61 said:Her parents are fully aware that I lent her the money since they were right there at her place while I was visiting, so she just told me

She'll pay me back when she's able to, and when...

I realize things aren't easy for her raising three kids in a small three-bedroom apartment... but

It’s not even about the cash $267 even though I could certainly use it right now; it's more about whether she actually appreciates the help or if she's just choosing to ignore the fact that I'm asking for a tiny favor in return.

That bolded part really caught my eye—if she's struggling so much financially, why does she feel the need to maintain a three-bedroom place?

Lisa Hernandez3 said:It’s been quite a while since we’ve had such a colorful topic on the board. Honestly, I don't see much of a way forward other than just asking her to pay you back whenever she's able. Given $300, nobody has actually gone broke yet—and look, you did a good thing here, maybe even truly helped out her kids, so perhaps the best move is just to wait. You might even try inviting her out for coffee to see if you can smooth things over regarding your relationship and this whole mess (including the trouble it's caused you). I suppose I wonder if there was anything significant between you two before the whole optical mouse and translation situation—did she ever help you out or treat you fairly in other ways? I assume she did, especially back when you trusted her enough to lend money. Or... was there an unspoken expectation that this loan was more of a stake in something?

Exactly. I helped her, I just feel bad that she couldn't do me this one little favor. I wasn't asking for anything impossible.

She’ll return the money when she can—things aren't easy for her right now.

She’s been perfectly fine with me in the past.

Of course we’re going to sit down and talk about what the issue is and why she isn't responding.

Still... we’re neighbors now, living window-to-window. It's unbelievable that she could act this way toward me.

Jack Gomez19 said:That bolded part really caught my eye—if she's struggling so much financially, why does she feel the need to maintain a three-bedroom place?

That's how it went. When she was looking for a new place, some were already taken, and others had much higher rent plus utilities. She didn't have many options, otherwise she would've ended up on the street with her kids.
The Boss of her previous apartment left her with debts, so she had to move out.

I’m honestly a bit confused by all of this...
To be fair, I don't get why people you aren't even close with have such nerve asking to borrow money, but what exactly are you expected to provide for them?😕

Honestly, OP, you should just take being ignored as a blessing and move on from someone like that as fast as possible...
This person sounds completely irresponsible, constantly running up debts, and they've got this vague situation involving a husband they won't even talk about, which makes it feel like you just happened to cross their path right when they were looking for a way to indulge themselves, while you're sitting there with your protective and savior instincts kicking in, which is a pretty tricky headspace to be in, so you might be better off putting that energy into people who actually know how to value it...😉

I could easily just ignore her, but there's one little problem: I walk right past "her" door every single day.
"Her door is literally right before mine."
Since the last time I asked her for that tiny favor, we haven't actually crossed paths yet.

Kevin Rivera61 said:I could easily just ignore her, but there's one little problem: I walk right past "her" door every single day.
"Her door is literally right before mine."
Since the last time I asked her for that tiny favor, we haven't actually crossed paths yet.

It’s probably for the best that you didn't run into her.
She’s really just using you, so try to stay level-headed and when she inevitably shows up next time to ask for money or something similar, don't give in—just tell her you're completely broke...

I’m pretty sure things were bound to go down that way anyway, regardless of my neighbor being totally ticked off at me right now

Just let that $300 guy go. You can't trust her—it's really that simple. 😉

James Diaz59 said:Look, honestly... I don't think you should trust your own judgment right now, but feel free to believe that coworker if you want. 😁

Want me to translate that for you? She’s cunning and knows how to play the game—meanwhile, you're just being a naive sucker who got played perfectly. She keeps trying to tell you exactly what's going on, but you're too dense to see through it.

And now you're actually asking for help on her behalf... hoping SHE understands???!!! 😲 😂🤣

Whatever, man. Just hit us up once you get your money back! 🥳 🤣

PS. The whole thing smells fishy to me—honestly, this "foreign country" might just be some small town in Ohio. 😁 (Please, just don't reply telling me that a small town in Ohio isn't abroad! 🙂)

Don't be ridiculous. She's smart enough and resourceful enough to have three kids to provide for, and since she can barely make ends meet, she has to go around begging for cash in their name—embarrassing them along with herself instead of just taking the hit alone. That's just what happens when you're dealing with pure desperation and poverty.

As for him, my advice is simple: if you lend someone money, get it in writing, and if you decide to give something away, do it with the expectation that you'll never see it again.

And this idea of expecting respect or appreciation... well, love isn't a commodity you can trade or buy. You can't force someone to value you, even if you bought them a house or a condo, let alone just lent them some cash.