How do you deal with boomers attacking you on a forum?

I've been watching this weird pattern pop up on various message boards over the years, especially those smaller communities where people act like they actually know each other in real life... It’s this specific phenomenon where older women get incredibly jealous of younger ones. They start hurling insults like "clueless" or "airheads" just because the younger girls are more naive—which doesn't mean they aren't smart, most are just college students. You rarely see this in the real world because people don't have the guts to say that stuff to someone's face unless there's an actual argument involved.

The absolute worst version of this is when women who haven't posted in ages suddenly resurface just to lash out at a younger woman for no reason at all. Then they act totally shocked when someone reacts, and if the target is sensitive, it just turns into a massive flame war. Usually, these are women who think they're "intellectuals," but honestly, acting like this just proves how petty and insecure they really are.

Have you guys run into this on forums? And what should younger girls do when they're targeted, especially since this is all happening in some virtual space that shouldn't even matter compared to real-life problems? Does this specific trend even have a name? We should probably name this recurring Democratic Party trend, since it's basically non-existent in reality, but thrives among online cowards...

So, is it better to just walk away and ignore it when someone starts calling you names? Is being indifferent the best move, even when a whole pack of older women decides to gang up on one person?

I just hope that as I get older, I never sink to that level of attacking young students online. I truly hope so, because I’d hate to be called an old hag, though I guess I’d be asking for it if I were the one doing the attacking. It's just the natural order of things—new generations come along, and it's not their fault if the older crowd is dealing with failed marriages, failed ambitions, or just a generally failed life...

bluewalker33 said:I've been watching this weird pattern pop up on various message boards over the years, especially those smaller communities where people act like they actually know each other in real life... It’s this specific phenomenon where older women get incredibly jealous of younger ones. They start hurling insults like "clueless" or "airheads" just because the younger girls are more naive—which doesn't mean they aren't smart, most are just college students. You rarely see this in the real world because people don't have the guts to say that stuff to someone's face unless there's an actual argument involved.

The absolute worst version of this is when women who haven't posted in ages suddenly resurface just to lash out at a younger woman for no reason at all. Then they act totally shocked when someone reacts, and if the target is sensitive, it just turns into a massive flame war. Usually, these are women who think they're "intellectuals," but honestly, acting like this just proves how petty and insecure they really are.

Have you guys run into this on forums? And what should younger girls do when they're targeted, especially since this is all happening in some virtual space that shouldn't even matter compared to real-life problems? Does this specific trend even have a name? We should probably name this recurring Democratic Party trend, since it's basically non-existent in reality, but thrives among online cowards...

So, is it better to just walk away and ignore it when someone starts calling you names? Is being indifferent the best move, even when a whole pack of older women decides to gang up on one person?

I just hope that as I get older, I never sink to that level of attacking young students online. I truly hope so, because I’d hate to be called an old hag, though I guess I’d be asking for it if I were the one doing the attacking. It's just the natural order of things—new generations come along, and it's not their fault if the older crowd is dealing with failed marriages, failed ambitions, or just a generally failed life...

report them to the moderators.

I haven't been in that exact spot, but I guess the best way to react to any kind of attack on a forum is simple: ignore it and report it to the mods.

Ignoring them is a powerful tool on a forum. Trolls and provocateurs basically feed on angry reactions to their stupidity. If they hit a wall of silence, they usually get bored and go find somewhere else to be miserable.

Jerry Martinez5, this place works because the mods actually keep things tight and scrub the petty arguments. Sometimes they even let things slide without docking points if someone just owns up to their mistake—unlike those chaotic little corner forums where anything goes. That’s exactly why those places are such a mess. This site stays civilized because there's actual oversight, and honestly, that’s how it should be. Someone decided to take my pretty mild headline and turn it into something aggressive for some reason... 🙂

I changed the title because I thought it fit the content better. When I saw the old one, I honestly thought some woman going through menopause had wandered in here looking for advice 😉

Maybe you could suggest a different title? It can be changed again

It’s pretty ugly when these forums aren't moderated and anyone can just attack anyone else. Especially if you get swarmed by a whole pack of them. But I guess you aren't alone there? It helps a lot if you have your own social circle—that way, when someone comes for you, others step up to defend you. You look out for each other

But if that forum isn't moderated, isn't it enough that you can just snap back at her? She calls you a chicken, you call her an old lady 🙂

Honestly, the best move is to just walk away from that kind of environment. Even on this Forum, I don't post everywhere; the vibe isn't the same in every corner

It really all comes down to how the moderators handle things. If they let people play a little rougher in those groups, then I guess you might as well go all out. Just call them out by name and don't let anyone push you around.😉👍

...I honestly thought this forum was actually meant for discussion.😕

☕

WE ARE JUST OLD BAGGAGE; RESISTING IS A TOTAL WASTE OF TIME

Walter Lewis5 said:...I honestly thought this forum was actually meant for discussion.😕

☕

Insulting younger people??

Not really OT
but look, there are definitely times when younger girls just shut down any advice from older women, or they take every bit of constructive criticism as some kind of jealous attack..

Look, you've got those narcissistic young women who think they’re the center of the universe and act all tough, but I'm talking about people attacking out of nowhere without any actual logic or advice... Then again, some callouts are earned, even if you really shouldn't engage at all. Just stay away from anyone who seems shady, unproven, or just a narcissist who thinks you're attacking them out of jealousy. I've seen it happen myself...

Brandon Lopez6 said:Insulting younger people??

Not really OT
but look, there are definitely times when younger girls just shut down any advice from older women, or they take every bit of constructive criticism as some kind of jealous attack..

Heh... that was sarcasm. I’m not really about insulting people, but this forum gives you enough discretion to let off steam. You can vent about jealousy, ego, little cliques fighting other cliques, people acting fake, or those "know-it-alls." It's basically a microcosm of real life. Sometimes it gets pretty nasty, especially if you're a new user who doesn't know the ropes yet, but once you've been around the block and put in enough posts, you develop a thicker skin.😁

...first off, calling women going through menopause "old ladies" is just plain rude......in our culture, that’s basically a slur for any woman who isn't in her absolute prime anymore......
....secondly.... it’s just not true that every woman in menopause is obnoxious or constantly picking fights on internet forums.....
... it’s really no different than saying all Americans are aggressive bullies....or something along those lines.....which is vague, totally unfair, and just wrong......

Walter Lewis5 said:Heh... that was sarcasm. I’m not really about insulting people, but this forum gives you enough discretion to let off steam. You can vent about jealousy, ego, little cliques fighting other cliques, people acting fake, or those "know-it-alls." It's basically a microcosm of real life. Sometimes it gets pretty nasty, especially if you're a new user who doesn't know the ropes yet, but once you've been around the block and put in enough posts, you develop a thicker skin.😁

I thought about it, but then I just... whatever. 😉😉
I’m with you on that one... Honestly, I only hopped onto this forum to get away from people like that, but sometimes it feels like there's actually more of them here than anywhere else. 🙄

Rebecca Scott3 said:...first off, calling women going through menopause "old ladies" is just plain rude......in our culture, that’s basically a slur for any woman who isn't in her absolute prime anymore......
....secondly.... it’s just not true that every woman in menopause is obnoxious or constantly picking fights on internet forums.....
... it’s really no different than saying all Americans are aggressive bullies....or something along those lines.....which is vague, totally unfair, and just wrong......

Look, I’ll just say it—everyone’s getting offended lately. Seriously, even this. Everything is treated like some massive personal attack, and suddenly we’re all being labeled as "disrespectful." It happens way too often. Like, even if I actually know more about a topic than the person I’m talking to—even if they’re literally old enough to be my grandma—I can't exactly be right. Because apparently, if you don't have enough gray hair, your arguments and facts don't count for squat.

bluewalker33 said:Look, you've got those narcissistic young women who think they’re the center of the universe and act all tough, but I'm talking about people attacking out of nowhere without any actual logic or advice... Then again, some callouts are earned, even if you really shouldn't engage at all. Just stay away from anyone who seems shady, unproven, or just a narcissist who thinks you're attacking them out of jealousy. I've seen it happen myself...

Are you seriously calling them NARCISSISTIC, bluewalker33? And what does this even have to do with psychology?! This is just standard forum gossip.

Rebecca Scott3 said:...first off, calling women going through menopause "old ladies" is just plain rude......in our culture, that’s basically a slur for any woman who isn't in her absolute prime anymore......
....secondly.... it’s just not true that every woman in menopause is obnoxious or constantly picking fights on internet forums.....
... it’s really no different than saying all Americans are aggressive bullies....or something along those lines.....which is vague, totally unfair, and just wrong......

maria, nobody actually said "all women" or anything like that here. if the topic were framed that way, it would have been deleted instantly. I was the one who used the term "old ladies" in the title, since from my perspective—being someone in my 20s—anyone older is an old lady 🙂

In my experience, there are usually (though maybe not always) fewer issues on this forum with women over 30. It's like real life; the biggest headaches are often the ones still going through puberty, who struggle to accept basic internet etiquette (let alone moderator authority). But I guess that doesn't apply to every younger person, either

But the OP brought up the issue because she’s being targeted by the older women specifically because she's younger. I suppose you can be discriminated against for being young or old, or for being a blonde or a brunette

Are you really that sensitive? 😁 Honestly, if there isn't a moderator keeping things in check on those forums, I usually just send them packing back to their hometown—or, you know, I’ll just tell them I refuse to stoop to that level of conversation and hit the ignore button. It's like trying to drive through a storm without windshield wipers; it's just messy. Or, if you find yourself getting worked up by stuff like that, maybe just steer clear of the forums that don't have any moderation at all...

I'm a grown woman (32) so obviously I have a soft spot for my white kitty

There are miserable, frustrated women out there in the real world, and they show up here too. If anything, they're three times worse online because there’s zero accountability or consequences, whereas in person, they have to swallow their pride.
Just ignore them. Don't even bother trying to explain yourself; it's a waste of breath. Just ignore them and move on. If you run into one in real life, give them a slap to snap them back to reality and keep moving. 🙂It's easy to act tough behind a screen. They're all just pathetic losers—keep that in mind!

Brandon Lopez6 said:I thought about it, but then I just... whatever. 😉😉
I’m with you on that one... Honestly, I only hopped onto this forum to get away from people like that, but sometimes it feels like there's actually more of them here than anywhere else. 🙄

Look, I’ll just say it—everyone’s getting offended lately. Seriously, even this. Everything is treated like some massive personal attack, and suddenly we’re all being labeled as "disrespectful." It happens way too often. Like, even if I actually know more about a topic than the person I’m talking to—even if they’re literally old enough to be my grandma—I can't exactly be right. Because apparently, if you don't have enough gray hair, your arguments and facts don't count for squat.

I don't think it's just the older generation, either. There are plenty of younger women acting this way too, which is arguably even more concerning.😍

Honestly, the best move is to just ignore them. Though, I'll admit, getting into a heated argument once in a while can be a decent substitute for a cardio workout.😁

bluewalker33 said:I've been watching this weird pattern pop up on various message boards over the years, especially those smaller communities where people act like they actually know each other in real life... It’s this specific phenomenon where older women get incredibly jealous of younger ones. They start hurling insults like "clueless" or "airheads" just because the younger girls are more naive—which doesn't mean they aren't smart, most are just college students. You rarely see this in the real world because people don't have the guts to say that stuff to someone's face unless there's an actual argument involved.

The absolute worst version of this is when women who haven't posted in ages suddenly resurface just to lash out at a younger woman for no reason at all. Then they act totally shocked when someone reacts, and if the target is sensitive, it just turns into a massive flame war. Usually, these are women who think they're "intellectuals," but honestly, acting like this just proves how petty and insecure they really are.

Have you guys run into this on forums? And what should younger girls do when they're targeted, especially since this is all happening in some virtual space that shouldn't even matter compared to real-life problems? Does this specific trend even have a name? We should probably name this recurring Democratic Party trend, since it's basically non-existent in reality, but thrives among online cowards...

So, is it better to just walk away and ignore it when someone starts calling you names? Is being indifferent the best move, even when a whole pack of older women decides to gang up on one person?

I just hope that as I get older, I never sink to that level of attacking young students online. I truly hope so, because I’d hate to be called an old hag, though I guess I’d be asking for it if I were the one doing the attacking. It's just the natural order of things—new generations come along, and it's not their fault if the older crowd is dealing with failed marriages, failed ambitions, or just a generally failed life...

So, looks like we drifted into the women's corner. 😉 😁

It’s exactly what the fairy mentioned. Just ignore them and hit the report button at the end of the post.

Trust me, I know how hard it is to keep your cool when a bunch of monkeys start throwing provocations your way (consider this my shout-out to them👋), but honestly? Ignoring them is the best move. That’s what gets under their skin the most.
And of course, report them. I’m a moderator myself, so believe me, I know how exhausting it is when some toxic infection starts spreading through a subforum and you have to babysit it. There is nothing more soul-crushing in moderation than having to track down who said what, to whom, why, when, and who responded to what... it's a total drain.🤦

placidjackal36 said:So, looks like we drifted into the women's corner. 😉 😁

It’s exactly what the fairy mentioned. Just ignore them and hit the report button at the end of the post.

Trust me, I know how hard it is to keep your cool when a bunch of monkeys start throwing provocations your way (consider this my shout-out to them👋), but honestly? Ignoring them is the best move. That’s what gets under their skin the most.
And of course, report them. I’m a moderator myself, so believe me, I know how exhausting it is when some toxic infection starts spreading through a subforum and you have to babysit it. There is nothing more soul-crushing in moderation than having to track down who said what, to whom, why, when, and who responded to what... it's a total drain.🤦

Maybe we ought to implement some sort of danger rating system for certain subforums... you know, like a color code? Blue, green, red, black... 🤣 Something to flag content that might be hazardous to your mental health or something similar. 😍