How to deal with hypocrites?

How do we set boundaries and stop their hypocrisy from cutting us deep?

David Sanchez8 said:How do we set boundaries and stop their hypocrisy from cutting us deep?

Could you elaborate? In what way can someone's duplicity actually cause us harm? 😕 🤷

Once you spot someone's "other face," you realize everything before that was just a lie. That’s when you need a strategy: highlight the whole mess, right-click, and hit "move to trash." 😈

You could even take a more methodical approach. Go through things one by one, view them in this new light, and click delete. Just keep going until everything is cleared out.

lonegardener said:Could you elaborate? In what way can someone's duplicity actually cause us harm? 😕 🤷

Once you spot someone's "other face," you realize everything before that was just a lie. That’s when you need a strategy: highlight the whole mess, right-click, and hit "move to trash." 😈

You could even take a more methodical approach. Go through things one by one, view them in this new light, and click delete. Just keep going until everything is cleared out.

Think about it like this: someone acts like your best friend, won't say a single harsh word to your face, but then turns around and stabs you in the back.

David Sanchez8 said:Think about it like this: someone acts like your best friend, won't say a single harsh word to your face, but then turns around and stabs you in the back.

It sounds like you might have a different definition of what a "friend" actually is.

That guy isn't a friend of yours at all. Honestly, I’d much rather deal with an outright enemy than someone playing that kind of game.🤷

Edit: That said, before jumping to conclusions, it might be worth checking if this was just a massive misunderstanding. Are you absolutely certain they stabbed you in the back? If you're talking about a lack of courage for a face-to-face talk, then why don't you take the lead? Confront them with the fact that they betrayed you and give them a chance to explain themselves—if they even can or want to.

If they won't or can't, then screw it. They aren't your friend. Just click delete and move on.

lonegardener said:It sounds like you might have a different definition of what a "friend" actually is.

That guy isn't a friend of yours at all. Honestly, I’d much rather deal with an outright enemy than someone playing that kind of game.🤷

Edit: That said, before jumping to conclusions, it might be worth checking if this was just a massive misunderstanding. Are you absolutely certain they stabbed you in the back? If you're talking about a lack of courage for a face-to-face talk, then why don't you take the lead? Confront them with the fact that they betrayed you and give them a chance to explain themselves—if they even can or want to.

If they won't or can't, then screw it. They aren't your friend. Just click delete and move on.

Agreed. But sometimes they play the part so well it's nearly impossible to see through the mask. You don't realize who they are until they twist the knife when your back is turned.

So, how do you deal with them?

David Sanchez8 said:Agreed. But sometimes they play the part so well it's nearly impossible to see through the mask. You don't realize who they are until they twist the knife when your back is turned.

So, how do you deal with them?

Well, you can't really prepare for it beforehand, but you can certainly control how you react afterward. 😍

For instance, try to realize that their "blade" isn't actually made of steel—it's purely psychological. You can essentially "dull" the edge just by changing your attitude toward it. To be honest, I'm not entirely sure which specific situation you're referring to, so I won't speculate too much. Personally, I find it hard to let a two-faced person truly get under my skin. Are you thinking about someone exploiting your trust? Or maybe someone spreading rumors about you behind your back? 🤔

lonegardener said:Well, you can't really prepare for it beforehand, but you can certainly control how you react afterward. 😍

For instance, try to realize that their "blade" isn't actually made of steel—it's purely psychological. You can essentially "dull" the edge just by changing your attitude toward it. To be honest, I'm not entirely sure which specific situation you're referring to, so I won't speculate too much. Personally, I find it hard to let a two-faced person truly get under my skin. Are you thinking about someone exploiting your trust? Or maybe someone spreading rumors about you behind your back? 🤔

Exactly.

David Sanchez8 said:Exactly.

Hmm, that’s a tough spot. Honestly... once you get burned, you’re definitely going to be more careful next time. If a secret is the kind of thing you just can't let slip, you aren't going to tell anyone unless they've earned your "total" trust. And that kind of trust? It has to be earned through years of being reliable. 🤷

Then again, there's always the possibility that some people just don't have secrets like that. 🙂

David Sanchez8 said:Agreed. But sometimes they play the part so well it's nearly impossible to see through the mask. You don't realize who they are until they twist the knife when your back is turned.

So, how do you deal with them?

Nothing, really. Why bother?
You just have to work on yourself so the blow doesn't hurt quite as much. If you spend all your energy trying to find some foolproof way to spot them, you're just wasting time and strength, and honestly, it still hurts just as bad if not worse.

Basically, the only way out is to build up some kind of resilience.
I'm also not big on being overly cautious, maybe just a little 🤔, because while you're busy building walls against potential hypocrites, you might accidentally shut out the genuine people too.

I usually start off open, then pull back a bit, and 🤷
but at least I feel like I'm not losing anything meaningful along the way
because... well, how else are you supposed to learn? If you don't get burned once in a while, you'll never know.

lonegardener said:Hmm, that’s a tough spot. Honestly... once you get burned, you’re definitely going to be more careful next time. If a secret is the kind of thing you just can't let slip, you aren't going to tell anyone unless they've earned your "total" trust. And that kind of trust? It has to be earned through years of being reliable. 🤷

Then again, there's always the possibility that some people just don't have secrets like that. 🙂

Total trust takes forever to build, and even then, there's no guarantee they won't stab you in the back anyway.
And "secrets" aren't always huge things; it depends on what we're talking about. What's the point of having a reliable person if there's nothing to confide in? I won't go into specific examples.

There's also the possibility of simply not having secrets like that. 🙂

But it's not even necessarily about massive secrets; it's just those little details you don't want to broadcast to the whole world, you know? You share them with certain people just because it feels right. It's impossible not to have those moments.

Then... all that's left is to "train" yourself to handle those heavy hits—like getting stabbed in the back—with a bit more grace and less pain.

Sandra Parker3 said:Nothing, really. Why bother?
You just have to work on yourself so the blow doesn't hurt quite as much. If you spend all your energy trying to find some foolproof way to spot them, you're just wasting time and strength, and honestly, it still hurts just as bad if not worse.

Basically, the only way out is to build up some kind of resilience.
I'm also not big on being overly cautious, maybe just a little 🤔, because while you're busy building walls against potential hypocrites, you might accidentally shut out the genuine people too.

I usually start off open, then pull back a bit, and 🤷
but at least I feel like I'm not losing anything meaningful along the way
because... well, how else are you supposed to learn? If you don't get burned once in a while, you'll never know.

Total trust takes forever to build, and even then, there's no guarantee they won't stab you in the back anyway.
And "secrets" aren't always huge things; it depends on what we're talking about. What's the point of having a reliable person if there's nothing to confide in? I won't go into specific examples.

There's also the possibility of simply not having secrets like that. 🙂

But it's not even necessarily about massive secrets; it's just those little details you don't want to broadcast to the whole world, you know? You share them with certain people just because it feels right. It's impossible not to have those moments.

Then... all that's left is to "train" yourself to handle those heavy hits—like getting stabbed in the back—with a bit more grace and less pain.

🤷 I honestly can't wrap my head around it. To build up that level of trust over such a long period, only to suddenly realize someone was being two-faced the entire time? It’s infuriating. This wasn't some accidental slip of the tongue or a simple "oops" moment—this felt calculated. It feels like they went out of their way to be deceptive, specifically with the intention of causing harm.

Sandra Parker3 said:Nothing, really. Why bother?
You just have to work on yourself so the blow doesn't hurt quite as much. If you spend all your energy trying to find some foolproof way to spot them, you're just wasting time and strength, and honestly, it still hurts just as bad if not worse.

Basically, the only way out is to build up some kind of resilience.
I'm also not big on being overly cautious, maybe just a little 🤔, because while you're busy building walls against potential hypocrites, you might accidentally shut out the genuine people too.

I usually start off open, then pull back a bit, and 🤷
but at least I feel like I'm not losing anything meaningful along the way
because... well, how else are you supposed to learn? If you don't get burned once in a while, you'll never know.

Total trust takes forever to build, and even then, there's no guarantee they won't stab you in the back anyway.
And "secrets" aren't always huge things; it depends on what we're talking about. What's the point of having a reliable person if there's nothing to confide in? I won't go into specific examples.

There's also the possibility of simply not having secrets like that. 🙂

But it's not even necessarily about massive secrets; it's just those little details you don't want to broadcast to the whole world, you know? You share them with certain people just because it feels right. It's impossible not to have those moments.

Then... all that's left is to "train" yourself to handle those heavy hits—like getting stabbed in the back—with a bit more grace and less pain.

Give it a shot. Honestly, I don't see what kind of "effect" there could possibly be from sharing secrets. The only real impact comes from the act itself. For it to actually work, the person you’re talking to just needs to meet two simple criteria: you have to genuinely care about them, and they have to be someone you can trust. I keep hearing examples that suggest the exact opposite. 😬

Sandra Parker3 said:Nothing, really. Why bother?
You just have to work on yourself so the blow doesn't hurt quite as much. If you spend all your energy trying to find some foolproof way to spot them, you're just wasting time and strength, and honestly, it still hurts just as bad if not worse.

Basically, the only way out is to build up some kind of resilience.
I'm also not big on being overly cautious, maybe just a little 🤔, because while you're busy building walls against potential hypocrites, you might accidentally shut out the genuine people too.

I usually start off open, then pull back a bit, and 🤷
but at least I feel like I'm not losing anything meaningful along the way
because... well, how else are you supposed to learn? If you don't get burned once in a while, you'll never know.

Total trust takes forever to build, and even then, there's no guarantee they won't stab you in the back anyway.
And "secrets" aren't always huge things; it depends on what we're talking about. What's the point of having a reliable person if there's nothing to confide in? I won't go into specific examples.

There's also the possibility of simply not having secrets like that. 🙂

But it's not even necessarily about massive secrets; it's just those little details you don't want to broadcast to the whole world, you know? You share them with certain people just because it feels right. It's impossible not to have those moments.

Then... all that's left is to "train" yourself to handle those heavy hits—like getting stabbed in the back—with a bit more grace and less pain.

It’s entirely possible. There’s a massive difference between simply choosing not to share something and being deeply, fundamentally hurt when you eventually do. If you're feeling that level of pain, you can't just brush it off as "minor details I'd rather keep private." It clearly matters. And if it matters that much, you really have to be careful about who you trust. 🤷

Sandra Parker3 said:Nothing, really. Why bother?
You just have to work on yourself so the blow doesn't hurt quite as much. If you spend all your energy trying to find some foolproof way to spot them, you're just wasting time and strength, and honestly, it still hurts just as bad if not worse.

Basically, the only way out is to build up some kind of resilience.
I'm also not big on being overly cautious, maybe just a little 🤔, because while you're busy building walls against potential hypocrites, you might accidentally shut out the genuine people too.

I usually start off open, then pull back a bit, and 🤷
but at least I feel like I'm not losing anything meaningful along the way
because... well, how else are you supposed to learn? If you don't get burned once in a while, you'll never know.

Total trust takes forever to build, and even then, there's no guarantee they won't stab you in the back anyway.
And "secrets" aren't always huge things; it depends on what we're talking about. What's the point of having a reliable person if there's nothing to confide in? I won't go into specific examples.

There's also the possibility of simply not having secrets like that. 🙂

But it's not even necessarily about massive secrets; it's just those little details you don't want to broadcast to the whole world, you know? You share them with certain people just because it feels right. It's impossible not to have those moments.

Then... all that's left is to "train" yourself to handle those heavy hits—like getting stabbed in the back—with a bit more grace and less pain.

Exactly. You have to be incredibly careful about who you trust with information that could potentially be used against you. 😍

lonegardener said:🤷 I honestly can't wrap my head around it. To build up that level of trust over such a long period, only to suddenly realize someone was being two-faced the entire time? It’s infuriating. This wasn't some accidental slip of the tongue or a simple "oops" moment—this felt calculated. It feels like they went out of their way to be deceptive, specifically with the intention of causing harm.

Give it a shot. Honestly, I don't see what kind of "effect" there could possibly be from sharing secrets. The only real impact comes from the act itself. For it to actually work, the person you’re talking to just needs to meet two simple criteria: you have to genuinely care about them, and they have to be someone you can trust. I keep hearing examples that suggest the exact opposite. 😬

It’s entirely possible. There’s a massive difference between simply choosing not to share something and being deeply, fundamentally hurt when you eventually do. If you're feeling that level of pain, you can't just brush it off as "minor details I'd rather keep private." It clearly matters. And if it matters that much, you really have to be careful about who you trust. 🤷

Exactly. You have to be incredibly careful about who you trust with information that could potentially be used against you. 😍

Believe it or not, people like that are everywhere. It might be hard to imagine, but there are plenty of folks you pour your trust into, only for them to stab you in the back. In my experience, truly honest and sincere people are actually quite rare. Luckily, the good ones are still out there. 🙂

David Sanchez8 said:How do we set boundaries and stop their hypocrisy from cutting us deep?

First off, what does "hypocrite" even mean to you? Are you aware that you probably present a different face to the world—one for acquaintances and strangers, and a totally different one internally?

Second, human relationships just involve getting hurt sometimes. Maybe you have a great friend, you've been close for years, and then she gets married, has kids, and suddenly doesn't have time for you anymore. Okay, that isn't hypocrisy; life priorities just shifted.

There are a million possibilities here. You didn't write much in your opening post, so we're all just guessing what you meant. We would actually need to know what "hypocrisy" looks like to you and how these people specifically hurt you.

In principle: if you gossip about others while hanging out with a group, you can be certain they’ll gossip about you the second you walk away. Are they hypocrites? In my opinion, no. I enjoy gossiping too, even about my closest friends. But strictly within a tight circle.

Basically, neither you nor anyone else is a saint. There's less disappointment when you align your expectations with reality. If you met someone six months ago and they seem great, there's an equal chance they could become a best friend or turn their back on you. You just don't know them well enough yet. As for people you've known for years, you really should understand their behavior and try to grasp why they did whatever it was that hurt you.

Sean Cruz said:Believe it or not, people like that are everywhere. It might be hard to imagine, but there are plenty of folks you pour your trust into, only for them to stab you in the back. In my experience, truly honest and sincere people are actually quite rare. Luckily, the good ones are still out there. 🙂

In any situation where those trusted people "stabbed you in the back," I guess you should probably stop and think—what actually happened? Not just from your perspective, but from their side of things too.

I went through this a lot back in the day. I’d expect someone close to me to support me or do one specific thing, and then they wouldn't. Later, when we'd talk about it, my friend would act totally shocked: Wait, I had no idea you wanted that! Why didn't you tell me? Nobody is a mind reader.

Jerry Martinez5 said:In any situation where those trusted people "stabbed you in the back," I guess you should probably stop and think—what actually happened? Not just from your perspective, but from their side of things too.

I went through this a lot back in the day. I’d expect someone close to me to support me or do one specific thing, and then they wouldn't. Later, when we'd talk about it, my friend would act totally shocked: Wait, I had no idea you wanted that! Why didn't you tell me? Nobody is a mind reader.

No, that's not what I mean. I'm talking about the manipulators—the ones who go out of their way to earn your trust specifically so they can pull the rug out from under you. I'm talking about truly malicious people who enter relationships with the sole intention of causing harm. I used to think they were outliers, but I'm starting to realize they are everywhere.

Sean Cruz said:No, that's not what I mean. I'm talking about the manipulators—the ones who go out of their way to earn your trust specifically so they can pull the rug out from under you. I'm talking about truly malicious people who enter relationships with the sole intention of causing harm. I used to think they were outliers, but I'm starting to realize they are everywhere.

I don't know if they're everywhere, but they definitely exist.

I have a pretty solid tactic for dealing with them. As soon as I notice someone starts hovering around me, I get suspicious right away. Like, where did all this sudden interest in my life come from? What exactly am I offering? If you're, say, popular at a big state university and run with a great crowd, it's obvious some people from the fringes are going to try hard to get in your good graces. But I look at it this way: if some girl is constantly chasing me just so I'll invite her to those parties everyone's talking about, I'm not under any illusion that she's actually fallen for me. She's just looking for an invite. 😁

It's the same deal at work. If you're on good terms with the manager and already hold a decent position, obviously some ambitious new hires are going to scramble for your attention. But those aren't hypocrites! It's your own fault if you misread their intentions.

There are always a dozen reasons why someone wants to hang out with you. The second you see someone "doing everything to win your trust," it's pretty clear they have an ulterior motive.

Sean Cruz said:No, that's not what I mean. I'm talking about the manipulators—the ones who go out of their way to earn your trust specifically so they can pull the rug out from under you. I'm talking about truly malicious people who enter relationships with the sole intention of causing harm. I used to think they were outliers, but I'm starting to realize they are everywhere.

😲

Quite a lot? What makes you say that?

Personally, I don't think they're that common. And even if someone strikes you as being that type of person, are you 100% certain it isn't just a misunderstanding or a simple breakdown in communication?

Think about it—it’s actually a bit terrifying. If you truly put your full faith in someone and then suddenly feel like they've been two-faced, it creates this overwhelming sense of doubt regarding your own judgment. The first thing I would question in that situation is whether this "new realization" itself isn't just another error in judgment. After all, I already have proof that I can be completely wrong about someone, right?

In short, realizing how deeply you were misled in the past probably means you can never be 100% sure of your intuition ever again.

Jerry Martinez5 said:I don't know if they're everywhere, but they definitely exist.

I have a pretty solid tactic for dealing with them. As soon as I notice someone starts hovering around me, I get suspicious right away. Like, where did all this sudden interest in my life come from? What exactly am I offering? If you're, say, popular at a big state university and run with a great crowd, it's obvious some people from the fringes are going to try hard to get in your good graces. But I look at it this way: if some girl is constantly chasing me just so I'll invite her to those parties everyone's talking about, I'm not under any illusion that she's actually fallen for me. She's just looking for an invite. 😁

It's the same deal at work. If you're on good terms with the manager and already hold a decent position, obviously some ambitious new hires are going to scramble for your attention. But those aren't hypocrites! It's your own fault if you misread their intentions.

There are always a dozen reasons why someone wants to hang out with you. The second you see someone "doing everything to win your trust," it's pretty clear they have an ulterior motive.

I am fully aware of what you're saying. I've dealt with my fair share of hypocrites—from high school and college drama to those "friends" who would try to steal your boyfriend, 😁 all the way up to colleagues in the workplace. Usually, my gut instinct kicks in immediately; I can spot those types from a mile away because their patterns are so predictable. However, there are certain people you actually *do* let in. I don't make friends with just anyone, but then a betrayal happens. You realize someone was being calculated, mapping out your vulnerabilities just to exploit them and win you over. People like that aren't everywhere, but they're definitely present. How do you learn to trust again? Honestly, I'm already hard enough on myself as it is. 🤣 I know not everyone is like that—I have real, genuine friends—but once you've been burned, you tend to be wary of even the simplest things, right?

lonegardener said:😲

Quite a lot? What makes you say that?

Personally, I don't think they're that common. And even if someone strikes you as being that type of person, are you 100% certain it isn't just a misunderstanding or a simple breakdown in communication?

Think about it—it’s actually a bit terrifying. If you truly put your full faith in someone and then suddenly feel like they've been two-faced, it creates this overwhelming sense of doubt regarding your own judgment. The first thing I would question in that situation is whether this "new realization" itself isn't just another error in judgment. After all, I already have proof that I can be completely wrong about someone, right?

In short, realizing how deeply you were misled in the past probably means you can never be 100% sure of your intuition ever again.

😍 You’re being a bit too literal sometimes. I wasn't making a mathematical argument; my point was that if you don't trust 99% of people, and then that remaining 1% actually screws you over by even 0.33%, it’s still a massive headache.

Even if someone comes across that way, are you absolutely certain it isn't just a simple misunderstanding or a breakdown in communication?

I can be certain of nothing, not even my own thoughts. Usually, I try to double-check things or just wait for time to reveal whether it was all just a misunderstanding. Mind you, there are days when I know I’m being judgmental and making a mountain out of a molehill. 🤣 I'm working on it, though. I am genuinely trying to shake that trait and learn how to be more patient. 🙄 It’s fascinating, really. I’ve found myself being manipulated on more than one occasion, which leaves me wondering: am I just incredibly naive, or am I actually being foolish? 🤷 I’ve been trying to wrap my head around what exactly it is about my personality that draws them in—and why they ultimately decide I’m an easy target.

Look, listen up, Isn't that a little creepy?If you truly placed your full trust in someone only to realize they were being two-faced, it triggers this overwhelming sense of self-doubt. You start questioning your own judgment across the board. The first thing I’d do if I found myself spiraling into that kind of skepticism is pause and ask: how do I know this "new realization" isn't just another illusion or a mistake? After all, I already have proof that my perception can be fundamentally wrong, don't I?

It’s chilling when you finally realize how certain people actually operate. You’re right—once that realization hits, it just leaves you with a mountain of questions. Was the whole thing a lie? How are you supposed to trust anyone after being played like that? At first, you try to convince yourself it was just some twisted social experiment to see how you'd react, but once you realize it wasn't, you're left wondering if anything they've ever done was genuine. It becomes a loop you can't escape. You can never truly be sure of anything. But honestly, if someone is out there playing games with you, is it even worth the headspace? Not really.

In short, once you realize how completely wrong you were before, you can never again be 100% certain about any future argument.

And that’s exactly where I struggle—how do you actually rebuild trust in your own judgment?

Sean Cruz said:😍 You’re being a bit too literal sometimes. I wasn't making a mathematical argument; my point was that if you don't trust 99% of people, and then that remaining 1% actually screws you over by even 0.33%, it’s still a massive headache.

Even if someone comes across that way, are you absolutely certain it isn't just a simple misunderstanding or a breakdown in communication?

I can be certain of nothing, not even my own thoughts. Usually, I try to double-check things or just wait for time to reveal whether it was all just a misunderstanding. Mind you, there are days when I know I’m being judgmental and making a mountain out of a molehill. 🤣 I'm working on it, though. I am genuinely trying to shake that trait and learn how to be more patient. 🙄 It’s fascinating, really. I’ve found myself being manipulated on more than one occasion, which leaves me wondering: am I just incredibly naive, or am I actually being foolish? 🤷 I’ve been trying to wrap my head around what exactly it is about my personality that draws them in—and why they ultimately decide I’m an easy target.

Look, listen up, Isn't that a little creepy?If you truly placed your full trust in someone only to realize they were being two-faced, it triggers this overwhelming sense of self-doubt. You start questioning your own judgment across the board. The first thing I’d do if I found myself spiraling into that kind of skepticism is pause and ask: how do I know this "new realization" isn't just another illusion or a mistake? After all, I already have proof that my perception can be fundamentally wrong, don't I?

It’s chilling when you finally realize how certain people actually operate. You’re right—once that realization hits, it just leaves you with a mountain of questions. Was the whole thing a lie? How are you supposed to trust anyone after being played like that? At first, you try to convince yourself it was just some twisted social experiment to see how you'd react, but once you realize it wasn't, you're left wondering if anything they've ever done was genuine. It becomes a loop you can't escape. You can never truly be sure of anything. But honestly, if someone is out there playing games with you, is it even worth the headspace? Not really.

In short, once you realize how completely wrong you were before, you can never again be 100% certain about any future argument.

And that’s exactly where I struggle—how do you actually rebuild trust in your own judgment?

Well... logically speaking, honest people are the easiest targets for manipulation.

If someone goes into a situation intending to pull a fast one, they learn to spot sincerity immediately.

It also seems to me that the best strategy for a manipulator is to convincingly act like just as honest a person. They wouldn't, say, try to act mysterious.

Actually, this reminds me of something mentioned in a great movie:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093223/

Sean Cruz said:😍 You’re being a bit too literal sometimes. I wasn't making a mathematical argument; my point was that if you don't trust 99% of people, and then that remaining 1% actually screws you over by even 0.33%, it’s still a massive headache.

Even if someone comes across that way, are you absolutely certain it isn't just a simple misunderstanding or a breakdown in communication?

I can be certain of nothing, not even my own thoughts. Usually, I try to double-check things or just wait for time to reveal whether it was all just a misunderstanding. Mind you, there are days when I know I’m being judgmental and making a mountain out of a molehill. 🤣 I'm working on it, though. I am genuinely trying to shake that trait and learn how to be more patient. 🙄 It’s fascinating, really. I’ve found myself being manipulated on more than one occasion, which leaves me wondering: am I just incredibly naive, or am I actually being foolish? 🤷 I’ve been trying to wrap my head around what exactly it is about my personality that draws them in—and why they ultimately decide I’m an easy target.

Look, listen up, Isn't that a little creepy?If you truly placed your full trust in someone only to realize they were being two-faced, it triggers this overwhelming sense of self-doubt. You start questioning your own judgment across the board. The first thing I’d do if I found myself spiraling into that kind of skepticism is pause and ask: how do I know this "new realization" isn't just another illusion or a mistake? After all, I already have proof that my perception can be fundamentally wrong, don't I?

It’s chilling when you finally realize how certain people actually operate. You’re right—once that realization hits, it just leaves you with a mountain of questions. Was the whole thing a lie? How are you supposed to trust anyone after being played like that? At first, you try to convince yourself it was just some twisted social experiment to see how you'd react, but once you realize it wasn't, you're left wondering if anything they've ever done was genuine. It becomes a loop you can't escape. You can never truly be sure of anything. But honestly, if someone is out there playing games with you, is it even worth the headspace? Not really.

In short, once you realize how completely wrong you were before, you can never again be 100% certain about any future argument.

And that’s exactly where I struggle—how do you actually rebuild trust in your own judgment?

I don't quite follow that... because the whole problem is that you don't know if they're playing games or not.

Sean Cruz said:😍 You’re being a bit too literal sometimes. I wasn't making a mathematical argument; my point was that if you don't trust 99% of people, and then that remaining 1% actually screws you over by even 0.33%, it’s still a massive headache.

Even if someone comes across that way, are you absolutely certain it isn't just a simple misunderstanding or a breakdown in communication?

I can be certain of nothing, not even my own thoughts. Usually, I try to double-check things or just wait for time to reveal whether it was all just a misunderstanding. Mind you, there are days when I know I’m being judgmental and making a mountain out of a molehill. 🤣 I'm working on it, though. I am genuinely trying to shake that trait and learn how to be more patient. 🙄 It’s fascinating, really. I’ve found myself being manipulated on more than one occasion, which leaves me wondering: am I just incredibly naive, or am I actually being foolish? 🤷 I’ve been trying to wrap my head around what exactly it is about my personality that draws them in—and why they ultimately decide I’m an easy target.

Look, listen up, Isn't that a little creepy?If you truly placed your full trust in someone only to realize they were being two-faced, it triggers this overwhelming sense of self-doubt. You start questioning your own judgment across the board. The first thing I’d do if I found myself spiraling into that kind of skepticism is pause and ask: how do I know this "new realization" isn't just another illusion or a mistake? After all, I already have proof that my perception can be fundamentally wrong, don't I?

It’s chilling when you finally realize how certain people actually operate. You’re right—once that realization hits, it just leaves you with a mountain of questions. Was the whole thing a lie? How are you supposed to trust anyone after being played like that? At first, you try to convince yourself it was just some twisted social experiment to see how you'd react, but once you realize it wasn't, you're left wondering if anything they've ever done was genuine. It becomes a loop you can't escape. You can never truly be sure of anything. But honestly, if someone is out there playing games with you, is it even worth the headspace? Not really.

In short, once you realize how completely wrong you were before, you can never again be 100% certain about any future argument.

And that’s exactly where I struggle—how do you actually rebuild trust in your own judgment?

Somewhere between "very difficult" and "impossible," I suspect... 😢

lonegardener said:Well... logically speaking, honest people are the easiest targets for manipulation.

If someone goes into a situation intending to pull a fast one, they learn to spot sincerity immediately.

It also seems to me that the best strategy for a manipulator is to convincingly act like just as honest a person. They wouldn't, say, try to act mysterious.

Actually, this reminds me of something mentioned in a great movie:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093223/

I don't quite follow that... because the whole problem is that you don't know if they're playing games or not.

Somewhere between "very difficult" and "impossible," I suspect... 😢

It’s quite simple, really. I am—for the most part—an honest person. I don't say much, but when I do, I mean it. My father still insists that being this way is a virtue and how one ought to carry themselves. 🙄
Quincy:

Furthermore, it seems to me that the most effective manipulation strategy is to convincingly play the part of an honest person. Rather than, say, acting mysterious.

😁

What makes you say that?

Quincy:

Now that I think about it, all of this was actually covered in one great movie: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093223/

I haven't seen that one, but I'll look for it. Thanks. 🙂

Quincy:

I don't quite follow... the whole issue is precisely that you can't tell if there are games being played or not.

I'm fairly certain there were games at play. Though, perhaps not. 🤣

Quincy:

Somewhere in between difficult and impossible, I'd wager... 😢

If you figure it out, let me know. It's eating at me, and I can't seem to help myself—at least not right now.