I'm officially entering my misanthrope era

Kyle Nelson2 said:So, is it just me, or does everyone here seem to be turning into a total misanthrope? Or maybe you all just don't see yourselves as part of the general public anymore... I don't know.
For example, I really value being picky about who I grab coffee with... and honestly, making that choice is never easy...

Absolutely. I’m just as picky when it comes to choosing company for coffee, a beer, or even tequila... whatever it may be... but the real issue is that I strictly limit how much time I actually spend around them.

There’s this rather biting observation from Sebastian R. Chamfort that really hits home: if you haven't developed a healthy dose of misanthropy by the time you hit forty, you probably never actually cared about people to begin with.

feralorca82 said:Yeah, I'm in the exact same boat.
The issue gets worse (in my opinion) when you try to explain it to someone. They just don't get it and start looping with questions like, "But why? Why's that? Why this?"—goddamn leeches 🙂 leave me alone!
Nothing is worse than being totally drained and having someone relentlessly pry for info you have no intention of sharing.

To make matters worse, you always end up looking like the jerk or the moody one because you "hurt their feelings" just by letting them know to go f***

I actually just got into this huge blowout with a friend over something pretty similar, and honestly, I always seem to be the one who loses my cool and ends up getting labeled as the unstable or high-strung one, even though the reality is she can be incredibly draining and demanding, just talking about herself for hours on end without realizing it, and she just doesn't get why it's such an issue, but people like that totally exhaust me... plus, apparently, I'm just boring to them since we don't share the same interests, and I really can't stand listening to endless gossip or hearing about shopping sprees, especially when it's the same story told five different times, and I just don't understand how some people don't realize how exhausting they're being😢
lately, I’ve been feeling at my absolute happiest whenever I can just disconnect from the real world and lose myself in a good book, some great music, or a movie. 😕

David Mendoza4 said:I actually just got into this huge blowout with a friend over something pretty similar, and honestly, I always seem to be the one who loses my cool and ends up getting labeled as the unstable or high-strung one, even though the reality is she can be incredibly draining and demanding, just talking about herself for hours on end without realizing it, and she just doesn't get why it's such an issue, but people like that totally exhaust me... plus, apparently, I'm just boring to them since we don't share the same interests, and I really can't stand listening to endless gossip or hearing about shopping sprees, especially when it's the same story told five different times, and I just don't understand how some people don't realize how exhausting they're being😢
lately, I’ve been feeling at my absolute happiest whenever I can just disconnect from the real world and lose myself in a good book, some great music, or a movie. 😕

So, I guess you'd have to be a mizantrop just for cutting her off? 🤣

Why are you even hanging out with her? Why call her a friend? You aren't a mizantrop; you just seem to have a thing for toxic jerks. Why do this to yourself?

Look, it's not really a choice: either you put up with idiots, or you end up totally alone. It’s a vicious cycle. People who get surrounded by leeches because they can't say "no" eventually have to retreat into total isolation just to recover from the constant harassment. But the people bothering you aren't the problem—it's you, for allowing it to happen. 😢

Why? Is letting people walk all over you the only way to have a social life? Of course it isn't.

Donna Taylor68 said:That was basically my game plan this year too—heading out to the middle of nowhere late August/early September:
1/ dodging everyone in NYC (friends, coworkers, just people in general)
2/ avoiding the crowds at the coast (whether it's family houses or just packed beaches and boardwalks)

If the weather holds up, I couldn't be happier 🙂

This isn't about being a mizantrop, it's just a smart move. NYC is honestly at its best in the summer when the crowds clear out.
The coast is much better in June or September, too—when there isn't a massive crowd. You can actually have the streets and beaches to yourself.

Jerry Martinez5 said:So, I guess you'd have to be a mizantrop just for cutting her off? 🤣

Why are you even hanging out with her? Why call her a friend? You aren't a mizantrop; you just seem to have a thing for toxic jerks. Why do this to yourself?

Look, it's not really a choice: either you put up with idiots, or you end up totally alone. It’s a vicious cycle. People who get surrounded by leeches because they can't say "no" eventually have to retreat into total isolation just to recover from the constant harassment. But the people bothering you aren't the problem—it's you, for allowing it to happen. 😢

Why? Is letting people walk all over you the only way to have a social life? Of course it isn't.

haha, oh gosh, I don't see myself as a hater of humanity or anything, it's more like I just saw myself in what was said because I honestly just love my solo time, and I find those super high-energy, ego-driven people who always need to be the star of the show to be totally exhausting since they make me feel invisible, whereas I'd much rather just zone out and enjoy some quiet moments, which I guess some people just don't get.
But she and I have been through so much together, and even though she's been a real handful lately, there's just no way I'm cutting her loose like that, especially since I had a similar friend once who was just twisted and insecure and I felt zero regret when she drifted out of my life, but this isn't like that at all because she actually has some great qualities and we really support each other, so it's not even about that, it's more that we're just fundamentally different people with totally different interests, yet I don't bore her with stuff she doesn't care about, even if she doesn't realize she can be pretty thoughtless sometimes, so my real issue is that I tend to stay quiet and bottle everything up until I eventually just hit a breaking point.👎
and she just doesn't get where I'm coming from.🙄

David Mendoza4 said:haha, oh gosh, I don't see myself as a hater of humanity or anything, it's more like I just saw myself in what was said because I honestly just love my solo time, and I find those super high-energy, ego-driven people who always need to be the star of the show to be totally exhausting since they make me feel invisible, whereas I'd much rather just zone out and enjoy some quiet moments, which I guess some people just don't get.
But she and I have been through so much together, and even though she's been a real handful lately, there's just no way I'm cutting her loose like that, especially since I had a similar friend once who was just twisted and insecure and I felt zero regret when she drifted out of my life, but this isn't like that at all because she actually has some great qualities and we really support each other, so it's not even about that, it's more that we're just fundamentally different people with totally different interests, yet I don't bore her with stuff she doesn't care about, even if she doesn't realize she can be pretty thoughtless sometimes, so my real issue is that I tend to stay quiet and bottle everything up until I eventually just hit a breaking point.👎
and she just doesn't get where I'm coming from.🙄

Yeah, and that’s how people around here end up calling themselves mizantrops. 🤣

So, someone actually had the nerve to lecture me about the Holocaust, the Inquisition, or child abuse in foster care. Seriously? There are plenty of reasons why being a mizantrop isn't just an attitude—it's a logical response to reality. I guess it's just common sense.

I hate people. My friends constantly nag me with their endless drama, yet they never bother to ask how I’m doing. I hate people at work, too. They won't leave me alone when all I really want to do is sit here and type on this forum. Maybe that's just how it is.🙄🙄🙄

David Mendoza4, if she’s actually your friend and you two have history, you really ought to call her out on her behavior. You should probably tell her you aren't going to put up with it anymore. I guess I’ve been that person before—the friend who lashes out at the people closest to me just because life is hitting hard. But honestly? When people just took it, they weren't actually helping me. I think I would have felt much better if they had just set a boundary and said: Cut it out. Let’s actually do something worthwhile for once. 🙂

That applies to friends and decent people, I guess. But some folks are straight-up leeches. All you can really do is cut them loose. They’ll just go out and find new victims anyway.

So I basically tell her exactly what needs to change so things can finally get better, but then after a little while, everything just drifts right back to how it was before.

And look, I never said I hate everyone, so please don't put words in my mouth! It's more that I've just been really vibing with my own company lately, you know? Most people just don't really click with me, especially when I'm out in those big, random crowds where I don't feel like I belong. I'm definitely more of an introvert, but honestly, what's the big deal? It’s not a problem for me at all; I'm just trying to share what I've been going through with anyone else here who feels the same way.

David Mendoza4 said:So I basically tell her exactly what needs to change so things can finally get better, but then after a little while, everything just drifts right back to how it was before.

And look, I never said I hate everyone, so please don't put words in my mouth! It's more that I've just been really vibing with my own company lately, you know? Most people just don't really click with me, especially when I'm out in those big, random crowds where I don't feel like I belong. I'm definitely more of an introvert, but honestly, what's the big deal? It’s not a problem for me at all; I'm just trying to share what I've been going through with anyone else here who feels the same way.

Heh, I actually have a perfect quote for this...
one of those hilarious characters I run into—he runs a local Airbnb business, so we cross paths quite a bit during the summer—once told me: "Listen, kid, there's no worse kind of guest than a loner. There are two reasons they're traveling solo. Either they're crazy and nobody wants to travel with them, or they're going through a breakup and they're crazy because of that." 🤣🤣

Personally, I love the idea of just disappearing into a crowd, heading out into the wilderness, or just staring blankly at some imaginary point in space. I don't see why anyone would find that weird. Honestly, there are plenty of much worse ways a person could spend their time than just being alone...

Anyway, I'm totally with you. I wouldn't call myself an introvert—not even close—but I just can't be bothered talking to strangers or dealing with boring people about all that superficial stuff like: "How's it going?" or "How's school?" —> my god, I really couldn't care less about those things. Sometimes I'll literally hop off a Greyhound bus early just to avoid having to chat with someone incredibly dull.

One of the few things I love about living in this country is how much great weather we get, so I'm constantly out on my bike, which means I rarely run into the horrors mentioned in the paragraph above. 😍 😍

I honestly don't get why my people think I'm some kind of freak just because I value my alone time. It’s actually pretty irritating, if I'm being honest. 😢
It’s not like I hate people or anything. I enjoy hanging out, I like going out on the town... I just don't see what's weird about wanting to wander through downtown by myself, or hitting up the mall alone, or even just going for a solo skate or a run.
But I have this need for peace, I guess. There are times when I can go a few days without seeing anyone at all, and I feel perfectly fine with that. 😍

Kevin Nguyen5 said:I honestly don't get why my people think I'm some kind of freak just because I value my alone time. It’s actually pretty irritating, if I'm being honest. 😢
It’s not like I hate people or anything. I enjoy hanging out, I like going out on the town... I just don't see what's weird about wanting to wander through downtown by myself, or hitting up the mall alone, or even just going for a solo skate or a run.
But I have this need for peace, I guess. There are times when I can go a few days without seeing anyone at all, and I feel perfectly fine with that. 😍

it's mostly because my family thinks the same way. but hey, whatever—they basically expect me to be married with a whole brood of kids by now since they all tied the knot at twenty-four, so they’re clearly living in their own little world... I don't even try to argue with them about my life anymore.

Consider this my official entry into the club. I’m living abroad with my two daughters—
ages 10 and 5. Thank goodness they're a bit older now, haha. Over the last couple of years,
I've been feeling exactly what you all are describing. Friends call me to go out constantly, but I just don't have
the drive. Sometimes I can't say no, but lately, people have started asking
me things like "what's wrong?" or "you aren't yourself anymore," or even "did we do something to offend you?"
The truth is, I just can't bring myself to be honest and say, "it's not you, it's me—people are just exhausting."

Most of this resonates deeply, though I wouldn't call myself asexual.
I still have plenty of interests. 😬

What strikes me, however, is that I don't actually hate people—quite the opposite,
I just find I have nothing to say to most of them. When I finally do find someone I click with
(someone who shares my outlook), I end up feeling like I'm suffocating them—as if
I'm projecting my own exhaustion onto them. Lately, it’s become incredibly
difficult to just relax. I'm a completely different person than I used to be. 🙄
From what I gather, a mizantrop is simply someone who hates humanity.
The term comes from the Greek roots
misos — hatred
and anthropos — man.

Jamie Reyes73 said:Consider this my official entry into the club. I’m living abroad with my two daughters—
ages 10 and 5. Thank goodness they're a bit older now, haha. Over the last couple of years,
I've been feeling exactly what you all are describing. Friends call me to go out constantly, but I just don't have
the drive. Sometimes I can't say no, but lately, people have started asking
me things like "what's wrong?" or "you aren't yourself anymore," or even "did we do something to offend you?"
The truth is, I just can't bring myself to be honest and say, "it's not you, it's me—people are just exhausting."

Most of this resonates deeply, though I wouldn't call myself asexual.
I still have plenty of interests. 😬

What strikes me, however, is that I don't actually hate people—quite the opposite,
I just find I have nothing to say to most of them. When I finally do find someone I click with
(someone who shares my outlook), I end up feeling like I'm suffocating them—as if
I'm projecting my own exhaustion onto them. Lately, it’s become incredibly
difficult to just relax. I'm a completely different person than I used to be. 🙄
From what I gather, a mizantrop is simply someone who hates humanity.
The term comes from the Greek roots
misos — hatred
and anthropos — man.

Yeah, I’m with you on that one. You’re definitely not a mizantrop.
I get the feeling you’re just totally burnt out on the same old crowd. Like, you haven't even bothered trying to make new friends in ages, so now you're just a little rusty. Is that it?

If it’s true, I don't think you've got much to worry about. Just give it some time. And maybe a little bit of luck. Honestly, just spend more time around new people. Seriously. Why wouldn't you?So, it won't be some rare miracle when you actually run into someone you vibe with. And honestly? That takes the pressure off. You won't have to obsess over whether you're being too much or constantly spiraling about what they’re thinking of you. Less stress, right?

The only way out of this is to start expanding your circle. You just gotta keep meeting new people until you finally build a community that actually clicks with you. Eventually, your social skills will get back in shape too. That’s pretty much it. 🙂

Aaron Howard27 said:it's mostly because my family thinks the same way. but hey, whatever—they basically expect me to be married with a whole brood of kids by now since they all tied the knot at twenty-four, so they’re clearly living in their own little world... I don't even try to argue with them about my life anymore.

That is just so typical. If you don't want to follow their exact blueprint, you're suddenly "not normal." I guess I could have saved myself a lot of heartache if I'd just realized earlier on that it was perfectly okay to be different...

Kevin Nguyen5 said:That is just so typical. If you don't want to follow their exact blueprint, you're suddenly "not normal." I guess I could have saved myself a lot of heartache if I'd just realized earlier on that it was perfectly okay to be different...

🤣 😂 🤣 😂 🤣 😂 🤣 😂

a ton, honey, a total ton!! which is exactly why I didn't let them get under my skin in the first place. then again, that might just be because I'm cool!! 😍 😉