What were your biggest pregnancy surprises and pet peeves?

The younger the mom, the stupider the advice. Is he back on his feet? It’s all man, it’s heartburn—it’s got nothing to do with you. Why didn't you go in for all the tests? You aren't actually going to wait until you're in labor to see a doctor? You just don't care about what you eat. Let's grab coffee. Your life is basically over in two months... My mother-in-law is out here asking me if I'm "normal" for buying things before the baby arrives, claiming it brings bad luck... WTF???? And then when I tell them we decided not to find out the gender, everyone immediately jumps in with: "Oh, it's definitely a girl!!!"

8472 said:I suspect that kind of logic simply doesn't cross the minds of those waiting for a boy—especially since, at the end of the day, the firstborn son is still the firstborn son. 🙄😂

Well, I suppose that truly depends on your own character and what you value most in life. Personally, having a son holds absolutely no more weight for me than having a daughter, so I find it impossible to view things through that particular lens.

A friend of mine was telling me about her time visiting a hospital out in rural Alabama, and she mentioned seeing women in tears because they were terrified to go home. Apparently, their husbands and mothers-in-law wouldn't even let them back through the front door just because once again they had
given birth to a girl.
Honestly, I mean—give me a break! It is truly devastating to think anyone could hold such backward views...👎

Most of my girlfriends who have babies have been totally real with me,
not exaggerating or sugarcoating anything because that’s exactly what I asked for...
but then you still get those few idiots who just won't shut up about the weight gain, my body, how much sleep I'm getting, and all the other lovely commentary...

Over the last two days, I actually had two good friends tell me I look great and that I've only put on a little bit of a belly (which isn't even entirely true, but thanks anyway!) !!!
but I’ll be polite and thank everyone for their input, though this whole debate about my weight based on whatever new "standard" people are using lately ends right here...
I don't owe anyone an explanation for anything!!!

redpilot37 said:People really surprised me today... the decency is just gone. No courtesy toward pregnant women, nothing. You're standing there waiting in line and people act like you're invisible. Then you've got these others hovering, trying to cut in because they're so desperate to grab whatever they're buying. Like, seriously? wtf?😕

Being pregnant doesn't give you any kind of edge anymore. If you try to step ahead, you practically have to announce, "Hey, I'm pregnant, I get priority." And honestly, I don't feel like doing that. Look, man, if you can't see it, you just can't see it.🤣

And my neighbor... oh boy.🤦The other day she actually asked me if the baby had "come back to life."🙄
I told her: It’s been alive since the start, T. We even felt the first movements around seven weeks, though it was barely noticeable then. God, I hate that old-school way of putting things... "come back to life."🤣

See, I actually had the exact opposite experience. It was one of those things that actually made my pregnancy a little easier.
People usually let me cut ahead at the checkout, and in hospital waiting rooms, being pregnant basically meant I got priority every single time.
I remember this one day, a lady processing paperwork for blood work and glucose tests basically barked at two old guys who tried to cut in front of me and told them, "Nope, pregnant women go first."
Even at Microsoft, the cashier will usually pull me out of line and let me go first... everyone's been pretty sweet to me.
Sometimes it's even a little awkward because I really don't mind waiting... it's not like standing up is killing me right now.
🙂

Dana Miller2 said:See, I actually had the exact opposite experience. It was one of those things that actually made my pregnancy a little easier.
People usually let me cut ahead at the checkout, and in hospital waiting rooms, being pregnant basically meant I got priority every single time.
I remember this one day, a lady processing paperwork for blood work and glucose tests basically barked at two old guys who tried to cut in front of me and told them, "Nope, pregnant women go first."
Even at Microsoft, the cashier will usually pull me out of line and let me go first... everyone's been pretty sweet to me.
Sometimes it's even a little awkward because I really don't mind waiting... it's not like standing up is killing me right now.
🙂

At the hospital, they consistently call me forward first, and they even take the time to explain to everyone else not to be upset, because, well, pregnant women always get priority.

Ali when I'm out shopping or dealing with government offices... 🙂 😢

Lawrence Hughes66 said:I remember back when I was four months pregnant, someone actually had the nerve to ask me, "So, did it come back to life?"😱😱😱

Even my friend brought this up once. So what if it’s a mother-in-law or some grandma? Who cares? If the girl is just a little younger than me, she'd figure it out. 😱
Now she’s pregnant too. She actually told me once, "The baby came back to life," and I was just like, wtf? Like, the baby is alive. Was she talking about feeling movement or something?
Whatever. I still don't get it. 🙄

vividhawk87 said:It honestly drives me crazy how my sister-in-law—who’s actually younger than me by just six weeks—gets all the attention during her pregnancy. Every time they post an update, everyone goes "wow," but when I try to share something, it's just a lukewarm "oh, okay." Like, the other day I told them I finally felt the baby kick, and instead of a "that's amazing!" or "I'm so happy for you!", she just immediately pivoted to talking about how her little one is constantly moving around. It’s like my milestones don't even count.

My skin gets so dry after a shower, but I've been using Vaseline, and it works wonders; I feel so soft and smooth afterward.
And don't even get me started on stretch marks. They drive me absolutely insane—no matter how much lotion I apply, they just keep appearing!

Oh, please. 😢
Maybe you shouldn't say anything at all?! I didn't tell a single soul in my family about the first time, and I still don't say much unless they specifically ask. I'd much rather just keep that stuff between me and my husband.

Edward Williams8 said:The younger the mom, the stupider the advice. Is he back on his feet? It’s all man, it’s heartburn—it’s got nothing to do with you. Why didn't you go in for all the tests? You aren't actually going to wait until you're in labor to see a doctor? You just don't care about what you eat. Let's grab coffee. Your life is basically over in two months... My mother-in-law is out here asking me if I'm "normal" for buying things before the baby arrives, claiming it brings bad luck... WTF???? And then when I tell them we decided not to find out the gender, everyone immediately jumps in with: "Oh, it's definitely a girl!!!"

😲

Quincy:

Kate Cox2 Who says? My buddy told me she saw some women at a hospital out in California crying because they couldn't go home. Their husbands and mothers-in-law won't even let them through the front door. What kind of people do that? Another girl born.

Sadly, it's true.

I'm from California, and my parents come from deep in Florida. They tell me back then, it was totally common for husbands to refuse to let their wives into the house if they were having girls. Women actually ended up sleeping in barns and all sorts of stuff. 😠

Ali, there are still people like that today. A relative's husband mentioned some guy he knows who had four daughters—I think—and when his wife got pregnant for the fifth time, the ultrasound showed it was a boy. That guy was over the moon! But no, it was a girl. He said the man had a complete nervous breakdown.

What keeps me going is that it seems like there's less of this than before. I honestly think the younger generations don't care nearly as much about whether it's a boy or a girl.

There are plenty of people who claim they don't care about gender in principle, but then again...
The comments start flying: "Touch your stomach," "You're getting fat," "Watch out during unloading," "Don't have sex," "Don't shower," "You have to breastfeed," "Men belong in the delivery room," "Why do you need all that heavy equipment?" or "Aren't you afraid to drive?.."

Edward Williams8 said:There are plenty of people who claim they don't care about gender in principle, but then again...
The comments start flying: "Touch your stomach," "You're getting fat," "Watch out during unloading," "Don't have sex," "Don't shower," "You have to breastfeed," "Men belong in the delivery room," "Why do you need all that heavy equipment?" or "Aren't you afraid to drive?.."

honestly, enough
Every time I hear this kind of nonsense, my blood pressure just spikes because I simply have zero tolerance left for any of it...🙄

:2up:

and I can only imagine the flood of unsolicited advice that will hit once the baby actually arrives...🙄

About 90% of people had the exact same reaction when they heard I was pregnant: "So, when's the wedding?" And that was it. Nobody asked how *I* was doing, how the pregnancy was going, or if the dad was happy (he totally 😍). Honestly, just get those judgmental types away from me 😠 We'll get married whenever I'm actually able to, because I have a heart condition and I've got another surgery coming up once the little one turns one. Just trying to live this pregnancy one day at a time without having to worry about all that too...

Jessica Ramirez said:Even my friend brought this up once. So what if it’s a mother-in-law or some grandma? Who cares? If the girl is just a little younger than me, she'd figure it out. 😱
Now she’s pregnant too. She actually told me once, "The baby came back to life," and I was just like, wtf? Like, the baby is alive. Was she talking about feeling movement or something?
Whatever. I still don't get it. 🙄

Oh, please. 😢
Maybe you shouldn't say anything at all?! I didn't tell a single soul in my family about the first time, and I still don't say much unless they specifically ask. I'd much rather just keep that stuff between me and my husband.

😲

Quincy:

Kate Cox2 Who says? My buddy told me she saw some women at a hospital out in California crying because they couldn't go home. Their husbands and mothers-in-law won't even let them through the front door. What kind of people do that? Another girl born.

Sadly, it's true.

I'm from California, and my parents come from deep in Florida. They tell me back then, it was totally common for husbands to refuse to let their wives into the house if they were having girls. Women actually ended up sleeping in barns and all sorts of stuff. 😠

Ali, there are still people like that today. A relative's husband mentioned some guy he knows who had four daughters—I think—and when his wife got pregnant for the fifth time, the ultrasound showed it was a boy. That guy was over the moon! But no, it was a girl. He said the man had a complete nervous breakdown.

What keeps me going is that it seems like there's less of this than before. I honestly think the younger generations don't care nearly as much about whether it's a boy or a girl.

And man, imagine how it is back home in the rural South. I know families with seven or eight kids... women would just keep going until they finally had a boy, or they’d just get too old to keep trying. And that wasn't even that long ago. Just recently, my brother's friend had a baby girl. Before that, all his buddies at work were constantly asking him, "So, what are you having?" and he'd just say, "A girl," and then—nothing. Total silence. No one said a word! It was wild. 🤦 😵Even now, if people hear it's a boy, everyone knows instantly. But if it's a girl, most people keep it quiet until the very last second. That's just the truth.

As for how kind others have been... I've actually felt that myself, maybe even too much. Everyone has been so protective and sweet toward me.

I'm not out in public enough to hear everyone else's horror stories about giving birth, but I have a few experienced friends who kept telling me it isn't as scary as it sounds. I don't know why everyone is being so careful with me, but they really are wonderful! 😍

extreme said:Some older ladies were asking me about it too, so I asked my mom why everyone keeps bringing it up... it honestly feels like such an idiot question.
She told me that back in the day, feeling movement was like a "sign" that the pregnancy was actually established. Once you feel those kicks, the risk of miscarriage drops significantly, and usually, that’s also when most of the early symptoms—like nausea, exhaustion, dizziness, whatever—start to fade away.
It's still a silly thing to ask, I guess, but at least now you know why people do it.
And yeah... they didn't really rely on ultrasounds back then, right? So women didn't have a way to see the baby moving through an ultrasound scan weeks in advance like we do now. For them, that first little kick was a real, physical sign that everything was okay.

Whew, I wrote a lot there. 😁

Exactly! My aunt used to tell me that during both her pregnancies, she never even had an ultrasound; they just listened to the heartbeat with a stethoscope and called it a day. A lot of girls here use that terminology nowadays, and honestly, it drives me a little crazy because I know it's technically not being used correctly, but I guess that's just how people say it.

A friend caught me totally off guard today—she showed up in this dress... said it was from two days ago and just sitting in her closet, so she figured someone should actually wear it 😍... Honestly, it’s stunning. So romantic, exactly my style... I felt myself melting the second I slipped it on 😍.
What really struck me, though, was how lovely it was just grabbing coffee with her. We kept things light—just chatting about everything under the sun—and we barely even touched on the baby topic... It surprised me how much insight she had; she’s so incredibly understanding, which is a perspective I'm only just starting to grasp myself. And get this: she didn't even try to poke at my stomach—unlike some other "friends" who, the moment they say "hey girl!" immediately go for the belly.
It was genuinely refreshing 🙂, because usually, hanging out with the girls can be such a drain—the conversation always spirals into pregnancy and kids... 🤷 I don't know, maybe people think that's the only thing there is to talk about, like I'm just waiting for them to show interest in my pregnancy..

My bump gave me a surprise too... just like how 🤔 4 weeks ago it seemed to appear overnight, it's happened again—it jumped up a size practically while I slept. I felt a little tightness for 2 or 3 days and then—boom. Now I finally look like I'm actually pregnant, because before this, people rarely noticed unless I was wearing something tight; most just thought I'd had a massive lunch 😉... and frankly, about time I actually looked seven months pregnant 😂

The only thing that really gets under my skin lately is being asked: "What are you going to do about the cat?" 🙄 My Figo is such a good boy; he sleeps right in his own basket and nowhere else. Before the baby arrives, we’re taking him in for his checkup and neutering, so there won't be any issues.
Honestly, I wouldn't dream of getting rid of him now—he’s a full member of this family and we absolutely adore him. 😍

So I’m standing in line at Walmart today, and there’s this old lady right behind me—one of those typical, high-maintenance types you see all over Washington, D.C. out of nowhere, she just blurted out: "Oh, isn't it just lovely being surrounded by pregnant women? One in front, one behind... it really makes you feel like you aren't so heavy." A girl standing near us immediately shut her down: "I'm not pregnant." The woman just froze. Then she tries to get smart with me: "Well, how are you going to carry all that weight? What does your husband think of you?" So, on behalf of every overweight woman who gets mistaken for being pregnant, I gave her my best: "He left me as soon as he found out I was having a girl..." You should have seen her jaw drop. I just gave the girl next to me a little wink, grabbed my 20-pound watermelon, and walked out...

My girlfriends are constantly grilling me about my benefits, and the worst part is they forget everything every single time. I'm just gonna text them all and start sending out PDFs ☕
I’ve realized it’s honestly better to just stay away from people. Once they start getting on my nerves with their comments, I can't stop obsessing over why I didn't just snap back at them instead of playing nice.

So, I got this comment after an ultrasound in San Francisco the other day... and honestly, what even is that?

I told them, you can't tell because the gender was right up against the pubic bone....

"Ah... then it's a girl... because if it were a boy, you'd see the equipment."

What can I even say?🤦

Just a typical "Oh, so you're having a girl" remark. Like I'm supposed to be disappointed or something..😂

I don't really care though..☕

I honestly don't get why everyone is making excuses for this kind of backward thinking. People act like this stuff is just some unavoidable relic from the middle of nowhere or deep in the Central Valley, but it's just plain wrong. I actually stumbled upon a post on here recently where a woman was basically saying, "I can't even imagine being a mom to a girl... ufff. We haven't found out the sex yet, but I'm praying it's not a daughter, because that would be a nightmare." 😢 "

I don't hang out on this forum all that much, but I just had to jump in because it felt like nobody else was calling this out.

Man, that really broke my heart. 😢

Is there any point in dwelling on what was said?

rapiddrifter4 said:Honestly, I find the constant commentary regarding my large bump quite grating—as if I have some direct control over its shape or size just because the baby is growing fast... as though it's a choice I'm making daily.

The gender guessing games get under my skin too... everyone makes their predictions, and then when they’re wrong and it turns out to be another little girl, they act surprised. Personally, I am just profoundly grateful that the baby is healthy and thriving; the gender itself is entirely inconsequential to me.

Then there is the matter of the name we’ve chosen—Kko—which carries the lovely meaning of "dear." Everyone seems convinced they will inevitably end up calling him "Dragec"... well, they can certainly try.

It’s actually the exact opposite for me. When I mention how many weeks along I am, people act shocked because my fundal height seems too small. Now I find myself in the position of having to explain that the baby is measuring behind schedule, which is why my doctor has me coming in for more frequent monitoring. Meanwhile, whenever my husband hears one of those unsolicited comments, he immediately starts firing off replies to everyone in their private messages. 🤣

Is there any point in even discussing this?

Is there anything more predictably exhausting than the sequel? We’ve seen this pattern before, haven't we? A certain level of charm or novelty carries the first installment, only for the follow-up to stumble over its own ambition, leaving us to wonder if the original spark was merely a fluke or if the creators simply ran out of ideas halfway through. One has to ask: at what point does a franchise stop being an evolution and start becoming a repetitive exercise in diminishing returns? kaže: I have to say, I’m genuinely taken aback by people lately. It feels like basic decency has just vanished into thin air. Where did all that courtesy go? There isn't even a modicum of respect shown toward pregnant women anymore, let alone any sense of common courtesy. You find yourself standing there in line at Walmart, feeling practically invisible, while certain individuals just hover and glare as if they’re ready to shove you aside simply because they have a few items to grab. Is this really where we've landed? Honestly, what happened to having a little bit of grace?😕 Does a pregnant woman hold any real advantage in today's world? Honestly, it feels like they don't have an edge at all. If you’re heading out somewhere and want to cut the line, I suppose you’re expected to announce, "Excuse me, I'm pregnant, I get priority." But honestly, does anyone actually feel like doing that? If I were actually expecting, wouldn't it be obvious enough without the formal declaration? Why bother with the theatrics when the reality speaks for itself?...🤣

I’m signing on to this sentiment. It feels like people should be telling me that pregnant women get priority, especially since I am actually pregnant. I had an encounter at Walmart recently where some older gentleman tried to shove his way past me because he’d left his groceries sitting there while he went to grab something else—leaving a full cart right in the middle of the aisle. I simply stepped ahead of him since I only needed two items, and just as I reached the front of the line, there he was, swooping in to claim he was there first. I just looked at him and said, "No problem at all, sir, I'm in no rush," though we both knew exactly what was happening. 🙄

Is there anything more predictable than the cycle we find ourselves in? One wonders if we are truly moving forward or simply spinning our wheels in the same old patterns, waiting for a change that refuses to arrive.

Edward Williams8 said:The younger the mom, the stupider the advice. Is he back on his feet? It’s all man, it’s heartburn—it’s got nothing to do with you. Why didn't you go in for all the tests? You aren't actually going to wait until you're in labor to see a doctor? You just don't care about what you eat. Let's grab coffee. Your life is basically over in two months... My mother-in-law is out here asking me if I'm "normal" for buying things before the baby arrives, claiming it brings bad luck... WTF???? And then when I tell them we decided not to find out the gender, everyone immediately jumps in with: "Oh, it's definitely a girl!!!"

I’m experiencing all of this myself... everyone I know—and even those who don't—insisted I was having a boy, except for my sister-in-law. She’s had two sons, yet she looked at me and knew immediately it was a girl, which is exactly how it turned out. 🤣 Regarding buying baby clothes or anything else before the due date, my mom and my aunts always used to say to wait, but since last week—especially after my recent scare that nearly landed me in the hospital—I’ve realized it isn't a joke; I just need to get the essentials and be done with it. We may be religious, but we aren't exactly saints when it comes to following every rule to the letter...
And as for people telling you, "Oh, it's definitely a girl," I honestly have no words. It’s embarrassing... some people can be truly repulsive...

Douglas Booth22 said:The only thing that really gets under my skin lately is being asked: "What are you going to do about the cat?" 🙄 My Figo is such a good boy; he sleeps right in his own basket and nowhere else. Before the baby arrives, we’re taking him in for his checkup and neutering, so there won't be any issues.
Honestly, I wouldn't dream of getting rid of him now—he’s a full member of this family and we absolutely adore him. 😍

They’ve been asking me that throughout my entire pregnancy... just constant unsolicited advice. It’s as if they think I’m stupid or incapable, or like I’m the only person on Earth trying to manage a baby and a cat at the same time...

amberheron62 said:I honestly don't get why everyone is making excuses for this kind of backward thinking. People act like this stuff is just some unavoidable relic from the middle of nowhere or deep in the Central Valley, but it's just plain wrong. I actually stumbled upon a post on here recently where a woman was basically saying, "I can't even imagine being a mom to a girl... ufff. We haven't found out the sex yet, but I'm praying it's not a daughter, because that would be a nightmare." 😢 "

I don't hang out on this forum all that much, but I just had to jump in because it felt like nobody else was calling this out.

Man, that really broke my heart. 😢

Look, you don't have to take everything so literally—like, "Ugh, I'll be miserable if it's not a boy."

Personally, I can't picture myself raising a little boy... it just feels more natural for me to have girls. Ever since I started thinking about having my own kids, it's always been girls in my head. And well, I'll be a second-time girl mom soon enough. 🙂

But I'm not saying I'd be miserable or disappointed if it were a boy. It's just that I'd need some extra time to adjust to that reality. To me, this feels completely natural and normal, but... whatever word I pick, someone's going to twist it and take it the wrong way.

Great topic..

Here’s what really gets under my skin:

"Is the baby sleeping?" 😠
"Where are you taking the dog?" — like, where? Nowhere. It's staying right where it is.
"Don't eat this, don't eat that..." blah blah blah...
"You're holding them too low, that's not good." (My doctor actually told me I don't hold them low at all...)

It's just crazy how some people suddenly decide they're experts overnight.