Feeling Undervalued

feralhound55 said:Same here... I remember one time during a job interview process, I ended up being listed second—purely because of some stupid alphabetical order. Basically, someone else and I were both top candidates, but since my last name fell later in the alphabet, I was ranked second. And instead of my wonderful parents being happy that I actually landed the job (since we both got hired), they just poked at it... ugh, "well, you were only second." They said it with that tone of "see, I knew you weren't all that"... 🙄

Just tune it out and move on. At the end of the day, you're the only one who truly knows your worth. Some parents just don't know how to show affection—they can't even love properly because nobody ever showed them how. It's not really an excuse, but you don't have much choice but to accept them as they are. You just have to start loving yourself, even if it's tough when those old wounds run deep.

The thing is, kids (especially little ones) see their parents as god—like their entire universe. For obvious reasons. Everything they say feels like the absolute, undeniable truth. But once you grow up, you realize that's not quite right. They're just people, flawed just like the rest of us. You accept it and stop letting it get to you. Easier said than done, sure, but it's worth the effort.

It isn't just about effort; it's a necessity.

I was out with my mom and her 7-year-old daughter the other day. The kid is such a sweet, delicate little thing. Her mom is just miserable and completely dissatisfied with life. She took it all out on her daughter, though she probably didn't even realize she was doing it. The little girl was practically begging for a shred of approval—an impossible mission.👎

I'd bet anything that in five or six years, when she hits puberty, she'll be convinced she's incredibly ugly and will struggle to talk to anyone, especially guys.😢

I’m curious to hear what everyone here thinks about the tendency to underestimate people based on their career paths. I’ve personally experienced certain prejudices from others, seemingly because our professional backgrounds and qualifications don't align. To be honest, it’s never really bothered me, but I suppose it matters quite a bit to them. For instance, my work is more academic in nature—I teach at a university—and I’ve noticed that some people coming from completely different industries tend to treat me with a certain level of condescension, even though I’ve never felt the need to judge them for what they do. If I had to label those attitudes, I guess I’d call them prejudices; people make assumptions about who I am without ever actually getting to know me. For some reason, I just haven't been very well received by certain groups. What do you all think might be the underlying cause of this? 😁

urbanpilot36 said:I’m curious to hear what everyone here thinks about the tendency to underestimate people based on their career paths. I’ve personally experienced certain prejudices from others, seemingly because our professional backgrounds and qualifications don't align. To be honest, it’s never really bothered me, but I suppose it matters quite a bit to them. For instance, my work is more academic in nature—I teach at a university—and I’ve noticed that some people coming from completely different industries tend to treat me with a certain level of condescension, even though I’ve never felt the need to judge them for what they do. If I had to label those attitudes, I guess I’d call them prejudices; people make assumptions about who I am without ever actually getting to know me. For some reason, I just haven't been very well received by certain groups. What do you all think might be the underlying cause of this? 😁

It’s hardly surprising you’re running into that. Let’s be real: working in academia is a far cry from the grind of a major corporation, especially in the private sector.

Heh... I don't know if I'd really agree with that. At my university, on top of all the lectures and actual research, we're constantly grinding away at various projects. So, I guess our days are pretty much booked solid from start to finish. But I suppose the real issue isn't even about the workload; it’s more that the people I've been clashing with aren't even in my field, so there's no overlap in our professional lives at all. I'm focused on mechanical engineering, whereas they're just professional athletes. Honestly, they seem a bit overly full of themselves.

The only people who would ever dare to underestimate me are those struggling with alcohol addiction, and frankly, that’s only because I find it impossible to show any semblance of mercy toward them. I simply haven't developed any tolerance for that kind of behavior, largely because I’ve had to deal with several such instances within my own family. To put it plainly, I am talking about individuals who spend far too much of their lives huddled around a glass.

I honestly believe we need to make it a daily habit—almost a ritual—to tell ourselves this: enough is enough. We have to stop bowing down to anyone who tries to make us feel small, especially those deeply insecure or unsuccessful parents who think they can look down on us. At the end of the day, our worth isn't decided by them; it’s defined by how we see ourselves and God. 👍

Michelle Turner2 said:The only people who would ever dare to underestimate me are those struggling with alcohol addiction, and frankly, that’s only because I find it impossible to show any semblance of mercy toward them. I simply haven't developed any tolerance for that kind of behavior, largely because I’ve had to deal with several such instances within my own family. To put it plainly, I am talking about individuals who spend far too much of their lives huddled around a glass.

And drugs.

Alex Patel96 said:Do you ever feel like people just don't get you? For me, it’s a weird one: while everyone else seems to think I’m overachieving, the people who constantly underestimate me are actually my own parents. I guess it's not that uncommon, though. Even when there's plenty of objective proof that I've earned respect, they still manage to overlook it. Anyone else dealing with this kind of stuff?😠

I’m dealing with the exact same thing... My folks always insist on stepping in to do everything for me because they think I can't handle it. No matter what I manage to get done, they always find a way to nitpick and tell me it "isn't quite right."

urbanpilot36 said:Heh... I don't know if I'd really agree with that. At my university, on top of all the lectures and actual research, we're constantly grinding away at various projects. So, I guess our days are pretty much booked solid from start to finish. But I suppose the real issue isn't even about the workload; it’s more that the people I've been clashing with aren't even in my field, so there's no overlap in our professional lives at all. I'm focused on mechanical engineering, whereas they're just professional athletes. Honestly, they seem a bit overly full of themselves.

There’s this running joke among electricians and tech specialists where saying "a stupid mechanical engineer" is basically a redundant phrase. They throw it right in our faces, acting like it's just some harmless little jab.
I’ve also lost count of how many times I've heard, "You can have all the Master's degrees you want, but as an engineer, I actually know the craft better than you."
Then comes the stuff you’re talking about... people at university don't have a clue; they land projects through connections, fake their paperwork, and then claim we in the field are the ones who actually know how to get things done.
Before you know it, you've reached the point where everyone thinks Canadians are idiots, Americans are lazy, Mexicans are primitive, Americans are full of themselves, and Canadians are cold...
As nonsensical as those labels are, the logic is the same. Generalizing is pointless, and in these cases, it's just malicious. It's obvious that this kind of talk comes from pure insecurity. It’s clear they don't believe in themselves or their own abilities 🙂

There’s this one joke that kills me every single time:
What’s the difference between a female electrical engineer and a guinea pig?
There isn't one.
Because a guinea pig isn't actually a pig, and it sure as hell isn't from the ocean.
🙂
It hits home every time I hear it. 🙂🙂🙂

feralhound55 said:Same here... I remember one time during a job interview process, I ended up being listed second—purely because of some stupid alphabetical order. Basically, someone else and I were both top candidates, but since my last name fell later in the alphabet, I was ranked second. And instead of my wonderful parents being happy that I actually landed the job (since we both got hired), they just poked at it... ugh, "well, you were only second." They said it with that tone of "see, I knew you weren't all that"... 🙄

Just tune it out and move on. At the end of the day, you're the only one who truly knows your worth. Some parents just don't know how to show affection—they can't even love properly because nobody ever showed them how. It's not really an excuse, but you don't have much choice but to accept them as they are. You just have to start loving yourself, even if it's tough when those old wounds run deep.

The thing is, kids (especially little ones) see their parents as god—like their entire universe. For obvious reasons. Everything they say feels like the absolute, undeniable truth. But once you grow up, you realize that's not quite right. They're just people, flawed just like the rest of us. You accept it and stop letting it get to you. Easier said than done, sure, but it's worth the effort.

**Bolded part:** An apology from them isn't even worth a damn! Do they not understand what love is? Maybe they should try watching a movie, reading a book, or just taking a moment to reflect. Is that really too much to ask? It isn't! They just don't want to! They were raised by sadists and they grew to embrace that cruelty, so now they just force what they learned onto everyone else. And worst of all—they claim they love their children! 🙂

Anyone who tries to belittle you is just dealing with a massive inferiority complex. They feel small compared to you, so they attack your character and your life just to get a cheap ego boost.

slypuma17 said:Of course. 😁

It’s nearly impossible for parents to maintain any sense of objectivity when it comes to their kids—just as it is for children to view their parents through a neutral lens. There is always this tendency toward either overestimating or completely underestimating one another.

There is simply too much raw emotion involved, and it tends to cloud even the clearest judgment.

A parent HAS TO maintain that objectivity. Look, I love my kids to death... but they aren't some kind of little idols I worship blindly.

velvetsailor6 said:Anyone who tries to belittle you is just dealing with a massive inferiority complex. They feel small compared to you, so they attack your character and your life just to get a cheap ego boost.

I couldn't agree more. Seriously. I run into people like that all the time when I'm out on vacation at the beach. Back when I was younger and more sensitive, those comments would actually get to me—I'd end up in tears because they were being so condescending. But today? Honestly, I just brush them off with a polite smile and move on. It’s wild how many insecure people are actually out there; it’s enough to drive you crazy if you let it.

Alex Patel96 said:Do you ever feel like people just don't get you? For me, it’s a weird one: while everyone else seems to think I’m overachieving, the people who constantly underestimate me are actually my own parents. I guess it's not that uncommon, though. Even when there's plenty of objective proof that I've earned respect, they still manage to overlook it. Anyone else dealing with this kind of stuff?😠

My Life Story☕

crimsoncanyon97 said:My Life Story☕

It’s honestly terrifying. I ended up marrying a guy whose parents—well, let's just say they’ve mastered the art of underestimating people for a century—treated their other child, specifically a daughter, like the absolute center of their universe. I remember thinking to myself that maybe God isn't being fair, giving all that devotion to one person while others are left out in the cold. If you ask me why people act this way, it’s usually because you’re actually doing well for yourself, and that makes them uncomfortable. It's pure jealousy, even if that bitterness is being fueled by the parents themselves. Truly unsettling.