The psychology of a predator: Understanding the mindset toward victims

Alright, I want to get your take on this, and if anyone has links to actual professional studies or psychological deep dives, please drop them because I know they exist.

I’m strictly talking about male attackers where the victims are women here. And let’s just leave pedophilia out of this entirely—if we start opening that door, there’s no end to the rabbit hole.

Look, obviously you've got planned attacks or situations triggered by circumstances (you know, that classic pathetic excuse where they claim, "well, she was dressed like that" or "she was asking for it"), then you've got career criminals, psychopaths, or just some one-time offender... what I’m really digging into is the actual feeling toward the victim.
Is it some sudden, uncontrollable surge of attraction in that moment? Is it a weird obsession with a specific person? Or is it some kind of vendetta... or even pure hatred? Does science actually know what someone is supposed to be feeling when a person says "no"—and they just keep going anyway?

I don't know if this sounds stupid, but I’m especially curious to hear from the guys on here... what kind of headspace or circumstances would even lead a man to go down that path? (I know most of you wouldn't dream of it and we all pretty much share the same moral compass, but still... just think about it... try to visualize it... what would you actually have to feel toward a person to do that to them?)

Control and power... those patterns were decoded by psychologists and tribal leaders ages ago.

Jamie Davis9 said:Control and power... those patterns were decoded by psychologists and tribal leaders ages ago.

Is this some universal craving for dominance, or is it just specifically targeted at a particular victim? Like, when a predator actually corners someone, why is the goal to exert that absolute control over *that* specific person instead of, say, someone they just passed on the sidewalk fifteen minutes earlier? What is it that makes a potential target stand out in their twisted mind?

granitemason8 said:Is this some universal craving for dominance, or is it just specifically targeted at a particular victim? Like, when a predator actually corners someone, why is the goal to exert that absolute control over *that* specific person instead of, say, someone they just passed on the sidewalk fifteen minutes earlier? What is it that makes a potential target stand out in their twisted mind?

I honestly believe it’s entirely subjective, and while some predators might be driven by a specific obsession, others are likely just acting out whatever dark mood they happen to be in at the moment.

Power expressed through sexual submission....

You think you can just say no to me? Fine. Now I'm coming for you.

granitemason8 said:Alright, I want to get your take on this, and if anyone has links to actual professional studies or psychological deep dives, please drop them because I know they exist.

I’m strictly talking about male attackers where the victims are women here. And let’s just leave pedophilia out of this entirely—if we start opening that door, there’s no end to the rabbit hole.

Look, obviously you've got planned attacks or situations triggered by circumstances (you know, that classic pathetic excuse where they claim, "well, she was dressed like that" or "she was asking for it"), then you've got career criminals, psychopaths, or just some one-time offender... what I’m really digging into is the actual feeling toward the victim.
Is it some sudden, uncontrollable surge of attraction in that moment? Is it a weird obsession with a specific person? Or is it some kind of vendetta... or even pure hatred? Does science actually know what someone is supposed to be feeling when a person says "no"—and they just keep going anyway?

I don't know if this sounds stupid, but I’m especially curious to hear from the guys on here... what kind of headspace or circumstances would even lead a man to go down that path? (I know most of you wouldn't dream of it and we all pretty much share the same moral compass, but still... just think about it... try to visualize it... what would you actually have to feel toward a person to do that to them?)

It’s nothing but dominance. That’s how I see it. The individual has a desperate need to demonstrate power, but they can't do it against someone like Hulk (because he’d just crush them, right?). That is why their targets are always the most vulnerable—women and children.

In my view, sex is merely a tool—a medium used to manifest a hunger for superiority.

Man, I was really hoping to see more people weighing in here with their thoughts. But whatever. I’m still struggling to wrap my head around this whole thing. I mean, let’s be real—it’s not like random serial psychopaths are just wandering down a street in Chicago or LA raping every single person they pass by. It’s always specific individuals who know these women or have been watching them from the shadows... so what's the actual deal? Is it pure, concentrated hatred for women? Do they consciously wake up wanting to cause pain? Or is it some twisted, pathetic kind of attraction where they think violence is the only way to actually possess someone? Like some kind of sick, desperate greed for control.

Can someone walk me through how ejaculation even works for guys like that, if anyone actually knows?
I mean, even if a woman tries to tighten up down there, he still manages to penetrate. Does he get some kind of weird boost from that physical imbalance or something?

granitemason8 said:Is this some universal craving for dominance, or is it just specifically targeted at a particular victim? Like, when a predator actually corners someone, why is the goal to exert that absolute control over *that* specific person instead of, say, someone they just passed on the sidewalk fifteen minutes earlier? What is it that makes a potential target stand out in their twisted mind?

There are tons of maniacs out there who target girls they just met or even just people they spot walking down a street in Chicago or something—they'll start following them—but usually, it boils down to the fact that the person happens to look like someone they want to get back at.

Henry Moore2 said:There are tons of maniacs out there who target girls they just met or even just people they spot walking down a street in Chicago or something—they'll start following them—but usually, it boils down to the fact that the person happens to look like someone they want to get back at.

So there really is that revenge element baked into it after all... I mean, we're definitely talking pure hatred here...

granitemason8 said:So there really is that revenge element baked into it after all... I mean, we're definitely talking pure hatred here...

I've watched a bunch of those true crime documentaries where you see how men end up committing these assaults because they were abused by their mothers or just weren't loved growing up.
It's like one of those scenarios where a woman leaves him, and then he runs into someone else—maybe someone like me who happens to have the same hair or even just similar nails—and it just triggers something inside him. He attacks me, but in his head, he isn't seeing me at all; he's seeing her, and he's taking it out on her through me.

Who can say if they even possess a shred of empathy for the victim. At its core, this is nothing more than objectification. Does a predator feel any sympathy for the steak?

In my view, I’ve never fully bought into the idea that everything boils down to sexual attraction. There are a million different drivers—the need for control, power trips, revenge, deep-seated misogyny, and so on.
I’m certain those factors play a role, and for some offenders, that is precisely what drives them.
However, I am also convinced that for others, the motivation is purely sexual desire. We all know that not every woman is "easy" or willing to sleep with just anyone. Sometimes, someone simply wants them, and if they can't get their way through persuasion, they resort to force.

You see cases where someone was basically raised to believe the world owes them everything they ever wanted... and then they hit a wall when they realize that "no" applies to them too.
...they just don't respect other people. They move through life thinking everyone else exists solely to cater to their whims.

...I was talking to someone about a case involving the assault of a sex worker....
...and he actually argued that it wasn't even rape. His logic? He claimed it’s just her job, so she’s obligated to serve him. He thought if she refused, he had every right to just take what he wanted by force.
...this guy, let's call him Mike, was such a total mama's boy. He did whatever his mother said, and she treated him like he was the center of her universe—but honestly, she was just using him for emotional support and money.
...he used to get so worked up at her for dating anyone after his father walked out on the family... though he could never actually admit that was the real issue. Instead, he’d just act all indignant toward these random guys circling his mom, acting like they were beneath him when they really weren't.
I wouldn't be surprised if there was an Oedipal complex at play here... who knows.
...but he exclusively sought out sex workers or girls who had a string of short-lived flings and seemed a bit flighty.
....He never truly grew up. To the public, he was charming and smooth, but underneath that veneer, he was just a deeply frustrated, angry man.

cosmicpilot23 said:In my view, I’ve never fully bought into the idea that everything boils down to sexual attraction. There are a million different drivers—the need for control, power trips, revenge, deep-seated misogyny, and so on.
I’m certain those factors play a role, and for some offenders, that is precisely what drives them.
However, I am also convinced that for others, the motivation is purely sexual desire. We all know that not every woman is "easy" or willing to sleep with just anyone. Sometimes, someone simply wants them, and if they can't get their way through persuasion, they resort to force.

Rape isn't about sex. It’s about violence. He doesn't necessarily desire the girl; he wants to punish her, humiliate her, and prove his own power. If he actually liked her, he'd ask her out for coffee or try to flirt with her. How else would you explain why elderly women are so often targeted? Is it sexual desire? Because they rejected him?

Elvis Presley

Rebecca Scott3 said:You see cases where someone was basically raised to believe the world owes them everything they ever wanted... and then they hit a wall when they realize that "no" applies to them too.
...they just don't respect other people. They move through life thinking everyone else exists solely to cater to their whims.

...I was talking to someone about a case involving the assault of a sex worker....
...and he actually argued that it wasn't even rape. His logic? He claimed it’s just her job, so she’s obligated to serve him. He thought if she refused, he had every right to just take what he wanted by force.
...this guy, let's call him Mike, was such a total mama's boy. He did whatever his mother said, and she treated him like he was the center of her universe—but honestly, she was just using him for emotional support and money.
...he used to get so worked up at her for dating anyone after his father walked out on the family... though he could never actually admit that was the real issue. Instead, he’d just act all indignant toward these random guys circling his mom, acting like they were beneath him when they really weren't.
I wouldn't be surprised if there was an Oedipal complex at play here... who knows.
...but he exclusively sought out sex workers or girls who had a string of short-lived flings and seemed a bit flighty.
....He never truly grew up. To the public, he was charming and smooth, but underneath that veneer, he was just a deeply frustrated, angry man.

Yeah, I guess that’s why marital rape wasn't even a crime here until recently. Like, a wife was basically just her husband's property, so his behavior was considered normal. Thankfully, it's actually a felony now, just like if he grabbed some random girl in a park in Chicago.

Jerry Martinez5 said:Rape isn't about sex. It’s about violence. He doesn't necessarily desire the girl; he wants to punish her, humiliate her, and prove his own power. If he actually liked her, he'd ask her out for coffee or try to flirt with her. How else would you explain why elderly women are so often targeted? Is it sexual desire? Because they rejected him?

Look, if you think this only happens to old ladies, you're full of it. They get targeted because they're easy marks who can't fight back. And honestly, I haven't heard a single story where a rapist ended up in the ER because the victim fought him off with nails or teeth. Most people are just praying at that point rather than throwing hands. If some guy even tried that with me, he’d be catching a boot to the groin before he knew what hit him. And while we're at it, maybe you can explain why fat women aren't exactly the primary targets here either.

Jerry Martinez5 said:Rape isn't about sex. It’s about violence. He doesn't necessarily desire the girl; he wants to punish her, humiliate her, and prove his own power. If he actually liked her, he'd ask her out for coffee or try to flirt with her. How else would you explain why elderly women are so often targeted? Is it sexual desire? Because they rejected him?

👍 👍 👍

Roger Wilson7 said:Look, if you think this only happens to old ladies, you're full of it. They get targeted because they're easy marks who can't fight back. And honestly, I haven't heard a single story where a rapist ended up in the ER because the victim fought him off with nails or teeth. Most people are just praying at that point rather than throwing hands. If some guy even tried that with me, he’d be catching a boot to the groin before he knew what hit him. And while we're at it, maybe you can explain why fat women aren't exactly the primary targets here either.

Wow, you really went off the deep end with those theories.🙄
People get assaulted regardless of their weight, age, or anything else—the motives behind it are all over the map.
And let me tell you, if someone decides to target you, don't go thinking you're untouchable just because you might try to land a kick—unless, of course, you happen to have a black belt or something.
I actually had an encounter with a guy suffering from schizophrenia once; he came up behind me, grabbed me by the waist, and started dragging me toward his house. I can't even begin to describe how terrifying that was or how helpless I felt. In my head, I was thinking, "I'll hit him with my foot, my fist, my keys, my purse"—but in reality, in that exact moment, all you can do is scream.
I don't know what was going through his mind, but he was clearly unwell and completely obsessed with me—he thought I belonged to him, even though I never gave him any reason to think that. I was incredibly lucky that four guys passing by in a car saw what was happening and managed to pull me away.
It's nothing like the sanitized version you see in movies.