What moves would you make? I honestly have no idea.

After years of dealing with this, I’ve developed this nagging feeling—and I’m about 99% sure I'm right—that people are laughing at me. Life hasn't exactly been easy on me so far, and I think all those hardships and frustrations have just etched themselves onto my face. I live in a really small town where everyone knows everyone else's business.
I'm 29 now, and honestly, I feel like I haven't accomplished much. I'm not married (in this community, people expect you to already have two kids by now), I'm unemployed (even though I have my degree, there just aren't any jobs available), I don't have a serious partner, and I'm not particularly good-looking—which is something I struggle to accept myself. Because I feel like a failure, I rarely go out, and when I do, the reaction from people—both younger and older—is usually mockery or avoidance. It makes me terrified to go out, and when I finally do, I end up looking visibly anxious. Based on how they act, I can tell they think my face looks ridiculous, or that I'm just some loser who hasn't achieved anything in life.
All of this just makes life feel so heavy and low-quality. On top of everything else, it completely crushes my self-esteem and leaves me feeling miserable, even though I've never done anything to hurt anyone. I find myself wondering why people seem to dislike or even hate me...
Sure, it's their right to judge me how they want, but I just don't know how to stop it from getting to me. That's the part that's really eating away at me. Why does it have to be this way?
Again, I keep coming back to the fact that I haven't been mean to anyone or mocked anyone, so there shouldn't be a reason for this. I sit there wondering why people are like this, why they seem to want to see me struggling. Why should they care, when I'm just living my own life?
I really need someone to talk to. I could use some advice on how to deal with these feelings and work through this internally. I truly don't know what the solution is... I'm 29, after all.

ironwolf82 said:After years of dealing with this, I’ve developed this nagging feeling—and I’m about 99% sure I'm right—that people are laughing at me. Life hasn't exactly been easy on me so far, and I think all those hardships and frustrations have just etched themselves onto my face. I live in a really small town where everyone knows everyone else's business.
I'm 29 now, and honestly, I feel like I haven't accomplished much. I'm not married (in this community, people expect you to already have two kids by now), I'm unemployed (even though I have my degree, there just aren't any jobs available), I don't have a serious partner, and I'm not particularly good-looking—which is something I struggle to accept myself. Because I feel like a failure, I rarely go out, and when I do, the reaction from people—both younger and older—is usually mockery or avoidance. It makes me terrified to go out, and when I finally do, I end up looking visibly anxious. Based on how they act, I can tell they think my face looks ridiculous, or that I'm just some loser who hasn't achieved anything in life.
All of this just makes life feel so heavy and low-quality. On top of everything else, it completely crushes my self-esteem and leaves me feeling miserable, even though I've never done anything to hurt anyone. I find myself wondering why people seem to dislike or even hate me...
Sure, it's their right to judge me how they want, but I just don't know how to stop it from getting to me. That's the part that's really eating away at me. Why does it have to be this way?
Again, I keep coming back to the fact that I haven't been mean to anyone or mocked anyone, so there shouldn't be a reason for this. I sit there wondering why people are like this, why they seem to want to see me struggling. Why should they care, when I'm just living my own life?
I really need someone to talk to. I could use some advice on how to deal with these feelings and work through this internally. I truly don't know what the solution is... I'm 29, after all.

Honestly, you could start working on yourself just by looking at this post. You sound so incredibly insecure. If you had any focus, you wouldn't be rambling like this. You aren't just tearing yourself down; you clearly lack the concentration to even see how much you're repeating yourself. You seem stuck in this constant loop of panic and rushing.

You need to find a serious therapist to help you rebuild your self-esteem from the ground up. And honestly? You need a job. You need somewhere to go where you can actually prove what you're capable of. That’s how you build real confidence and start believing in yourself again. 👍

If you don't help yourself, even God won't be able to help you! 🙏

(Never forget that old saying)! 😉

Ronald Rogers27

A fresh start
moving to a bigger city, maybe somewhere like Chicago or Austin
meeting new people and building actual friendships
finding work and hobbies that actually matter—stuff that makes you feel useful instead of just busy
and then there's the whole thing about working on your self-esteem.
See, no therapist, no psychiatrist, and no high-priced counselor can teach you how to love yourself—especially if you haven't even figured out what that means yet—unless you make that choice for yourself first.
Once you hit that point, you won't really need to pay for psychological help anymore.
Also, just a heads-up: there are hidden sadists lurking on these forums, so just ignore them. Take post number 2, for instance.

ironwolf82 said:After years of dealing with this, I’ve developed this nagging feeling—and I’m about 99% sure I'm right—that people are laughing at me. Life hasn't exactly been easy on me so far, and I think all those hardships and frustrations have just etched themselves onto my face. I live in a really small town where everyone knows everyone else's business.
I'm 29 now, and honestly, I feel like I haven't accomplished much. I'm not married (in this community, people expect you to already have two kids by now), I'm unemployed (even though I have my degree, there just aren't any jobs available), I don't have a serious partner, and I'm not particularly good-looking—which is something I struggle to accept myself. Because I feel like a failure, I rarely go out, and when I do, the reaction from people—both younger and older—is usually mockery or avoidance. It makes me terrified to go out, and when I finally do, I end up looking visibly anxious. Based on how they act, I can tell they think my face looks ridiculous, or that I'm just some loser who hasn't achieved anything in life.
All of this just makes life feel so heavy and low-quality. On top of everything else, it completely crushes my self-esteem and leaves me feeling miserable, even though I've never done anything to hurt anyone. I find myself wondering why people seem to dislike or even hate me...
Sure, it's their right to judge me how they want, but I just don't know how to stop it from getting to me. That's the part that's really eating away at me. Why does it have to be this way?
Again, I keep coming back to the fact that I haven't been mean to anyone or mocked anyone, so there shouldn't be a reason for this. I sit there wondering why people are like this, why they seem to want to see me struggling. Why should they care, when I'm just living my own life?
I really need someone to talk to. I could use some advice on how to deal with these feelings and work through this internally. I truly don't know what the solution is... I'm 29, after all.

......................................
...I'm 69 years old.....and I haven't accomplished very much in my lifetime either....
....life hasn't been easy.....plenty of frustrations.....so many traumas have piled up....it's left its mark on me mentally....and often, you can see it physically too.....I live in a community I'm still getting to know........and there are very few people I actually want to spend real time with.....not that I can't stand them.....it's just that I'm perfectly happy being by myself....
I've completed several degrees.....I don't have a steady career.....I don't have money beyond just making ends meet day to day....

And yet........my life is beautiful......I love heading out into nature.....I love listening to music out in the wild.....especially classical music in the middle of a forest.....
...life is beautiful.....because I am a traveler who manages to clear every obstacle in the path... or bypass it... or jump over it... or just move it out of the way....
...and I find joy specifically because I know I can walk through this world on my own two feet.....

As for the people in my neck of the woods, they show up for a while.....and then they're gone......
...they are transient.....and we are transient too.....
...I won't let them dictate how I live my life if they aren't willing to walk beside me on the journey......
....if a place doesn't offer anything good for me....I just pack up and move on...
.....because the world exists for me....and I exist to enjoy and explore it....

Go out into the fields....go up into the mountains....
...go somewhere where you can be out in the open and alone......and look around you.....look closely and write down everything you see......keep a journal of your days......
...one day you'll realize who you truly are in this vast world...
....learn from nature while you are still young.....
...and once you've grown stronger, go out among the people and just observe them....
.... just sit back, watch how they handle things, and take notes...... eventually, you'll figure out exactly what's right for you....

...to really live is to never stop learning....

Rebecca Scott3 said:......................................
...I'm 69 years old.....and I haven't accomplished very much in my lifetime either....
....life hasn't been easy.....plenty of frustrations.....so many traumas have piled up....it's left its mark on me mentally....and often, you can see it physically too.....I live in a community I'm still getting to know........and there are very few people I actually want to spend real time with.....not that I can't stand them.....it's just that I'm perfectly happy being by myself....
I've completed several degrees.....I don't have a steady career.....I don't have money beyond just making ends meet day to day....

And yet........my life is beautiful......I love heading out into nature.....I love listening to music out in the wild.....especially classical music in the middle of a forest.....
...life is beautiful.....because I am a traveler who manages to clear every obstacle in the path... or bypass it... or jump over it... or just move it out of the way....
...and I find joy specifically because I know I can walk through this world on my own two feet.....

As for the people in my neck of the woods, they show up for a while.....and then they're gone......
...they are transient.....and we are transient too.....
...I won't let them dictate how I live my life if they aren't willing to walk beside me on the journey......
....if a place doesn't offer anything good for me....I just pack up and move on...
.....because the world exists for me....and I exist to enjoy and explore it....

Go out into the fields....go up into the mountains....
...go somewhere where you can be out in the open and alone......and look around you.....look closely and write down everything you see......keep a journal of your days......
...one day you'll realize who you truly are in this vast world...
....learn from nature while you are still young.....
...and once you've grown stronger, go out among the people and just observe them....
.... just sit back, watch how they handle things, and take notes...... eventually, you'll figure out exactly what's right for you....

...to really live is to never stop learning....

A beautiful sentiment.

ironwolf82 said:After years of dealing with this, I’ve developed this nagging feeling—and I’m about 99% sure I'm right—that people are laughing at me. Life hasn't exactly been easy on me so far, and I think all those hardships and frustrations have just etched themselves onto my face. I live in a really small town where everyone knows everyone else's business.
I'm 29 now, and honestly, I feel like I haven't accomplished much. I'm not married (in this community, people expect you to already have two kids by now), I'm unemployed (even though I have my degree, there just aren't any jobs available), I don't have a serious partner, and I'm not particularly good-looking—which is something I struggle to accept myself. Because I feel like a failure, I rarely go out, and when I do, the reaction from people—both younger and older—is usually mockery or avoidance. It makes me terrified to go out, and when I finally do, I end up looking visibly anxious. Based on how they act, I can tell they think my face looks ridiculous, or that I'm just some loser who hasn't achieved anything in life.
All of this just makes life feel so heavy and low-quality. On top of everything else, it completely crushes my self-esteem and leaves me feeling miserable, even though I've never done anything to hurt anyone. I find myself wondering why people seem to dislike or even hate me...
Sure, it's their right to judge me how they want, but I just don't know how to stop it from getting to me. That's the part that's really eating away at me. Why does it have to be this way?
Again, I keep coming back to the fact that I haven't been mean to anyone or mocked anyone, so there shouldn't be a reason for this. I sit there wondering why people are like this, why they seem to want to see me struggling. Why should they care, when I'm just living my own life?
I really need someone to talk to. I could use some advice on how to deal with these feelings and work through this internally. I truly don't know what the solution is... I'm 29, after all.

Are you fighting against yourself, or are you trying to fight for yourself?

ironwolf82 Asks:
After years of experience, I am almost certain that people mock me. Life has been incredibly difficult for me, and the weight of all those hardships and frustrations is written all over my face. I live in a tiny town where everyone knows everyone else's business.
I am 29 years old, and I feel as though I have achieved very little. I am not married—though my community expects me to have two children by now—and I am currently unemployed despite having a college degree. I lack a serious relationship, and I struggle deeply with my appearance and my ability to attract women. It is difficult to face. I rarely venture out because I feel like such a failure. When I do, people—both young and old—immediately mock me or look away. It makes me terrified to leave the house, and when I am out, I just look panicked. Based on how they react, I can tell they think my face is a joke and that I'm just some idiot who hasn't accomplished anything in life. All of this leaves me feeling incredibly low, and my quality of life feels diminished. On top of my existing struggles, this constant blow to my self-esteem makes me truly unhappy. I have never intentionally caused harm to anyone. I find myself wondering why people harbor such resentment toward me. Why am I so disliked?It is their right to judge me however they please. Yet, I struggle deeply to stop it from hurting. This weighs heavily on my heart. Why is that?
I will say this again: I have done no harm to anyone, nor have I mocked a single soul. There is simply no reason for such hostility. I sit here wondering why people act this way—why they seem to crave seeing me struggle or suffer. Why does it matter? I am merely living my life, and that should be enough.
I could really use someone to talk to. I need some advice on how to overcome my own internal struggles. I truly don't know how to find a way forward. I am 29 years old.

You are overthinking this. Most people around us rarely look past their own immediate needs, regardless of how we perceive them. We are all the protagonists of our own stories. Please, don't be so hard on yourself. The only person who truly dislikes you in this thread is you. To everyone else, you are likely just a shadow. It is up to you to use your actions and attitudes to help them see you as a unique, positive, and engaged individual. People are easy to influence—it's just that you seem to hesitate at the very first step.
If you aren't happy with where you are, you can always pack your bags and move on. Perhaps you simply weren't meant to stay in this small town.

And yes, since you are a man, if you want things to follow their natural course, you really should have a job. Always. It isn't necessarily about working in your specific field, but if you plan on being unemployed, you simply must find work. 👎Let’s be honest: no woman wants a guy who can't even afford a cup of coffee. How is a man like that supposed to provide for a family?
Nobody wants to back a guy whose crew needs funding, and he's never even willing to buy a round.
Nobody wants to be around someone who has nothing to offer but constant complaints. It is quite draining.
Is there anyone else? Perhaps just my mother.
So, grow up. 👍
No one is to blame for the circumstances they struggled to survive, but the past shouldn't be allowed to dictate the future. We have so much power to change our lives; we just often lack the awareness to see it. For instance, if you spend twenty-nine years in a tiny rural town, you feel old—but move to New York City, and suddenly you’re just getting started. Who even thinks about marriage before thirty in a place like that? One must learn to distinguish between their own true convictions and the toxic attitudes imposed by a small-town environment.

Adam Miller46 said:

ironwolf82 Asks:
After years of experience, I am almost certain that people mock me. Life has been incredibly difficult for me, and the weight of all those hardships and frustrations is written all over my face. I live in a tiny town where everyone knows everyone else's business.
I am 29 years old, and I feel as though I have achieved very little. I am not married—though my community expects me to have two children by now—and I am currently unemployed despite having a college degree. I lack a serious relationship, and I struggle deeply with my appearance and my ability to attract women. It is difficult to face. I rarely venture out because I feel like such a failure. When I do, people—both young and old—immediately mock me or look away. It makes me terrified to leave the house, and when I am out, I just look panicked. Based on how they react, I can tell they think my face is a joke and that I'm just some idiot who hasn't accomplished anything in life. All of this leaves me feeling incredibly low, and my quality of life feels diminished. On top of my existing struggles, this constant blow to my self-esteem makes me truly unhappy. I have never intentionally caused harm to anyone. I find myself wondering why people harbor such resentment toward me. Why am I so disliked?It is their right to judge me however they please. Yet, I struggle deeply to stop it from hurting. This weighs heavily on my heart. Why is that?
I will say this again: I have done no harm to anyone, nor have I mocked a single soul. There is simply no reason for such hostility. I sit here wondering why people act this way—why they seem to crave seeing me struggle or suffer. Why does it matter? I am merely living my life, and that should be enough.
I could really use someone to talk to. I need some advice on how to overcome my own internal struggles. I truly don't know how to find a way forward. I am 29 years old.

You are overthinking this. Most people around us rarely look past their own immediate needs, regardless of how we perceive them. We are all the protagonists of our own stories. Please, don't be so hard on yourself. The only person who truly dislikes you in this thread is you. To everyone else, you are likely just a shadow. It is up to you to use your actions and attitudes to help them see you as a unique, positive, and engaged individual. People are easy to influence—it's just that you seem to hesitate at the very first step.
If you aren't happy with where you are, you can always pack your bags and move on. Perhaps you simply weren't meant to stay in this small town.

And yes, since you are a man, if you want things to follow their natural course, you really should have a job. Always. It isn't necessarily about working in your specific field, but if you plan on being unemployed, you simply must find work. 👎Let’s be honest: no woman wants a guy who can't even afford a cup of coffee. How is a man like that supposed to provide for a family?
Nobody wants to back a guy whose crew needs funding, and he's never even willing to buy a round.
Nobody wants to be around someone who has nothing to offer but constant complaints. It is quite draining.
Is there anyone else? Perhaps just my mother.
So, grow up. 👍
No one is to blame for the circumstances they struggled to survive, but the past shouldn't be allowed to dictate the future. We have so much power to change our lives; we just often lack the awareness to see it. For instance, if you spend twenty-nine years in a tiny rural town, you feel old—but move to New York City, and suddenly you’re just getting started. Who even thinks about marriage before thirty in a place like that? One must learn to distinguish between their own true convictions and the toxic attitudes imposed by a small-town environment.

🤣

Oh, excuse me, honey, so what is it a woman needs to do for things to go their "natural course"????????????????

Have a working man on standby (even if he's in the wrong field)? 🙄

I see you edited your post, but it didn't change a single thing about what was already said...

Sandra Parker3 said:🤣

Oh, excuse me, honey, so what is it a woman needs to do for things to go their "natural course"????????????????

Have a working man on standby (even if he's in the wrong field)? 🙄

I see you edited your post, but it didn't change a single thing about what was already said...

There you go again, picking a fight! You never tire of it... honestly, how would I manage without you? 🤷
If she were a woman, hmmm, he wouldn't even need a college degree. You know those guys from the rural Midwest—they really value a good homemaker. ☕

By the way, you should really take a look at his thread from last year. He’s only 26, and he’s out there working some farm somewhere in the Midwest.👎

Adam Miller46 said:There you go again, picking a fight! You never tire of it... honestly, how would I manage without you? 🤷
If she were a woman, hmmm, he wouldn't even need a college degree. You know those guys from the rural Midwest—they really value a good homemaker. ☕

I'm not fighting, I was just asking you a serious question about why a man is expected to have a job "because he's a man"🙄

So, did you just say something you didn't actually mean again? 🤷

Adam Miller46 said:There you go again, picking a fight! You never tire of it... honestly, how would I manage without you? 🤷
If she were a woman, hmmm, he wouldn't even need a college degree. You know those guys from the rural Midwest—they really value a good homemaker. ☕

It wasn't about having a degree, it was about employment and having actual, tangible money to work with—like being able to buy a round for your friends, or just not relying on someone else for everything
or are you suggesting it's perfectly fine for a woman to be supported while the man acts as the sole provider?

I have no idea where you got the notion that guys from the Midwest value housewives more than anyone else, but even if that were true, being a "housewife" doesn't mean you can't have a degree, and just because someone doesn't have a degree doesn't mean they aren't educated... or automatically unemployed, it's just a circular argument

Or do you honestly think guys from small towns are just old-fashioned and want their wives to stay at home? 😁
Maybe they just want total control, and let's face it, there's no better way to exert control than through finances, at least initially

Or, quite simply, you just weren't thinking 🤷

velvetsailor26 said:By the way, you should really take a look at his thread from last year. He’s only 26, and he’s out there working some farm somewhere in the Midwest.👎

Oh, please, you’re reading all this junk too? People around here are actually pretty sharp.
Honestly, your takes on his original post are way more interesting than the actual post itself. 😉

Sandra Parker3 said:I'm not fighting, I was just asking you a serious question about why a man is expected to have a job "because he's a man"🙄

So, did you just say something you didn't actually mean again? 🤷

It wasn't about having a degree, it was about employment and having actual, tangible money to work with—like being able to buy a round for your friends, or just not relying on someone else for everything
or are you suggesting it's perfectly fine for a woman to be supported while the man acts as the sole provider?

I have no idea where you got the notion that guys from the Midwest value housewives more than anyone else, but even if that were true, being a "housewife" doesn't mean you can't have a degree, and just because someone doesn't have a degree doesn't mean they aren't educated... or automatically unemployed, it's just a circular argument

Or do you honestly think guys from small towns are just old-fashioned and want their wives to stay at home? 😁
Maybe they just want total control, and let's face it, there's no better way to exert control than through finances, at least initially

Or, quite simply, you just weren't thinking 🤷

Looking at the bolded parts, regarding money, anything is possible. But realistically, a guy from a small town can't expect Ivanka Trump to parachute out of a helicopter, land on his family farm, propose to him, and offer financial security followed by a fairy tale ending of "happily ever after." Maybe you're that soft-hearted, but we aren't all the same.
☕
And most men from rural areas appreciate women who are more home-oriented—you know, people who enjoy cooking, baking, and raising kids. I haven't heard of a single farmer looking for a corporate manager, nor vice versa.
If you have an example that can change my mind, please, lay it on me.....
I'm not counting men who grew up in the country but spend all their time in the city.
Also, I'm fairly certain no woman looking for a serious relationship dreams of a man whose outings, even just grabbing coffee, are funded by his parents... unless she's "charitable" like you.😁

ironwolf82,

Since you mentioned that you don't get out much, I suspect that when people actually do cross paths with you, they might feel the urge to take a little swipe at you with their comments... and honestly, in some of those more small-minded, rural areas, folks think it’s actually witty or funny to make someone the butt of the joke... 🙄 😬

Perhaps you should try throwing yourself into the mix with those "sharks" a bit more often. If I may be so bold, I think your biggest hurdle is actually within yourself. If you could just find the courage to strike up a conversation with a few of them, you’d likely realize that people aren't nearly as intimidating or self-assured as they appear to be. In fact, quite a few of those people who spend their time poking and prodding others are really just trying to distract everyone from their own deep-seated insecurities.

As for not having "achieved" anything? Well, that is entirely a matter of perspective. You have your college degree... and let me tell you, there is absolutely nothing written in stone that says people who are already married with two kids by this age are actually happy or fulfilled—nor can we say for certain they'll still be satisfied five, ten, or fifteen years down the road. All these milestones are incredibly relative. For all we know, they might be fighting like cats and dogs at home. Or maybe they lack the education or training to ensure they won't struggle to find any other work if they lose their current job.

You have a diploma in your hand, so I truly don't understand why you aren't following that path. Go out there and actively HUNT for a job; opportunities aren't just going to drop from the sky while you wait... besides, a change of scenery might actually do you a world of good for several different reasons. Get yourself out to a larger environment, a bigger hub, a major metropolitan area.

In those big cities, even someone with your specific temperament can carve out a space for themselves and encounter plenty of people who are just like them. 😍

Ted Bundy once had something to say about this kind of thing:

I’ve known people who just radiated vulnerability. Their facial expressions practically screamed, "Please hurt me." These types of people seem to invite abuse... If they’re constantly expecting to be wounded, is there some part of them actually triggering it?

Now, let’s be clear—Theodore Roosevelt wasn't exactly a model citizen or a sane individual, but you can't really argue with his grasp of human psychology.

ironwolf82, pull yourself together. Stop whining. Take action. You're young, you're healthy—go out there and do something. Meet people. Start valuing yourself, because if you don't, you shouldn't be surprised when nobody else does either.

Because honestly, if you stay exactly the way you are right now, you're nothing more than prey for the various Bundys of the world.

Adam Miller46 said:Looking at the bolded parts, regarding money, anything is possible. But realistically, a guy from a small town can't expect Ivanka Trump to parachute out of a helicopter, land on his family farm, propose to him, and offer financial security followed by a fairy tale ending of "happily ever after." Maybe you're that soft-hearted, but we aren't all the same.
☕
And most men from rural areas appreciate women who are more home-oriented—you know, people who enjoy cooking, baking, and raising kids. I haven't heard of a single farmer looking for a corporate manager, nor vice versa.
If you have an example that can change my mind, please, lay it on me.....
I'm not counting men who grew up in the country but spend all their time in the city.
Also, I'm fairly certain no woman looking for a serious relationship dreams of a man whose outings, even just grabbing coffee, are funded by his parents... unless she's "charitable" like you.😁

Look, if you want to imply it’s actually the other way around, that's totally fine by me.
I honestly can't even be bothered to comment on all this jumping around nonsense.

Adam Miller46 said:Looking at the bolded parts, regarding money, anything is possible. But realistically, a guy from a small town can't expect Ivanka Trump to parachute out of a helicopter, land on his family farm, propose to him, and offer financial security followed by a fairy tale ending of "happily ever after." Maybe you're that soft-hearted, but we aren't all the same.
☕
And most men from rural areas appreciate women who are more home-oriented—you know, people who enjoy cooking, baking, and raising kids. I haven't heard of a single farmer looking for a corporate manager, nor vice versa.
If you have an example that can change my mind, please, lay it on me.....
I'm not counting men who grew up in the country but spend all their time in the city.
Also, I'm fairly certain no woman looking for a serious relationship dreams of a man whose outings, even just grabbing coffee, are funded by his parents... unless she's "charitable" like you.😁

Seriously, have you forgotten that I’m completely broke right now, or what?🤔 I honestly can't remember what you were complaining about being "extracted" from last time.

Adam Miller46 said:Looking at the bolded parts, regarding money, anything is possible. But realistically, a guy from a small town can't expect Ivanka Trump to parachute out of a helicopter, land on his family farm, propose to him, and offer financial security followed by a fairy tale ending of "happily ever after." Maybe you're that soft-hearted, but we aren't all the same.
☕
And most men from rural areas appreciate women who are more home-oriented—you know, people who enjoy cooking, baking, and raising kids. I haven't heard of a single farmer looking for a corporate manager, nor vice versa.
If you have an example that can change my mind, please, lay it on me.....
I'm not counting men who grew up in the country but spend all their time in the city.
Also, I'm fairly certain no woman looking for a serious relationship dreams of a man whose outings, even just grabbing coffee, are funded by his parents... unless she's "charitable" like you.😁

I don't see any point in trying to talk sense into you, since I've already figured out exactly where you stand.
Honestly, I’m just looking to squeeze a little more out of you—sort of like a bit of self-inflicted torture.

And you think it’s just small towns, farming, and cookies? That's all there is to it, huh?

Adam Miller46 said:Looking at the bolded parts, regarding money, anything is possible. But realistically, a guy from a small town can't expect Ivanka Trump to parachute out of a helicopter, land on his family farm, propose to him, and offer financial security followed by a fairy tale ending of "happily ever after." Maybe you're that soft-hearted, but we aren't all the same.
☕
And most men from rural areas appreciate women who are more home-oriented—you know, people who enjoy cooking, baking, and raising kids. I haven't heard of a single farmer looking for a corporate manager, nor vice versa.
If you have an example that can change my mind, please, lay it on me.....
I'm not counting men who grew up in the country but spend all their time in the city.
Also, I'm fairly certain no woman looking for a serious relationship dreams of a man whose outings, even just grabbing coffee, are funded by his parents... unless she's "charitable" like you.😁

Well, if possible, let's aim for somewhere in Chicago. 🙄🤣

Adam Miller46 said:Looking at the bolded parts, regarding money, anything is possible. But realistically, a guy from a small town can't expect Ivanka Trump to parachute out of a helicopter, land on his family farm, propose to him, and offer financial security followed by a fairy tale ending of "happily ever after." Maybe you're that soft-hearted, but we aren't all the same.
☕
And most men from rural areas appreciate women who are more home-oriented—you know, people who enjoy cooking, baking, and raising kids. I haven't heard of a single farmer looking for a corporate manager, nor vice versa.
If you have an example that can change my mind, please, lay it on me.....
I'm not counting men who grew up in the country but spend all their time in the city.
Also, I'm fairly certain no woman looking for a serious relationship dreams of a man whose outings, even just grabbing coffee, are funded by his parents... unless she's "charitable" like you.😁

I'm honestly just curious, purely out of interest, what exactly defines a "woman for a serious relationship" in your book?

The fact that you're circling back to attack me again, well, I get it. 🙏

It’s not like I ever claimed an unemployed man is some kind of "dream guy" that some Trump should be funding; I was simply addressing your obsession with the necessity of having a job (which basically means financial independence) specifically when it comes to men
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For your information, very few men dream of a woman whose parents foot the bill for their dates, so naturally, he'll eventually step up and take over that role himself. It's not that they don't exist, but unlike you, I don't view it as "charity"—it's actually quite the opposite
or maybe it is "charity," but directed toward oneself
but hey, you could argue either way, I guess

Honestly, you all are absolutely right. Every single thing you’ve written here makes so much sense and really means a lot to me. I feel like I'm getting such incredible advice and genuine support from this group. Thank you so much!
Thank you, Maria Callas, for that beautiful post, and thanks to Adam Miller46 and Robert Reyes34 for those posts that are just brutally honest and hit home
to wake me up a bit while I'm reading...
Larry Kern2, I really relate to what you said—I'm basically 99% like that. That's how I present myself to the world, just being vulnerable.
Quincy:

I've known people who just radiate vulnerability. Their facial expressions practically say, "Please don't hurt me." Those kinds of people often attract mistreatment... If they expect to be hurt, are they somehow inviting it?

People definitely notice that, I'm 100% sure of it.
Reading through your posts and reflecting on my own nature, I've realized the core issue is with myself. I need to learn to accept who I am and carry that identity with pride. If I can actually manage to do that, I think a lot of things would start falling into place—my career, my relationships, everything 🙂.

ironwolf82... wouldn't you think all those hurdles you've jumped over would have actually made you tougher by now?? Or maybe you just need more drama to feel alive and you're making stuff up???... honestly, go save up some cash... head over to a big city—maybe check out a specialized center for kids with special needs in Chicago or something—and then you'll see what real struggle looks like. I bet you know what they care about? They don't give a damn about whether someone is pretty or not. You're just spending your whole life whining... at the end of the day, you're the one responsible for this mess, so quit blaming everyone else 🤷

You know, I was watching this nature documentary the other day about lions stalking antelope out on the savanna. It’s fascinating how they don't just charge blindly; they actually pick their target based on who looks the most vulnerable—basically whoever they think won't be able to run very fast. Honestly, you see that same pattern in people all the time. In some ways, certain people can be even more cutthroat than wild animals, because while a lion is just trying to eat, humans do it for much darker reasons. My best advice? Just never let them see you sweat. Keep your head up, look them straight in the eye, and don't give them an inch of an opening. You'll be fine.☕Just a little bit about my own life lately: I'm 30, single, and currently between jobs until the new year starts, so I've been living on unemployment for the moment. As for my love life, well... I've gone out on a couple of dates with this one girl, so we'll just have to see where things go from here. It's nothing spectacular right now, but I'm staying positive and not complaining.☕

I realized I forgot to mention that I don’t exactly consider myself a supermodel or anything, so I feel like I have to work a little harder to make an impression from a different angle. It’s funny because women generally gravitate toward confidence, though sometimes they take that a step too far and end up falling for those incredibly obnoxious jerks, or even guys with actual criminal records, ☕but obviously, not every woman is wired that way. 😉As for moving to a new city, I wouldn't really suggest making that jump unless you've already lined up a killer job waiting for you there.