Selfishness, dissatisfaction, genetics, or something else?

It’s just a waste of energy focusing on an idiot... there's that old saying, "blood is thicker than water," I suppose.

Hopefully they at least have the numbers for 911 or emergency services memorized if things actually kick off.

Alex Bennett3 said:It’s just a waste of energy focusing on an idiot... there's that old saying, "blood is thicker than water," I suppose.

Hopefully they at least have the numbers for 911 or emergency services memorized if things actually kick off.

Man, I wish it were that easy... It would be so much better if this just went away. But because they're so intertwined, I don't see how I can ever shake them.

They all act like they're just waiting for everyone to move to different sides of town (at least, that's what they tell me), but they don't realize how tight-knit they actually are. Moving just one neighborhood over won't change a thing...

And honestly, splitting up a family isn't something I want to do.

oh, and one more thing... I put "genetics" in the subject line because my dad was exactly like that.

Megan White4 said:And it could certainly veer into the histrionic...

I did a little reading on some texts and yeah, that might be it... fits both the cause and the behavior pattern perfectly.

Jason Sanchez3 said:Yeah, everything is being handled wrong......
And nobody wants to actually talk about it, even though he gets worse by the day..
He can get away with anything... there are zero consequences...
No tough love...
Just constant enabling in hopes that things will magically improve.

It's wild, but he gets this special royal treatment specifically because of how he acts, mostly because his mom clings to those rare moments when he's actually being normal.

Oh, and he's 27 now.

He’s 27 and still living at home? That’s just wrong, diagnosis or not. And honestly, it isn't just him being unstable—it's his mother and everyone else in that house who has to deal with it.

The first step would be politely telling him he needs to move out. Then, maybe, next time he visits, you just show him the door the second he makes a scene.

Jerry Martinez5 said:He’s 27 and still living at home? That’s just wrong, diagnosis or not. And honestly, it isn't just him being unstable—it's his mother and everyone else in that house who has to deal with it.

The first step would be politely telling him he needs to move out. Then, maybe, next time he visits, you just show him the door the second he makes a scene.

Well, where I live, even older people stay with their moms.😕 Joe, if he doesn't have a job, where is he supposed to go??? 😕

It could be depression, for all we know.

Jerry Martinez5 said:He’s 27 and still living at home? That’s just wrong, diagnosis or not. And honestly, it isn't just him being unstable—it's his mother and everyone else in that house who has to deal with it.

The first step would be politely telling him he needs to move out. Then, maybe, next time he visits, you just show him the door the second he makes a scene.

But he doesn't live there, he actually has his own place all set up... He’s basically living the dream because his mom does all his laundry and cooking. No wonder he isn't in any rush... Plus, she stays out of his business and rarely even visits. He's got it made.

hiddenhawk3 said:Well, where I live, even older people stay with their moms.😕 Joe, if he doesn't have a job, where is he supposed to go??? 😕

true, but where are people with a paycheck of $1000 supposed to move?

Jason Sanchez3 said:true, but where are people with a paycheck of $1000 supposed to move?

There's no such thing as a yard like that. Is this sarcasm or are you actually being serious???

hiddenhawk3 said:There's no such thing as a yard like that. Is this sarcasm or are you actually being serious???

No, totally serious......

Jason Sanchez3 said:But he doesn't live there, he actually has his own place all set up... He’s basically living the dream because his mom does all his laundry and cooking. No wonder he isn't in any rush... Plus, she stays out of his business and rarely even visits. He's got it made.

Well, it's their fault for putting up with it. They should probably just ban him from their part of the house or kick him out. Maybe if they actually followed through, he'd realize they aren't joking.
On one hand, parents are partially to blame because they tolerate too much. It seems cute when they're kids, but then they grow up to be total disasters and everyone acts surprised. 😕I know plenty of people who raise their kids like they'll stay little forever, never setting boundaries as the kid grows up. I'm not saying parents are responsible for everything, but they definitely cause a lot of it by being too permissive. He's testing their limits, and clearly, his family either has none or they just don't care enough to deal with it. 😕It’s easier to just ignore things and pretend they aren't happening, or maybe they just don't care enough 😕, which is how most people are. Or maybe his behavior is just a cry for help, I guess.🤷

I'm totally with you on this, they're definitely the ones to blame...
It's not even that they don't care, it's just that they care way too much...

Jason Sanchez3 said:No, totally serious......

I don't see the point in judging people like that... someone's 27 and living with their parents. Not everyone starts out with the same deck of cards, the same jobs, or the same income. I guess there isn't really one universal rule for how long you're supposed to stay at home.😢

Look, is it really anyone's fault if a family isn't a perfect, cohesive unit? Should someone be kicked out of the house just because they don't fit that specific mold?

Donna Wood52 said:Look, is it really anyone's fault if a family isn't a perfect, cohesive unit? Should someone be kicked out of the house just because they don't fit that specific mold?

I’d kick him out myself and just leave him to deal with it...
The way he acts is just too much. It's all constant teasing, refusing to help out even when someone needs a ride to the ER while he's just sitting there, and then all that terrorizing...

hiddenhawk3 said:I don't see the point in judging people like that... someone's 27 and living with their parents. Not everyone starts out with the same deck of cards, the same jobs, or the same income. I guess there isn't really one universal rule for how long you're supposed to stay at home.😢

That's exactly my point. If you're making less than $3,000 a month, there aren't many places to go... It's fine if he gets married, but how is someone supposed to cover rent or a car payment when they're barely scraping by for groceries and utilities?

He's got money, sure, but he's lucky. Honestly, anyone would stay put if they had a mom as amazing as his...

Jason Sanchez3 said:That's exactly my point. If you're making less than $3,000 a month, there aren't many places to go... It's fine if he gets married, but how is someone supposed to cover rent or a car payment when they're barely scraping by for groceries and utilities?

He's got money, sure, but he's lucky. Honestly, anyone would stay put if they had a mom as amazing as his...

No offense, but she might be great to you, though the question is how great she actually is to him.🤷 Maybe he’s just craving attention, or maybe he didn't get enough emotional support growing up... some people just need love and connection more than a warm meal or material things. Otherwise, if he's mentally and physically fine, why else would he seek out attention like that?😕

hiddenhawk3 said:No offense, but she might be great to you, though the question is how great she actually is to him.🤷 Maybe he’s just craving attention, or maybe he didn't get enough emotional support growing up... some people just need love and connection more than a warm meal or material things. Otherwise, if he's mentally and physically fine, why else would he seek out attention like that?😕

He’s just spoiled, honestly. Growing up without any real boundaries, plus that one terrible situation where everyone just let him slide... it was like trying to hold water in your hands. One mess just led straight into the next.
My mom’s my biggest supporter in every way. We've always been super close... honestly, she's more like a best friend than just a parent.

It’s almost too good to be true. He stays out of her business, but he’s always checking in to see how her day went—not to nag or pick a fight, just because he cares. He acts like a total fool sometimes just to make her happy, hoping that if he gives 110%, he'll eventually step up his game. Honestly, though? She's a keeper.

Jason Sanchez3 said:He’s just spoiled, honestly. Growing up without any real boundaries, plus that one terrible situation where everyone just let him slide... it was like trying to hold water in your hands. One mess just led straight into the next.
My mom’s my biggest supporter in every way. We've always been super close... honestly, she's more like a best friend than just a parent.

It’s almost too good to be true. He stays out of her business, but he’s always checking in to see how her day went—not to nag or pick a fight, just because he cares. He acts like a total fool sometimes just to make her happy, hoping that if he gives 110%, he'll eventually step up his game. Honestly, though? She's a keeper.

Well, maybe they should just discipline him 🙂 There isn't much choice—you have to set boundaries, rules, rewards, and consequences. Being consistent is the big thing; you actually have to show some backbone.
But from the way you're describing things, it doesn't seem like they actually want to change how they treat him, which means he won't change either. They’d rather just stay stuck in this loop. I know it's easier that way, but if they really care about him, they should try to 😉
Change. I guess Mom and Dad should probably act like parents instead of just being friends.