Am I overthinking this, or is there actually a problem?

😁I guess I’ll jump in here too.....😍
I was actually going to write a much longer post, but I decided to keep it short and just start with a question.😢Just a little intro to get things started😍)
I don't usually have any trouble hanging out with friends, or even meeting new people, but right at this moment, my parents are hosting two married couples and I feel like I'm going to freeze up if I actually have to talk to them. My folks are just sitting there watching me😲 while I'm fumbling around like I'm the shyest person on the planet—even though my friends would probably tell you otherwise.
I wonder if it's because being around my parents makes me drop all my usual defenses, haha. It's not like they know everything about me (though their birthday gifts usually prove they know more than I think!), but parents just have this weird way of seeing right through you...
Or maybe it's something else? I should mention that my communication style with guys changes when my parents are around—if someone is cute, I might actually get flustered and run back to my room like a little kid... even though in reality, I'm totally fine talking to guys and I'm generally quite social. I consider myself confident, though I suppose that fluctuates depending on the day.
Writing this out actually makes me feel a bit better already, almost a little more empowered...
Anyway, here are a few more random life snippets so you can "evaluate" me, haha. When I took that personality disorder quiz a while back, I apparently scored somewhat high on narcissism and histrionics (if I remember correctly...)
I'm definitely social, but also a bit of a lone wolf, blah, blah... so that's my first letter to you all. I hope I'm enough of a challenge. haha. bye!😉
Joshua Evans7, 23 years old

Could you just rewrite the question from scratch? Keep it to two sentences.

I mean, I don't really get why you're even asking. Obviously, you can't flirt with your boyfriend in front of his parents the same way you would if they weren't there.

Explain yourself. What exactly do you think the issue is?

I honestly think she’s got it a bit backwards when it comes to what the actual issue is here🙄

Gary Perez9 said:I honestly think she’s got it a bit backwards when it comes to what the actual issue is here🙄

I think you have a point there.🙏
I wish it were really that simple. I'm not saying I'm unwell, but I guess I just want to feel more resilient in certain situations—to use that word, to strengthen my character. 😍 I know you've been working on this your whole life.
Even if I were to see a therapist, I don't think I could quite explain what feels off.🙏 haha...
But for starters, I guess my tolerance for frustration is pretty low, if you know what I mean...😍
Anyway, sorry for bothering everyone with what might seem like minor things, but it took me a little while to find the strength to even type this out. It's not like I can talk about these things with people; I feel like they just wouldn't get it. Plus, after a rough day, I sometimes have these amazing days where I feel like the most confident person on the planet (though confidence should probably be a constant... I wonder why it slips away sometimes).🤷 haha.... but I should mention that I am working on myself in my own way, hoping that one day I'll become someone who can handle anything—maybe even chat casually with Barack Obama. Just kidding. haha.

Just tell me what exactly was such a huge headache about trying to connect with those family friends

Joshua Evans7 said:I think you have a point there.🙏
I wish it were really that simple. I'm not saying I'm unwell, but I guess I just want to feel more resilient in certain situations—to use that word, to strengthen my character. 😍 I know you've been working on this your whole life.
Even if I were to see a therapist, I don't think I could quite explain what feels off.🙏 haha...
But for starters, I guess my tolerance for frustration is pretty low, if you know what I mean...😍
Anyway, sorry for bothering everyone with what might seem like minor things, but it took me a little while to find the strength to even type this out. It's not like I can talk about these things with people; I feel like they just wouldn't get it. Plus, after a rough day, I sometimes have these amazing days where I feel like the most confident person on the planet (though confidence should probably be a constant... I wonder why it slips away sometimes).🤷 haha.... but I should mention that I am working on myself in my own way, hoping that one day I'll become someone who can handle anything—maybe even chat casually with Barack Obama. Just kidding. haha.

I think you’re getting the wrong idea; people aren't necessarily picking up on the exact same things from your posts. Honestly, it seems a bit silly to overanalyze why you don't like those family friends. First off, you *are* part of that family, which means they are technically your parents' friends rather than yours. Even for me, I have a neighbor here in town that I just can't stand because he's so incredibly dull and annoying; I'll just exchange a few polite words and then retreat straight to my room. Most importantly though, looking at this thread, people are posting about being completely overwhelmed by life and wanting to give up entirely, yet here you are questioning why you don't vibe with some family acquaintances.😢☕

I guess I feel this slight sense of panic sometimes, almost like I’m losing touch with myself... maybe my parents hold me back a bit, which makes me withdraw, even though I'm usually quite an outgoing person. Just my thoughts, I suppose.
I actually had a few mild episodes of panic recently where I felt like I was crawling out of my own skin and just wanted to run away. For example, about six months ago, I was grabbing coffee with two friends, and when one of them asked me something, I suddenly felt so exposed. I got all flustered and embarrassed, and honestly, I just wanted to bolt to the restroom. Now, when that feeling hits, I try to take a deep breath and trust myself—kind of like telling myself something encouraging so I can just move on.
@Gary Perez9—it takes me a little while to open up, and I know I might be overthinking the small stuff, but I don't see anything wrong with exploring my thoughts and looking for ways to become a superhero. Just kidding.
Now I'm craving a snack, but I think I'll wait until everyone leaves so I don't have to make small talk, haha.

Joshua Evans7 said:I guess I feel this slight sense of panic sometimes, almost like I’m losing touch with myself... maybe my parents hold me back a bit, which makes me withdraw, even though I'm usually quite an outgoing person. Just my thoughts, I suppose.
I actually had a few mild episodes of panic recently where I felt like I was crawling out of my own skin and just wanted to run away. For example, about six months ago, I was grabbing coffee with two friends, and when one of them asked me something, I suddenly felt so exposed. I got all flustered and embarrassed, and honestly, I just wanted to bolt to the restroom. Now, when that feeling hits, I try to take a deep breath and trust myself—kind of like telling myself something encouraging so I can just move on.
@Gary Perez9—it takes me a little while to open up, and I know I might be overthinking the small stuff, but I don't see anything wrong with exploring my thoughts and looking for ways to become a superhero. Just kidding.
Now I'm craving a snack, but I think I'll wait until everyone leaves so I don't have to make small talk, haha.

Move out🤷

Gary Perez9 said:Move out🤷

Well, I guess I’ve just been relocated to college.
And get this—people tell my parents I'm pretty, then they tell my parents I'm all talk. What gives?
I suppose it probably isn't about my parents, though; it might just be me...

It isn't narcissism, nor is it histrionic personality disorder—it’s quite simply a lack of an honest, transparent relationship with your parents.

95% of the people on this psychology forum are perfectly sane—myself included.

Zachary Patel6 said:It isn't narcissism, nor is it histrionic personality disorder—it’s quite simply a lack of an honest, transparent relationship with your parents.

95% of the people on this psychology forum are perfectly sane—myself included.

My boyfriend mentioned that I only started feeling like something was wrong with me once I began reading these threads and diving into all those intense personality tests. I guess that’s just how it works—that initial feeling that something is off has to trigger everything else. For me, this whole journey of questioning my own sanity really kicked off after I stopped experimenting with drugs, which lasted maybe a year or so. So...

Joshua Evans7 said:My boyfriend mentioned that I only started feeling like something was wrong with me once I began reading these threads and diving into all those intense personality tests. I guess that’s just how it works—that initial feeling that something is off has to trigger everything else. For me, this whole journey of questioning my own sanity really kicked off after I stopped experimenting with drugs, which lasted maybe a year or so. So...

It is highly probable that your boyfriend is right. Take that same test and give it to a few friends. You will see they all scramble to find a disorder within themselves. People are incredibly suggestible. Nowadays, there is a strange trend toward embracing being "unstable."😳.

In my view, while many topics on this forum provide utility, they also cause significant harm. Users get fixated on specific issues, which only serves to deepen their psychological distress. They feel trapped in their condition, yet they stay because they think, "At least I have a community."

Furthermore, a year of drug experimentation is no longer just an experiment. If you believe you need professional help, seek it out immediately.

I suppose I'm done with all that experimenting; it feels like a chapter behind me now.
🤷Large social gatherings or those kinds of busy Saturdays don't really appeal to me at all.
I think I'll just go finish another assessment to prove I'm perfectly fine, just so we can put this matter to rest.☕

Joshua Evans7 said:I suppose I'm done with all that experimenting; it feels like a chapter behind me now.
🤷Large social gatherings or those kinds of busy Saturdays don't really appeal to me at all.
I think I'll just go finish another assessment to prove I'm perfectly fine, just so we can put this matter to rest.☕

I don't see any need for that whatsoever.
Life is all around you. Don't just stand there. sebe Stop constantly overanalyzing everything. You don't need to be flawless. No one else is. Why would you fear being judged by others? It is an unnecessary burden.

Read a book. Pick up a thriller or whatever interests you. Watch a good movie, spend time with friends, get out of the house, and keep learning. Life happens in waves. There are seasons of uncertainty followed by periods of strength and stability. Find something beyond yourself to focus on. No one maintains a perfect relationship with their parents. They are individuals, just like us. We aren't clones of them, and we don't need to be perfectly compatible. That isn't how people work.

Relax a little. Everyone deals with their own doubts, flaws, and weaknesses. There is no need to dwell on them so deeply that you convince yourself they are unique or abnormal. You are still maturing and growing. Forget those tests.

hollowgardener7 said:I don't see any need for that whatsoever.
Life is all around you. Don't just stand there. sebe Stop constantly overanalyzing everything. You don't need to be flawless. No one else is. Why would you fear being judged by others? It is an unnecessary burden.

Read a book. Pick up a thriller or whatever interests you. Watch a good movie, spend time with friends, get out of the house, and keep learning. Life happens in waves. There are seasons of uncertainty followed by periods of strength and stability. Find something beyond yourself to focus on. No one maintains a perfect relationship with their parents. They are individuals, just like us. We aren't clones of them, and we don't need to be perfectly compatible. That isn't how people work.

Relax a little. Everyone deals with their own doubts, flaws, and weaknesses. There is no need to dwell on them so deeply that you convince yourself they are unique or abnormal. You are still maturing and growing. Forget those tests.

I can see that you get it... I guess I just need a little more time before I can actually put these thoughts into practice and truly start feeling this way.
Thanks, hollowgardener7 ;-)

Joshua Evans7 said:😁I guess I’ll jump in here too.....😍
I was actually going to write a much longer post, but I decided to keep it short and just start with a question.😢Just a little intro to get things started😍)
I don't usually have any trouble hanging out with friends, or even meeting new people, but right at this moment, my parents are hosting two married couples and I feel like I'm going to freeze up if I actually have to talk to them. My folks are just sitting there watching me😲 while I'm fumbling around like I'm the shyest person on the planet—even though my friends would probably tell you otherwise.
I wonder if it's because being around my parents makes me drop all my usual defenses, haha. It's not like they know everything about me (though their birthday gifts usually prove they know more than I think!), but parents just have this weird way of seeing right through you...
Or maybe it's something else? I should mention that my communication style with guys changes when my parents are around—if someone is cute, I might actually get flustered and run back to my room like a little kid... even though in reality, I'm totally fine talking to guys and I'm generally quite social. I consider myself confident, though I suppose that fluctuates depending on the day.
Writing this out actually makes me feel a bit better already, almost a little more empowered...
Anyway, here are a few more random life snippets so you can "evaluate" me, haha. When I took that personality disorder quiz a while back, I apparently scored somewhat high on narcissism and histrionics (if I remember correctly...)
I'm definitely social, but also a bit of a lone wolf, blah, blah... so that's my first letter to you all. I hope I'm enough of a challenge. haha. bye!😉
Joshua Evans7, 23 years old

Are you seeking parental approval and feeling like they're judging you while you talk to others, causing you to withdraw inward so you don't disappoint them?😁

I know people might be judging me, but I suppose I don't really care if I end up disappointing them or not. Maybe what worries me most is feeling like I have to act overly sexual or flirtatious just to be noticed; honestly, I find it quite difficult to carry on a normal conversation with an attractive man—or even men in general—if I feel that pressure to perform. 😂

Joshua Evans7 said:I know people might be judging me, but I suppose I don't really care if I end up disappointing them or not. Maybe what worries me most is feeling like I have to act overly sexual or flirtatious just to be noticed; honestly, I find it quite difficult to carry on a normal conversation with an attractive man—or even men in general—if I feel that pressure to perform. 😂

Oh, wow... so you were actually trying to be flirtatious with those two married couples?😁

feralcobra20 said:Oh, wow... so you were actually trying to be flirtatious with those two married couples?😁

Wait, what am I reading here? Is this some kind of psychosexual therapy session?😁

It’d be kind of hilarious if you could flirt right under your parents' noses. Totally wild. I think I’m a little crazy myself 😉