#1 ·
THE LAND OF KROETEN
In a land so grand, like a dreamscape spun,
The nation of Kroeten had finally won.
A people lived there, if you'll take my word,
Known as the Kroetens, the best ever heard.
With oceans and mountains and valleys so wide,
And virtuous people with nothing to hide.
But this great republic was facing a plight,
Caught in a crisis and a terrible fight.
Then a leader stepped up to the front of the line,
United the tribes and made everything fine.
And then, by the will of the people so free,
He was crowned on his throne for all history to see.
From that day forward, for all time to come,
They called him "Your visost, King Kroeten," with a hum.
Things were looking up, quite wonderful indeed,
If only they hadn't listened to fools and their greed.
THE FOOL:
"Oh, listen to your visost, King Kroeten, my friend,
I have an idea on which you can depend.
Our kingdom is struggling, it's poor and it's small!
With a ruler like you, we need fools after all.
It makes perfect sense, let's increase the count,
Screw this whole kingdom, let's give fools the amount!
So, I thought to myself, as a favor to you,
It would be great to hire my nephew, too.
Of noble descent, with pride in his soul,
A goofy, silly guy, out of control—just like me, that's his role.
He’s our own blood, honest and true,
A classic example of a Kroeten through and through.
THE KING:
"You've always been loyal, my foolish old friend,
On your crazy opinions, I know I can depend.
When times were at their worst, you stood by my side,
So I'll grant your request with a sense of pride.
I'll give your nephew a job, it's decided,
To keep me laughing when I'm war-sided.
Give him a two-story villa to stay,
And let him guard my seal every single day."
And so the king hired that fool of a man,
His nephew, his cousin, part of the clan.
Then came the sisters, the uncles, the kin,
The godparents, neighbors, all rushing in.
The king gave them houses and government cars,
And feasts with whole oxen under the stars.
The Kroetens were happy, their status was high,
With one fool per capita, passing them by.
Every man had an office, a place to reside,
Where you'd walk in and find laughter inside. They'd say: 'Come back tomorrow!'
'Tomorrow you must start your queue from the bottom!'
Then they'd laugh loudly: 'Hey, pay the fee!'
You'd go back again, feeling wretched and low,
Only to hear: 'The boss is out, don't you know?'
You'd return once more, defeated and blue,
'New laws are in effect, try next week, it's true!'
You'd show up next week, but a new fool would sit,
'That permit is expired!' they'd joke with some wit. 'The fee isn't valid!'
The people grew restless, they complained to the crown,
But there was one tiny flaw to be found.
The king passed away, leaving the world far behind,
And the people picked a successor, the quickest of kind.
They hoped for a change, believing in miracles grand,
Not knowing a fool wore the crown of the land.
All in all, folks, it's a mess, it's a crime,
Living in Kroeten is losing your mind every time.
🙏🙏🙏
I think it's great. 🙏
How does this strike you guys?... It's pretty spot on, right? 🤣
P.S. Not mine.
In a land so grand, like a dreamscape spun,
The nation of Kroeten had finally won.
A people lived there, if you'll take my word,
Known as the Kroetens, the best ever heard.
With oceans and mountains and valleys so wide,
And virtuous people with nothing to hide.
But this great republic was facing a plight,
Caught in a crisis and a terrible fight.
Then a leader stepped up to the front of the line,
United the tribes and made everything fine.
And then, by the will of the people so free,
He was crowned on his throne for all history to see.
From that day forward, for all time to come,
They called him "Your visost, King Kroeten," with a hum.
Things were looking up, quite wonderful indeed,
If only they hadn't listened to fools and their greed.
THE FOOL:
"Oh, listen to your visost, King Kroeten, my friend,
I have an idea on which you can depend.
Our kingdom is struggling, it's poor and it's small!
With a ruler like you, we need fools after all.
It makes perfect sense, let's increase the count,
Screw this whole kingdom, let's give fools the amount!
So, I thought to myself, as a favor to you,
It would be great to hire my nephew, too.
Of noble descent, with pride in his soul,
A goofy, silly guy, out of control—just like me, that's his role.
He’s our own blood, honest and true,
A classic example of a Kroeten through and through.
THE KING:
"You've always been loyal, my foolish old friend,
On your crazy opinions, I know I can depend.
When times were at their worst, you stood by my side,
So I'll grant your request with a sense of pride.
I'll give your nephew a job, it's decided,
To keep me laughing when I'm war-sided.
Give him a two-story villa to stay,
And let him guard my seal every single day."
And so the king hired that fool of a man,
His nephew, his cousin, part of the clan.
Then came the sisters, the uncles, the kin,
The godparents, neighbors, all rushing in.
The king gave them houses and government cars,
And feasts with whole oxen under the stars.
The Kroetens were happy, their status was high,
With one fool per capita, passing them by.
Every man had an office, a place to reside,
Where you'd walk in and find laughter inside. They'd say: 'Come back tomorrow!'
'Tomorrow you must start your queue from the bottom!'
Then they'd laugh loudly: 'Hey, pay the fee!'
You'd go back again, feeling wretched and low,
Only to hear: 'The boss is out, don't you know?'
You'd return once more, defeated and blue,
'New laws are in effect, try next week, it's true!'
You'd show up next week, but a new fool would sit,
'That permit is expired!' they'd joke with some wit. 'The fee isn't valid!'
The people grew restless, they complained to the crown,
But there was one tiny flaw to be found.
The king passed away, leaving the world far behind,
And the people picked a successor, the quickest of kind.
They hoped for a change, believing in miracles grand,
Not knowing a fool wore the crown of the land.
All in all, folks, it's a mess, it's a crime,
Living in Kroeten is losing your mind every time.
🙏🙏🙏
I think it's great. 🙏
How does this strike you guys?... It's pretty spot on, right? 🤣
P.S. Not mine.