Progress or just spoiled kids?

amberfox4 said:I was born in '52, which means I started my schooling years around '59, and frankly, I wouldn't trade that experience for anything the younger generations might offer, no matter how much they claim to have improved things. I truly believe we belong to one of the final cohorts that experienced a semblance of a "normal" upbringing; back then, there wasn't this pervasive, suffocating obsession with material wealth that seems to define modern life. We were all more or less on the same level—there wasn't that constant, exhausting need for snobbery, entitlement, or the relentless urge to show off just to prove one's worth. It simply wasn't given such undue importance in our society. Now, I agree that raising a child in today’s world is an uphill battle because the very fabric of our society has shifted so drastically, but even though I am not a parent myself, observing others makes me realize it is still possible to do it right. That said, there is an overwhelming abundance of spoiled children nowadays—far more than what we ever saw—alongside kids who have been raised with fundamentally warped values. Generally speaking, we are looking at a populace with a deeply fractured sense of what actually matters in life. Goodness, it is such a heavy, complicated subject to dwell upon...

Henry Moore2 said:But honestly, the thing is, those parents were raised by the old school. Like, the absolute traditionalists. So, where did things start going sideways?

Morgan Rodriguez57 said:I honestly think it’s because the old guard overdid it with the discipline... or maybe they just changed their mindset—you know, thinking "our kids shouldn't have to struggle like we did"—or perhaps they've been influenced by all that media stuff where everyone tries to act like parents and kids are just "best friends"... or maybe it's just people following whatever the current laws dictate...

Brian Doyle6 said:Honestly, that question is rhetorical and pretty stupid. To me, the situation is so catastrophic that when we get old, we won't just be annoyed that kids won't give up their seat on the bus—we'll actually be terrified of them.
There are several reasons for this.
1. Nowadays, parents have zero time. They work all day, and by the time they get home, they're completely burnt out. The easiest way to handle the kids is just to buy them a TV or a PlayStation so they stop bugging you... I read somewhere that in England, parents are buying three-year-olds their own TVs.
2. Women are having their first kids much later now. Someone having a baby at 35 or older isn't really a young mom anymore; they're basically acting like grandmas. And as we all know, grandmas always had way more patience—sometimes infinite patience—so a kid could act out however they wanted. On the flip side, a 21-year-old mom (which used to be the norm) doesn't have the energy for every little tantrum and might actually snap and slap a kid if they push it too far...
3. Just like the world has become more insane, tense, and high-strung, there are more psychopaths out there who should never be allowed to have children or be parents. Of course, kids are just a mirror reflecting those psychopathic parents....
4. Even in preschool, there's this modern version of "socialized upbringing" where teachers aren't allowed to do anything to some shitty kid from a criminal family. A kid can hit people, scream, and cause chaos however they want, while the teacher is only allowed to "redirect their attention." It's the same story in school: kids do whatever they want, and if a teacher finally loses it and does something about it, they risk getting sued by a bunch of psychopathic parents.
5. When I was a kid, I knew I had a Cartoon coming on every single day. Sometimes, if there was a football game on, I knew I might catch another show during halftime. Otherwise, I was outside wandering around, riding my bike, playing with the neighborhood kids... and occasionally (very rarely), I'd spend a few bucks at the arcade. Today, kids have Cartoon and a million other channels, they've got VCRs, obviously they have PCs with endless games, and then some clueless parents go out and buy them a PlayStation on top of that. Kids today spend all day glued to these gadgets. All the games we used to play seem pointless and boring to them; they barely even know how to kick a ball or walk straight......
Because of the idiots who fulfilled their parental duties by buying their son the latest PlayStation, my own son felt frustrated because I refused to buy him something so unnecessary, sick, and idiotic—yet there were his classmates bragging about their PlayStations...
But like I said, there are just too many idiots having kids these days. That's the core issue.

Gerald Walker7 said:That's a massive mistake, I think. I have a friend who's 32, and she didn't have her first real, honest conversation with her mother until her wedding day. She told her, "The only thing I truly resent is that you were never my mother—you were just my friend. I had plenty of friends; what I needed was a mother." And she backed it up with plenty of evidence. At the time, when I was 18, I couldn't wrap my head around it because, let's face it, we all secretly crave that buddy-buddy relationship with our parents. But once she explained how that dynamic actually messed her up, I completely changed my mind. A parent needs to be a parent. That doesn't mean there isn't some friendship involved, but I guess you still have to know how to set boundaries.

slyrider11 said:We all share some of the blame here. I don’t think either extreme works, because let’s face it, modern parenting techniques just don't click with certain kids.
I have two sons. My youngest is easy; he actually listens when you talk to him or offer criticism. The most "strict" I ever get with him is raising my voice, and even then, it's only happened a handful of times.
My older son, however, is a different story. He's a nightmare. Nothing works—not talking, not punishments, not critiques... absolutely nothing.
He spent several sessions with the school counselor, both alone and with me. To him, the whole thing was a joke; he’d sit there mocking the counselor right to her face.
Then came the child psychologists, the testing, and all the expert advice on how to handle him. He just laughed at all of it.
Finally, one day after yet another frantic call from the school, I just snapped. I told my husband I couldn't take it anymore. He retreated to the boy's room and delivered two solid slaps—one for the kid and one for me.
To make a long story short, once the word got out that if there’s trouble at school, Dad is coming in to have a "serious talk," the calls from the principal stopped drying up, and he finally settled down.
The school counselor caught me in the hallway and said, all proud of herself, "See? We told you we could fix this!" I just gave her a cold look and told her it wasn't the counselors who did it, it was Dad's hand.
She didn't say a word; she just walked right past me.

Dana Miller2 said:So, you’ve officially become your parents. It happens to the best of us... we all end up complaining about how spoiled kids are today like we weren't the exact same way back then. 🙄😁
If you’re actually sane and level-headed, you'll set some real boundaries, and everything will turn out fine... I'm just sick of people blaming the schools, the Secretary of Education, society at large, TV, or even big banks for how kids turn out... at the end of the day, it's on the parents.
The sad truth is most people—including parents—are just idiots 🙂.
Honestly, the only real difference between parents now and parents back then is that nowadays there are more ways to fail and way more stuff to buy at Target.

George Alvarez3;16070970 said:Exactly. The other day I’m standing in the hallway at the university waiting for a professor. He’s retiring next year, so he’s pretty much checked out. His parents come up to him and actually beg him not to send their twenty-year-old (!!) daughter to the review board, asking if he could just give her one more test instead. The guy tells them, "Look, please don't be offended, but your daughter was screaming at me and insulting me after failing an exam four times—an exam everyone else passed—so I have no intention of doing her any special favors."👍
It’s always the same thing. Five minutes in, you’ve got the mother in tears claiming it isn't her child's fault because she had such a hard childhood (!!) just because once (!!) when she was three years old (!!) she was left alone in a hospital for three days (!!) while she was sick, and they feel so sorry for her and love her so much that none of this is her fault. 😲
Our whole group is watching this drama unfold; we’re anywhere from 18 to 42, and we all collectively agreed she’s just a spoiled brat. Honestly, if we had the chance, we’d rather give her a reality check than grant her another test. And this is about a twenty-year-old woman, not even getting started on the stuff I deal with involving kids aged 10 to 14. I’ll be standing at a bus stop and hear some little punk in third grade threatening to beat up other kids because they’re talking to his girlfriend (!!), 😂even though it’s a girl standing right there; stuff like that. Besides, this entitlement shows up in tiny ways too, like how young gamers don't care about game development anymore and only fall for graphics (which is cute—pleasing to the eye, satisfying to the brain—hence the definition of being spoiled).

And btw...someone above wrote that kids don't know how to play or entertain themselves... khm, that’s just not true. Play is innate to children; it comes naturally and they always find something to do. The problem is exclusively and entirely down to parenting.[/QUOTE]

So why don't they play? True, they play in preschool and maybe during those first few years of elementary school. For me, it was the end of the world if my parents grounded me and I couldn't go outside (to hang with friends in front of our apartment building), but I have no idea how to ground a 14-year-old who stopped playing and going outside back when she was nine. Trying to force her outdoors is harder than trying to find Bigfoot!!! And almost all her peers are like that, really; maybe those living out in the rural areas are a bit different. It doesn't matter if my husband and I tell them they need to move around and socialize, that it isn't healthy... Sometimes a few of them will gather in front of the building and just sit there for two hours. Sometimes I want to call them inside, but I won't because I'm busy with the baby and the weather is nice, so I just say, "Go for a walk." You know what she does then? 🙄 And I don't even let her spend all day on the computer, so that's not the reason she won't go out. She and her friends communicate every single day via phone or text instead of breathing some fresh air, so I know she isn't the only exception.

Gerald Walker7 said:So why aren't they playing? Seriously, kids play in preschool or maybe during those first few years of elementary school. For me, being grounded by my parents was death—not being allowed outside with my friends hanging out in front of the apartment building. But how am I supposed to punish a 14-year-old who just stopped playing and going outside back when she was 9? Trying to force her out is harder than trying to spot Bigfoot!!! And honestly, almost all her peers are the same way; it's just that kids living out in the rural areas are a bit different. It doesn't matter if my husband and I tell her she needs to move around, that she needs to socialize, that staying inside isn't healthy... Sometimes a few of them will gather in front of the building and just sit there for two hours straight. Sometimes I want to call them in, but I won't because I've got my hands full with the baby and the weather is beautiful, so I just tell them, "Go for a walk." You know what she does then? 🙄 And I don't even let her hang on the computer, so that's not even the reason she's stuck inside. She and her friends talk every single day on the phone or texting instead of getting some fresh air, so I know she isn't the only exception.

amberfox4 said:Personally, I find it utterly distasteful when parents drag their children to shopping malls instead of taking them to a local park; it seems to me that the adults simply sit there sipping coffee while toddlers, aged anywhere from two to five, are left to run wild in the aisles around 8:00 PM. By that hour, a child should ideally be bathed, tucked into their pajamas, and waiting for their favorite cartoon to start. Now, I am perfectly aware that modern working hours have shifted and people aren't necessarily clocking out at 2:00 or 3:00 anymore—it’s more common to finish around 4:00 or 5:00—but staying up late and engaging in frantic activity until nearly midnight is simply not conducive to a child's well-being. I see this happening even with those who don't work such grueling hours, including stay-at-home mothers. A child requires structure, and there is absolutely no reason for them to be wide awake at 11:00 PM, hyperactively jumping around the house or tossing and turning because they weren't allowed to watch the show they were craving. Since I don't have children of my own, I expect someone will inevitably step in to lecture me and claim I have no idea what I'm talking about, so, fine, let me lecture myself. Perhaps I truly don't know. All I know is that a child's place isn't in cafes or sprawling shopping centers, unless, of course, there is quite literally nowhere else to leave them while running errands for groceries.

shadowtrucker18 said:The neighborhoods were honestly pretty rough 😢

amberfox4 said:I find myself in complete agreement with you. I recall those same childhood rituals—playing games like tag or playing with dolls right out in front of our house. My memories of that era are quite vivid; I remember specifically how we would sit down for cartoons at 7:15 in the morning, just before the local news started, and once that was over, it was straight to bed. There were no cartoons on Thursdays, though, because that was when the cooking show hosted by some celebrity chef would air. I used to try and negotiate my way out of bedtime by insisting that I absolutely had to watch that program. As for toys, I can still recall most of them and even remember their specific names. Whenever we took a trip down to Chicago, my father would tell me, "Since we are in this Target, you can pick out three toys." It sounds simple, but I would agonize over the decision for ages. It always ended up being some accessory for a Barbie doll and then something else entirely. I never once had the foresight to ask if I could have more. Regarding clothes, my parents usually handled all the shopping without my input; I honestly never gave it a second thought, nor did I possess any concept of designer brands versus generic labels. Once they had me, they simply adapted their entire lifestyle to accommodate a child. You can't just go out hitting the bars whenever you feel like it once you have a kid; certain sacrifices are inevitable. That wasn't really the norm back then either, as most social gatherings with friends happened right at our house. Of course, children aren't to blame for the state of things today. Those kids are truly unfortunate. A child simply doesn't have the agency to choose.