Can hypnosis help you get over someone?

slydriver17 said:You know, I’ve been doing some thinking lately. Honestly, just deal with it. But don't go overboard—you don't want to actually maim her or, heaven forbid, end up facing an investigation for excessive force. The poor kid. If you truly love her, remember that if you fail here, some random stranger is going to step in to raise your child. Take a willow switch or maybe even a bamboo rod, like something out of those old Kung Fu movies, and give her a firm lesson. Make her understand. Of course, all my advice goes out the window if this whole thing—this relationship that somehow morphed into a marriage—wasn't built on actual love to begin with. If there were ulterior motives from the start, then you have to accept that you were simply being a fool. But, if there was genuine affection, then you just need to remind her through disciplined, measured correction. There are ways to handle it without leaving marks, you know. And then there's the risk of her suing you. Have you seen these modern, "emancipated" women today? They act like they've finally achieved equality, yet they conveniently forget that equality has absolutely nothing to do with parental authority. That's just how it is. Anyway, that's just some food for thought. You don't have to take my word for it; I might be losing my mind. 🙂

Michael Bishop8 said:Yeah, I have to admit, this post actually helped me out quite a bit.

slydriver17 said:Oh, for crying out loud.😲

Have you perhaps discovered a latent streak of masochism within yourself?
🙄😁

Alex Thomas6 said:I have to say, I think this is a bit insane.

Your wife fell for someone else, and your solution is to take her to a therapist to "un-love" him? Seriously? 😲 😲

And now you’re actually asking if hypnosis could work to make her lose those feelings?!!?? 😕 😕

I honestly can't believe this. You have some incredibly bizarre ideas here—so weird that anyone reading this is probably picturing you as the strange one, not your wife.

So, she fell for someone else. Okay... how long have you two been together? It sounds like it's been over 20 years... do you really think you're the only person in America dealing with a marriage falling apart after two decades? And where did this idea come from that her being in love is the actual "problem"? Any intense infatuation—especially when the passion is at its peak—is inherently problematic.

Her feelings for this other guy aren't some case of cosmic fate or destiny; they're a direct result of her being unsatisfied in the marriage and following an impulse to find something new.

And then there's this part—you don't want to let her just enjoy the "fun stuff," the dates and the sex with him, while the kids stay with the grandparents so she can be free to indulge. Sorry, but that doesn't sit right with me. That is completely twisted, unhealthy, and just plain crazy. What is wrong with you, man? You can't just control her like she's your pet poodle.

In my opinion, you are the one who needs some serious psychotherapy. The way you're reasoning through this is totally abnormal to me. I know you're going to claim you "just want to save the marriage"... but look at the toxic logic you're injecting into that goal ("I won't let her have sex with him"). The level of obsession here is wild!

Alex Thomas6 said:I have to say, I think this is a bit insane.

Your wife fell for someone else, and your solution is to take her to a therapist to "un-love" him? Seriously? 😲 😲

And now you’re actually asking if hypnosis could work to make her lose those feelings?!!?? 😕 😕

I honestly can't believe this. You have some incredibly bizarre ideas here—so weird that anyone reading this is probably picturing you as the strange one, not your wife.

So, she fell for someone else. Okay... how long have you two been together? It sounds like it's been over 20 years... do you really think you're the only person in America dealing with a marriage falling apart after two decades? And where did this idea come from that her being in love is the actual "problem"? Any intense infatuation—especially when the passion is at its peak—is inherently problematic.

Her feelings for this other guy aren't some case of cosmic fate or destiny; they're a direct result of her being unsatisfied in the marriage and following an impulse to find something new.

And then there's this part—you don't want to let her just enjoy the "fun stuff," the dates and the sex with him, while the kids stay with the grandparents so she can be free to indulge. Sorry, but that doesn't sit right with me. That is completely twisted, unhealthy, and just plain crazy. What is wrong with you, man? You can't just control her like she's your pet poodle.

In my opinion, you are the one who needs some serious psychotherapy. The way you're reasoning through this is totally abnormal to me. I know you're going to claim you "just want to save the marriage"... but look at the toxic logic you're injecting into that goal ("I won't let her have sex with him"). The level of obsession here is wild!

Zachary Mendoza2 said:If a person loves his wife, it is perfectly natural that he wouldn't want to "let her" enjoy sex with another man. Are you some kind of radical swinger? If a man takes love and marriage seriously, does that make him obsessed?

Alex Thomas6 said:You're just messing with me, right? 😂

I'm not a "swinger type," nor am I moderate, let alone "radical"!

Love is an interaction. The fundamental requirement for it to survive is that love is reciprocated—that you love and are loved in return, rather than it being one-sided... so, like—as you put it—just you loving them and THAT is why it's normal 😲not to want to let that other person enjoy themselves with someone else.

I'm simply advocating for facing reality. And it's precisely in that refusal to face reality from Michael Bishop8 that I see something unhealthy or, as I put it, obsessive.

You claim he takes marriage seriously. No, quite the opposite—he doesn't take marriage seriously at all, and certainly not maturely. If he actually viewed it with maturity and seriousness, he would stand up for his own dignity and realize what the essential condition for any relationship to survive actually is.

Zachary Mendoza2 said:Yes, I was teasing a little regarding the swinging.🙂 I agree with you that Michael Bishop8 refuses to face reality, but that is perfectly normal for people in love; I don't view it as unhealthy. Eventually, those people face reality, but it requires time and effort. Regarding the other point, I disagree; for me, love itself is a one-sided thing—it doesn't require reciprocity to exist. Relationships, however, are two-sided interactions and cannot survive if one side is missing. It is also normal for me, when in love, to want my partner all to myself, so these "let them go do whatever they want with whoever they want" variations seem strange to me. I am happy if my partner is happy, but not if her happiness comes from screwing someone else behind my back.

Michael Bishop8 said:just kidding 🙂

Zachary Mendoza2 said:Yes, I was teasing a little regarding the swinging.🙂 I agree with you that Michael Bishop8 refuses to face reality, but that is perfectly normal for people in love; I don't view it as unhealthy. Eventually, those people face reality, but it requires time and effort. Regarding the other point, I disagree; for me, love itself is a one-sided thing—it doesn't require reciprocity to exist. Relationships, however, are two-sided interactions and cannot survive if one side is missing. It is also normal for me, when in love, to want my partner all to myself, so these "let them go do whatever they want with whoever they want" variations seem strange to me. I am happy if my partner is happy, but not if her happiness comes from screwing someone else behind my back.

slydriver17 said:To establish a connection, you need two people, but to sever one, you require three. And I am certainly not referring to a child here.😁

I honestly can't believe I'm even bringing this up because I know I can be a total handful sometimes, but I just had to share this little epiphany with you all! You know how I'm always tripping over my own feet or second-guessing every single decision I make, well, I finally had one of those "aha!" moments that actually felt productive for once. It’s funny how we spend so much time worrying about the tiny, insignificant details that we completely miss the big picture staring us right in the face, isn't it? I was sitting there thinking about how much energy I waste on things that don't even matter, and it hit me like a ton of bricks that I really need to start prioritizing my peace of mind over being perfectly organized all the time. Anyway, I'm feeling super pumped about this new outlook, even if I'll probably go back to my old, chaotic ways by tomorrow morning! kaže:
You know, I’ve been thinking about this lately, and honestly, it feels like you only need two people to start a relationship, but somehow it takes three to actually break one apart—and no, I’m definitely not talking about a kid!😁

Michael Bishop8 said:That is honestly so true... but I can't help feeling like I'm stuck in a situation where one tiny slip-up could bring the whole thing crashing down. My therapist actually described it perfectly—it's like trying to walk across a frozen lake while holding a bar of wet soap that you absolutely cannot let drop.
And through all this, I have this nagging fear that if I stop "chasing" her, she’ll just turn around and walk away for good. Maybe I am totally overthinking it, who knows? Lately, I've been trying really hard to step back and not be the one doing all the pursuing, but it feels like we're just drifting further apart.

slydriver17 said:You know what, I've been thinking about it. Just let it go.

Alex Thomas6 said:
Of course, you can love whoever you want without them ever even finding out. No one is going to tell you that your feelings aren't real just because they aren't mutual.

That said, the guy who started this thread is clearly trying everything in his power to save his marriage. But a marriage requires two people. It’s useless to insist that it's "fine" just because he loves her and therefore "shouldn't let her go." Nobody is suggesting he should be jumping for joy because she's running off to some lover—the guy she's actually in love with—or that he should be satisfied knowing she's having sex with another guy. Of course not. But there's a massive difference between recognizing where you actually stand in a relationship and deciding whether or not that situation makes you happy. You're implying that we're talking about letting her do whatever she wants, but nobody actually suggested that.

You can love whoever you want, and it’s only human to want that person to love you back instead of chasing after someone else. But being a functional adult means facing reality and learning how to swim in it. Being "healthy" doesn't mean throwing yourself at someone's feet and turning yourself into a doormat, all while convinced that acting like a pushover will somehow make them love you or keep them around.

Alex Thomas6 said:It’s like a three-way breakup where two people actually want to be together, leaving the third one out in the cold. You end up with a duo, and that first person just has to face the music and realize it’s time to go solo.

Michael Bishop8 said:

I honestly can't believe I'm even bringing this up because I know I can be a total handful sometimes, but I just had to share this little epiphany with you all! You know how I'm always tripping over my own feet or second-guessing every single decision I make, well, I finally had one of those "aha!" moments that actually felt productive for once. It’s funny how we spend so much time worrying about the tiny, insignificant details that we completely miss the big picture staring us right in the face, isn't it? I was sitting there thinking about how much energy I waste on things that don't even matter, and it hit me like a ton of bricks that I really need to start prioritizing my peace of mind over being perfectly organized all the time. Anyway, I'm feeling super pumped about this new outlook, even if I'll probably go back to my old, chaotic ways by tomorrow morning! kaže:
You know, I’ve been thinking about this lately, and honestly, it feels like you only need two people to start a relationship, but somehow it takes three to actually break one apart—and no, I’m definitely not talking about a kid!😁

You aren't kidding... that is spot on!

mistybison said:You aren't in control here. 🙂 Thinking you can manage Vera's reaction is purely an illusion. If you "let go," you'll see—nothing changes. 🙂 "Chasing" someone rarely works unless that person hasn't found anyone "better" yet, at which point they settle for the one who's "available," which is a pretty humiliating spot to be in, if you ask me. 😉 You essentially reduce yourself to the "placeholder" category or the "good enough for now" option. 😁

😁
The moment he found out she cheated, he should have just kicked her out. After spending one night sleeping in a park, she would have realized her mistake and come crawling back. She might even look at him with genuine respect again. 😁 Modern men just don't get it anymore—they've become too soft and passive. Then they act surprised when women cheat on them. 😁

Just kidding. 😛 😁