The Guilt Trip

Sandra Parker3 said:Maybe we actually made the right choice, but we just haven't figured out how to live with it yet. Is that where that feeling comes from?
We can work through it and push past it 🙂

But regardless, we made our choice, whether driven by our gut or someone else's pressure.

A "vicious cycle" makes it sound like change is impossible. And like finding peace is out of reach.

To me, a "vicious Circle" means it's hard to figure out how much of what we call guilt is actually ours, versus just swallowing values handed down by others. When you hit a certain age and start questioning those deep-seated beliefs, things get ugly—you realize people say one thing, do another, and you have no clue what they're really thinking. It leaves you doubting everything. If you don't feel like deconstructing every single thing shoved into your head during your childhood, fine. You can be a happy person, ignoring the past, present, and future...
But once life hits you with something heavy, those doubts float right to the surface. And honestly? I think my generation is defined by doubt—blaming the ones before us, or blaming ourselves...
I grew up with a completely different set of values. Today, my kids are learning that most of it is total garbage...
The bottom line? The whole thing is a mess...
So, some people swim through it better than others... but you, you see it as an inability to change and just making peace with it.
I’m definitely not the type to just "make peace" with nonsense, though I know there's still a lot of mental clutter in my own head that needs sorting out.
But hey, I'm lazy!
Most people operate this way, or else we'd all end up in an asylum, at war with ourselves and the world...🤷 😂 😛

Jonathan Mitchell said:To me, a "vicious Circle" means it's hard to figure out how much of what we call guilt is actually ours, versus just swallowing values handed down by others. When you hit a certain age and start questioning those deep-seated beliefs, things get ugly—you realize people say one thing, do another, and you have no clue what they're really thinking. It leaves you doubting everything. If you don't feel like deconstructing every single thing shoved into your head during your childhood, fine. You can be a happy person, ignoring the past, present, and future...
But once life hits you with something heavy, those doubts float right to the surface. And honestly? I think my generation is defined by doubt—blaming the ones before us, or blaming ourselves...
I grew up with a completely different set of values. Today, my kids are learning that most of it is total garbage...
The bottom line? The whole thing is a mess...
So, some people swim through it better than others... but you, you see it as an inability to change and just making peace with it.
I’m definitely not the type to just "make peace" with nonsense, though I know there's still a lot of mental clutter in my own head that needs sorting out.
But hey, I'm lazy!
Most people operate this way, or else we'd all end up in an asylum, at war with ourselves and the world...🤷 😂 😛

Just try using a spiral instead of a Circle 😵
A Circle has no beginning, no end, and no exit—just some messy blur inside...
But a spiral builds on itself and keeps moving forward... 😁

As for the doubt, honestly, I think it's perfectly fine.

Everything stuck in your "head" can be worked through, you lazybones (welcome to the club)🙄
And you won't end up in an asylum because of it.
You'll eventually feel when it's getting to be too much and know when to stop.
Take a break.
Then pick it back up and blah blah blah... 😁

Jonathan Mitchell said:I wouldn't say it's easier to deal with our own guilt... honestly, it's just one big vicious cycle. And that "internal" guilt is built up because we're social creatures and all that...
But I couldn't care less what my neighbor down the street thinks. What would actually kill me is if someone I actually love and respect had something to say about it. For myself? That's the hardest part to forgive...

The truth is, we spend so much time keeping ourselves on such incredibly short leashes, though at the end of the day, that’s entirely our own choice to make... 🙂

Once a person finally gets their own internal house in order, that heavy weight of guilt—whether it's from something you did or something someone else pulled on you—rarely follows you around anymore.

And there’s really nothing wrong with leaning on that old prayer:
"God, give me the strength to accept the things I simply cannot change,
the courage to go after changing the things I actually can,
and the wisdom to always tell the difference between the two."

Sandra Parker3 said:Just try using a spiral instead of a Circle 😵
A Circle has no beginning, no end, and no exit—just some messy blur inside...
But a spiral builds on itself and keeps moving forward... 😁

As for the doubt, honestly, I think it's perfectly fine.

Everything stuck in your "head" can be worked through, you lazybones (welcome to the club)🙄
And you won't end up in an asylum because of it.
You'll eventually feel when it's getting to be too much and know when to stop.
Take a break.
Then pick it back up and blah blah blah... 😁

hehe...
nah, this is just the first step toward the mental asylum forum 🙂
unless that counts as resting.
I'm thinking about everything under the sun and it's all swirling around my brain trying to find a place to process, while I'm over here feeling 😍 the first signs of losing it!
See, even my buddy is telling me I should go hang out with psychiatry before they come knocking on my ☕
door.

rustymaker5 said:The truth is, we spend so much time keeping ourselves on such incredibly short leashes, though at the end of the day, that’s entirely our own choice to make... 🙂

Once a person finally gets their own internal house in order, that heavy weight of guilt—whether it's from something you did or something someone else pulled on you—rarely follows you around anymore.

And there’s really nothing wrong with leaning on that old prayer:
"God, give me the strength to accept the things I simply cannot change,
the courage to go after changing the things I actually can,
and the wisdom to always tell the difference between the two."

Yeah, right... see, that's exactly where you're wrong.
The second you actually try to do something right—when you really put in the effort—is exactly when you realize what a complete disaster you've actually been.😵