#41 ·
Look, Iām just going to attempt to clear up a few of the lingering uncertainties that have surfaced in your postsāthough I can't promise to settle everything...
I find myself operating under the assumption that if you were to ask even a blind man for his perspective on this particular mess, heād likely offer you something entirely different from what the rest of you are peddling...
I lost my sight during my junior year of collegeāitās hard to claim any real authority when I talk about how I perceived color back then. A few years after that, I developed this intense obsession with red; itās the shade that has lingered most stubbornly in my mind, likely because of its sheer aggression, though there was also one specific scene from that time where red just seemed to swallow everything else whole. Over the years, though, that clarity has faded... itās become a memory of a memory. Now, I find myself merely remembering the fact that I once remembered that red...
There was a certain stretch of my life where I found myself inexplicably drawn to pinkāa phase that felt almost overwhelming at timesābut then, eventually, the pendulum swung toward purple, and I suppose Iāve stayed there ever since... It remains a favorite of mine, even now.
Everything I claim to know about color theory is nothing more than dry, academic abstractionāwarm versus cold, vibrant versus pastel, light versus darkāand frankly, none of those textbook definitions have done much to help me actually connect with them. Still, I suppose there was a certain necessity to forming these mental concepts, even back in my early childhood... a need to categorize the world just to make sense of it. Ultimately, all Iām left with is my own imagination, and my perception of color remains something entirely internal, existing only within the confines of my own mind. For instance, while the textbooks insist that purple is a cool tone, to me, it possesses this inexplicable warmth. It isn't the searing heat you get from a red, of course, but there is a certain glow to it... a comfort. Even if my understanding of the spectrum is wildly detached from reality, I find this subjective version far more interestingāthough, I highly doubt I would be able to identify a single actual color if I were suddenly granted sight...
There have been various attempts to stage color through touch, sound, or even scentāan interesting concept, I supposeābut I canāt help but feel that any such experience would be entirely beholden to the individual's subjective perception of those colors... which makes the whole endeavor somewhat precarious. In my own experience, Iāve found that two people can encounter the exact same aroma yet walk away with vastly different impressions and descriptions. If we cannot even agree on the essence of a single scent, how could we ever hope to standardize the "feeling" of a hue? Of course, these sensory experiments aren't entirely without meritāthey might offer a fleeting hint or a vague approximationābut they will never truly capture the soul of color... not in any meaningful way.
As someone living with blindness, I find myself constantly confronted by this recurring question regarding color dreamsāspecifically, how exactly one "sees" in them. There is always this palpable sense of anticipation in the way people ask, an eagerness for me to recount some vivid, Technicolor odyssey that simply doesn't exist... or at least, isn't interesting to me. I don't dream in color, nor do I dream through sight, even though my sleeping mind is perfectly capable of conjuring things that would be physically impossible in reality. For instance, in a dream, I might possess an absolute certainty that an object is positioned right in front of me without ever having touched itāor Iāll know with total clarity that a specific person is standing in the room, even if I haven't heard their voice. I don't "see" them, per se; it is more of a profound, intuitive awareness of their presence... Naturally, those who have spent their lives seeing likely experience a fundamentally different dreamscapeāone fueled by their ability to recall colors and the visual textures they've internalized over a lifetime...
I have to admit, the whole concept of regression sounded rather intriguing when it was first brought upāit certainly piqued my interestābut my actual understanding of the mechanics behind it is admittedly thin. I wouldnāt dream of venturing too deep into that particular rabbit hole without more substance... it feels a bit premature to weigh in just yet.
"A world of darkness"... itās a phrase people toss around all the time, isn't it? And frankly, I find it difficult to wrap my head around the logic behind it. I don't feel like I'm inhabiting some alternate dimensionāand believe me, the people I deal with every day, the ones who actually know me, certainly don't perceive me as someone living in some sort of gloomy, shadow-filled void. I constantly get these little comments thrown my wayāthings like, "Why haven't you turned on the light?" or "Can you grab me that blue shirt?"āas if there were some visual struggle occurring. And since weāre on the subject of darknessāthough I realize how difficult this might be for some to graspāI don't actually know what darkness *is*. Not in the sense we discussed regarding colors, anyway. Because I don't perceive light, the concept of darkness simply doesn't exist for me. This whole idea of "living in the dark" is fundamentally flawed from my perspective; I recently found myself in a rather tedious debate with someone trying to argue the opposite point. They were attempting to convince me that my reality consists entirely of darkness, and that I just somehow fail to recognize it. It was quite absurd... and utterly unconvincing. I tried explaining it to them, much as I have to others, that the visual faculty simply isn't part of my biology. Itās as if I belong to a species that was never equipped with sight to begin with. Just as one cannot see out of their knee or their back because there are no visual receptors there to process an image, I simply do not "see" through eyes...
Iām not entirely sure if this will actually clear things up for any of youāthough I certainly tried my best to lay it all out...
I find myself operating under the assumption that if you were to ask even a blind man for his perspective on this particular mess, heād likely offer you something entirely different from what the rest of you are peddling...
I lost my sight during my junior year of collegeāitās hard to claim any real authority when I talk about how I perceived color back then. A few years after that, I developed this intense obsession with red; itās the shade that has lingered most stubbornly in my mind, likely because of its sheer aggression, though there was also one specific scene from that time where red just seemed to swallow everything else whole. Over the years, though, that clarity has faded... itās become a memory of a memory. Now, I find myself merely remembering the fact that I once remembered that red...
There was a certain stretch of my life where I found myself inexplicably drawn to pinkāa phase that felt almost overwhelming at timesābut then, eventually, the pendulum swung toward purple, and I suppose Iāve stayed there ever since... It remains a favorite of mine, even now.
Everything I claim to know about color theory is nothing more than dry, academic abstractionāwarm versus cold, vibrant versus pastel, light versus darkāand frankly, none of those textbook definitions have done much to help me actually connect with them. Still, I suppose there was a certain necessity to forming these mental concepts, even back in my early childhood... a need to categorize the world just to make sense of it. Ultimately, all Iām left with is my own imagination, and my perception of color remains something entirely internal, existing only within the confines of my own mind. For instance, while the textbooks insist that purple is a cool tone, to me, it possesses this inexplicable warmth. It isn't the searing heat you get from a red, of course, but there is a certain glow to it... a comfort. Even if my understanding of the spectrum is wildly detached from reality, I find this subjective version far more interestingāthough, I highly doubt I would be able to identify a single actual color if I were suddenly granted sight...
There have been various attempts to stage color through touch, sound, or even scentāan interesting concept, I supposeābut I canāt help but feel that any such experience would be entirely beholden to the individual's subjective perception of those colors... which makes the whole endeavor somewhat precarious. In my own experience, Iāve found that two people can encounter the exact same aroma yet walk away with vastly different impressions and descriptions. If we cannot even agree on the essence of a single scent, how could we ever hope to standardize the "feeling" of a hue? Of course, these sensory experiments aren't entirely without meritāthey might offer a fleeting hint or a vague approximationābut they will never truly capture the soul of color... not in any meaningful way.
As someone living with blindness, I find myself constantly confronted by this recurring question regarding color dreamsāspecifically, how exactly one "sees" in them. There is always this palpable sense of anticipation in the way people ask, an eagerness for me to recount some vivid, Technicolor odyssey that simply doesn't exist... or at least, isn't interesting to me. I don't dream in color, nor do I dream through sight, even though my sleeping mind is perfectly capable of conjuring things that would be physically impossible in reality. For instance, in a dream, I might possess an absolute certainty that an object is positioned right in front of me without ever having touched itāor Iāll know with total clarity that a specific person is standing in the room, even if I haven't heard their voice. I don't "see" them, per se; it is more of a profound, intuitive awareness of their presence... Naturally, those who have spent their lives seeing likely experience a fundamentally different dreamscapeāone fueled by their ability to recall colors and the visual textures they've internalized over a lifetime...
I have to admit, the whole concept of regression sounded rather intriguing when it was first brought upāit certainly piqued my interestābut my actual understanding of the mechanics behind it is admittedly thin. I wouldnāt dream of venturing too deep into that particular rabbit hole without more substance... it feels a bit premature to weigh in just yet.
"A world of darkness"... itās a phrase people toss around all the time, isn't it? And frankly, I find it difficult to wrap my head around the logic behind it. I don't feel like I'm inhabiting some alternate dimensionāand believe me, the people I deal with every day, the ones who actually know me, certainly don't perceive me as someone living in some sort of gloomy, shadow-filled void. I constantly get these little comments thrown my wayāthings like, "Why haven't you turned on the light?" or "Can you grab me that blue shirt?"āas if there were some visual struggle occurring. And since weāre on the subject of darknessāthough I realize how difficult this might be for some to graspāI don't actually know what darkness *is*. Not in the sense we discussed regarding colors, anyway. Because I don't perceive light, the concept of darkness simply doesn't exist for me. This whole idea of "living in the dark" is fundamentally flawed from my perspective; I recently found myself in a rather tedious debate with someone trying to argue the opposite point. They were attempting to convince me that my reality consists entirely of darkness, and that I just somehow fail to recognize it. It was quite absurd... and utterly unconvincing. I tried explaining it to them, much as I have to others, that the visual faculty simply isn't part of my biology. Itās as if I belong to a species that was never equipped with sight to begin with. Just as one cannot see out of their knee or their back because there are no visual receptors there to process an image, I simply do not "see" through eyes...
Iām not entirely sure if this will actually clear things up for any of youāthough I certainly tried my best to lay it all out...