What should I get for a godparent gift at a Baptism?

Rachel Jones8 said:Honestly, it’s hard to believe a 6-year-old would come up with something like that entirely on her own without any influence from home or school.
Still, I respect her choice, and I think you guys handled it perfectly by being chill about it.

On a different note, I really wasn't a fan of how aggressive one of those preschool teachers was being about it.

Look, it’s incredibly difficult for you to judge the situation when you don't actually know my child, and if you did, you might have a different take on it altogether.
Sometimes I feel a sense of regret because she has always been far beyond her years. Sure, call her "mature," fine, but even at three, her cognitive reasoning was more aligned with a six-year-old, and by six, she was operating on an even higher level—not to mention now that she's nine...
It’s not that I’m trying to praise her, per se; truthfully, it’s almost a burden because she often struggles to relate to children her own age who are actually behaving like typical kids.

Rachel Jones8 said:What kind of crowd are we talking about? Not just the secular types, but actual religious folks? Don't they usually make a huge deal out of those ceremonies and all the gifts?🤷

We don't live in atheist neighborhoods, 🙄
we’re basically the first "outcasts" because we don't subscribe to the ideology. We don't consider ourselves religious, and we don't exactly follow church traditions religiously—not that we'd want to—so we aren't going to mark our kids with those rituals from day one just to fit in.
That pretty much makes us an immediate target, I guess.
There are very few truly practicing believers around us. About 99% of our family and friends are "religious" on paper—mostly just because everyone else is.

Realistically, sacraments have turned into a "follow the crowd" type of thing.
And we really aren't interested in following the crowd. 🤣

Charles Murphy6 said:Look, it’s incredibly difficult for you to judge the situation when you don't actually know my child, and if you did, you might have a different take on it altogether.
Sometimes I feel a sense of regret because she has always been far beyond her years. Sure, call her "mature," fine, but even at three, her cognitive reasoning was more aligned with a six-year-old, and by six, she was operating on an even higher level—not to mention now that she's nine...
It’s not that I’m trying to praise her, per se; truthfully, it’s almost a burden because she often struggles to relate to children her own age who are actually behaving like typical kids.

Maybe, but I don't think that really applies here... I mean, how can someone want something they've never even heard of? Like, if they haven't heard anything positive or cool about it?

I used to feel bad because she was always way ahead of her age. Sure, she was mature. But by three, she was thinking like a six-year-old. By six, she was on another level entirely, and now at nine? Don't even get me started.
Not trying to brag or anything. Honestly, I just feel for her sometimes because she struggles to relate to kids her own age who are actually acting their age.

Reading your posts about her, I kept thinking we have almost identical kids. Mine was surprisingly logical for a two-year-old—her reasoning, her reactions, her speech... it stuck with me. She was so calm, no tantrums or screaming fits. But I can't really relate to this specific situation; my kid isn't some genius, she's pretty average...
She was a total standout as a baby... but if she suddenly wanted to get baptized (she is, but whatever) or something like that... wouldn't that have to come from somewhere else? It's hard to imagine a kid just coming up with something like that on their own.
It doesn't have to be a teacher or a priest; it could be school friends, a brother, a dad, a stepmom... whoever. If a kid doesn't know something exists or that it's "cool," how are they supposed to want it? Just like a smartphone. 😁

Peter Doyle2 said:We don't live in atheist neighborhoods, 🙄
we’re basically the first "outcasts" because we don't subscribe to the ideology. We don't consider ourselves religious, and we don't exactly follow church traditions religiously—not that we'd want to—so we aren't going to mark our kids with those rituals from day one just to fit in.
That pretty much makes us an immediate target, I guess.
There are very few truly practicing believers around us. About 99% of our family and friends are "religious" on paper—mostly just because everyone else is.

Realistically, sacraments have turned into a "follow the crowd" type of thing.
And we really aren't interested in following the crowd. 🤣

It all feels so confusing to me... why doesn't faith promote things like modesty or simplicity instead of constantly asking for... laptops, gold, tablets, or huge donations for this and that?
Man, 🙂

Rachel Jones8 said:It all feels so confusing to me... why doesn't faith promote things like modesty or simplicity instead of constantly asking for... laptops, gold, tablets, or huge donations for this and that?
Man, 🙂

Actually, I'd argue the exact opposite—I think faith, the church, and the sacrament itself are supposed to represent something completely different.
It seems like we've just developed this local tradition where people feel pressured to buy gifts worth an entire average paycheck, or sometimes even taking out a small loan just to cover it (I remember back in the day, everyone was obsessed with getting those high-end scooters—basically motorized things that cost at least $2,000 or more).
It would be really interesting if someone living abroad could weigh in—maybe tell us what the typical gift values look like over there, or if people even receive significant gifts from godparents during Confirmation. ☕
For instance, what about people in Italy, Spain, or Portugal? They are traditionally Catholic countries, so I'm curious about what their customs are regarding the Sacrament of Confirmation. 🤷

For my confirmation about ten years ago, I received a Sony video camera 😁, and a few years back, my brother got a laptop. It seems like tech has become the go-to standard lately. We never actually asked for anything—we’re pretty low-maintenance—but our godparents knew they could hit the mark with electronics since we were always into computers and gaming. They probably just assumed that's what expensive gifts are supposed to be these days. If I were in their shoes, I’d probably just get a decent watch—you can find some really stylish Fossil pieces at a reasonable price—or maybe some jewelry, though that's a gamble if the person isn't into it. Honestly, just giving cash in an envelope so they can buy whatever they actually want is often the best move. 🙂

I agree that this whole thing is overblown and has nothing to do with faith. In fact, even from a religious standpoint, it feels excessive. I remember when I was 13 or 14, we spent an entire year going to the local church for prep classes alongside our school religion studies. We ended up having this exam one day where they grilled us on nonsense like the fifth commandment or the fifth line of the Lord's Prayer. Looking back, all that brainwashing feels pretty ridiculous, but you have to jump through those hoops because of the traditionalist mindset here—it's all about family expectations and "what will people think." Whether you're Catholic, Protestant, or Muslim, there's this social pressure to conform by default. Sorry for the slight OT, but I had to say it. 😁

Peter Doyle2 said:Actually, I'd argue the exact opposite—I think faith, the church, and the sacrament itself are supposed to represent something completely different.
It seems like we've just developed this local tradition where people feel pressured to buy gifts worth an entire average paycheck, or sometimes even taking out a small loan just to cover it (I remember back in the day, everyone was obsessed with getting those high-end scooters—basically motorized things that cost at least $2,000 or more).
It would be really interesting if someone living abroad could weigh in—maybe tell us what the typical gift values look like over there, or if people even receive significant gifts from godparents during Confirmation. ☕
For instance, what about people in Italy, Spain, or Portugal? They are traditionally Catholic countries, so I'm curious about what their customs are regarding the Sacrament of Confirmation. 🤷

Guess their version of "promoting" is pretty weak then...😢
And apparently, tradition is just a total joke.

Rachel Jones8 said:Guess their version of "promoting" is pretty weak then...😢
And apparently, tradition is just a total joke.

But, if you really think about it, isn't that just how things go everywhere?
Okay, I know this thread is specifically about Christ, so I shouldn't drift too far off-topic—though it feels like everything ends up being like that eventually.
With all the sacraments (except maybe Communion—I guess those numbers are still relatively reasonable since you don't need specific godparents, though I hear people are even booking out restaurants for those now...) it's basically the same story. It's expected that the godparent will go to great lengths to 🙄

Peter Doyle2 said:But, if you really think about it, isn't that just how things go everywhere?
Okay, I know this thread is specifically about Christ, so I shouldn't drift too far off-topic—though it feels like everything ends up being like that eventually.
With all the sacraments (except maybe Communion—I guess those numbers are still relatively reasonable since you don't need specific godparents, though I hear people are even booking out restaurants for those now...) it's basically the same story. It's expected that the godparent will go to great lengths to 🙄

I don't know... maybe? I'm a bit out of the loop here... I had no clue we were talking about such massive amounts of money and gifts like this.

okay, this is a thread about Christmas, so I don't want us to drift too far off-topic, but that's just how life goes.
with all the sacraments

With all what? All the sacraments... what else is there?
Now you're bringing up sacraments, but I thought you were just speaking generally about how people give expensive gifts nowadays... regardless of the church or anything religious.

(maybe except for First Communion—since finding godparents is so hard lately, those costs stay somewhat reasonable.. I mean, I think they do, though I haven't been to one in a while, but I hear people are throwing huge parties at restaurants for those now too)

No godparents, but still expensive gifts?

that's just how it is.. there's an expectation for the godparent to really shell out🙄

And the "tradition" is basically picking someone who actually can and wants to pay, rather than someone who either can't afford it or is just going to ignore the whole thing.

When I say things work this way across the board, I mean confirmation isn't the only sacrament where godparents end up shelling out big bucks—it’s the same story with baptisms and weddings too.

I mean, it feels like First Communion is somewhat less intense since there aren't really godparents involved, but I’ve noticed people are starting to celebrate Communion in restaurants more often lately. And once you're at a restaurant, family won't even dream of showing up unless they cover at least one seat, and if the family covers the seat, then I guess the godparent should probably cover two... and so on. 🥳

I guess that’s just my impression as an outside observer.
I don't really participate in these traditions, nor am I—God forbid—ever asked to be part of them.
If it’s someone I’m not actually close to in life, I’d probably settle the godparent duty with a quick, minimal gesture.
But if it’s someone truly close to me, I’ll agree, though I’ll probably include a long-winded lecture about my actual views on the church and faith. If they still insist on me being their godparent, well, what can you do? Okay. Only, money wouldn't be an issue then, because I know that when I give to someone I care about, I'm giving from the heart and doing whatever I can.
And honestly, I don't care at all that everyone else is out buying scooters or laptops; I simply can't afford that stuff. And the person asking me to be a godparent knows that, too.

It sounds terrible to say, but sometimes I feel like getting a divorce just on paper would be worth it just so people would stop nagging me about godparent duties.
Anyway, I personally think a church wedding is one of the biggest headaches in life. 🙄
Fortunately, I grew a backbone in time and didn't raise my kid to just follow the crowd and... well... go along with everything.

wanderinggardener12 said:I once bought a Samsonite suitcase for one person, fueled by nothing but the dream of seeing the world; I bought a piece of graphic art for another, which now hangs on her parents' wall until she can claim it for herself; and I even covered a trip to Rome for two, where she got to travel alongside her mother.
The ideas just keep coming:
- A complete aquarium setup, fish and all the gear included
- Foreign language immersion courses
- A massive encyclopedia or perhaps a classic anthology of poetry...
- A season pass to the local theater
- Skydiving, paired with a commemorative photo book
- A hot air balloon ride, also with a keepsake book
- A high-quality camera
- A bicycle
- A dog (provided the parents actually agree to it)
- Speed reading workshops
- A musical instrument.
There is plenty more where that came from.

Just imagine being fifteen years old in this digital age and receiving a giant encyclopedia...
Oh my god...

Peter Doyle2 As I was saying, there really isn't much else to add to the matter at hand, though I suppose one could attempt to dwell on the minutiae if they possessed the infinite patience required for such a tedious endeavor.
To be perfectly honest, I’ve come to the weary conclusion that a religious wedding ceremony is easily one of the six great blunders of a human life. 🙄
Thank goodness I finally managed to grow a backbone and stand my ground against the constant pressure from everyone around me, because quite frankly, I have absolutely no intention of ruining my child’s life just to follow some mindless "everyone else is doing it" mentality—it’s honestly exhausting how people think conformity is a virtue.

Just as an aside, if you were married in a church but haven't actually had the child baptized, then frankly, you aren't really cut out for the role of godmother—not that we even use that term properly here, since at a wedding ceremony they are technically just witnesses rather than godparents. During the vows, the priest asks: "Are you prepared to receive these children with the love of God and raise them according to the law of Christ and His Church?" And you were supposed to say yes. But since you haven't baptized the child or provided a religious upbringing, you’re essentially living in violation of the oath you took before the altar; it is a continuous sin because the situation remains unrectified. It is quite similar to those people who are divorced yet continue to live with someone else—they simply refuse to correct their sinful state.

I truly don’t believe we can lay the blame at the feet of the Church when it comes to our peculiar, almost pathological American tendency toward excessive gift-giving. It is woven into the very fabric of how we operate, isn't it? I mean, honestly, I once served as a maid of honor where the ring alone cost more than a decent used car—it was utterly absurd, though I suppose that is just how we do things now. $67With a Bible worth $160 and a little bouquet of flowers—honestly, if you know, you know. It’s all part of the ritual, isn't it? But really, the burden should fall on the parents to keep those adolescent whims and sudden demands somewhat in check, not to mention managing the megalomaniacal urges of the godparents who seem absolutely desperate to prove whose status is more significant.

feralmoose32 said:Just imagine being fifteen years old in this digital age and receiving a giant encyclopedia...
Oh my god...

I can see it now. The sour expression, the disbelief, the aimless flipping through pages just hoping to find some loose change tucked inside... But regardless of how that kid reacts, I wouldn't participate in dulling their intellect, whether they appreciated it or not. If encyclopedias were sold with premium branding on the cover, they’d certainly be a coveted gift. An encyclopedia from a flea market—$33, from Name—maybe 200, from Benetton—300, and the prices would just keep climbing... And if it were a special edition tailored for blue-eyed kids standing between 5'3" and 5'5", you could probably tack on another 20% to the price tag...

Besides, do you really believe everything worth knowing is available online? A general encyclopedia was merely a small irony—a testament to the idea that a physical book is something truly worth owning for anyone with half a brain. And if they haven't reached that level yet, well, I can at least wish it for them.

And just imagine having a fifteen-year-old whose highest ambition in life is to get some mindless gadget (some "i-something") that will be obsolete before they even fully understand how it works, leaving them to cycle through three more identical devices before they even finish high school.
I know a girl who spent 62 hours on her phone in just one month (with a bill totaling $400)! Buying a smartphone or any similar device for someone like that is essentially telling them
that this behavior is perfectly acceptable...

feralmoose32 said:Just imagine being fifteen years old in this digital age and receiving a giant encyclopedia...
Oh my god...

wanderinggardener12 said:I can see it now. The sour expression, the disbelief, the aimless flipping through pages just hoping to find some loose change tucked inside... But regardless of how that kid reacts, I wouldn't participate in dulling their intellect, whether they appreciated it or not. If encyclopedias were sold with premium branding on the cover, they’d certainly be a coveted gift. An encyclopedia from a flea market—$33, from Name—maybe 200, from Benetton—300, and the prices would just keep climbing... And if it were a special edition tailored for blue-eyed kids standing between 5'3" and 5'5", you could probably tack on another 20% to the price tag...

Besides, do you really believe everything worth knowing is available online? A general encyclopedia was merely a small irony—a testament to the idea that a physical book is something truly worth owning for anyone with half a brain. And if they haven't reached that level yet, well, I can at least wish it for them.

And just imagine having a fifteen-year-old whose highest ambition in life is to get some mindless gadget (some "i-something") that will be obsolete before they even fully understand how it works, leaving them to cycle through three more identical devices before they even finish high school.
I know a girl who spent 62 hours on her phone in just one month (with a bill totaling $400)! Buying a smartphone or any similar device for someone like that is essentially telling them
that this behavior is perfectly acceptable...

That’s why gifts really need to be personal, and it’s so important to actually know a little bit about the child you're buying for. One kid might be absolutely thrilled with an encyclopedia, while for another, it might be the last time they ever lay eyes on one. You shouldn't just buy gifts off a template, or at least, you shouldn't.

wanderinggardener12 said:I can see it now. The sour expression, the disbelief, the aimless flipping through pages just hoping to find some loose change tucked inside... But regardless of how that kid reacts, I wouldn't participate in dulling their intellect, whether they appreciated it or not. If encyclopedias were sold with premium branding on the cover, they’d certainly be a coveted gift. An encyclopedia from a flea market—$33, from Name—maybe 200, from Benetton—300, and the prices would just keep climbing... And if it were a special edition tailored for blue-eyed kids standing between 5'3" and 5'5", you could probably tack on another 20% to the price tag...

Besides, do you really believe everything worth knowing is available online? A general encyclopedia was merely a small irony—a testament to the idea that a physical book is something truly worth owning for anyone with half a brain. And if they haven't reached that level yet, well, I can at least wish it for them.

And just imagine having a fifteen-year-old whose highest ambition in life is to get some mindless gadget (some "i-something") that will be obsolete before they even fully understand how it works, leaving them to cycle through three more identical devices before they even finish high school.
I know a girl who spent 62 hours on her phone in just one month (with a bill totaling $400)! Buying a smartphone or any similar device for someone like that is essentially telling them
that this behavior is perfectly acceptable...

I am always, absolutely, all for books—but like Ribez mentioned, it's really about the child who actually finds value in them, like a kid obsessed with astrology who wants books on that specific subject...

Unfortunately, the info in an encyclopedia will probably become outdated long before a new phone model hits the shelves...

To give a real-world example, my father-in-law is a total bookworm, and about 20 or 25 years ago, he gave a full set of encyclopedias to his godson...
The kid wasn't exactly thrilled, so it isn't just about the greediness of today's youth—it's really about whether the gift is appropriate for the recipient...
Even today, everyone in the house still teases him about it, especially his sons...

Peter Doyle2 said:Actually, I'd argue the exact opposite—I think faith, the church, and the sacrament itself are supposed to represent something completely different.
It seems like we've just developed this local tradition where people feel pressured to buy gifts worth an entire average paycheck, or sometimes even taking out a small loan just to cover it (I remember back in the day, everyone was obsessed with getting those high-end scooters—basically motorized things that cost at least $2,000 or more).
It would be really interesting if someone living abroad could weigh in—maybe tell us what the typical gift values look like over there, or if people even receive significant gifts from godparents during Confirmation. ☕
For instance, what about people in Italy, Spain, or Portugal? They are traditionally Catholic countries, so I'm curious about what their customs are regarding the Sacrament of Confirmation. 🤷

Well, you called, so here I am. I'm an Italian woman; my parents are from the South, though I was born and raised up North.
What can I tell you? Expensive gifts are pretty standard in Italy too, though it seems to me—and I'm not saying this is a universal rule—that they might actually be more common for First Communion than for confirmation, mostly because parents (and the whole extended family) tend to have much more influence over a ten-year-old than they do over a teenager.

In my own experience, at least within my circle as far as I know, I was going through that phase during my confirmation where I was constantly questioning my family and all these traditions, so I didn't exactly throw a huge party; I just received some cash from my godmother which I tucked away until I started saving up for something specific (a summer English course in Ireland).
Along with that, I got a rosary as a keepsake, which I also set aside for a while before eventually starting to carry it in my bag about four years later—and I still do.

Now, I'm not saying it was like that for everyone, but nobody looked at me like I had just fallen from Mars. If I had grown up in a tiny town down South, I'm sure I would have faced all sorts of reactions, and honestly, I don't even know how I would have handled them.

Sorry for the long post.🙂

wanderinggardener12 said:I can see it now. The sour expression, the disbelief, the aimless flipping through pages just hoping to find some loose change tucked inside... But regardless of how that kid reacts, I wouldn't participate in dulling their intellect, whether they appreciated it or not. If encyclopedias were sold with premium branding on the cover, they’d certainly be a coveted gift. An encyclopedia from a flea market—$33, from Name—maybe 200, from Benetton—300, and the prices would just keep climbing... And if it were a special edition tailored for blue-eyed kids standing between 5'3" and 5'5", you could probably tack on another 20% to the price tag...

Besides, do you really believe everything worth knowing is available online? A general encyclopedia was merely a small irony—a testament to the idea that a physical book is something truly worth owning for anyone with half a brain. And if they haven't reached that level yet, well, I can at least wish it for them.

And just imagine having a fifteen-year-old whose highest ambition in life is to get some mindless gadget (some "i-something") that will be obsolete before they even fully understand how it works, leaving them to cycle through three more identical devices before they even finish high school.
I know a girl who spent 62 hours on her phone in just one month (with a bill totaling $400)! Buying a smartphone or any similar device for someone like that is essentially telling them
that this behavior is perfectly acceptable...

Please, amateur 😬.

(with a bill totaling $400)!

If parents would just take a moment to actually look into their data plans—I mean, really study them—this wouldn't happen. Unless, of course, the kid is spending twenty-four hours a day chatting away with some Sjorgen from Sweden, I don't see how—provided they pick a decent plan—anyone could rack up a charge like that.

BTW, more often than not, the real issue turns out to be how many hours those parents were actually glued to their own devices alongside "that kind of girl."

1. a sharp suit
2. a wallet
3. a beach house in Malibu
4. a yacht
5. a car
6. movie tickets
7. a toothbrush
...

Justin Taylor812 said:1. a sharp suit
2. a wallet
3. a beach house in Malibu
4. a yacht
5. a car
6. movie tickets
7. a toothbrush
...

Something for everyone, right? Just pick what you like. 😁
I'd also add to number 2:
a) slim
b) chunky

...just curious, how much would be considered "normal" to chip in for a best man's gift?