What should I get for a godparent gift at a Baptism?

Kate Allen said:Well, what can you say...
Honestly? I'd feel pretty crappy about it all...
If we could just pull up the footage right now—I mean, Jesus God, there's a recording for everything these days, isn't there?
It's basically living proof that everything you said in that last post, River, was spot on...

I bet even that kid would have acted the same way if you'd gone out and bought him an iPhone4...

But her actual wish was just for an iPhone or maybe "even just" a laptop

Charles Hayes6 said:But her actual wish was just for an iPhone or maybe "even just" a laptop

Oh, wonderful. So that explains why my buddy was acting like such a jerk...
Honestly, that’s just awful...
What can I even say... it’s all about how you were raised, right? Just lovely...

But hey, that photo of you with the cake turned out great...🤣
Though, I have heard there are those weird iPhone knockoffs floating around—you know, some cheap Chinese 😂

Forgive me for laughing at this, but I can totally imagine how much this sucks for you.

Charles Hayes6 said:But her actual wish was just for an iPhone or maybe "even just" a laptop

That’s it? What a modest kid.🙄
Now that I’ve actually had a moment to sit back and process everything, I’m starting to realize that it isn't even remotely rude to turn down being a godparent—even after you've already said yes—when someone suddenly comes flying at you with gifts like that.
Honestly, it’s a simple pivot; you thank them for the honor and then politely decline. Why on earth shouldn't you?
I would personally walk away from it without feeling a single ounce of guilt, no questions asked.☕

Charles Murphy6 said:That’s it? What a modest kid.🙄
Now that I’ve actually had a moment to sit back and process everything, I’m starting to realize that it isn't even remotely rude to turn down being a godparent—even after you've already said yes—when someone suddenly comes flying at you with gifts like that.
Honestly, it’s a simple pivot; you thank them for the honor and then politely decline. Why on earth shouldn't you?
I would personally walk away from it without feeling a single ounce of guilt, no questions asked.☕

Years ago, I was actually on the shortlist to be a godmother for a coworker (and I ended up being the godmother for the exact same person later on).
We had all these discussions about where the lunch would be held, what everyone should wear, and so on.
In front of everyone, I spoke up and said I wasn't a fan of the whole circus—the way godmothers go overboard with their outfits, parents with their crazy expectations, or even godparents taking out loans just to afford a gift. Plus, there's that weird tradition where the godparents end up footing the bill for the whole lunch.
Go ahead, take a guess.😉
I didn't get picked.😁
It stung at the time, but I ended up buying her a gold ring as a memento of the day, showed up to the church and the lunch, and felt totally fine about it.
To me, the best people are the ones who don't even bother showing up to the ceremony but still give the most generous gifts.

In my case, my goddaughter received an iPhone, which the godmother basically snagged during some discount sale—you know how it goes with those big corporate types who always have the latest tech.
I was against that too, though I have to admit today that the thing is a total beast of a machine.🙂

swiftbear86 said:Years ago, I was actually on the shortlist to be a godmother for a coworker (and I ended up being the godmother for the exact same person later on).
We had all these discussions about where the lunch would be held, what everyone should wear, and so on.
In front of everyone, I spoke up and said I wasn't a fan of the whole circus—the way godmothers go overboard with their outfits, parents with their crazy expectations, or even godparents taking out loans just to afford a gift. Plus, there's that weird tradition where the godparents end up footing the bill for the whole lunch.
Go ahead, take a guess.😉
I didn't get picked.😁
It stung at the time, but I ended up buying her a gold ring as a memento of the day, showed up to the church and the lunch, and felt totally fine about it.
To me, the best people are the ones who don't even bother showing up to the ceremony but still give the most generous gifts.

In my case, my goddaughter received an iPhone, which the godmother basically snagged during some discount sale—you know how it goes with those big corporate types who always have the latest tech.
I was against that too, though I have to admit today that the thing is a total beast of a machine.🙂

God, what kind of nonsense was that? An audition to be a godmother? A "candidate on a list"? 😕
When I was getting baptized, I knew exactly who I wanted by my side for a million different reasons, and there wasn't anyone else in the world who could fill that role. At the end of the day, the gifts were the last thing on my mind.

My older kids went through all their sacraments pretty strictly by the book. They picked their own godparents—people they actually feel close to and comfortable with. My daughter got a white gold bracelet and earrings from her godmother, plus a dress she picked out at her godmother's boutique. My son received a white gold anchor necklace, a phone (which was on sale for $167), and managed to snag some sneakers (around $200). They didn't ask for anything specific; they just wanted those people there, regardless of the gifts. Even though I’m not exactly a practicing believer—I don't really go to church—I guess I raised them with the right mindset, teaching them that sacraments aren't just an excuse to score presents. On the flip side, my daughter had the chance to be a godmother this year while in high school, and her godchild started coming up with these wild, vague demands, which I shut down immediately. I told her straight up that since she's just a high schooler, she could either buy a gift up to $300 or just give that much in a card. Nobody bought my kids a bunch of high-tech gadgets, even if they do have what they need, so I suppose if a kid is going through a sacrament, it should be about faith, not about what they can get out of it.

Charles Hayes6 said:So, it’s been about ten days since I stood there as the best man, and I finally feel like I can sit down and process everything. I wanted to share how the whole thing went with you guys. After overthinking it for ages, I finally settled on a gift combo: a nice watch, a camera, a cool book, a cake, and some cash in an envelope just so they could grab drinks later. I ended up dropping about $1100 on the whole thing. When we first walked into their place, I spent maybe five minutes catching up with my godson. I handed over the gifts, and he goes straight for the book—which was actually the biggest part of the package. But instead of really looking at it, he kind of peels it open from the bottom halfway up, doesn't even check out the title, and just stuffs it back in the bag. Then he opens the camera and makes some comment about how he can use it for his trips now. He checks out the watch, says it's nice, gives his thanks, and then just heads off to another room. Meanwhile, his mom leans in and whispers, "Wait, what did you guys actually get them?" Then we spent another five minutes in the church, just standing in line waiting for the Bishop to arrive. Honestly, the only photo taken of me was one with the Bishop himself. By the time evening rolled around and we were saying our goodbyes, we spent another few minutes with the kid, and he suddenly announces that once school lets out, he's heading to the coast for a couple of weeks!

That sounds so sad...

My husband was the confirmation godfather for our nephew (on my side of the family)
When we got to the restaurant, I noticed they had a high chair set up, but the little guy insisted on sitting right there next to my husband and me instead
I asked my sister why she wasn't making him sit in his own spot, and she told me he had specifically asked to sit with us because he wanted to be close to his godfather
It honestly warmed my heart so much, and my husband felt the exact same way...🙂

I’ve served as a maid of honor at two weddings now, and both times it was girls who felt just like my own daughters. They are such sweet, humble people. They chose me because they love me, and honestly, they didn't even give a thought to the gifts—it wasn't what mattered to them.
I can certainly afford to go big on gifts since that's never been an issue for me.
For one of them, I picked up a new Kindle Fire that cost about $1.75 and she was absolutely thrilled; she hasn't put it down since.
With the other girl, I put a lot more thought into it because her family is going through a bit of a rough patch financially, and she isn't exactly a tech person. Then I remembered how much she loves music and how much she wants to play the guitar. So, I got her one of those $1667 instead. She was overjoyed, and her parents actually signed her up for music school. Now she’s constantly performing at local competitions and concerts. Hearing her play makes me so proud! 😍

rowdyfox6 said:I’ve served as a maid of honor at two weddings now, and both times it was girls who felt just like my own daughters. They are such sweet, humble people. They chose me because they love me, and honestly, they didn't even give a thought to the gifts—it wasn't what mattered to them.
I can certainly afford to go big on gifts since that's never been an issue for me.
For one of them, I picked up a new Kindle Fire that cost about $1.75 and she was absolutely thrilled; she hasn't put it down since.
With the other girl, I put a lot more thought into it because her family is going through a bit of a rough patch financially, and she isn't exactly a tech person. Then I remembered how much she loves music and how much she wants to play the guitar. So, I got her one of those $1667 instead. She was overjoyed, and her parents actually signed her up for music school. Now she’s constantly performing at local competitions and concerts. Hearing her play makes me so proud! 😍

Honestly, those seem like massive amounts to spend on a 14-year-old's gift. (I mean, looking at average salaries here in the States, right?)

Rachel Jones8 said:Honestly, those seem like massive amounts to spend on a 14-year-old's gift. (I mean, looking at average salaries here in the States, right?)

In some parts of the US, the big graduation thing happens during sophomore year of high school.

Rachel Jones8 said:Honestly, those seem like massive amounts to spend on a 14-year-old's gift. (I mean, looking at average salaries here in the States, right?)

There's always someone making way above the average who can swing expensive gifts. If it makes them happy—and I know some folks definitely would love that kind of gesture 😁—then why not?

Honestly, I suppose it’s a blessing that I’m never chosen as a maid of honor, mostly because I just can't bring myself to say NO to anyone.
Now, regarding the whole issue of gifts...
I have always been quite reserved. I used to feel awkward even eating with relatives—fearing I might be an inconvenience or accidentally intruding on someone's lunch or dinner. So, they rarely even considered including me, though they really should ask out of basic politeness.🤷
I don't think it's ever appropriate to ask what someone wants for a gift, regardless of the occasion.
In my view, that is incredibly rude and lacks any real empathy (and frankly, it's just plain impolite).
Unfortunately, for reasons I can't quite grasp, my son is the complete opposite of me and my temperament. Despite all our long talks and my attempts at "guidance," he wouldn't hesitate for a single second. He would just bluntly state, "I want a new PC that can run the latest high-end games."🙄 This year, he barely scraped by with a C, and he constantly reminds me that I didn't buy him anything as a reward😳 for it.
I told him straight up that, as far as I'm concerned, he could have gotten away with a D, but he didn't even earn a C because he put in zero effort. Besides, if anyone deserved a gift, it should be me, since I spent so much time helping him stay afloat. He needs to realize he's studying for his own future, not for a prize. Of course, I could have just ignored all of that, but I refuse to use gifts as a way to bribe or reward him when there isn't actually a reason to do so. He has always been this way, and I guess it's my lucky break that I don't have to worry about being a maid of honor or picking out gifts, otherwise, I'd be put in a very uncomfortable position.
So, that is my take on parenting and children's endless demands.😁

What should you actually buy when you're a godparent at a Confirmation?

It’s honestly one of those questions that hits a nerve within the American Catholic community. I don't mean to step on any toes because I consider myself a believer too, but when it comes to First Communion, Confirmation, or even weddings, we have really lost our way. Don't get me wrong, gifts are fine, but lately, people are acting like oil tycoons from Kuwait.

I have one godchild who just finished their ceremony and another who hasn't yet, but just thinking about both makes me feel uneasy. Why? Because you can't even tell anyone—not the prospective godparents, not even the kids themselves—that these ridiculous gifts shouldn't be the main event. But they are. Everyone ends up in this weird competition, racing to see who can outdo the other... goodness knows how.

Look, I’m all for making sure the kid looks nice and gets a thoughtful little gift, but I am totally against the idea that a suit or a dress has to be designer label, or that the gift value needs to hit those four-digit numbers.

But, as I said, that mindset just doesn't fly anymore. I might just be tilting at windmills here...

Anyway, I was a godmother once and bought the girl a bracelet for under a thousand bucks. They didn't kick me out of the family or stop calling me, so I'm assuming they didn't have much to complain about.

I’m only sixteen, yet somehow I’ve already served as a maid of honor twice. When it came to my own business, I was hoping to receive something truly unique, something that stood out from the crowd... but honestly, I was pretty crushed by the gift I actually got. It’s only now that I’m starting to realize just how much capital you really have to set aside if you want to secure something "special." Now, a third time is on the horizon, and I can't help but feel like that might be pushing it a bit too far. What kind of gifts do you all suggest? Just please, don't suggest books or the Bible, because we all know that isn't something I’d personally want to receive at a formal event, let alone a girl who is only thirteen or fourteen.

When I went to a confirmation, I got a TV. Then, when I was the best man, I bought a scooter first, and then an Xbox 360 later on.

Looking back at this thread, I’ve come to realize that my parents' decision to skip my baptism—and my own subsequent choice to avoid communion, confirmation, and all that religious ritual—was easily one of the most foolish financial decisions I've ever made. 😢

Linda Price5 said:Looking back at this thread, I’ve come to realize that my parents' decision to skip my baptism—and my own subsequent choice to avoid communion, confirmation, and all that religious ritual—was easily one of the most foolish financial decisions I've ever made. 😢

We didn't even have a wedding! Just a small dinner with about 11 guests... if you think about the lost revenue there, it's staggering 😁
But hey, at least we saved ourselves a massive headache and kept our sanity intact. 😛

swiftbear86 said:Years ago, I was actually on the shortlist to be a godmother for a coworker (and I ended up being the godmother for the exact same person later on).
We had all these discussions about where the lunch would be held, what everyone should wear, and so on.
In front of everyone, I spoke up and said I wasn't a fan of the whole circus—the way godmothers go overboard with their outfits, parents with their crazy expectations, or even godparents taking out loans just to afford a gift. Plus, there's that weird tradition where the godparents end up footing the bill for the whole lunch.
Go ahead, take a guess.😉
I didn't get picked.😁
It stung at the time, but I ended up buying her a gold ring as a memento of the day, showed up to the church and the lunch, and felt totally fine about it.
To me, the best people are the ones who don't even bother showing up to the ceremony but still give the most generous gifts.

In my case, my goddaughter received an iPhone, which the godmother basically snagged during some discount sale—you know how it goes with those big corporate types who always have the latest tech.
I was against that too, though I have to admit today that the thing is a total beast of a machine.🙂

And honestly, what's so strange about that? They were invited, they gave a gift because they're decent people, but that doesn't mean they have to sit there and endure being hassled during the service (personally, I’ve successfully made my excuses to slip outside during the ceremony every single time—my brain just can't wrap itself around 😁 ).

Linda Price5 said:Looking back at this thread, I’ve come to realize that my parents' decision to skip my baptism—and my own subsequent choice to avoid communion, confirmation, and all that religious ritual—was easily one of the most foolish financial decisions I've ever made. 😢

Look, I actually went through with the whole baptism and communion thing back when I was in fifth grade 😁, but the old folks in my family picked such cheapskates to be my godparents that I can't even remember receiving a single gift.
I mean, I definitely would have remembered a laptop or maybe a scooter. Heck, I’d even settle for a nice watch; I’m pretty low-maintenance like that 😳

By the time I hit eighth grade, I was totally over the whole religion thing. But lately, I’ve been thinking about making a comeback. I mean, I really need a new car, or honestly, just someone to come renovate my bedroom
.
Anyway, this has gotta be my favorite thread on the entire internet.

I was already aware of how much people were pulling in from wedding gigs. 😳

These threads really belong over in the Economics section.