Giving and receiving

It seems like people are once again treating these concepts as opposites
and pushing this naive idea that if we just "give" enough, everything will magically work out.

The truth is, many people are far too eager to give things they really shouldn't:
like junk, unsolicited advice, or unwanted mentorship.

On the flip side, there’s often a massive resistance to receiving:

whether it's friendly guidance or valuable insights that challenge my own biases and misconceptions.

Giving and receiving are two sides of the same coin; you can't have one without the other.
The opposite of giving is imposing, and the opposite of receiving is grasping.

In my view, the struggle to receive is actually a much bigger issue than the act of giving,
because if the other person isn't open to it,
my attempt at "giving" becomes an imposition—an act of aggression.

Right here on this forum, I see a constant parade of generous donors (self-proclaimed prophets or "sages") who unselfishly offer their "Truths" to anyone interested (and even more so to those who aren't 😁), only to end up deeply disappointed when we ungrateful folks don't take them in.

So, I'll wrap this up with a classic sentiment.
God, please deliver me from the GIVERS,
and I'll handle the seekers myself.

swiftcobra15 said:whether it's friendly guidance or valuable insights that challenge my own biases and misconceptions.

Giving and receiving are complementary; you cannot truly have one without the other.
The true opposite of giving isn't receiving—it's imposing; and the true opposite of receiving isn't giving—it's snatching.

I would argue that the inability to receive is actually a much larger issue than the act of giving,
because if the other party isn't prepared to accept,
then my attempt at "giving" becomes an imposition—an act of aggression.

Here (on this forum), we see a massive influx of "generous donors"—self-appointed prophets or "sages"—who unselfishly peddle their "Truths" to anyone interested (and even more so to those who couldn't care less 😁), only to feel deeply slighted when we ungrateful types refuse to take them in.

So, I’ll wrap this up by paraphrasing a classic.
God, deliver me from the GIVERS,
and I shall defend myself against those who seek.

Jonathan Brooks8 said:[/B]

Harold James9 said:

Advice isn't meant to be followed; it’s just meant to be remembered. 🙂

Harold James9 said:

Jonathan Brooks8 said:

Anonymous said:You always have to make me work for it, don't you? 🙂 I'll have to go back through this, try to come up with some real-world examples... 😉

But honestly, my biggest headache used to be the neighbors. With friends, you can choose when to hang out or catch up (less is often more 🙂), but dealing with neighbors can get incredibly messy. When one person isn't interested in socializing, but the other keeps trying to force that "good neighbor" vibe on them, it becomes a total nightmare—especially since you run into each other almost every single day. It’s a struggle you didn't ask for and definitely didn't earn. 🙂

Jonathan Brooks8 said:We're all held back by this nagging sense that we have to be polite. For instance, it feels incredibly awkward to just say, "Excuse me, could you please stop? You're bothering me," when, in reality, that would be a perfectly normal way to behave.

Anonymous said:True, 🙂 but I always find myself admiring people who actually have the guts to speak up when someone's being a nuisance. I personally don't have that kind of backbone yet. It really shouldn't be this hard, though—people ought to be able to tell when they're being an inconvenience without being told.

LIQ said:We’ve got some seriously brilliant minds on this forum who aren't afraid to
share what they know.
I won't call anyone out by name, but those who are being talked about
will definitely know it's them.

Elizabeth Ruiz65 said:Most of the time, people actually do realize it, but they just don't choose to
back off, mostly because their ego won't let them allow their final impression
on someone else to be that of an annoyance.

So instead, they double down with even more intense behavior to try and prove
they're actually interesting, which usually ends up backfiring through a desperate
attempt at overcompensation, leaving them perceived as an even bigger nuisance
than they were initially. Just another pathology of human nature. =)

mistybison said:To return to the original post by swiftcobra15:



I believe we all grasp the distinction between giving and imposing, even if the line between them can feel quite blurry. For instance, consider a friend sharing a problem. Depending on countless factors—the specific situation, the friend's personality, or the nature of our relationship—our input might be seen as 'giving' or 'imposing.' It shifts based on context. I am also certain we understand what it means to receive, though that isn't always advisable either. Those who give or impose don't always offer wise counsel or accurate information. However, I am curious: what would constitute 'seizing' in a conversation between two people? 🤔 We could even look at this forum as an example. If I ask for clarification that a person hasn't provided so that I can better understand them, I am simply asking. But if I persist despite their refusal, am I then seizing? 🤔

rustymaker5 said:Quote:

swiftcobra15 says:

I honestly can't get behind that logic, because if we're being real, the true opposite of giving is actually receiving... and let's face it, it’s perfectly normal for one to exist without the other, or at least for one side to be way more dominant than the other in any given situation...

Imposing is just a violent form of giving—it's forcing something onto someone who didn't ask for it in the first place.
And taking by force? That's just a violent way of receiving, or rather, grabbing something that isn't being offered voluntarily...🙂

In any act of giving or receiving, you inherently have one person playing the role of the giver and another acting as the receiver.
You can't truly give—though you certainly can force something on someone—if there isn't anyone there to receive it.
And you can't receive—unless you're stealing or grabbing it—if nobody is giving.

Giving and receiving are inseparable elements, whether we like it or not. 😁

I simply bolded my first example of giving.
It’s fascinating how easily that gets overlooked. 🙂

"Developed" nations (meaning the wealthy ones that exploit the rest of the globe) very often—and quite ostentatiously—gift "benefits" to "developing" nations (the poor ones that have been exploited). These "gifts" include dirty industries, hazardous waste (a perfect modern example being when we were sent tons of expired medications during the war, where the cost of disposal far outweighed any actual value), advanced weaponry, including weapons of mass destruction (provided they maintain their monopoly on production *), and using "humanitarian aid" as a convenient cover for espionage and meddling in sovereign affairs
along with the cultural "perks" of the "free world," such as consumerism, greed, a predatory relationship with nature, and various other hallmarks of "junk culture."

I see the exact same dynamic in personal relationships, where we try to give or sell someone something they don't need, or something that actually causes them harm.

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* Iraqi weapons of mass destruction, North Korean nuclear weapons 😈

swiftcobra15 said: