Am I the weird one?

So, how am I supposed to actually get close to someone I'm really feeling...

Look for some common threads in the conversation.

Matthew Booth16 said:So, how am I supposed to actually get close to someone I'm really feeling...

Well, it really depends! If you're looking at a woman, you have to account for the incredibly complex social rituals humans perform just to connect. It’s quite a dance! But if you're approaching a man, things are usually a bit more straightforward—you can almost always find common ground. Of course, if he wants to spend the whole night debating last night's Yankees game instead of discussing astrophysics, then honestly, he probably isn't your type anyway! My advice? Just find someone who actually enjoys diving into the mysteries of astrophysics with you... just as an example.

Matthew Booth16 said:So, how am I supposed to actually get close to someone I'm really feeling...

Are you talking about building an intimacy that's sexual, or are we looking at this from an asexual perspective?

Come on, let's not get carried away here...
I'm just looking to make some new friends.

Matthew Booth16 said:Come on, let's not get carried away here...
I'm just looking to make some new friends.

just go ahead and join a club or something... 🙂

Look, I’m telling you right now, there isn't a single intelligent person out there who doesn't have a sense of humor. That is an absolute FACT. Seriously, if anyone thinks otherwise, 😬
go ahead and try to prove me wrong.
Honestly, if you want to see what I mean, head over to the science forums... that's where all the mathematicians hang out. I actually know a few of them personally, and man, they are total weirdos in the best way possible, with this specific kind of wit that I just absolutely love.

(By the way, here’s a classic math joke for you: So, an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are riding a train through the countryside in Montana; they look out the window at a field and spot a black sheep standing there. The engineer says, "Aha! So there are black sheep in Montana." The physicist shakes his head and says, "No, no, my dear colleague... what we've actually observed is that there is at least one black sheep in Montana." Then the mathematician looks at them both and says, "Gentlemen, please! In Montana, there exists at least one sheep that is black on at least one side."
)
If that didn't even get a little smirk out of you, then honestly, stay away from studying math. 😬

But hey, that doesn't mean you don't have a sense of humor. It just means yours works differently. Trust me on this, it’s not about how much you know or don't know, it’s about having the freedom to just be yourself. We're all funny deep down... you're definitely no exception. The only thing making you seem "serious" is probably just that nagging fear of looking like a fool. Just give it a shot, seriously—it’s incredibly liberating! And the people who laugh along with you and accept you for who you are? Those are your real friends.

Matthew Booth16 said:So, how am I supposed to actually get close to someone I'm really feeling...

Why didn't you just mention right away that there's a specific person you want to befriend?😁

Do you see this person every day or just once in a while? Are you already acquainted, or are you still looking for an opening to introduce yourself?

I mean, I don't really see anyone outside of school... though I probably could if I tried.

When people start asking why you’ve gone quiet—just tell them exactly what you just told us. Honestly, that alone would be enough to spark a whole conversation...

Rachel Martinez11 said:Just be yourself, and you'll eventually find friends who actually vibe with who you are. Try this: grab a cousin and head to an NFL game—that experience alone will probably teach you just how tedious most people can be. Once you realize how much of a drag the average crowd is, you won't feel so lonely for being different anymore. Besides, you have the internet. You aren't some lone freak in a vacuum; there are plenty of us out there. Find someone online who’s just as eccentric and quiet as you are. Maybe meet up to watch some weird indie flick and just enjoy each other's company in that strange, quiet way. Do that, and life might actually feel full.

I completely agree with this perspective!

Matthew Booth16 said:I mean, I don't really see anyone outside of school... though I probably could if I tried.

Could you, or would you actually want to?

Is anyone asking how you're doing? ... Well, they are now. This is your chance.😉 😁

For instance, take me...
How am I? Honestly, I'm in great spirits today. My loan just got approved, so I'm heading out to look at some appliances. And since I'm getting a new stove, I get a whole new kitchen, xexex😬. It brings me one step closer to moving into the new place... and I have to admit, I'm pretty excited about it!🙂

Now, what about you? How are things?
(Don't overthink it—just say whatever comes to mind first. And please, try to give me a little more than just "I'm fine.")

Matthew Booth16 said:I’ve got a bit of a situation here.

I’m heading into my sophomore year of high school. My grades are pretty much straight A's because I spend most of my time hitting the books. In class, I don't really talk—I just sit there and soak everything up, which probably makes me look a little weird to everyone else. People tell me I’m super smart, but I’m definitely not the social type. I don't say much, and when I do, I keep it short and sweet. Sometimes I feel like people just tune me out when I'm around. Honestly, I don't have any real friends yet—you know, people I actually hang out with who aren't family. I don't really go out because I don't have a crew to go with, and I'm not into drinking 🙂 either. I don't even listen to music. I'm constantly trying to level up and be the best version of myself—basically aiming for perfection—but lately, I feel like I'm just becoming this monotone, boring person. Outside of school, I almost never hang out with people my age. It makes me feel like I'm unapproachable... and honestly, just lonely. I really want to talk more... but what am I supposed to talk about? How do you even start a conversation? How do I find a real friend or actually connect with someone?
Everyone calls me a weirdo. To be honest, it doesn't bother me that they call me that, it bothers me because it feels true. Everyone wonders why I'm so quiet... but what is there to say? I stay silent because I feel like I have nothing to contribute. How do you learn to be funny? Is being witty something you're born with, or can you actually practice it? And how do you become someone people actually want to be around?
What should I do? Where do I even start? I just want to change everything right now...

Help me out!

It sounds like you have a really harsh view of yourself, but I think you're wrong about a few things. Plus, you've got one major issue—you're smart. I'm not even kidding; being both highly intelligent and sensitive isn't easy, and from what you wrote, that's exactly what you are. Maybe try to relax a little and just open yourself up to new experiences. Just take it slow. If you don't feel like talking, then just stay quiet and listen to others. When you finally feel like saying something, just say it. Don't overthink whether it'll sound stupid or smart. Honestly, maybe they're just too dim to get your sense of humor anyway. Try not to worry about what everyone else thinks. Don't give people too much power over you; at the end of the day, everyone is just human, full of flaws and good qualities alike. Just be yourself, love unknown, and ask yourself what YOU actually want. Keep your head up. There were plenty of people like us who went on to build deep friendships and find great loves as we grew up. Do you have anyone you can talk to about all this? Maybe your parents? But even then, don't expect them to be perfect; they might not fully understand because of their own life experiences. They're just people too...

I feel like I’m leveling up every single day, getting stronger and bettering myself, but... if I actually sat down to journal, I wouldn't have anything even remotely interesting to say, almost like my life is just empty... where's the happiness hiding?

Matthew Booth16 said:I’ve got a bit of a situation here.

I’m heading into my sophomore year of high school. My grades are pretty much straight A's because I spend most of my time hitting the books. In class, I don't really talk—I just sit there and soak everything up, which probably makes me look a little weird to everyone else. People tell me I’m super smart, but I’m definitely not the social type. I don't say much, and when I do, I keep it short and sweet. Sometimes I feel like people just tune me out when I'm around. Honestly, I don't have any real friends yet—you know, people I actually hang out with who aren't family. I don't really go out because I don't have a crew to go with, and I'm not into drinking 🙂 either. I don't even listen to music. I'm constantly trying to level up and be the best version of myself—basically aiming for perfection—but lately, I feel like I'm just becoming this monotone, boring person. Outside of school, I almost never hang out with people my age. It makes me feel like I'm unapproachable... and honestly, just lonely. I really want to talk more... but what am I supposed to talk about? How do you even start a conversation? How do I find a real friend or actually connect with someone?
Everyone calls me a weirdo. To be honest, it doesn't bother me that they call me that, it bothers me because it feels true. Everyone wonders why I'm so quiet... but what is there to say? I stay silent because I feel like I have nothing to contribute. How do you learn to be funny? Is being witty something you're born with, or can you actually practice it? And how do you become someone people actually want to be around?
What should I do? Where do I even start? I just want to change everything right now...

Help me out!

Man, don't sweat it. You honestly don't realize how lucky you are. Being avoided by certain crowds is actually fine. Look—you can always make new friends later, but it is significantly, significantly harder to undo a bad reputation once you've made enemies. Just remember that. 😘

William Vaughn14 said:Man, don't sweat it. You honestly don't realize how lucky you are. Being avoided by certain crowds is actually fine. Look—you can always make new friends later, but it is significantly, significantly harder to undo a bad reputation once you've made enemies. Just remember that. 😘

People are avoiding me and I'm supposed to be lucky? How, and why exactly?...

Matthew Booth16 said:People are avoiding me and I'm supposed to be lucky? How, and why exactly?...

Well...
as I mentioned earlier, making friends is actually the easy part. You aren't friends today, then suddenly you are tomorrow—maybe through sheer luck, some unexpected initiative, a shared goal, being coworkers, sitting at the same desk in a lecture hall, or even fighting over the same girl. I could go on forever; you get my drift. 🙂
The real challenge, much more difficult than building a connection, is actually breaking one. Peace out.🙂

I’m not sure if you realize that music is basically a person's best friend. When you're hanging out by yourself and you put some tracks on, you just don't feel that same crushing sense of loneliness you get when it's dead silent—personally, I much prefer 🙂. Now, look, music isn't going to replace a real person, obviously, but it does bring people together—you've probably noticed that yourself. For people your age, music is everything; they find themselves in it, go absolutely wild for it, obsess over their idols—honestly, it looks pretty ridiculous sometimes 😁
. Music is such a powerful little thing, too. It messes with your mood, changes how you act, relaxes you, gets you hyped... it actually affects how you live your life.
I don't know, but I'm certain there's a genre out there that actually clicks with you. It's not just whatever garbage is playing on the radio. And I'm not telling you to start listening to stuff just because it makes you look "cool" or helps you fit in with a crowd. Do it for yourself. Things move, life is a process, and I honestly think you're missing a vital piece of the puzzle here...

For my part, there are days when I can't stand it and just want to turn it all off—sometimes even good music gets old—but those phases don't last long because the silence just ends up making me > even more. Just speaking from experience.
Anyway, you're still young. I'm betting you'll change your mind as time goes on, and this whole issue will sort itself out. You've got plenty of life left to figure things out 🙂

BTW, I read something kind of comforting recently—that you shouldn't actually force yourself to change. You just have to become aware of things, and then the change happens automatically. 🙄

I had a buddy just like that, honestly, a carbon copy. He was always walking on eggshells trying to please his mom, so I gotta ask... is that how it works with you too? 🙂

He’s 23 now, but he’s still pretty much terrified of her... and even though they live out in 311 miles, he's still having such a hard time actually moving forward with his life.....

Matthew Booth16 said:I feel like I’m leveling up every single day, getting stronger and bettering myself, but... if I actually sat down to journal, I wouldn't have anything even remotely interesting to say, almost like my life is just empty... where's the happiness hiding?

Maybe don't try so hard to be "better" or "stronger" at any cost. I mean, it’s okay to be weak sometimes. It's actually fine to not be great at everything. You're just a human being, after all. You're allowed to be selfish, or jealous, or just plain weak. You should love yourself for who you are, but I guess you have to actually get to know yourself first. A lot of people way older than you haven't even figured out who they are yet, and honestly, getting to know yourself takes time and real work, so there's no need to rush. As for where happiness is... maybe it's in your connections with people. Relationships—whether it's friendship, love, or sex—they make you feel fulfilled. They bring happiness, sure, but they also bring sadness and pain. I think you can't truly experience happiness if you don't go through the pain too. So, just relax. If you aren't feeling happy right this second, maybe there's a reason for that. It might help you recognize what real happiness actually feels like later on, but you have to stay open. You have to let people in, even if it means you might get hurt. And, uh, don't rush into sex either. 🙂 One more thing. You're basically an adolescent, so it's totally normal to feel lonely, sad, or just empty for no reason. I mean, do you even realize how much is going on chemically inside your body right now? Just give yourself some time. Take it slow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!