Am I the weird one?

Anthony Sanders53 said:Maybe don't try so hard to be "better" or "stronger" at any cost. I mean, it’s okay to be weak sometimes. It's actually fine to not be great at everything. You're just a human being, after all. You're allowed to be selfish, or jealous, or just plain weak. You should love yourself for who you are, but I guess you have to actually get to know yourself first. A lot of people way older than you haven't even figured out who they are yet, and honestly, getting to know yourself takes time and real work, so there's no need to rush. As for where happiness is... maybe it's in your connections with people. Relationships—whether it's friendship, love, or sex—they make you feel fulfilled. They bring happiness, sure, but they also bring sadness and pain. I think you can't truly experience happiness if you don't go through the pain too. So, just relax. If you aren't feeling happy right this second, maybe there's a reason for that. It might help you recognize what real happiness actually feels like later on, but you have to stay open. You have to let people in, even if it means you might get hurt. And, uh, don't rush into sex either. 🙂 One more thing. You're basically an adolescent, so it's totally normal to feel lonely, sad, or just empty for no reason. I mean, do you even realize how much is going on chemically inside your body right now? Just give yourself some time. Take it slow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Man, if only someone had sat me down and told me all this back when I was just a scrawny kid... I was raised with the exact opposite mindset, you know? I had to figure out the real truth all on my own through trial and error.

Well, math doesn't lie. You might just have to accept that you're destined to be a bit of an oddball. 😘
But hey, sooner or later, you’ll find your people.
You really should work on those social skills, though. If you look around online, you'll find plenty of advice on things like "how to overcome shyness." Honestly, I think that's exactly what you need right now.

I wrote this a while back. I’m the exact same way, though it works fine as long as everything stays within reasonable limits. For me, ever since I finished school, I haven't done a damn thing productive and my life just went completely off the rails. It’s easy to keep friends, though—just maintain some sense of normalcy...

Look... I totally get where you're coming from because I used to be exactly the same way. Even back then, I always had that one best friend to cling to, so it wasn't a total disaster, but it was definitely hard to deal with. Eventually, it just hit me that I couldn't keep living like that—there are plenty of people out there who actually "deserve" my company. I had to get real with myself and humble myself a bit, and now? Honestly, I’m one of the more popular girls in my class... I have a huge circle of friends, and I genuinely can't imagine life without them. And you're the same way. Just relax a little and look around you. There has to be at least one person who shares your interests. Try starting a conversation about something you actually care about, and for heaven's sake, listen closely when someone else is talking to you. You don't need to be some stand-up comedian, either; you just need to know how to take a joke, even if it's at your own expense. Mostly, you just need to loosen up when you're hanging out with others. School isn't the only thing that matters in this world—having a social life is way more important. ;-)

Avoidant personality disorder - AvPD - you're just like Nikola Tesla or Robert De Niro in "Taxi Driver"...!!!!

Matthew Booth16 said:I’ve got a bit of a situation here.

I’m heading into my sophomore year of high school. My grades are pretty much straight A's because I spend most of my time hitting the books. In class, I don't really talk—I just sit there and soak everything up, which probably makes me look a little weird to everyone else. People tell me I’m super smart, but I’m definitely not the social type. I don't say much, and when I do, I keep it short and sweet. Sometimes I feel like people just tune me out when I'm around. Honestly, I don't have any real friends yet—you know, people I actually hang out with who aren't family. I don't really go out because I don't have a crew to go with, and I'm not into drinking 🙂 either. I don't even listen to music. I'm constantly trying to level up and be the best version of myself—basically aiming for perfection—but lately, I feel like I'm just becoming this monotone, boring person. Outside of school, I almost never hang out with people my age. It makes me feel like I'm unapproachable... and honestly, just lonely. I really want to talk more... but what am I supposed to talk about? How do you even start a conversation? How do I find a real friend or actually connect with someone?
Everyone calls me a weirdo. To be honest, it doesn't bother me that they call me that, it bothers me because it feels true. Everyone wonders why I'm so quiet... but what is there to say? I stay silent because I feel like I have nothing to contribute. How do you learn to be funny? Is being witty something you're born with, or can you actually practice it? And how do you become someone people actually want to be around?
What should I do? Where do I even start? I just want to change everything right now...

Help me out!

I had, how should I put this, basically the exact same problem, except back then I was driven by the music I was creating and listening to. Just accept yourself for who you are. Changes are fine, but if you obsess over them, then they aren't really okay. Find something you're good at and you'll meet plenty of people who share those interests. There you go.
And regarding being witty, don't stress yourself out over that yet; being funny doesn't necessarily mean someone is a good person..

I once knew someone quite similar to you...
It started when a close friend and I decided to collectively drag him out of his shell.
We basically forced him into social situations, pushing him to mingle whenever we could...
By the end of it, he had actually become one of my best friends.
Eventually, though, we had our falling out... which, looking back, was entirely understandable...
He used to spend so much time lamenting how he never had a girlfriend or any real friends to lean on...
Now, from everything I hear, he’s out every single day surrounded by a huge circle of friends; he found a partner, found a career, and essentially found everything he used to envy in everyone else.
Everyone I’ve spoken to has confirmed just how much he transformed in the span of a single year.
He's become this incredibly outgoing, social person.
As for me... well, I’ve hit rock bottom, and it feels like I’m drifting right back toward the same isolated place you're in now.

Sometimes you just need that one person to give you the push you need. The trouble is, those people are rare finds...
But they do show up... eventually... When you finally see an opportunity, whatever you do, don't let it slip away.

There’s this idea floating around that Nikola Tesla and Albert Einstein might have had Asperger's. It’s essentially a specific type of autism, I believe. Maybe you could do a little digging online regarding Asperger's syndrome and let me know what your take on it is.

jadeseal81 said:Yeah, maybe I am a weirdo... but honestly, who cares? I’ve got friends who actually roll with my crazy ideas and bullshit, and even though I head out and grab a drink now and then, I’m not exactly the life of the party. I mostly just live in my own little world, but hey, it doesn't bother me one bit.

You don't need to be some stand-up comedian just to fit in; you just have to be yourself.

Honestly, this hits the nail right on the head! It’s such a huge truth to live by. Don't ever feel like you have to hide who you really are—just embrace it! I truly believe that if you stay authentic, you'll eventually find your tribe and connect with people who actually appreciate you for you.

mistypanther32 said:Honestly, this hits the nail right on the head! It’s such a huge truth to live by. Don't ever feel like you have to hide who you really are—just embrace it! I truly believe that if you stay authentic, you'll eventually find your tribe and connect with people who actually appreciate you for you.

It’s true, truly... I didn't really buy into this until I actually lived it. Once you finally accept yourself—once you stop performing and pretending to be someone else—you don't have to constantly overthink what to say, how to act, or even who to hang out with. The mental exhaustion just vanishes. You aren't calculating anymore; you're just existing. Whether people accept you depends entirely on who you actually are. Some will love you for it, others won't, and that's fine. But once you sort things out internally, you start to radiate something genuine from within. It's like you're finally letting yourself loose in the world. You can't experience that freedom if you're busy wearing a mask. It doesn't mean everyone is going to embrace you immediately, but someone will. And honestly? Trying to please everyone is impossible because not everyone wants the real you. But finding those few people who do? That's the only thing that actually matters.

I haven't had the chance to read through everything yet—this thread is getting a bit ancient—but I have to say, feralmoose12 and Joseph Bailey41 🙏 🙏

What even is this? You aren't "broken" just because you don't care about the same things everyone else does. Honestly, I’d much rather be on my own than hang out with a crowd that doesn't get me at all.

Hey, don't even sweat it! That’s just how some people are, end of story. Honestly, you could try reaching out to someone you actually like—just gotta find a little nerve, you know? You don't even need a "reason" to talk; just pick a topic and go for it. Once you actually bond with someone, you'll start feeling better about yourself and seeing things from a different perspective. Plus, you never really know who might end up liking you more than you think. 😉 If you're just not a big communicator, then people around you should just get that and deal with it. And if they don't? Whatever. Their opinion doesn't mean a thing. I was the exact same way back in middle school (well, except I used to totally ignore my own needs if I actually had any brains, haha), and honestly, I'm still kind of like that in college. But I finally found some folks who are on my wavelength, and I've started opening up and getting into all sorts of stuff... It was rough at first, but oh man, I'm so glad I did. As soon as you find even one friend who gets you, that sense of belonging hits you hard. If you haven't found them yet, don't worry—it WILL happen, you just won't know when. Also, just show people you care. It matters so much, and you have no idea how much happiness you can spread just by being there (I'm sure you've figured that out by now, just like everyone else). Good luck! Everything is gonna turn out fine. :kiss

Matthew Booth16 said:I’ve got a bit of a situation here.

I’m heading into my sophomore year of high school. My grades are pretty much straight A's because I spend most of my time hitting the books. In class, I don't really talk—I just sit there and soak everything up, which probably makes me look a little weird to everyone else. People tell me I’m super smart, but I’m definitely not the social type. I don't say much, and when I do, I keep it short and sweet. Sometimes I feel like people just tune me out when I'm around. Honestly, I don't have any real friends yet—you know, people I actually hang out with who aren't family. I don't really go out because I don't have a crew to go with, and I'm not into drinking 🙂 either. I don't even listen to music. I'm constantly trying to level up and be the best version of myself—basically aiming for perfection—but lately, I feel like I'm just becoming this monotone, boring person. Outside of school, I almost never hang out with people my age. It makes me feel like I'm unapproachable... and honestly, just lonely. I really want to talk more... but what am I supposed to talk about? How do you even start a conversation? How do I find a real friend or actually connect with someone?
Everyone calls me a weirdo. To be honest, it doesn't bother me that they call me that, it bothers me because it feels true. Everyone wonders why I'm so quiet... but what is there to say? I stay silent because I feel like I have nothing to contribute. How do you learn to be funny? Is being witty something you're born with, or can you actually practice it? And how do you become someone people actually want to be around?
What should I do? Where do I even start? I just want to change everything right now...

Help me out!

Everyone is a weirdo in their own way. You're being a little self-centered here, and you aren't alone. Eventually, you'll find someone similar to yourself. Honestly, I don't think there's any chance you can truly change—and if you did, you wouldn't be "you" anymore. Just stay who you are. Someone will accept you exactly as you are.👍

If I’m reading you correctly, you’re sixteen and still navigating high school. You actually find fulfillment in your studies and staying productive—that’s a rare quality. Don't let go of that drive. But have you considered picking up a hobby? Maybe you enjoy running, spending time outdoors, or getting involved in sports? How are you spending your time when you aren't buried in textbooks?
I was once exactly where you are: a socially awkward loner.
My advice is actually quite straightforward. Stop actively hunting for friends or trying to force your way into a social circle. Instead, find a genuine interest or a hobby, and you’ll naturally stumble upon people who share those same passions. That’s how real connections happen.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying your own company, but don't let solitude become your permanent identity. I noticed you quoting the Bible. Are you attending church services? Are you active in your local congregation? And how much weight do you give to basic etiquette and manners?
A simple smile, a polite "good morning," or a bit of small talk—it might seem trivial or even pointless to you right now, but those tiny interactions are the fundamental difference between being an outcast and being perceived as a "normal" member of society. Approach people who actually pique your curiosity, show a sincere interest in what they care about, and the conversation will follow.
So, my final takeaway is simple: stay persistent in pursuing your goals and don't waste your energy on nonsense.

Matthew Booth16 said:I’ve got a bit of a situation here.

I’m heading into my sophomore year of high school. My grades are pretty much straight A's because I spend most of my time hitting the books. In class, I don't really talk—I just sit there and soak everything up, which probably makes me look a little weird to everyone else. People tell me I’m super smart, but I’m definitely not the social type. I don't say much, and when I do, I keep it short and sweet. Sometimes I feel like people just tune me out when I'm around. Honestly, I don't have any real friends yet—you know, people I actually hang out with who aren't family. I don't really go out because I don't have a crew to go with, and I'm not into drinking 🙂 either. I don't even listen to music. I'm constantly trying to level up and be the best version of myself—basically aiming for perfection—but lately, I feel like I'm just becoming this monotone, boring person. Outside of school, I almost never hang out with people my age. It makes me feel like I'm unapproachable... and honestly, just lonely. I really want to talk more... but what am I supposed to talk about? How do you even start a conversation? How do I find a real friend or actually connect with someone?
Everyone calls me a weirdo. To be honest, it doesn't bother me that they call me that, it bothers me because it feels true. Everyone wonders why I'm so quiet... but what is there to say? I stay silent because I feel like I have nothing to contribute. How do you learn to be funny? Is being witty something you're born with, or can you actually practice it? And how do you become someone people actually want to be around?
What should I do? Where do I even start? I just want to change everything right now...

Help me out!

Why don't you listen to music?

Karen Morgan6 said:If I’m reading you correctly, you’re sixteen and still navigating high school. You actually find fulfillment in your studies and staying productive—that’s a rare quality. Don't let go of that drive. But have you considered picking up a hobby? Maybe you enjoy running, spending time outdoors, or getting involved in sports? How are you spending your time when you aren't buried in textbooks?
I was once exactly where you are: a socially awkward loner.
My advice is actually quite straightforward. Stop actively hunting for friends or trying to force your way into a social circle. Instead, find a genuine interest or a hobby, and you’ll naturally stumble upon people who share those same passions. That’s how real connections happen.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying your own company, but don't let solitude become your permanent identity. I noticed you quoting the Bible. Are you attending church services? Are you active in your local congregation? And how much weight do you give to basic etiquette and manners?
A simple smile, a polite "good morning," or a bit of small talk—it might seem trivial or even pointless to you right now, but those tiny interactions are the fundamental difference between being an outcast and being perceived as a "normal" member of society. Approach people who actually pique your curiosity, show a sincere interest in what they care about, and the conversation will follow.
So, my final takeaway is simple: stay persistent in pursuing your goals and don't waste your energy on nonsense.

Sam Wright21 said:Why don't you listen to music?

Are you seriously responding to a thread from 2007? For real?