Kid called 911. Help!

I’m not entirely sure if this is the right sub for this specific issue, but it felt like the closest match to what I’m going through right now.

So, here’s the situation... I’ve been divorced for a few years now. I have two kids. After the split, I moved us to a different city, and the kids started at a new school there.

My oldest has adjusted beautifully and seems really happy. My youngest, however, is struggling.
I’m guessing they’re acting out because of general frustration, but lately, things have taken a turn for the worse. Here is the most recent thing that happened:

I opened my monthly phone bill and nearly had a heart attack. Looking at the statement from $0.67, I saw a massive charge for $0.53 calls to premium-rate numbers—basically those adult entertainment hotlines.

Since I didn't make those calls, and my oldest didn't either, that left my youngest (who is only 10) as the only option.
I sat them down for a serious talk, and they actually confessed!!!
In total shock, I tried to tactfully figure out what kind of conversations they were even having, but...
It was like talking to a brick wall!!!
Of course, the first thing I did was call the service provider to block all those numbers immediately!!!

I have been absolutely eating myself alive over this; it’s actually caused me some physical health issues from the stress!!!

I finally reached the point where I went to my doctor to get a referral for a therapist because I am completely at a loss. Does anyone have any experience with this or any advice to offer???
Please, I’m asking for serious responses only because I am really hurting right now!!
Thank you!!!

Why is this such a shock to you?

Childish. Petty. 🙂

Anonymous said:I’m not entirely sure if this is the right sub for this specific issue, but it felt like the closest match to what I’m going through right now.

So, here’s the situation... I’ve been divorced for a few years now. I have two kids. After the split, I moved us to a different city, and the kids started at a new school there.

My oldest has adjusted beautifully and seems really happy. My youngest, however, is struggling.
I’m guessing they’re acting out because of general frustration, but lately, things have taken a turn for the worse. Here is the most recent thing that happened:

I opened my monthly phone bill and nearly had a heart attack. Looking at the statement from $0.67, I saw a massive charge for $0.53 calls to premium-rate numbers—basically those adult entertainment hotlines.

Since I didn't make those calls, and my oldest didn't either, that left my youngest (who is only 10) as the only option.
I sat them down for a serious talk, and they actually confessed!!!
In total shock, I tried to tactfully figure out what kind of conversations they were even having, but...
It was like talking to a brick wall!!!
Of course, the first thing I did was call the service provider to block all those numbers immediately!!!

I have been absolutely eating myself alive over this; it’s actually caused me some physical health issues from the stress!!!

I finally reached the point where I went to my doctor to get a referral for a therapist because I am completely at a loss. Does anyone have any experience with this or any advice to offer???
Please, I’m asking for serious responses only because I am really hurting right now!!
Thank you!!!

Your hysterics are doing more damage to your kid than some minor panting on the phone ever could.
Like Ashley Vaughn79 mentioned, it’s just basic childhood curiosity.
Your child is heading into puberty; you’re going to see plenty more examples of this kind of curiosity.
Remember, these behaviors are totally normal. By reacting with hysteria, health scares, psychologists, and accusations, you're sending the exact opposite message—that they are doing something deeply, terribly wrong. That message, I repeat, is what actually hurts them.

There is really no need to descend into hysteria or start panicking. It seems to me that your child isn't opening up because they likely felt your initial reaction was a bit too intense, causing them to shut down entirely. You should try to sit them down and gently explain that they haven't actually done anything wrong. It might help to walk them through the concept of adult phone services—explaining that some people engage in those types of calls simply as a way to earn money by talking to others, using language that fits their level of understanding.

Anonymous said:I’m not entirely sure if this is the right sub for this specific issue, but it felt like the closest match to what I’m going through right now.

So, here’s the situation... I’ve been divorced for a few years now. I have two kids. After the split, I moved us to a different city, and the kids started at a new school there.

My oldest has adjusted beautifully and seems really happy. My youngest, however, is struggling.
I’m guessing they’re acting out because of general frustration, but lately, things have taken a turn for the worse. Here is the most recent thing that happened:

I opened my monthly phone bill and nearly had a heart attack. Looking at the statement from $0.67, I saw a massive charge for $0.53 calls to premium-rate numbers—basically those adult entertainment hotlines.

Since I didn't make those calls, and my oldest didn't either, that left my youngest (who is only 10) as the only option.
I sat them down for a serious talk, and they actually confessed!!!
In total shock, I tried to tactfully figure out what kind of conversations they were even having, but...
It was like talking to a brick wall!!!
Of course, the first thing I did was call the service provider to block all those numbers immediately!!!

I have been absolutely eating myself alive over this; it’s actually caused me some physical health issues from the stress!!!

I finally reached the point where I went to my doctor to get a referral for a therapist because I am completely at a loss. Does anyone have any experience with this or any advice to offer???
Please, I’m asking for serious responses only because I am really hurting right now!!
Thank you!!!

Anyone sleeping with kids in the bed—you’re going to wake up with wet sheets.

brighteagle39 said:There is really no need to descend into hysteria or start panicking. It seems to me that your child isn't opening up because they likely felt your initial reaction was a bit too intense, causing them to shut down entirely. You should try to sit them down and gently explain that they haven't actually done anything wrong. It might help to walk them through the concept of adult phone services—explaining that some people engage in those types of calls simply as a way to earn money by talking to others, using language that fits their level of understanding.

I agree—it’s vital to try and create an environment of total openness before you even start talking. If it's a boy—which I assume is the case 😁—perhaps having a father figure handle the chat might help, whether that's a dad, an uncle, or an older brother. You have to approach this without any hesitation or judgment; otherwise, the child picks up on that tension and starts building walls. It helps to be direct: tell them these things are expensive and that they shouldn't be calling. If they're curious about the industry, suggest they ask questions now so they can understand what kind of career paths might be available once they've grown up—they just need to practice a little patience for now.

They gave you good advice. Sending a message like that to a child when you're panicking just isn't helpful...
My cousin went through the exact same thing at that age.
It was just a phase. Pure curiosity. And it passed.
She turned out perfectly fine.
Just to ease your mind, she grew up to be a wonderful young woman. She's healthy in every sense of the word 😉 So, there it is. Just talk to her kindly. Like someone once said, explain how people make money from those things. But also have a real conversation about what’s sparking her interest. Take it slow and stay calm. Kids are incredibly sensitive—especially when it comes to sexuality. If you don't want to cause harm, your approach matters. Don't make her feel guilty.
If it helps, and you're feeling lost on what to say or how to handle it, maybe see a therapist.
Let them help you find some peace😉

Anonymous said:I’m not entirely sure if this is the right sub for this specific issue, but it felt like the closest match to what I’m going through right now.

So, here’s the situation... I’ve been divorced for a few years now. I have two kids. After the split, I moved us to a different city, and the kids started at a new school there.

My oldest has adjusted beautifully and seems really happy. My youngest, however, is struggling.
I’m guessing they’re acting out because of general frustration, but lately, things have taken a turn for the worse. Here is the most recent thing that happened:

I opened my monthly phone bill and nearly had a heart attack. Looking at the statement from $0.67, I saw a massive charge for $0.53 calls to premium-rate numbers—basically those adult entertainment hotlines.

Since I didn't make those calls, and my oldest didn't either, that left my youngest (who is only 10) as the only option.
I sat them down for a serious talk, and they actually confessed!!!
In total shock, I tried to tactfully figure out what kind of conversations they were even having, but...
It was like talking to a brick wall!!!
Of course, the first thing I did was call the service provider to block all those numbers immediately!!!

I have been absolutely eating myself alive over this; it’s actually caused me some physical health issues from the stress!!!

I finally reached the point where I went to my doctor to get a referral for a therapist because I am completely at a loss. Does anyone have any experience with this or any advice to offer???
Please, I’m asking for serious responses only because I am really hurting right now!!
Thank you!!!

But honestly, losing your cool isn't going to solve anything.
I actually saw something similar happen with a kid in my neighborhood recently. He was about 11 or 12, living with his mom who works crazy shift hours—they're separated.
The kid basically views his life with this self-sacrificing mother as some kind of punishment. I suspect she probably tells him stuff like, "Look how much I give up just for you," which doesn't help! As a way to push back against her and deal with the fact that he can't change the situation, he started acting out whenever she wasn't looking. At first, the neighbors noticed things were getting weird because all the lights in their house would be blazing all night, even though they knew she was working an overnight shift. Then, there was a month where their phone bill shot through the roof, but now the thing is unplugged and locked away in a cabinet.
Since you can't exactly turn off the electricity, the little guy started turning on every single light, every burner on the stove, the TV, everything—just to run up the utility bill.
It's his way of fighting back against a mother who loves him in her own way, but he doesn't realize that
it won't change the reality of his life.

Real conversation and a ton of patience are the only ways through this. Hysteria just makes everything worse.

When a parent finally finds the strength to become a true FRIEND to their child, they unlock every single door to that child's heart and mind

briskbison27 said:When a parent finally finds the strength to become a true FRIEND to their child, they unlock every single door to that child's heart and mind

I have to disagree! A parent needs to be a parent first and a friend second. If you try to be just a buddy, you aren't actually raising them anymore—you're just hanging out.

I never even suggested that being a parent shouldn't come before being a friend—that’s just common sense, isn't it? But I will say, based on everything I've seen, that you can only build a truly meaningful, high-quality connection once the PARENT TRANSITIONS INTO A FRIEND. Dealing with the endless stream of rigid, authoritarian parents compared to those who take the opposite approach gives me all the proof I need to see which style actually works! My advice? Be a parent and a guide, sure, but for heaven's sake, don't forget to be a friend to your child. What is the actual point or beauty of parenthood if you aren't actually bonding with them? If your only goal is to act as an instructor, then you're just working a job, nothing more.

briskbison27 said:I never even suggested that being a parent shouldn't come before being a friend—that’s just common sense, isn't it? But I will say, based on everything I've seen, that you can only build a truly meaningful, high-quality connection once the PARENT TRANSITIONS INTO A FRIEND. Dealing with the endless stream of rigid, authoritarian parents compared to those who take the opposite approach gives me all the proof I need to see which style actually works! My advice? Be a parent and a guide, sure, but for heaven's sake, don't forget to be a friend to your child. What is the actual point or beauty of parenthood if you aren't actually bonding with them? If your only goal is to act as an instructor, then you're just working a job, nothing more.

You have a point, but let's be real: for most parents, trying to juggle both roles at the exact same moment is almost impossible. Some folks are barely keeping food on the table, let alone finding the headspace for deep talks or guidance. When communication breaks down because of that generational gap, everything else falls apart. You lose the parenting and the friendship all at once.
Guiding a child is a non-stop, demanding process—not just for the kids, but for the adults too! Plus, a parent can't really teach anything if they haven't done their own growing or embraced solid values themselves. That's why I feel strongly that a parent needs to lead with authority and a clear sense of direction first. In my view, leaning too hard into being "just a friend" often ends up undermining that necessary authority.
You can't have effective guidance without a little bit of authority, but it has to happen within a positive environment—one that respects the child's unique personality while helping them grow into a self-sufficient adult.

In a sense, we’re both right, though if I’m being perfectly honest—and I say that without any false modesty—I consider myself a parent-first mentor who has achieved remarkable success, and I make it my mission to pass that wisdom on to those who need it. It really boils down to having a little bit of goodwill and selflessness, rather than a genuine shortage of time or money... though I certainly respect the fact that we can't all be cut from the same cloth.

I actually called 911 once just because I was curious.
And yeah, I'm a woman.
The next time, I just punched in some random digits from my head and ended up getting someone way over in Spain. 😁

Honestly, I think this woman was just throwing a fit over that $667 bill, not because her kid was calling erotic hotlines. 😕
I mean, I’d probably pass out if I ever saw a bill for $667... 😲

David Miller5 said:Honestly, I think this woman was just throwing a fit over that $667 bill, not because her kid was calling erotic hotlines. 😕
I mean, I’d probably pass out if I ever saw a bill for $667... 😲

Which is exactly why she dumped the topic in the psychology section.🙄

Don't sweat it, lady. If there weren't any kids around, those sexy phone lines would go out of business anyway.😉

Karen Garcia5 said:I called it a little bit 😬 when I was a kid, maybe a few years older than this case. I turned out just fine... 😬 Or at least, that's what my mom tells me. 😢

Good grief, Karen Garcia5, you’re acting like you're a hundred years old. What on earth was happening back in your day?

David Miller5 said:Honestly, I think this woman was just throwing a fit over that $667 bill, not because her kid was calling erotic hotlines. 😕
I mean, I’d probably pass out if I ever saw a bill for $667... 😲

I'm with you on this one!!!!!👍

Anonymous said:I’m not entirely sure if this is the right sub for this specific issue, but it felt like the closest match to what I’m going through right now.

So, here’s the situation... I’ve been divorced for a few years now. I have two kids. After the split, I moved us to a different city, and the kids started at a new school there.

My oldest has adjusted beautifully and seems really happy. My youngest, however, is struggling.
I’m guessing they’re acting out because of general frustration, but lately, things have taken a turn for the worse. Here is the most recent thing that happened:

I opened my monthly phone bill and nearly had a heart attack. Looking at the statement from $0.67, I saw a massive charge for $0.53 calls to premium-rate numbers—basically those adult entertainment hotlines.

Since I didn't make those calls, and my oldest didn't either, that left my youngest (who is only 10) as the only option.
I sat them down for a serious talk, and they actually confessed!!!
In total shock, I tried to tactfully figure out what kind of conversations they were even having, but...
It was like talking to a brick wall!!!
Of course, the first thing I did was call the service provider to block all those numbers immediately!!!

I have been absolutely eating myself alive over this; it’s actually caused me some physical health issues from the stress!!!

I finally reached the point where I went to my doctor to get a referral for a therapist because I am completely at a loss. Does anyone have any experience with this or any advice to offer???
Please, I’m asking for serious responses only because I am really hurting right now!!
Thank you!!!

That’s awful. And I thought my mom was a total disaster. I feel for your kids having to deal with a mother like this.

Get your act together for their sake! Buy a self-help book or try yoga, meditation, Reiki, or whatever—just do something so the kids don't have to suffer because of your mental state.