Schizophrenia - General Discussion

Angela Stewart6 said:Chloe Flores83, honestly, even that counts as progress! It’s important to remember that you don't just beat cancer with a single round of chemo—it's a long road.🍿

Writing is just easier. You actually get a second to think before you speak. When I try to say things out loud, there are days when I can barely string a sentence together, let alone make a coherent point or comment. Lately, those days are happening more and more often. Honestly? I usually just choose to stay quiet instead. I can't tell if it's the Dormicum or if my schizophrenia is just messing with my synapses.

Visionary, I completely hear where you’re coming from—I really do! Back when I was totally broke and couldn't afford a single thing, my doctor would just suggest, "Well, why don't you just go grab a coffee in the park or something?" It was one of those suggestions that didn't quite hit the mark, you know? Now, things are looking up a little bit—not exactly "rolling in it" status, mind you, but I'm definitely not struggling to afford a simple cup of coffee anymore. The funny thing is, even though I have more breathing room now, I don't actually feel like going out for coffee all that much. I have the desire, truly I do, but when it comes down to actually making it happen, I just... stall. It’s like socializing itself is physically draining. Even being on this forum, unfortunately, feels like a bit of an effort sometimes. I can't quite put my finger on why it is this way—it isn't laziness, believe me—but it’s as if the whole concept of interacting just exhausts me. I can fully empathize with what it's like to be struggling financially, and please, trust me, being poor is absolutely not a sin. I don't understand why some people make such a big deal out of it, though I do notice that people can find it exhausting when someone is going through a hard time—so, on one hand, I really don't want to feel like a burden to anyone in that sense. Honestly, maybe I'm better off this way, even if my doctor keeps nudging me to get out and socialize more. Personally? I don't see the problem at all. 🤷

Chloe Flores83, you are absolutely spot on. I honestly can't wrap my head around why it’s like this sometimes—it's just one of those things! Just the other day, I almost told my mom, "Look, there goes a jet instead of a semi-truck" 🤔. It really takes me a moment to process things, and I’ve realized that I definitely struggle when communication needs to be lightning-fast. It’s just not my speed, and since being social really demands that quick wit, I often find it much more comfortable to just stay quiet. Honestly, staying silent isn't necessarily easier, but it certainly feels more pleasant! Of course, other people—and by that, I mean doctors and professionals ☕
—tend to think I’m somehow lacking in that area.

Angela Stewart6 said:Visionary, I completely hear where you’re coming from—I really do! Back when I was totally broke and couldn't afford a single thing, my doctor would just suggest, "Well, why don't you just go grab a coffee in the park or something?" It was one of those suggestions that didn't quite hit the mark, you know? Now, things are looking up a little bit—not exactly "rolling in it" status, mind you, but I'm definitely not struggling to afford a simple cup of coffee anymore. The funny thing is, even though I have more breathing room now, I don't actually feel like going out for coffee all that much. I have the desire, truly I do, but when it comes down to actually making it happen, I just... stall. It’s like socializing itself is physically draining. Even being on this forum, unfortunately, feels like a bit of an effort sometimes. I can't quite put my finger on why it is this way—it isn't laziness, believe me—but it’s as if the whole concept of interacting just exhausts me. I can fully empathize with what it's like to be struggling financially, and please, trust me, being poor is absolutely not a sin. I don't understand why some people make such a big deal out of it, though I do notice that people can find it exhausting when someone is going through a hard time—so, on one hand, I really don't want to feel like a burden to anyone in that sense. Honestly, maybe I'm better off this way, even if my doctor keeps nudging me to get out and socialize more. Personally? I don't see the problem at all. 🤷

Well, you probably just have other things going on that fill your time—besides this forum and hanging out with people. It's possible that's why socializing feels so draining, because from what I've gathered, we're all a little bit schizoid. You're just getting drained energetically, since the condition—at least based on my own realization—affects people in a way that makes them more tired, so they end up burning through their energy even faster.

@Angela Stewart6, @Chloe Flores83
Ladies, you should all head to the movies this Wednesday. Seriously, don't just sit around the house isolating yourselves—life is passing you by while you're stuck inside. Take your meds to manage those symptoms and get out there. Go live your lives.

Visionary, you hit the nail on the head. I’m working—it’s my main occupation, and honestly, it brings me a real sense of fulfillment. Things can be a bit of an uphill battle for us, but hey, what can you do? You just have to keep fighting the good fight. I truly hope you get that pay increase you're looking for.

Chloe Flores83, sure, some things might seem easier than others, but everything worth doing requires real effort—even something like crafting text. There’s no reason to beat yourself up if you’re putting in the work; I actually get the impression that people expect a lot from us, which isn't necessarily a bad thing! It just means we need to be thorough. We shouldn't rush through things just to say we're done—you know, to avoid any unintended side effects, if you catch my drift.

Jamie Lewis, thank you so much for the invite, but I actually just committed to grabbing coffee with someone. I do try to get out and socialize a little bit every now and then 👍. My main goal is simply to ensure that when I do succeed, I’m doing it with actual quality. That is such a tall order these days—especially for someone without a diagnosis, let alone someone living with one.

So, where has our little sweetheart disappeared to? 🤔

She wasn't doing great. It’s possible she ended up in the hospital. 😢

Angela Stewart6 said:Chloe Flores83, you are absolutely spot on. I honestly can't wrap my head around why it’s like this sometimes—it's just one of those things! Just the other day, I almost told my mom, "Look, there goes a jet instead of a semi-truck" 🤔. It really takes me a moment to process things, and I’ve realized that I definitely struggle when communication needs to be lightning-fast. It’s just not my speed, and since being social really demands that quick wit, I often find it much more comfortable to just stay quiet. Honestly, staying silent isn't necessarily easier, but it certainly feels more pleasant! Of course, other people—and by that, I mean doctors and professionals ☕
—tend to think I’m somehow lacking in that area.

Does your doctor actually push you to be more social? Man, I wish. My psychiatrist barely even listens to me. As soon as I start opening up about how I’m feeling, she just starts typing away on her keyboard. She doesn't stop until I've finished rambling about every little nuance and worry regarding my insomnia and low moods. She doesn't really talk much—no advice, nothing. She just swaps out my sleep meds and says, "See you at the next appointment." It’s over in ten minutes flat. Honestly, I feel like that Dormicum was just causing total chaos in my brain—everything from slurred speech to dark thoughts. I switched over to Xanax yesterday, and today has actually been one of my better days in every single way. I was even uncharacteristically chatty at work! Anyway, here's the long version... 🙄

Chloe Flores83, thank God I have a doctor who is truly one of the absolute best in the US! He’s been nudging me in that direction almost from the very beginning—though he takes things quite slowly—but lately, he’s started insisting on it. I am just so incredibly happy to hear that you're feeling better! Is xanax being used as an add-on for you? It makes me wonder if your doctor might be utilizing a different style of psychotherapy than mine does :nezna:

Angela Stewart6 said:Chloe Flores83, thank God I have a doctor who is truly one of the absolute best in the US! He’s been nudging me in that direction almost from the very beginning—though he takes things quite slowly—but lately, he’s started insisting on it. I am just so incredibly happy to hear that you're feeling better! Is xanax being used as an add-on for you? It makes me wonder if your doctor might be utilizing a different style of psychotherapy than mine does :nezna:

With schizophrenia, psychotherapy doesn't do squat. You just need to keep up with the antipsychotics!

Robin Lopez2 said:With schizophrenia, psychotherapy doesn't do squat. You just need to keep up with the antipsychotics!

I know I’m playing with fire by skipping my meds, but after being hospitalized so many times, I’m trying to figure out if I can actually spot that moment when the wires cross and everything starts spiraling. Like, can I actually sense when things are going sideways? Should I just accept that something is off and stop obsessing over every little thing before I end up back in the psych ward? Is there a way to catch it early? And what happens if these episodes keep happening? People say it messes with your cognitive skills. In what way, though? What's actually happening to my brain?

Angela Stewart6 said:Chloe Flores83, thank God I have a doctor who is truly one of the absolute best in the US! He’s been nudging me in that direction almost from the very beginning—though he takes things quite slowly—but lately, he’s started insisting on it. I am just so incredibly happy to hear that you're feeling better! Is xanax being used as an add-on for you? It makes me wonder if your doctor might be utilizing a different style of psychotherapy than mine does :nezna:

Actually, my doctor prescribed the Xanax for insomnia, and honestly, I’ve felt so much better these past three days since I started taking it (I’m even trying to make coffee dates over the weekend🙂. It feels like there’s something seriously intense about that Dormicum; it seems like all sleep meds have this weird lingering effect, at least for me.

Chloe Flores83, that sounds a bit like you’re trying to run an experiment on your own brain—which, honestly, can be a slippery slope! You really ought to stick to the established protocols here. I find myself circling back to my cancer analogy again—it’s just so fitting! It’s like someone deciding to skip a single round of chemotherapy because they think, "Hey, maybe I'll just feel better if I bypass this one dose." That’s just not how it works.
As for sleep aids, I am right there with you. Most doctors will go to great lengths to avoid prescribing them whenever possible. I used to rely quite heavily on Sanvale myself, but my physicians were very firm about getting me off of them. To be fair, whenever I did take a Sanvale pill, I’d wake up the next day feeling... I don't know, just sluggish and totally wiped out? That sensation eventually fades with prolonged use, but it still feels like using them for too long isn't exactly the healthiest way to go about things.

Robin Lopez2, while antipsychotics and these other medications definitely serve as the foundation of treatment, they really aren't a silver bullet—you need so much more than just a prescription to truly heal. We’re talking about genuine emotional support, deep understanding, consistent psychotherapy, a supportive environment, and all those other vital pieces of the puzzle.

Visionary, have you ever actually been hospitalized?
I honestly can't recall seeing anything about it in your past posts.

Chloe Flores83 said:I know I’m playing with fire by skipping my meds, but after being hospitalized so many times, I’m trying to figure out if I can actually spot that moment when the wires cross and everything starts spiraling. Like, can I actually sense when things are going sideways? Should I just accept that something is off and stop obsessing over every little thing before I end up back in the psych ward? Is there a way to catch it early? And what happens if these episodes keep happening? People say it messes with your cognitive skills. In what way, though? What's actually happening to my brain?

If you’ve already lived through one psychotic episode, you know the drill. They aren't identical—one might feel like being a Hollywood starlet while the next feels like you're a sleeper agent for a foreign government—but the underlying mechanics remain the same. Once you recognize the pattern, you can spot the warning signs of a relapse and jump back on your therapy before things spiral. You have to be incredibly disciplined with yourself. The moment you notice even the smallest red flag, you need to act. Psychosis doesn't hit all at once; it comes in waves. When the water is calm, you're still yourself, and that's your window to think clearly and make a plan.

Angela Stewart6 said:Robin Lopez2, while antipsychotics and these other medications definitely serve as the foundation of treatment, they really aren't a silver bullet—you need so much more than just a prescription to truly heal. We’re talking about genuine emotional support, deep understanding, consistent psychotherapy, a supportive environment, and all those other vital pieces of the puzzle.

When you're in the middle of a psychotic episode, you’re convinced you're right, and nothing anyone says will change your mind. Therapy is basically useless until the medication actually kicks in and levels things out. I've been on treatment since 1999, and I haven't spent a single second in psychotherapy.

Robin Lopez2, you’re being a little bit contradictory here—I mean, in one post you were insisting that seizures are treated strictly with pills, and now you're claiming they don't have to be 🤔. Ah, I see what you did there—you were actually making a point about psychotherapy
.

And honestly, even if we feel completely certain that our current situation is the absolute reality, we have to remember—that feeling itself is just another symptom of the illness.

I sometimes get this nagging feeling that my psychosis is creeping back in if I work with my doctor to scale back my medication just a little too much. Honestly, ever since I was diagnosed with F20, I haven't completely stepped away from my treatment, yet I still find myself hitting rough patches every now and then. About a year and a half ago, for instance, I skipped my check-ups for six months while staying on a minimal dose; between having a few drinks here and there, the stress of classes at UCLA, pulling way too many overtime hours at work, and getting caught up in a fight on campus, everything just kind of boiled over and resulted in a three-week hospital stay. I’ve also noticed that whenever my life undergoes a sudden shift—like moving to a new apartment or starting a new job—my mental health takes a hit. My digestion goes haywire, I start stuttering quite badly, and sleep becomes almost impossible, which means I have to bump up my antipsychotics again. It stays that way until I finally settle into the new routine, at which point I can go back to a lower dose. I truly don't understand people who repeatedly stop taking their meds when they already know they struggle with psychosis. That's just not how my brain works.