Schizophrenia - General Discussion

Harold Anderson3 said:I sometimes get this nagging feeling that my psychosis is creeping back in if I work with my doctor to scale back my medication just a little too much. Honestly, ever since I was diagnosed with F20, I haven't completely stepped away from my treatment, yet I still find myself hitting rough patches every now and then. About a year and a half ago, for instance, I skipped my check-ups for six months while staying on a minimal dose; between having a few drinks here and there, the stress of classes at UCLA, pulling way too many overtime hours at work, and getting caught up in a fight on campus, everything just kind of boiled over and resulted in a three-week hospital stay. I’ve also noticed that whenever my life undergoes a sudden shift—like moving to a new apartment or starting a new job—my mental health takes a hit. My digestion goes haywire, I start stuttering quite badly, and sleep becomes almost impossible, which means I have to bump up my antipsychotics again. It stays that way until I finally settle into the new routine, at which point I can go back to a lower dose. I truly don't understand people who repeatedly stop taking their meds when they already know they struggle with psychosis. That's just not how my brain works.

Angela Stewart6 said:Chloe Flores83, that sounds a bit like you’re trying to run an experiment on your own brain—which, honestly, can be a slippery slope! You really ought to stick to the established protocols here. I find myself circling back to my cancer analogy again—it’s just so fitting! It’s like someone deciding to skip a single round of chemotherapy because they think, "Hey, maybe I'll just feel better if I bypass this one dose." That’s just not how it works.
As for sleep aids, I am right there with you. Most doctors will go to great lengths to avoid prescribing them whenever possible. I used to rely quite heavily on Sanvale myself, but my physicians were very firm about getting me off of them. To be fair, whenever I did take a Sanvale pill, I’d wake up the next day feeling... I don't know, just sluggish and totally wiped out? That sensation eventually fades with prolonged use, but it still feels like using them for too long isn't exactly the healthiest way to go about things.

Robin Lopez2;70767139 said:If you’ve already been through one psychotic episode and know the drill (even if they aren't all identical—one might feel like being royalty and the next like being a secret agent, but the core concept stays the same), then you can spot the warning signs of another one coming on. You have to jump on therapy immediately. You really have to be strict with yourself the second you notice those tiny little red flags, because it comes in waves. You feel totally fine when there isn't a wave hitting, which gives you a moment to actually think.

It's a bit more complicated for me. I don't know about everyone else, but I definitely had what people call a "calling." Saving the world, obviously. At first, I didn't want to buy into it, because honestly, it sounded just as ridiculous to me as it does to anyone reading this. But then, step by step, I ended up spending an entire year convinced that I was the resurrected Jesus. Everything just seemed to line up perfectly so it felt real. I mean, like I said, at first I couldn't believe such nonsense, but then God convinces you that you're someone special. Suddenly, you're the life of the party, everyone wants to hang out with you, and you function surprisingly well for a whole year.
Now, what could trigger another hospital stay now that I'm an unbeliever without a grand mission? I honestly don't know. I'll only react if my faith in God comes back. Even though, truth be told, those were some of the most beautiful times of my life. It's hard when you feel like you're in direct contact with the living God—like He's actually real, and not just some concept we humans use to build religions.

Chloe Flores83 said:My situation was a bit more complicated. I don't know about everyone else, but I felt like I had a "mission." Saving the world, obviously. At first, I didn't want to accept it because, just like anyone reading this, it sounded completely ridiculous to me. But then, step by step, I reached a point where I spent an entire year convinced that I was the resurrected Jesus. Everything seemed to line up so perfectly that it felt real. Even though, like I said, I couldn't believe such nonsense initially, God eventually convinces you that you're someone special. Suddenly, you become the life of the party, everyone wants to hang out with you, and things work out beautifully for a whole year.
Now, what could possibly happen to land me back in the hospital now that I'm a non-believer without a mission? I have no idea. I'll only react if my faith in God returns. Honestly, those were some of the most beautiful times of my life. It’s when you feel like you're actually in contact with a living God—that He is real, rather than just some concept our faith is built upon.

Robin Lopez2 said:There have been plenty of people who thought they were Jesus, and during my first psychotic episode, I was a "New Age Jesus" destined to die for the sake of humanity, until I realized I was actually invincible. 😬

Right now, I'm running from religion and spirituality as fast as I can, and I feel great. To me, it's all just superstition now, nothing worth mentioning—like how people think a black cat crossing your path means bad luck or how seeing a chimney sweep makes you grab your buttons.

Parts of psychosis can be incredibly beautiful while you're actually in it, but once I come out the other side, those moments seem stupid, and I feel embarrassed by what I was saying back then.

Matthew Castillo5 said:Personally, I think staying on your prescribed medication is way more critical for preventing future psychotic episodes than running away from faith or spirituality. Religion didn't trigger your psychosis; trauma did (likely from the war, if I had to guess).

Also, I have to disagree with your take that psychotherapy is useless for people with schizophrenia. Sure, it’s impossible during an acute phase, but once things stabilize, I truly believe working on yourself through therapy makes a massive difference.

Robin Lopez2 said:There have been plenty of people who thought they were Jesus, and during my first psychotic episode, I was a "New Age Jesus" destined to die for the sake of humanity, until I realized I was actually invincible. 😬

Right now, I'm running from religion and spirituality as fast as I can, and I feel great. To me, it's all just superstition now, nothing worth mentioning—like how people think a black cat crossing your path means bad luck or how seeing a chimney sweep makes you grab your buttons.

Parts of psychosis can be incredibly beautiful while you're actually in it, but once I come out the other side, those moments seem stupid, and I feel embarrassed by what I was saying back then.

Chloe Flores83 said:Wow, okay. So, how long were you playing Jesus before you ended up in the hospital, and how long did it take you to get back on your feet? And if it isn't too much of a secret—maybe in a private message?—how did you act while you were "Jesus"? For me, being "Jesus" was just being myself, only dialed up to eleven. I didn't think I was all-powerful; I just had way too much of everything: energy, positivity, confidence, faith in God... Also, I don't get how someone can function normally for an entire year while in a psychotic state without anyone noticing. It makes no sense to me! What counts as "just rambling nonsense" versus actual psychosis where you're acting totally unpredictable?

Robin Lopez2 said:I’ve never been a believer, even before my first psychosis. When I was a kid, I joined a religious studies class at church just to hang out with the group. Once the class was canceled and I got home, I told my mom that the priest was lying about everything. I never took communion or completed confirmation—and I never will (even Jesus didn't take communion or get confirmed). I went through a religious phase during my first psychotic break, but now that I'm doing better, I've simply returned to being an atheist, which is where I've always stood.

I have been in treatment since 1999 when my first episode occurred. I have worked with three different psychiatrists, and I am currently seeing my fourth. Not one of them has ever suggested psychotherapy for someone in my specific situation, which is why I say what I do.

And honestly, when you are in the middle of a psychosis, what good is therapy? You feel like the master of the universe; you end up trying to give everyone else therapy instead. 😬

Robin Lopez2 said:I’ve never been a believer, even before my first psychosis. When I was a kid, I joined a religious studies class at church just to hang out with the group. Once the class was canceled and I got home, I told my mom that the priest was lying about everything. I never took communion or completed confirmation—and I never will (even Jesus didn't take communion or get confirmed). I went through a religious phase during my first psychotic break, but now that I'm doing better, I've simply returned to being an atheist, which is where I've always stood.

I have been in treatment since 1999 when my first episode occurred. I have worked with three different psychiatrists, and I am currently seeing my fourth. Not one of them has ever suggested psychotherapy for someone in my specific situation, which is why I say what I do.

And honestly, when you are in the middle of a psychosis, what good is therapy? You feel like the master of the universe; you end up trying to give everyone else therapy instead. 😬

Matthew Castillo5 said:Everything's fine, I respect your stance. I am a believer myself, but I don't discriminate based on faith.

I'm assuming you've been seeing psychiatrists through Medicare at a hospital or a community clinic, and those places are usually slammed even without offering therapy. Plus, most of those doctors aren't actually trained psychotherapists—you need extra certification for that. So, it doesn't surprise me one bit that they haven't brought it up. I'm just saying, it might actually be worth looking into if you ever decide you're ready for it.

I haven't seen any posts from anamar yet. I'll be keeping an eye out for their input. kaže:
So, how long were you playing the role of Jesus before you ended up in the hospital, and what was your recovery timeline like? Also, if it isn't too much of a secret—and feel free to just send me a DM—how did you actually carry yourself while acting as Jesus? As for my own experience, I felt exactly the same as I always have. It wasn't that I thought I was all-powerful; it was just that everything was turned up way too high. I had an overwhelming amount of energy, positivity, confidence, and faith in God. It honestly baffles me how a person can function perfectly normally for an entire year while actually being in a state of psychosis without anyone noticing a thing. How is that even possible? What is the line between psychosis and just talking nonsense or acting a bit unpredictable?

Matthew Castillo5 said:Everything's fine, I respect your stance. I am a believer myself, but I don't discriminate based on faith.

I'm assuming you've been seeing psychiatrists through Medicare at a hospital or a community clinic, and those places are usually slammed even without offering therapy. Plus, most of those doctors aren't actually trained psychotherapists—you need extra certification for that. So, it doesn't surprise me one bit that they haven't brought it up. I'm just saying, it might actually be worth looking into if you ever decide you're ready for it.

Jose Ward4 said:It’s not that. You just radiate this incredible energy and suddenly you have enough confidence to take on the world. I actually almost got into a scrap with some tough guys at my local dive bar—I was basically daring them to step up. Of course, there were three of them out front and another one waiting in the trunk of their car, so... yeah, it wasn't like some movie scene where you're just acting crazy; it was this overwhelming, unshakable self-assurance. I honestly believed I could charm any woman I met just by being in her presence. You realize something is off, you notice you aren't quite the person you used to be, but you haven't the slightest clue why.

Angela Stewart6 said:Chloe Flores83, that sounds a bit like you’re trying to run an experiment on your own brain—which, honestly, can be a slippery slope! You really ought to stick to the established protocols here. I find myself circling back to my cancer analogy again—it’s just so fitting! It’s like someone deciding to skip a single round of chemotherapy because they think, "Hey, maybe I'll just feel better if I bypass this one dose." That’s just not how it works.
As for sleep aids, I am right there with you. Most doctors will go to great lengths to avoid prescribing them whenever possible. I used to rely quite heavily on Sanvale myself, but my physicians were very firm about getting me off of them. To be fair, whenever I did take a Sanvale pill, I’d wake up the next day feeling... I don't know, just sluggish and totally wiped out? That sensation eventually fades with prolonged use, but it still feels like using them for too long isn't exactly the healthiest way to go about things.

Angela Stewart6 said:Visionary, have you ever actually been hospitalized?
I honestly can't recall seeing anything about it in your past posts.

Harold Anderson3 said:Psychotherapy can definitely be helpful, but in a case like this, medication is really the key factor in helping someone function effectively at work and in their daily life. I personally go in once a month to see my doctor, and it’s much more than just getting a prescription refilled; we spend an hour or so just talking, for as long as it needs to take. It’s what I consider a mix of a check-up and supportive therapy. At least, that’s how things work with my doctor in Washington, D.C. If you head out to the rural parts of the country, it's a completely different story, because if we're looking at the whole US, the mental health care in Washington, D.C. is really the best you're going to find. Sadly, it is what it is...

Chloe Flores83 said:Robin Lopez2: "So, I actually fired a cop once 😬 He’s standing right there in front of me, asking why I'm making such a scene, so I just tip my hat and tell him, 'As of today, you don't work for the Department of Justice anymore. You're fired.' When I saw how terrified he looked, I felt bad and gave his hat back. And that was that."

Heh, honestly, did you really think you were the Secretary of Homeland Security or something? Here's the absolute dumbest thing I ever did—right before I ended up in the ER: I picked up this massive, bright pink trash bag overflowing with papers from outside some building on Fifth Avenue and hauled it over to the National Academy of Sciences. A doorman walks up, and I just tell him I've got a delivery for zvonak Kusić. What kind of delivery? Well, someone at Walmart asked me to drop off a package for an academic, so I handed him the trash bag. Poor guy looked totally frantic; he didn't know whether to take it or not, so he ended up calling someone else for help. This guy just looks at me, then at the bag, looking completely baffled. A package? This literal trash? Hm...☕