Adam Sullivan2
Newcomer
4 messages
joined Jan 2007
Hey everyone!
I'm 24, a college student, and I've always been highly sensitive and pretty introverted.
I’ve never actually been in a relationship, and honestly, I have this paralyzing fear of social interaction—especially when it comes to men.
About two years ago, I decided to see a psychiatrist because I was terrified that I was developing schizophrenia. I was having massive panic attacks and was scared of absolutely everything: leaving my house, being around people, death... just everything.
As it turns out, my diagnosis wasn't schizophrenia; it was depression, neurosis, social phobia, and OCD.
My doctor put me on Zoloft, which I took for a year. After that, she tapered my dose down from 50mg to 25mg a day.
Then, about five months ago, she tried to get me off Zoloft entirely.
But after three months without it, those same dark thoughts from two years ago came rushing back.
I feel totally isolated, like nobody loves me and like the whole world is against me.
I started searching for schizophrenia symptoms online, and I somehow managed to convince myself that I was experiencing all of them.
I became paranoid.
When I told my psychiatrist, she insisted again that it isn't schizophrenia or paranoia,
so she put me back on Zoloft. I've been back on it for 18 days now, but I still feel terrible.
I'm also taking Xanax.
I just can't shake these dark thoughts. I constantly feel like something terrible is going to happen,
like I'm going to die or lose my mind...
I'm genuinely scared that I'm already losing it.
Is there any way out of this? I really can't do this anymore. I can't eat, I can't sleep... my head is a total nightmare right now.
Help!😕