What does tolerance mean to you?

Andrew Scott98 said:They probably won't ban you. You could always just ask them to move it over there, or see if they'll let you open it on that platform instead. 🙂 I doubt they'd ban someone for that, especially if they aren't banning people for much heavier stuff here. 🙂

I guess I'll go ahead and ask them...😉 🙂

quiethound45 said:Look, I get it... honestly, I find the whole thing just as ridiculous as you do. It doesn't even bother me personally because I know I’m not at fault here—I guess some of us are just laid-back by nature—but the sheer amount of hostility and arrogance out there is wild. I feel like I can't even relax in public anymore or just exist in peace. People like that drive you toward paranoia; you're constantly trying to dodge these awkward situations, but since you can't, you start looking over your shoulder, waiting for someone to snap at you over nothing...
I don't know where you're located, but living in a massive city like New York, you just can't escape social interaction no matter how much you want to...

Out here in the Midwest, specifically near Indianapolis—you don't see this stuff nearly as often, though it happens occasionally. From what I've noticed, people here either ignore you completely or they'll just give you a piece of their mind if they have a problem.......

So, there you go—you definitely aren't alone in feeling this way. Hang in there...

Stana said:In the Midwest, around Indianapolis—there isn't quite as much of this happening, but it can flare up occasionally. From what I've noticed, people here either just handle it themselves or you end up getting hit...

So, you see now that you aren't alone in this situation. Just try to enjoy yourself...

Oh, and one more thing—that’s a whole different story. Enjoy your time; it sounds nice. At least you have the option to escape. Here, there isn't a single spot where you won't run into someone. Maybe that’s why people are so high-strung; you can't find a place to just be by yourself and get some peace and quiet.
When I head down to the coast, it's a completely different vibe. People are much calmer and more tolerant there. If someone starts acting up, two regular folks will usually step in and either shut them down quickly or calm things down. 😉
But in a place like NYC, it's nothing like that. Like, this guy was screaming right in front of us, and people were just walking past like nothing was happening. Everyone just keeps their heads down and moves on. In cities like this, you hear about people getting jumped or stabbed right on the street, and people hardly even bother to help. It’s pretty bad. 👎

Honestly, just pack up and move somewhere where you can actually find some peace. It’s way better to hit the reset button and start over from scratch if it means finally enjoying your life, rather than spending your whole existence putting up with bullshit only to realize later that it didn't have to be this way. At the end of the day, what's a few thousand miles compared to finally being able to breathe?

Stana said:Maybe just move somewhere where you can actually find some peace. I think it’s better to start over from scratch and finally enjoy life than to spend your whole existence putting up with nonsense, only to realize later that it didn't have to be that way. At the end of the day, distance doesn't really matter if it means being happy.

I hear you. Honestly, I'm planning on moving out to the coast to stay with my boyfriend. I've never been one for crowded cities, so hopefully things will settle down soon.😬 I mostly started this thread because while I might "save" myself, so many people get stuck in these intense, crazy social circles where living together peacefully becomes almost impossible.
And who's to say this won't happen in other communities too? Though I doubt it, since in small towns, everyone knows everything—like how that one kid from Stana's family is a total jerk, and the whole town knows it.😉 People just tend to avoid him. It usually works like that in small-town America; everyone knows everyone's business, which makes it easier to just steer clear of difficult personalities. Plus, people tend to lose their minds more easily when they don't have their own space and privacy.🙂

lianne said:I totally get it—I’m actually planning to move out to the coast to be near my boyfriend. I’ve always hated crowded cities, so hopefully things improve soon😬. But honestly, I just started this thread because while I might "save" myself, so many people end up stuck in these crazy little communities where living together becomes impossible...
And who’s to say this won't happen in other places too? Though I doubt it, since in small towns everyone knows if, say, little Bobby from down the street is a jerk—the whole town knows😉... so they just stay away. It's that whole vibe where everyone knows everyone's business, which makes it easier to dodge the difficult personalities. Plus, those types tend to act out even more when they have their own space and peace (especially nature!)🙂

In my humble opinion, these kinds of escapes are often just attempts to run away from ourselves, and we all know how easy that is... Every environment has its own pros and cons, and that's really subjective. What works for one person might be a nightmare for another... I just know that plenty of people I've met who moved from rural areas to big cities felt like they finally found themselves, mostly because that "everyone knows everything" rule doesn't exist anymore.🙂

atmajian said:I guess my humble take is that these kinds of escapes are really just attempts to run away from oneself, which we all know can be a pretty difficult thing to do. Every environment—and every type of community—has its own set of pros and cons, and those are obviously entirely subjective. What works perfectly for one person might be a total drawback for someone else. I just know that from talking to plenty of people who moved from small towns to big cities, they often felt like they finally found themselves because they weren't living under that "everyone knows everyone" microscope anymore. 🙂

It’s really just two different paths: one generation moves from the countryside to the city, and the next heads back to the sticks. I was born here and have stayed my whole life, and honestly, I just crave peace. A smaller town is exactly where I belong. My sister, on the other hand, is dead set on staying in the city because she prefers the vibe there for her own reasons. I guess everything has its pros and cons. In a small town, finding work might be a bit tougher, but people don't gossip about you nearly as much, which gives you some breathing room. Then again, it can be so quiet that if you got into an accident on a backroad, nobody would even notice. It’s a trade-off. But looking at it broadly, I think human nature leans toward staying in smaller communities just to preserve a certain tradition or a slower pace of life. In big cities, everyone is under constant stress. Sure, finding a job might be easier, but you end up working like a dog. Between the commute and the overtime, you're easily gone 12 or 13 hours a day. What do you actually get out of life like that? Maybe that works for some people, but it’s just not me. It isn't about running away from who I am—I’m the same person regardless of where I stand. It’s more about moving to a place where I actually feel like myself. I don't feel right here; I love being out in nature, and to me, nature isn't just a single tree surrounded by miles of asphalt. I'm going to head out, but I suppose someone else will find their rhythm in the hustle and bustle. It’s all very individual.

I mean, I’ve dealt with my fair share of personal attacks too, so why are we even acting surprised when people act out?...... Just look at this pre-holiday madness—it’s unreal. I was sitting in a Starbucks yesterday just watching the crowd, and honestly, everyone is just sprinting around, buying stuff left and right, but you don't see a single genuine smile. It’s not even that they’re angry, per se, they’re just... stuck up. And why? Because they feel the need to blow their entire paycheck on the holidays, right? It doesn't matter if you actually have the money or not—what matters is making sure everyone *thinks* you do. You know, that whole "wow, look at me" vibe, trying to force people to respect you or like you based on some fancy gadgets or designer labels...........

Honestly, this whole consumerist culture makes me sick. It feels like more and more people are acting more like animals than actual humans. Everyone is putting on this massive act, pretending to be something they are miles away from being, so it’s no wonder they end up so frustrated. Then, when you happen to cross paths with one of these types, they snap at you like you personally attacked them—and there you are, just minding your own business, walking your dog...........

Christian Doyle3 said:I’ve definitely dealt with people being aggressive toward my own skin before, so I don't know why we're surprised... just look at this pre-holiday madness. I was sitting in a coffee shop yesterday just watching everyone, and it was constant rushing and shopping, but you didn't see a single smile. They weren't even angry, per se, just incredibly high-strung. And why? Because they feel the need to blow through their savings for the holidays. It doesn't really matter if you can actually afford it; what matters is projecting that image of having it all. Like, "wow, look at me," so everyone will suddenly respect you or whatever...

Honestly, this whole consumerist culture is exhausting. More and more people are acting on pure instinct rather than logic. Everyone is pretending to be something they are miles away from being, so it's probably no wonder they're so frustrated. When you run into one of those people while you're just out walking your dog, they snap at you like you've done something terrible, when you were really just minding your own business...

Exactly.👍

😘

Tolerance should be a two-way street
It shouldn't extend to those who lack basic decency. I haven't really noticed it helping my temperament, either. To me, tolerance often feels more like mere endurance. The real question we have to ask ourselves is: what exactly are we putting up with?
For instance, I can tolerate neighbors hosting a lively get-together until 1:00 AM, but once it hits 2:00, that’s where I draw the line. Then again, I know plenty of people who would be calling the police by 11:00 PM. Ultimately, it all comes down to your own personal threshold for disruption.

Regarding the driving situation... you have to be careful because some of these drivers, especially those pushing 40 mph and up in residential areas, can be incredibly aggressive. Honestly, keeping a baseball bat tucked under the seat feels like a necessary precaution sometimes. And whatever you do, don't roll down your window to argue with them if they step out of their vehicle. In 90% of cases, you’re just asking to get punched straight in the teeth.

barbika said:just look at this pre-holiday madness—I was sitting in a coffee shop just yesterday, people-watching, and honestly? It’s exhausting. Everyone is sprinting around, buying things left and right, and you don't see a single genuine smile. They aren't even angry, per se; they're just... stuck up. And why? Because apparently, you have to blow your entire paycheck on the holidays just to keep up appearances. It doesn't matter if you're broke or drowning in debt—what matters is the illusion. You have to project that "wow, look how much I have" vibe so everyone will respect you or whatever...
I am sick to my stomach over this consumerist rot. More and more people are acting like animals, chasing some hollow ideal they aren't even remotely close to achieving. No wonder everyone is so perpetually frustrated! Then, you stumble upon one of these high-strung types while you're just trying to exist—and they snap at you like you personally insulted their entire lineage, when in reality, you were just out for a peaceful walk with your dog...div>

🙏

emnasut462 said:Yeah, regarding the driving situation... honestly, drivers over 40 can be absolutely unhinged. You might want to keep a baseball bat tucked under the seat just in case—seriously. And whatever you do, don't even think about rolling down your window to argue with them if they hop out of their car. In 90% of cases, you're just asking for a punch to the teeth.

Look, I'm not a driver myself, but I have two relatives who are on American roads every single day, and they tell me the exact same thing—driving etiquette in the US is basically non-existent.👎

lianne said:I was just out walking, lost in thought about my upcoming bar exam 😳 😬, when I noticed this little dog. She’s usually the sweetest thing—never bites, doesn't snap at anyone, just wanders along peacefully... She actually stopped to wait for me, but then this gentleman cut right past me. Suddenly, he turns around and starts screaming at me for no reason at all, yelling about leashes and whatnot. I was stunned... We hadn't even done anything to him. I tried telling him she wasn't a threat and suggested he just walk around us if he was worried, but he just kept shouting... completely irrational...

Something similar happened to me once. I was maybe thirteen, and the dog was on a leash back then. I was walking down a road near our house with my younger cousin—she was four years younger than me—heading toward the woods. This guy suddenly bursts out of his driveway and starts yelling at me because the dog needs a muzzle. It was a tiny little thing, honestly. I wasn't just shaking from fear, but from pure anger... it was too much. And to make matters worse, there are always several dogs running free around here... it's been like that for years.
I really have to wonder... what goes through someone's head to let them scream like a maniac at two young girls?

-ana- said:I’m not behind the wheel myself, but I have two relatives who drive on American roads every single day. They constantly tell me that driving culture here is practically nonexistent.👎

Driving has turned into a literal fight for survival. Traffic is a nightmare. Sometimes you actually have to be aggressive just to merge into a lane... if you don't, you're stuck. For someone like me—usually indecisive and passive—driving actually feels like therapy. It forces me to stay sharp. And regarding tolerance (on topic 🙂), there is still something rewarding about pulling over to let someone else go. When they wave thanks... it feels genuinely human.

Mr. Oizo said:Driving has basically turned into a survival sport. Traffic is just brutal, and sometimes you have to be a little aggressive if you actually want to merge into a lane. I’m usually a pretty indecisive, laid-back person, so driving actually feels a bit like therapy for me—it forces me to stay sharp and engaged. And regarding tolerance (staying on topic 🙂), there’s still something really nice about pulling over to let someone else go. When they wave thanks, it just feels human.

That’s exactly it. Those small, human moments that used to brighten your day just seem to have vanished. Have you noticed how people on the street don't feel comfortable being friendly anymore? Everyone just looks so grumpy. About ten years ago, I’d frequently catch someone's eye and share a quick, silly smile... but nowadays, if I'm in a good mood and try to share that vibe, people just stare at me like I’ve lost my mind😢... it honestly kills my mood immediately.
So, just to spite them, I'll flash a huge grin while walking through town—let them stare. It makes me feel better because I can hold onto that positive energy, even if I’m the only one on the sidewalk feeling that way.🙂
The basic politeness—saying please, thank you, or excuse me—is gone. That sense of communal courtesy just isn't there anymore 👎... everyone seems rude, shouting or picking fights, and just generally disrespectful.😢

@lianne

Ever heard that old saying?

Every season brings its own weight to carry

Those teenage years are long gone now—you’re changing, you’re maturing, and you start to actually notice how much people's behavior shifts over time. It's... well, it's a lot to process.
You change, they change—it's all connected. And honestly, maybe you were even an annoyance to someone back in the day because of how you acted—who knows? Maybe people were whispering about you behind your back, or maybe they weren't... I guess we can never really be sure, right? ????

As time goes on, I feel like we really ought to stop obsessing over how we judge others—and more importantly, how we worry about how they see us. Because, let's be real, maybe we *are* those people sometimes. Maybe our own self-image is just... I don't know, skewed? A little bit distorted? It happens. 😉

lianne said:Where did all that good old tolerance go? Why does it feel like people are just incredibly intolerant these days, ready to snap at anyone for no reason? My personal motto has always been "live and let live." I try my best to be understanding and patient with everyone. I make it a point to be respectful and stay out of people's business without any provocation—that’s just how I was raised...
But lately, I feel like I'm being attacked over the smallest things. Whether it's walking the dog, grabbing groceries at Target, riding the subway, or just driving my car, these totally harmless everyday moments seem to trigger people for no reason at all. What is happening? Where is this sudden intolerance coming from? It feels so pathetic and exhausting. Given how I view the world, I honestly can't wrap my head around it—why are people acting this way, and why does it seem to be getting worse?

I find it easier to just keep my distance from people.
I tend to have high expectations, so I end up getting frustrated pretty quickly.

normall said:@quiethound45

Ever heard that old saying?

Every season brings its own weight.

Those teenage years are long gone, and as you grow up and mature, you start noticing how much people's behavior shifts.
It’s not just you changing; everyone else is evolving too. Maybe you were the one being difficult back in the day, or maybe someone used to talk about you behind your back—who knows?

I guess over time, we should probably stop worrying so much about how we judge others or how they perceive us. It might be that our own self-image isn't always perfectly accurate anyway. 😉

There's some truth to that... though I can't help but feel like people are becoming increasingly unhinged because of the era we're living in.
I remember being that kid on the subway, giggling along with my friends and driving people crazy, but now those same people are the ones getting on my nerves. Everything feels different now. Today's teenagers seem way more intense than we ever were—definitely more oblivious. We actually understood where the line was.
I remember once an old man on the bus started yelling at us, calling us nothing but trouble. We were absolutely terrified and just shut up. Nowadays, kids would probably yell right back at him. Times change, I suppose. You're supposed to adapt, but I find that's easier said than done. 😬

outoftheblue said:I find it easier to just keep my distance from people.
I tend to have high expectations, so I get frustrated pretty quickly.

That’s honestly true too..🙂