Emotional Intelligence: A blessing or a curse?

And now you're coming after her—seriously, what is even the point of this forum if we're just going to do this?

She shared her take, and that's perfectly fine. Whether or not you actually agree with her isn't the issue here—it’s about the fact that you should be able to just state your own opinion and leave it at that.

VioletStorm said:What you’re describing is what we actually call INTELLIGENCE.
The thing people try to label as "emotional intelligence" is basically the Mormonism of the US:
Americans got so frustrated by the fact they didn't have an indigenous religion that they just had to invent one from scratch.
It’s the same with people who aren't bright. They desperately want to feel smart. You see it with middle managers, scammers, even those guys running shady corner cafes... they all possess a very specific, low-level type of cunning known as STREET SMARTS.
But nowadays, because there’s this massive trend where everyone wants to feel special—even though most people can't think their way out of a paper bag—they cooked up the term EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE to repackage that basic SHREWDNESS.
They’ve set it up as a rival to actual INTELLIGENCE, claiming it’s actually VAZNIJ. So, according to them, the EQ of some guy working a betting window or some local hustler like Franc Ozbolt or Cinober is somehow more significant than the IQ of someone like Albert Einstein.
And honestly, it’ll keep going like this as long as American managers keep writing self-help books about life instead of focusing on what they actually do best: stealing.

Man, this is so well put. Seriously, kudos! 👍

Author, if you ask me, having that perspective is more of a blessing than a curse. 😉

😕 I wasn't even attacking her... I was simply trying to point out that some people might actually relate to her story (she asked if anyone had similar experiences, after all), but she just kept insisting there's nobody like that here and that the whole thing is pointless... It's quite bizarre to ask for input and then refuse to listen to what others have to say... you know, some people actually empathize with her

Rebecca Flores5 said:😕 I wasn't even attacking her... honestly, I was just trying to see if anyone could relate to what she was going through (I asked if anyone had similar experiences), but she kept insisting there aren't people like that here and that it makes no sense. It feels weird to ask for input and then shut everyone down when they actually empathize with you.

No one needs to feel sorry for me. My gift is mostly just too much sometimes. Like last night, after I posted, I just wished I could turn it all off. To just be a regular person in my relationship—you know, with all the flaws and mistakes and misunderstandings. And yeah, maybe I am stubborn about listening to others, but most people just post nonsense because they don't get it or simply refuse to believe it....

Look, I personally believe you, Jason Sanchez3. Don't get defensive just yet.

VioletStorm said:What you're talking about is plain old INTELLIGENCE.
The thing you're asking about—well, in modern times, since everyone wants to feel special even when they're clearly just following the herd, they cooked up this idea called EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE and stuffed their own CUNNING into it.
Basically, they pitted it against actual INTELLIGENCE and started claiming it was more important. So now, the EQ of some guy at a local bar or a gambler like Franc Ozbolt or Cinober is supposedly more vital than the IQ of someone like Albert Einstein.
And I guess it’ll stay that way as long as American managers keep writing those cheesy life coaching books instead of actually doing what they're good at: corporate greed.

Just an article for people who don't get it...

We actually use seven different types of intelligence every single day. Most people just rely on IQ tests to measure themselves, but when they do that, they mistake those scores for their absolute limit. The truth is, an IQ test only scratches the surface of what a person can really do.

Since there are so many different ways to be smart, knowing how to spot them in yourself makes it much easier to reach your full potential.

Psychologist Howard Gardner identified these 7 specific types:

1. VERBAL-LINGUISTIC INTELLIGENCE

2. MUSICAL INTELLIGENCE

3. LOGICAL-MATHEMATICAL INTELLIGENCE

4. VISUAL-SPATIAL INTELLIGENCE

5. BODILY-KINESTHETIC INTELLIGENCE

6. INTRAPERSONAL INTELLIGENCE (understanding yourself)

7. INTERPERSONAL INTELLIGENCE (understanding others)

Numbers 6 and 7 basically make up what we call emotional intelligence...

We studied a slightly different breakdown back in my psych classes, but it's pretty much the same thing.

Rebecca Flores5 said:Honestly, I believe you, Jason Sanchez3. Don't take it so personally right away.

I was just being real. Human stupidity and ignorance really get under my skin...

That's sweet of you to believe me... I wasn't trying to brag or anything. I just posted that while I was feeling low, and now I honestly regret it. I wish I could just delete the whole thing......

Jason Sanchez3 said:I just wrote down what I actually think—human stupidity and pure ignorance drive me crazy...

It’s nice of you to take my side... honestly, I didn't write that post to boost my own ego or anything. It was more of a moment of weakness, and now I'm sitting here feeling pretty crappy about it—I wish there was a button to just delete the whole thing......

Don't get worked up over nothing. If writing that helped you vent and feel better afterward, then it was worth it. That's why these forums exist anyway—it isn't some courtroom where everyone has to argue over who's right or wrong about every little thing.

Seriously, don't let it get to you. Just think about it—none of this drama matters once you're gone anyway.

It seems you have highly developed intrapersonal intelligence—you truly understand your own internal mechanics, as you put it. However, regarding your interpersonal side (that tendency where you claim you can't hurt anyone, or find yourself weeping over a news article because you sympathize so deeply), you might not actually be reflecting others' emotions. Instead, you may just be absorbing them and projecting them back as your own. Someone mentioned this in an old thread, and I have to agree... it’s often difficult to tell when you are genuinely "feeling" for someone else versus when you are simply inventing their emotions and manifesting them through yourself.
I don't know, I see it more as a gift than a flaw. The key is learning to distinguish "what is you" from "what belongs to someone else." If you constantly act based on the feelings of others, you risk becoming passive—avoiding conflict by fighting battles within yourself instead of standing your ground. Your "gift" is a real gift; you just need to learn how to master it.

Christian Doyle3 said:Don't get worked up over nothing. If you needed to vent to feel better, then you did the right thing. That's what this place is for—it's not about winning arguments or being "right."

Don't stress. Honestly, none of this matters in the long run!

😘 thanks

I've posted on other threads before, but none were ever this personal. Looking back at what I wrote... man, what was I thinking? 😉

But oh well, it doesn't matter... thanks for the support...

Jason Sanchez3 said:😘 thanks

I’ve started other threads before, but none of them felt this personal—not like this. Looking back at what I wrote now... I honestly don't know what I was thinking, like, where was my head at? 😉

But whatever, it doesn't really matter now... thanks for all the support.....

Girl, you're crazy—just write whatever you want. Nobody here actually knows who you are anyway, right? So just don't sweat what people think about your posts. As long as you're feeling okay, that's all that matters!

Christian Doyle3 said:You're crazy. Just write whatever you want. Nobody here knows who you are anyway, so who cares what people think about your posts? As long as you feel okay, that's all that matters.

I completely agree. And Jason Sanchez3, I know you aren't trying to brag, but I just wanted to say it's fine—even doctors deal with similar issues. Don't feel bad about posting; maybe you just needed to vent, and honestly, everyone should be able to speak their mind.

Rebecca Flores5 said:So, by all accounts, you've got that intrapersonal intelligence down pat (you really get how you tick, as you put it). But maybe when it comes to interpersonal stuff—your relationships with others (like how you say you can't bring yourself to hurt anyone, or how you sympathize so much you'll actually cry over a news article)—maybe you aren't reflecting their feelings so much as just absorbing them and projecting them as your own... someone mentioned this in a thread before and I agree... sometimes it's hard to tell if you're truly "feeling" for others or if you're just creating those emotions within yourself and acting them out...
I don't know, I see it more as a gift than a flaw. You just have to learn to distinguish "what is you" from "what belongs to someone else." If you're always reacting to other people's emotions, you might just be being passive because you don't want any conflict, which leaves you fighting with yourself. That "gift" really is a gift; you just need to learn how to steer it.

So well said. 🙂

"sometimes it's hard to tell if you're truly "feeling" for others or if you're just creating those emotions within yourself and acting them out..."
It's clear. Honestly, I often don't trust those feelings. I think of them as just noise in my head, so I do a quick mental check, push past the limit, and realize I was right all along... I haven't been wrong about it in years...
The weirdest part is that I still don't fully trust myself, because it doesn't seem realistic that I could feel someone else's vibe that intensely...

I guess it's something anyone could practice if they wanted to...

You clearly possess a unique talent, but your emotional intelligence is frankly nonexistent....

Jason Sanchez3 said:I don't even know if anyone is going to get this, let alone believe me. I honestly wonder if there are any other people out there like me. If there are, I need them—badly. I’m looking for some serious advice...
Even when I was just a kid, I felt everything. I could sense the whole world and everyone around me. I was never your typical American child—I didn't play by the rules and I certainly didn't follow the crowd. I never joined in when other kids were being mocked, either. I’ve always been different. Period.
I’ve finally realized just how sharp my intuition actually is. My intelligence is on another level—my brain connects dots and processes information way faster than most people around me. I can dissect a problem from every possible angle in an instant and pick out the most realistic solution before anyone else has even finished reading the prompt.
I didn't have much of a social circle growing up. I hated crowds. People never really took to me because I was too honest—and let’s face it, most people are terrified of the truth. I was withdrawn, shy, the quiet type. But everything changed when I hit sixteen. I decided right then that I was going to reinvent myself. Physically, mentally, personality-wise—everything. I wanted to be powerful. I wanted to be irresistible. It took an immense amount of work, but I did it. I rebuilt myself from the ground up into a complete person. Since that turning point, I haven't stopped watching people. I analyze them. I’ve taken that raw intuition I was born with and sharpened it into a weapon, perfecting my ability to read anyone instantly. Now, I've reached the critical turning point in my story...

I’ve become hyper-sensitive to everyone else's pain and emotions. I can feel the energy radiating off the person standing right next to me, and on top of that, I can read non-verbal cues perfectly. When I'm with someone—which applies to everyone, but especially my partner—I find it impossible to hurt them. I can't be selfish, I can't be irrational, and I can't say the wrong thing because I already know exactly how it's going to hit them. I can't afford to make mistakes because I am acutely aware of all their fears. I simply can't allow myself to be a flawed human being.😢 In such a short amount of time, I’ve come to know that person better than they even know themselves.

I’ve got a knack for reading people and pulling strings—it's a massive asset in the workplace. But don't get it twisted: I'm completely honest, and I rarely ever use that edge for anything shady.

Sometimes I’ll find myself tearing up over a newspaper article because the pain in the story hits me right in the gut. But then, switch gears, and I’m stone-cold indifferent to any kind of exaggeration or fake emotional displays. If it feels performative or unrealistic? I'm out. I have zero patience for that nonsense.

Sometimes I feel like a machine. Every single second, my brain is under siege—just constant bombardment from emotions and data. It’s non-stop analysis and processing. I find myself finishing people's sentences before they even get through them. It's exhausting. I remember everything. Every word someone said, every word I said, the exact spot where we were standing, and the specific emotional weight of the moment. I can still feel exactly how everyone reacted. It never stops.

It’s perfect sometimes, sure. But other times... I just want it all to stop. 😢 I feel like I’m actually going to lose my mind...

I actually want to hear what you all think. What are your experiences?

Trust me, you aren't the only one. Honestly, I’m at my breaking point with this crap. I can't even bring myself to talk to people anymore—whether it's someone I just met or an old acquaintance. They don't get it. They just look at me like I'm some kind of goddamn freak or an arrogant bastard. And I am nowhere near that. I'm done with the two-faced vultures. People say one thing to my face, but I can see the lies, the hiding, the ambiguity. I can feel when something doesn't line up with what they're presenting. It’s a strange thing, I have to admit. As they say, "ignorance is bliss." My life would be a hell of a lot easier if I just stayed ignorant. I used to think maybe I was just cracking under the pressure or something, but like you said, over the last few years, I've only been wrong once. It ain't a nice feeling, is it? It makes communicating so much harder, especially when I walk into a new place and struggle to find anyone I actually click with because of this. Are we all just losing our minds? I don't know. But I'll say this: I am very, VERY rarely wrong about these things. Sometimes I think I'd be better off being some low-IQ simpleton who only uses 10% of his brain just to walk around. Anyway, I get it. I'm going to do some digging online to see if there's anything out there about this. I'm genuinely curious. If not, I'll just pop a Xanax...🤣

Kenneth Jackson5 said:You’ve definitely got a knack for this, but your emotional intelligence could use some work...

The tests I took four years ago showed something totally different...
And honestly, I wasn't even close to where I am now back then...

Haha, who knows... maybe he's right...

Still learning from my mistakes... but I'm much stronger now and handling things way better...

Blue said:Honestly, after scrolling through a few posts on this sub, I actually had to double-check the name of this forum. Based on the absolute insanity I just read, I was positive it was titled "Psychiatric Ward."

🤣

Jason Sanchez3 said:measurements from four years ago indicated something entirely different...
but back then, I hadn't grown nearly this much...

well, who knows... maybe I just don't have it all figured out yet...

I am still learning from my mistakes... but I am significantly stronger now and far more capable of navigating all of this...

That is commendable. I hope you realize that learning doesn't stop until the day you die (and perhaps even after, in some other form of existence). Our own blunders are our greatest teachers; we can only claim to have truly learned a lesson once we stop repeating those same mistakes...
The truth is, I am quite poor at judging others. I tend to assume everyone is decent until they prove otherwise, and even then, my instinct is to try and understand them rather than pass judgment...

"After scrolling through a few posts on this sub, I actually had to double-check the name of this forum. Based on what I’ve been reading, I was positive it was titled 'Psychiatry.'"

🤣 🤣 My patient ID over at San Francisco is 1679. Do we know each other from there?🤣 🤣

Check out this link. I think some of you guys on this thread might actually find it interesting—it was pretty eye-opening for me, honestly.

http://www.livescience.com/humanbiol...d_readers.html