Is life actually easier if you're good-looking?

Douglas Brown4 said:Look. That happens to you. What can I say in the reverse scenario?
I’m messaging this woman, and she’s flooding me with texts, absolutely loves me. She says I’m getting under her skin. We share the same interests.
I even told her that if we met, she shouldn't expect too much—that I'm not some tall, dark, and handsome guy, just a short blond. She said she wasn't expecting anything special and that it didn't matter to her.
She asks about my expectations. So, I tell her the only thing I don't expect is to have a female friend to whom I am not physically attractive. I told her there was no way I would agree to that.
Everything seems fine. She keeps insisting.
We meet up. At 8 in the morning, she sends me a message saying there wasn't a spark, even though she had a really great time talking about all sorts of things. Then she goes silent. Nothing. Naturally, I told her goodbye immediately. And she was exactly my type.
I’ve had experiences like this before. When I didn't say goodbye right away, the relationship would just cool off, making it harder to stay in touch until everything suddenly stopped.

You see, it's people like me—those who aren't considered desirable—who suffer these disappointments. You can fascinate someone however much you want, even sincerely, without lying or bluffing, but if they don't see the physical component, everything else falls apart. That's why I say people are superficial and that looks are the only thing that matters. Everything else is just seasoning. It really should be the other way around.

Regarding that business about being uglier or heavier, that’s a very clumsy way to phrase a compliment. They want to tell you that you're pretty as well as smart. I guess I don't know why it bothers you so much. Personally, I would gladly trade intelligence for beauty. And please don't take this post as an expression of frustration. Sure, it hurt me deeply, and I won't ever let anyone do that to me again, but not enough to shake my self-confidence.

Douglas Brown4 said:Look. That happens to you. What can I say in the reverse scenario?
I’m messaging this woman, and she’s flooding me with texts, absolutely loves me. She says I’m getting under her skin. We share the same interests.
I even told her that if we met, she shouldn't expect too much—that I'm not some tall, dark, and handsome guy, just a short blond. She said she wasn't expecting anything special and that it didn't matter to her.
She asks about my expectations. So, I tell her the only thing I don't expect is to have a female friend to whom I am not physically attractive. I told her there was no way I would agree to that.
Everything seems fine. She keeps insisting.
We meet up. At 8 in the morning, she sends me a message saying there wasn't a spark, even though she had a really great time talking about all sorts of things. Then she goes silent. Nothing. Naturally, I told her goodbye immediately. And she was exactly my type.
I’ve had experiences like this before. When I didn't say goodbye right away, the relationship would just cool off, making it harder to stay in touch until everything suddenly stopped.

You see, it's people like me—those who aren't considered desirable—who suffer these disappointments. You can fascinate someone however much you want, even sincerely, without lying or bluffing, but if they don't see the physical component, everything else falls apart. That's why I say people are superficial and that looks are the only thing that matters. Everything else is just seasoning. It really should be the other way around.

Regarding that business about being uglier or heavier, that’s a very clumsy way to phrase a compliment. They want to tell you that you're pretty as well as smart. I guess I don't know why it bothers you so much. Personally, I would gladly trade intelligence for beauty. And please don't take this post as an expression of frustration. Sure, it hurt me deeply, and I won't ever let anyone do that to me again, but not enough to shake my self-confidence.

velvetmarlin24 said:I couldn't find an existing thread for this, so I figured I'd just start one.

I was wondering if being an attractive person—regardless of gender—actually makes things easier when it comes to landing a job or hitting your big life goals.

briskowl85 said:Spot on, I'm right there with you on that one.

I think we all go through those phases where it feels like everyone else has it figured out and life is just easy for them. 🙂 The reason this stuff is actually getting to me is basically because:
First off, I recently crushed a 100% written exam all on my own, only to have my professor look me dead in the eye during the oral part and accuse me of cheating. 😠
Second, I had this group of three friends I hung out with every single day, and we had a blast, until I found out they spent a good chunk of their time gossiping about "what they'd do to me." 🙄
And third, most other girls are pretty much cold toward me—rarely an exception—no matter how hard I try to be friendly and open.
I guess it turns out that everything truly does come with its own set of pros and cons. 😉

Charles Grant7 said:1) Honestly, anyone would look twice at someone getting a 100% on a written test. It’s not a common occurrence, especially if it hasn't happened to that person before. And besides, what did she mean by looking at you strangely? My professor used to give me weird looks just because I had long hair, so I just ignored it.
2) Men would hit on anyone. If you happen to be attractive, that's just a given.
3) Maybe you're actually annoying people with being overly polite. Personally, I can't stand people I barely know who act excessively sweet. It feels fake, like they're desperately searching for a friend.

None of what you wrote convinces me that you're particularly hot, let alone as passionate as you claim to be. You might want to consider that the issue lies with your behavior rather than your looks.

restlesshound27 said:Beauty is super fleeting. Like, first off, 90% or more of what we see doesn't even hit that "ideal" standard shown in the media... it’s all just industry, ads, and massiveeee big business.
And from my experience, honestly? What’s going on inside your head matters way more than looks in every single part of life. Sure, people notice how you look and you might get more attention or some random advances, but if you’re a total mess—or just plain dumb—you aren't gonna get very far... Same goes if you're just average or even unattractive. I'm not talking about extreme outliers here, just regular folks. If you're smart and have your head on straight, you can have a beautiful, really great life... It's all internal, trust me. It's about who you are as a person, whether you're being true to yourself, accepting who you are, and if you're putting out those good vibes..

Charles Grant7 said:I honestly have such a soft spot for this kind of nonsense. You only think he’s attractive because you’ve spent years watching him play those specific characters on screen; you're falling for the persona, not the actual man.

Douglas Brown4 said:I've also been attracted to plenty of idiots in photos before. It’s different in person. I doubt she'd even fall for Gerard if she saw him face to face without knowing who he was.

Brian Parker6 said:Nah, you don't get it at all. When I brought him up, I was talking about his look—he’s a bit of a mess, sure, but physically? He's got it.😉

Robert Diaz7 said:I think I remember reading somewhere that according to some study, the happiest and most successful people out there were actually those who scored between a 1 and a 5 on a scale of 10.
and honestly, that just makes sense to me.

I feel like looks are kind of a double-edged sword, you know? It really just comes down to how much you lean into it, because it can definitely give you that initial boost to get ahead in life and stuff.

But personally, I don't think it has much to do with actual happiness—at least not enough to make being good-looking a shortcut to feeling fulfilled.
it’s way easier to be happy if you've just got your head on straight...

Brian Parker6 said:Nice way to frame a compliment—so they're "idiots" just because they didn't fall for you in person? If it's about being in the same room, then looks aren't even the main issue anymore, right?

vividpanther46 said:A few years back, I came across a study suggesting that infants and young children are naturally drawn to more attractive people.
Even though I wouldn't exactly call myself a beauty—though I'd argue my intellect more than makes up for it 😬 😛—kids and babies seem perfectly fine with me, even if I haven't quite mastered the art of interacting with them 😕.

That said, I've come to realize that a simple smile can open quite a few doors 🙂 Unfortunately, it’s taken me this long to actually start putting that to use 😛

But, I've realized that a smile opens a lot of doors 🙂 Unfortunately, I only started using that to my advantage recently 😛

Brian Parker6 said:Look, I’m just saying—I pointed out someone who most people would call ugly or off-putting, but to me? They’re attractive. A lot of those "conventionally beautiful" types don't even register on my radar. 😉

Douglas Brown4 said:That kind of stuff is probably written by American sociologists and psychologists who don't have a clue about how things actually work outside of their surveys, statistics, and "samples."
First off, I think kids don't care about beauty; they care about pleasantness. They can tell when someone is genuinely kind and loving, and they tend to dislike those cold types who are way too serious or preoccupied with things outside of the child's world.
They're actually quite perceptive; they'll even like those detached types, provided the person has a good heart.
Usually, they don't go for the "beauties" because they sense selfishness or arrogance there.

For instance, I remember being very young, maybe under five. I definitely wasn't noticing looks—I didn't really care what anyone looked like—but I was very interested in how they treated me.

But, I've realized that a smile opens a lot of doors 🙂 Unfortunately, I only started using that to my advantage recently 😛

True, a smile is important, but it shouldn't be fake. Even if someone doesn't have teeth, a smile can still be charming.

And yeah, kids absolutely adore me, and I'm certainly no model, nor do I smile all the time.

velvetmarlin24 said:I couldn't find an existing thread for this, so I figured I'd just start one.

I was wondering if being an attractive person—regardless of gender—actually makes things easier when it comes to landing a job or hitting your big life goals.

vividpanther46 said:Well, at least I still have my teeth.😬 vividpanther46😉 (just kidding, obviously) 🙂 )

Honestly, I haven't the slightest clue if I'm attractive or not. 😕 How do you actually figure that out? Or am I even attractive to begin with? I’m being serious here. I’ve had boyfriends and everything, but I can never count on a guy actually making a move on me first.😳 I guess I'm just not attractive after all.🙄 I’m probably a disaster.😛