How to get over an awkward moment?

Larry Hall54 said:I don't think a single thing, let alone act on it.
A thought just drifts by: "You have better things to do," and then I move on.
Why bother stressing? Why waste my energy on something I can't even change? No thanks. It doesn't matter how or why; we're all human, right? Isn't "to err is human" a thing?
Nobody is worth my sanity—or my health, for that matter—especially over something trivial.
Especially if someone starts acting tough, like, "Come on, I'll knock you out" or "You're gonna get slapped"...
Who cares? You just say: "If you want to swing, there's a wall right there, and you've got a head, so go ahead."
And then you forget about it.🙂

😍
Are you really the only person on the planet who can just "forget about it" like that?
Give me a break. It’s not that easy. We aren't robots (though wouldn't it be nice to switch off the feeling when we're hurt? Just for a moment).
That attitude might work on some random idiot passing by... but we aren't talking about them.

Harold Adams5 said:😍
Are you really the only person on the planet who thinks that works? Just forgetting about it?
Give me a break. It’s not that simple. We aren't robots (though I guess we'd love to stop feeling things when we're hurt... but only then.)
That approach of yours might work on some random idiot passing by, but we aren't talking about them here.

He isn't the only one. 😍

The whole point is that you "don't feel" even when things are "really great" or "really wonderful" too. 🙂

imago2007 said:Do you guys actually use specific techniques—like, do you actively try to "forget," deconstruct, or just diminish the impact of those annoying little daily hassles?

Take a petty argument with a coworker at the office, or some jerk in a crowded Chicago subway who nearly knocks you over and then has the nerve to yell at *you*. You know deep down you didn't do anything wrong, maybe you even handled it perfectly by staying quiet, but the stress still sits there in your gut.

Do you have any methods for breaking down these minor everyday stresses or irritations?

How do you actually find your calm again?

I'd assume if you can master that, you could apply the same logic to the massive, life-altering stuff too.

You offset the weight of those daily annoyances by piling on enough good moments to drown them out!

Casey Jones9 said:He isn't the only one... 😍

The real kicker is that you don't even "feel" anything when things are supposedly "wonderful" or "perfect." 🙂

🙄

Give me a break with these fairy tales... 🤣

stormycobra90 said:🙄

Give me a break with those fairy tales... 🤣

What makes them fairy tales? 🙂

You could at least explain why you think that. 😉

And you haven't the slightest clue why you think those are just fairy tales?

Casey Jones9 said:You don't even realize why you think they're just fairy tales...

I guess? Oh...
I know... 🙂
I know you feel everything—the good, the bad, the pleasant, and the uncomfortable... 🙄 😍 😛

Well, obviously. 🙄
I mean, how else would it be?

That’s exactly why I put "feel" in quotes. 🙂

Casey Jones9 said:Well, obviously. 🙄
I mean, what else would you expect?

That’s why I put "don't feel" in quotes in the first place... 🙂

And regarding that bit—"he isn't the only one"—since there were no quotes there, your comment comes across as an extension of his point... whereas using quotes could just be interpreted as a lack of understanding regarding the terms being used, given that you don't feel 🙄 🙂
😉

stormycobra90 said:And about that part: "he isn't the only one" wasn't in quotes, so what you said comes across as an extension of his point... and using quotes could imply you don't actually understand the terms being quoted since you don't feel 🙄 🙂
😉

aha OK, 😁

I see how that could have been misread.

So, the "he isn't the only one" bit refers to forgetting unpleasant experiences because people just stop paying attention to them. 🙂

The rest is about how unpleasant experiences get "dulled," which eventually dulls pleasant ones too. But I guess that doesn't mean you stop feeling the bad stuff; it just means, over time, the intensity slowly fades. 🙂

Casey Jones9 said:Right, okay 😁

I see how that could have been misread.

To clarify—when I said "he isn't the only one," I was referring to the way we forget unpleasant experiences by simply ignoring them. 🙂

The rest of it is about the "numbing" effect of those negative experiences—how they eventually dull your ability to feel the good ones. It doesn't mean you stop feeling the bad stuff entirely; it just means, over time, the intensity starts to fade... 🙂

but then you just numb everything... completely... 😬
right?

stormycobra90 said:but then you just numb everything out... completely... 😬
right?

Yeah. But I think you're kind of misinterpreting how this works... 😉
It's not like you "numb" yourself and suddenly feel nothing. 😬

Instead, you start feeling this slow, steady sense of inner peace—this sort of mellow contentment and a connection to everyone else (regardless of how they treat you).

And it's not just about people, either.

That "connection" doesn't have anything to do with "emotions."🙂

Casey Jones9 said:Yeah. But I think you’re missing the point here... 😉
It isn't about becoming "numb" or losing all feeling. 😬

What actually happens is this slow build of an internal, sort of lukewarm sense of peace—a feeling of closeness with others, regardless of how they treat you.

And it isn't just limited to people.

That "closeness"... it has nothing to do with "emotions." 🙂

Come on, then... elaborate a bit... 😉

stormycobra90 said:Come on, walk me through that... 😉

It’s hard to put into words. 🙂
It isn't just some vague "miracle" or whatever. 😬
You really have to experience it for yourself...
Maybe you already have.

Harold Adams5 said:😍
Are you really the only person on the planet who can pull that off? Just decide to forget about it?
Come on, seriously? It doesn't work like that. We aren't robots—though, honestly, there are times when not feeling the sting when someone hurts you would be a nice change of pace... but only then.
That approach might work on some random idiot passing by in the street, but we aren't talking about them here.

It works for me. And I’m definitely not alone in that; I know plenty of people who do the same. When I get those threatening letters from some fringe cultists or people trying to intimidate me one way or another, do you really think I lose sleep over it? If anyone actually has something on me, let them try. I don't have the bandwidth to deal with that kind of nonsense; I've got much more important things to do.
When I'm genuinely hurt emotionally, sure, I'll spend maybe two days in a bit of a funk, but then everything goes back to normal because I just bury myself in work and push it all to the back of my mind... 🙂

Larry Hall54

..." so I spent two days completely out of it .."
That's what we're talking about. When you're actually hurt..
Trying to pretend it won't last two days doesn't work. You can't just snap your fingers and make the pain
disappear. Feelings don't care about what your brain thinks..
So, how do you all lie to yourselves? How do you try to convince yourself it won't take two days to recover?

stormycobra90 said:What am I even saying? Uh...
I know... 🙂
I know you’re feeling everything from great to terrible, and everything in between... 🙄 😍 😛

👍
But if you aren't feeling any of that, then just admit what you're taking... or at least prove you're actually alive.😍

Harold Adams5 said:Larry Hall54

..." so I'm out of commission for two days .."
that's what we're getting at here. When you're actually hurt...
to avoid being sidelined for those two days... denial doesn't work. It's not like you can just snap your fingers and make the
feelings disappear... emotions aren't something you can just switch off with your brain...
so how do you all trick yourselves into believing it won't last two days?

I stay busy.
Look, the last time I was emotionally rattled was a long time ago.
Think about it this way: Imagine you have this great friend, someone you hang out with almost every single day. And then they steal from you. You know it was them—you saw it, or you found your stuff exactly where you knew they’d stashed it.
Would that hurt you emotionally? Most people would. For me, I just move on. I suppress the experience, and that's that. I focus on something else. Especially since my job doesn't allow me to let my emotions show. So, I've learned how to compartmentalize. That's really all there is to it...🙂

Larry Hall54 said:I've got stuff going on.
Look, the last time I actually felt emotionally wounded was ages ago.
Take this scenario, for instance: You have a close friend, someone you hang out with almost every single day. Then, they steal from you. You know it was them—you saw it, or you found the items exactly where you knew they’d be.
Would that hurt your feelings? Most people would. Me? I just forgot about it. I push the experience down and move on. That's it. I'm focused on other things. Especially since my job doesn't exactly allow me to let my emotions fly. So, I learned how to isolate myself. Simple as that.🙂

😬
That wouldn't get an emotional rise out of me either. Maybe "materially," though.😲
And that doesn't hurt. At least not for me. I am not my wallet. I'm not emotionally attached to it.
(My debit card!😍 🤣 I carry that close to my heart, but it's not *in* my heart.
Also, it feels like your definition of being "hurt" is a bit vague and overly broad.

So, how exactly does a "best friend" manage to rob you blind?
It sounds to me like you just misread the situation entirely...
Or maybe YOU were actually the bad friend here? You didn't see he needed it, so you didn't step up or lend him a hand. And there’s more to it than that. Why are you trying to bury what happened? Is it because facing the truth means having to face yourself? (Though let's be honest, most people never even make it that far. We're always the hardest on ourselves.)