Why am I crying?

I’ve been searching for an explanation for ages, yet I’m still completely lost.

Ever since I was little, I cried constantly, though my parents were always there to hug me and soothe me... looking back, most of it was over nothing.
When I grew up and started school, the tears didn't stop, even for trivial things. My dad would occasionally lose his cool and yell at me to just stop crying, which, predictably, only made me cry harder.
Now that I'm in college, the frequent crying hasn't changed... sometimes it's because I feel incapable of handling a task, and other times it's just the slightest hiccup that sets me off.

You might assume I'm some fragile, quiet, or introverted type, but quite the opposite... I am incredibly determined—once I start something, I finish it (regardless of how many times I burst into tears)—and I'm stubborn as hell, usually the loudest person in the room.

The crying itself isn't necessarily the issue; what really bothers me is that unlike others who can endure stress at work and vent when they get home, I don't have that luxury. If someone I love says something hurtful, I break down instantly. If I fail an exam, I'm in tears. If I struggle to understand a concept, the tears start flowing... and they won't stop.🙂
And if anyone tries to comfort me, the tears just pour out even faster... I can only actually calm down once I'm alone.

Is there a logical explanation for this, or am I just a spoiled brat? 😢
Am I destined to be this sensitive for the rest of my life?

What is the best way to handle this? I realize I'm crying over nonsense, but I simply cannot control the tears.

A low threshold for bullshit
Look, maybe you’re just being spoiled, but honestly, I don't think that's necessarily the case here.
It might actually do you some good to sign up for a local MMA gym or a boxing club or something along those lines; it could help you wrap your head around the fact that just because someone stands their ground against you, it doesn't mean they're out to get you.
Or, you could just go through the grind of some intense training sessions to bump up your tolerance levels and finally grasp what sports are actually about—dealing with effort, grit, and the sheer difficulty of things.
🙂

There’s logic to that, but I’ve already done some martial arts training 🤣

I don't cry when someone lands a punch; I cry when someone hits me where it actually hurts—mentally...

Honestly, even as a kid, I was always looking for a fight, whether it was with girls or guys...🤣 I’ve never been the type to act all delicate or fragile, you know? I look perfectly normal to me.😍

I honestly believe
🙂
I wasn't even talking about the physical grind of the game, more like the psychological side of things—you know, that specific sting you get when you lose a match because of some unfair call or when you just completely fail to hit the goals you set for yourself.
If you're looking for something that functions more as a "mental" sport, I’d suggest giving archery a shot.
It’s physically demanding, which is actually great for people who spend all day hunched over a desk (your back will definitely thank you later), but the real kicker is that it’s entirely built on your own mental state and personal growth. Basically, every single mistake is 100% on you, and let me tell you, that can be way more frustrating than having someone else mess with your head.

The only issue is that I genuinely don't have the bandwidth for any kind of athletics right now...

Do you honestly believe that is the sole solution?🤔

Come on, throw out a few more options so I can actually evaluate them...😬

lol
Look, that’s just my take on the solution, if you can even call it that
I’m obviously no therapist, so I’m definitely not going to sit here and pretend I have some professional expertise to offer
If I happen to know anything at all about how things work, it’s purely because I—or maybe someone in my circle—actually went out there and lived through it
Anyway, you can't really go wrong with sports; it does wonders for your social life and keeps your overall health from falling apart
🙂
Just start asking questions
😁

hollowtrucker77 said:that’s only because I, or someone I know, actually managed to pull something off.

So I’m not the only one?! You were a total failure too???🙂 🤣

Well, if there aren't any more brilliant insights coming my way, I’ll just go practice rugby... sounds more productive.😍

I wasn't being mellow, I was being bitter
🙂
At some point along the line, I finally realized that kind of energy isn't actually doing anyone any favors, so I just walked away from it
Nowadays, the only people who can get under my skin are those close to me—the ones who actually carry weight in my life
But honestly, if you ask me, that's really just a difference in how it shows up on the surface, whereas the root cause remains exactly the same

I used to be exactly like that, honestly, but as time went on and I actually gained some life experience, it just sort of evaporated... I can't even put my finger on how it happened. I guess I just finally realized there wasn't much point in holding onto it alldiv>

rapidowl81 said:I've been looking for an explanation for ages, but I still don't really get it.

Ever since I was little, I cried quite a bit—my parents were always there to give me a hug and comfort me... mostly over silly things, I guess.
When I grew up and started school, I was still crying over nonsense; sometimes my dad would lose his cool and yell at me to stop crying right then, but that usually just made me cry even more.
Now that I'm in college, I still find myself tearing up pretty often... sometimes because I feel like I can't handle something, or maybe just because I hit the first obstacle in my way.

You might think I'm some weak, quiet, or shy person, but actually... it's the opposite. I'm pretty determined—once I start something, I finish it (even if I cry a million times)—and I'm super stubborn and usually the loudest one in the group.

The crying itself isn't necessarily the issue, but what bothers me most is that unlike other people who can deal with work stress and then come home to vent, I can't really do that. If someone close to me says something hurtful, I burst into tears instantly; if I fail a test, I cry immediately; if I don't understand something, the tears start... and it just goes on and on.🙂
And if someone tries to comfort me, the tears just flow even harder... I only really calm down once I've gotten away from everyone.

Is there some logical reason for this, or am I just a total mama's girl? 😢
Am I stuck whimpering like this for the rest of my life?

What's the best move here? I know I'm crying over trivial stuff, but I still can't seem to control the tears...

It's just how you process stress... specifically those little stressors. 😬
For instance, I handle stress by laughing. 🤣
Like, if I were back in high school and got detention for something stupid, I'd probably just laugh about it along with my whole class. But if you got detention, you'd likely end up in tears. It's just a different way of coping, I guess.

However, if you want to get rid of it, you need a certain level of self-control. When you feel the urge to cry, you try with everything you've got to hold it back. And then, if you have to, you go home and tear the room apart when nobody's watching. 😁

It's kind of like trying to quit biting your nails... in theory, anyway. 😬

I am exactly the same way! I’m incredibly loud, full of life, and pretty damn decisive—but man, am I a crybaby... I swear, I end up tearing up during almost every movie, and honestly, even over the smallest little things. But you know what? I’ve finally made peace with it. It doesn't bother me at all. I truly believe that crying is healthy... plus, I laugh a lot too, which is just as vital for the soul. My partner, however, isn't exactly thrilled about it, so I do try to keep it under control sometimes...
And yeah, I’ll be the first to admit there's probably some truth to the idea that it stems from being spoiled... I definitely have a bit of a pampered streak in me...

Crying is just one way you express who you are as an emotional person.
You can actually see these personality differences from the very beginning—take my own daughters, who are 1 and 3 years old, for example. We’re all wired differently!
It sounds like you’re just more sensitive; you have a lower threshold for being hurt and you feel everything happening around you much more intensely. For some people, seeing a Golden Retriever puppy is enough to move them, while someone else might be deeply shaken by a news report about the aftermath of a battle in Memphis. Or even just watching a stream flow. All of this is perfectly normal.
Plus, that sensitivity threshold shifts as we go through life. As we get older, we tend to process things with more understanding, though that isn't always the case for everyone.
For me personally, ever since I had kids, I’ve become so much more sensitive to heavy issues like drug abuse, pedophilia, or child abuse. At the exact same time, though, I’ve become much more immune to people being "unfair" or rude to me directly.
And honestly, why would you even want to change? I think crying is a perfectly healthy way to let off steam.
It actually reminds me of this Spanish film where a guy was so head-over-heels in love that he would constantly sing the blues; he’d cry while he sang, and she would catch his tears in a little bottle. Man, those Spanish people 😕

steelviper6 said:If you got hit by gravel, you'd be crying. It’s just another way to manage stress.

It isn't about wanting to cry; I actually did.🤣
Luckily, they weren't happening all the time...😬

Quavo:

However, getting over it requires actual self-control. When you feel the tears coming, you try with everything you have to suppress them. Then, if necessary, you go home and tear the room apart while nobody is watching. 😁

True, I attempt that, but it is completely useless...🙄

Something happens... and I find myself telling myself, "Don't cry, don't cry, think about something else, just think about something else..." yet my eyes fill up anyway... and then the floodgates open.😍

Taylor Wells68 said:I'm exactly the same way! Loud, cheerful, and decisive—but also a total crybaby. I tear up at almost every movie or even the smallest little thing... but I've made my peace with it. It doesn't bother me. Crying is healthy, and I laugh a lot too, which is just as important. My partner finds it annoying, though, so I try to hold it back sometimes...
And yeah, it probably does stem from being spoiled... I'll admit, I am a bit spoiled...

I don't cry at movies; I only cry when I feel insecure, hurt, or cornered and don't know how to respond...

My partner doesn't mind; he accepted that this is just part of who I am...

I don't consider myself spoiled, actually. Quite the contrary. My parents raised me with clear boundaries; they knew exactly when to say yes and when to say no. They certainly didn't cater to my every whim...

My mother once told me she was a crybaby too. She said after her first two years of marriage, she realized it was pointless and just stopped.🤣

Nathan Anderson44 said:That boundary shifts as we age because we gain more understanding, though even that isn't a guarantee.

I hope🙂

Quavo:

I just remembered this old movie where a guy was so in love he sang nothing but the blues; he'd cry while singing, and she’d catch his tears in a little vial. Typical dramatic stuff.😕

😵Should I start singing, or just focus on collecting tears in a bottle?😁

rapidowl81 said:it happens to me too... I'll be sitting there telling myself, 'don't cry, just don't cry, think about something else, anything else...' but then the tears just start flowing anyway... like little rivers😍

One of my godmothers is exactly the same way—she sees those kids on the news or reports about famine in Africa and she just breaks down immediately.

rapidowl81 said:if anyone tries to comfort me, the tears just start spraying even harder... I don't actually settle down until I've managed to get away from everyone...
is there some kind of logical explanation here, or am I just a total mama's boy? 😢
am I really going to be whimpering like this for the rest of my life?
what's the best way to handle this? I know I'm crying over nothing, but I still can't seem to get the dam to stop breaking...

🙂 Even if you do, it’s not the worst thing in the world. I used to worry that people would walk away from me because of it, and honestly, looking back, they probably did—but even now, in my 30s, I still break down like a kid. To someone else, the reason might seem trivial, but to me, it's enough to set everything off.
I guess we're just built that way, so don't sweat it too much. Even when the tears do come, they tend to get more selective as you get older, basically deciding for themselves who is actually worth the waterworks and who isn't.
There were times when pure rage would wipe me out just as easily as sadness does.
God didn't give us tears for no reason.😉 😘

nataniel said:🙂 ........ I thought they would leave me behind, and to be honest, in some ways they have—but I’m still over 30 and crying like a toddler. To someone else, it might seem trivial, but for me, it’s enough to break me......

Same here. 🍿

silvermason16 said:Exactly. 🍿

Well, looks like I'm not the only one feeling this way. 🎉

I’ve been dealing with the exact same thing, though honestly, it’s been a while since I actually broke down and cried. I can't help but think it stems from my childhood—whenever my old man would start losing his temper and shouting at us, I’d just immediately cave and start sobbing. It seems like that pattern just got hardwired into me, you know? Even though I've moved past most of it, it hasn't completely vanished😉It isn't anything dangerous, really🙂it'll pass