Sexual Dysfunction Discussions

Luckily, things worked out with the leadership... I hope.

And why exactly are you hoping?

If he doesn't suit your needs, just find someone else... there's absolutely no need to start making up diagnoses for him. 😉

briskjackal5 said:Look, if you’re planning on sticking by him and you actually think he wants to stick by you, and you're fully aware of what you're typing here, just ask yourself one thing—would *you* be down for sex out in the wild, maybe in an elevator, or wherever else you say "any chance I get"?
Some women are built that way, some aren't. Some crave it constantly, some like it occasionally, and some don't want it at all... But seriously, where have you guys been living, a convent? Have you really never met a man in your entire lives until age twenty-five, or are you just terrified of the harsh reality that men actually enjoy sex?? 😁

- Joe -

The issue isn't about finding sex in every possible opportunity; it's about the pornography.
In my last relationship, I used to fantasize about trying new, exciting places, but everything always ended up being strictly limited to the bedroom. With him, it's the complete opposite. He fulfills every single one of my fantasies: elevators, parks, the beach... I love sex just as much as he does, but what's actually eating away at me is his insatiable obsession with porn...

cosmicridge5 said:But honestly... 😁 I mean, if they’re still acting up in that library right now, then they seriously have a problem

Then we have a real problem

restlesspanther1 said:Why even bother hoping?

If he isn't what you need, just find someone else... there's really no point in making up diagnoses to justify staying. 😉

Honestly, that’s the one thing that keeps me stuck on him. In almost every other way, we’re soulmates... it's just this one issue. I was more interested in finding a solution—like, how can I actually help him? Or, if I listen to what crimsongull20 was saying, maybe the real work is helping myself. Maybe I need to check my own ego and stop feeling so "threatened"... though, if I'm being honest, it feels more like being rejected...

trailer said:is he actually addicted to sex, or is it something else entirely?
Let's break this down for a second...😉

If someone is just hooked on sex, honestly, I wouldn't care that much... According to some studies, they might even live longer and stay in better shape.😉
It’s the other stuff that gets to me... If someone is having sex regularly but then spends hours scrolling through garbage—not even actual movies, but amateur clips, spy cams, and that kind of filth—is that even normal? Like I asked before:
At what point does watching porn stop being entertainment and start being an addiction? There has to be a line somewhere...

Hey Joe, how would you actually feel if your girlfriend started watching porn and masturbating to it right after you two were done? Like, would that actually turn you on for you? And she’s totally obsessed with sex too... I mean... come on, don't give me that...

John Price said:If it was just about him being hooked on sex, I honestly wouldn't care that much... according to some studies, those guys supposedly live longer and stay in better shape...😉
But it's the other stuff that really gets to me... If someone is having sex every single day but can still spend hours scrolling through porn—and I don't mean movies, I mean amateur clips, spy cams, and all that... is that even normal? Like I’ve asked before:
Where do we draw the line between enjoying porn as entertainment and actually being addicted? Is there even a boundary?

I actually stumbled onto this conversation the other day, and apparently, there's another girl dealing with the EXACT same issue with her boyfriend. So, if you're feeling alone in this, trust me, you aren't.🙂
I don't know, it just feels wrong to me... if he's got that kind of urge, you could always just do that together, right? Instead of him sitting there watching videos and taking care of himself while she's right there... I mean, honestly, that feels a little twisted...😕

John Price said:At what point does watching porn stop being just entertainment and start becoming an addiction? Is there actually a line?

That’s why I was asking you to be more specific about where that threshold lies.😁 I mean, is someone spending most of their day on it to the point where they can't function normally? What does that actually look like?😁

cosmicridge5 said:That’s exactly why I was asking you to walk me through what the actual threshold is...😁 Like, does it actually take up most of your day and mess with your daily routine? What does that look like in practice?😁

I mean, it’s obviously fine, but once he finally lies down, it’s 😈

cosmicridge5 said:That’s why I was begging you to explain just how far this actually goes... 😁 Is he really tied up with it most of the day, like it's actually interfering with his daily life? How does that even look in practice? 😁

A few months back, when he had internet access right in his room, it basically consumed his entire day. I can't tell you exactly how many hours we're talking about. crimsongull20 used to laugh about how we didn't have any Wi-Fi in the house because of it, but honestly, it’s the only way to keep things somewhat under control.
Now that the internet is cut off, he just heads down to the local public library to stay "up to date," I guess???
It’s the same story at work—he grabs any chance he can get to go online. As for whether it's "interfering with his life"... hmm. Is it really an interference, or is it more like a liability if his boss actually caught on to what he's doing and decided to fire him on the spot?

John Price said:How much is it actually interfering with his daily life? I mean, is the interference just him fudging the numbers so he doesn't get fired the second his boss realizes what's going on?

Not really 😬 I guess most people on this forum would be out of a job if their bosses found out they were spending more time here than actually working 😁 😁 But then again, we're all pretty dependent on 'this' 😳

Jokes aside, if he's glued to adult sites all day and grabbing every chance to look, then yeah, that's pretty pathetic. I get it, and I think it would bother me too 😁

But you don't fix that by just cutting off the home internet 😁, you have to address the root cause, not just the symptom...

Anyway, have you guys actually talked about this? Like, without the hysteria, just a friendly chat? What’s his take on the whole situation? 🙂

John Price said:A few months ago, when he had internet in his room, he basically occupied the place most of the day. Not sure exactly how many hours... crimsongull20 used to laugh about us not having internet in the apartment because of it, but honestly, it’s the only thing that actually works.

Personally, I think a better preventative measure would be gouging both his eyes out.

cosmicridge5 said:... did you guys actually talk about it? You know, without the whole hysterical meltdown thing, just being friendly? What’s his actual take on all this? 🙂

We talked. No hysterics involved. 😎
His main point is that none of this is actually "real," so he doesn't see any reason to change anything that he actually enjoys. He’s all about living an "authentic life" and all that crap. As for his job, it isn't strictly about the interest rates, but honestly, it's just a massive pain in the ass trying to lay out those facts to him...😳
Anyway, thanks to everyone for the input!

crimsongull20 said:If you really want to be proactive about prevention, maybe just gouge both his eyes out.

thumbs up: 🤣

Sarah Davis7 said:hey Joe, how would you feel if your girlfriend started watching porn and masturbating after you left? like, would that turn you on... especially if she just absolutely loves sex...

lol.............
What a ridiculous question!
I mean, I don't think I've heard anything stupider in a long time! 😁

- Joe -

John Price said:A few months ago, when he actually had internet in his room, he’d basically occupy the connection all day long. I honestly don't know exactly how many hours we're talking about, but it was constant. Maybe crimsongull20 was laughing at us because we couldn't use the Wi-Fi in the rest of the house, but hey, it was kind of the only way to keep things under control!
So now that the internet is gone, he's heading down to the local public library just to stay "up to date"???

Look, instead of making life difficult for him, why not just let him connect to the Wi-Fi from home? 😁

- Joe -

John Price said:A few months back, when he had internet in his room, he’d basically occupy the connection all day. Not sure exactly how many hours, but it was constant. crimsongull20 used to laugh about how we couldn't get online in the rest of the house because of him, but honestly, it was the only thing that actually worked as a deterrent.
Now that the internet is gone, he just heads to the local public library to stay "up to date," right???
Same deal at work—he grabs any chance he can get. How much is this actually messing with his life? Or is "messing with his life" just a way of saying he'd be fired instantly if his boss realized what he was doing?

Your guy is definitely out there. But without him wanting to quit on his own, you're stuck. Complaining won't do anything. It’s like people living with smokers; you can nag them to quit all day, but nothing happens until they decide to stop or their lungs give out. Nothing. The only real lever might be getting him fired. Maybe. 😁

briskjackal5 said:Look, don't lecture him then. Just let the guy connect to the home internet.😁

I'm not holding him back, honestly. It’ll probably be set up soon enough. We just moved recently...

John Price said:It’s not even about the actual sex all the time, it’s more about the porn aspect.
In my last relationship, I used to daydream about trying out new, exciting spots, but honestly, everything just ended up being in the bedroom. He is the complete opposite! He actually makes all those fantasies happen—elevators, parks, the beach... I love sex just as much as he does, but what really gets to me is this endless, insatiable craving he has for pornography...

Maybe you could film yourself, or even a video of the two of you? Let him enjoy it. I guess everyone has that one thing they can't get enough of.
Just, you know, be super careful that those videos stay with you so they don't leak out somewhere.😁

- Joe -

jadetinker85 said:Man, that guy you're talking about is seriously out there. But honestly, if he doesn't actually want to quit on his own, there isn't a prayer of it happening.

But why would he even want to stop?
I mean, compared to smoking, that seems way more harmless, I guess.

If it were me, I know exactly which one I'd pick between a girl who's a total sex addict and a girl who can't stop smoking cigarettes...😁

- Steve -