Wedding cakes and desserts

I’m totally with Daniel Martin12 on this one—having a pound of something on the table for an 8 to 10 person dinner is fine. But even then, you'll probably have more than half left over... though you really need enough on the table to make it look like an actual meal!

Man, I had about 150 people over.
We ended up with maybe 2-3 lbs left at my place—most of it just sat there.
Same thing at my wife's house, about 2-3 lbs that barely got touched.
At the restaurant, we had something like 40 lbs left... honestly, I don't even know how much of that we brought back home.

I'm totally with you on this one! It’s just such a massive waste of food and money

We did the exact same thing—we had about two pounds per table (each table sat maybe 7 to 9 people) and then there was just... wow. A lot left over. But whatever, we ended up hauling it all home and to the office... everything was gone within two days. 🙂
At his mom's place, we had an extra four or five pounds, and then another eight or nine at my parents' house—since everyone tended to gather at our place—and since there was still plenty left, my dad just took the leftovers to the local church.

Betty Foster8 said:I'm totally with you on this one! It’s just such a massive waste of food and money

It's obviously a huge waste.
I don't want people thinking you have to go broke just to throw a wedding, but you definitely shouldn't go overboard either.
I think when you're dealing with big events—like weddings or massive parties—it's so easy to lose track of how much stuff you actually need.
My parents used to tell me, for example:
"What's the point of planning for maybe a pound of food per person? You should plan for two or three!"—but then, in reality, people end up eating way more than that anyway.
Thank goodness I managed to talk them out of buying those extra trays of cookies. It wasn't even about the cash; it was just the thought of having all that leftovers left over with nowhere to put them, only to end up tossing everything in the trash.

So you’ve got 28 kg at home
he’s got 28 kg over there
that makes 56 kg total
If you two actually manage to polish off 16 kg—which, let's be real, isn't happening—you'd still be sitting on 40 kg
And honestly? You'll probably end up giving away about 10 kg just out of politeness
Basically, by the day after the wedding, you guys will have 50 kg of dessert left... assuming you haven't already handed out gift baskets full of sweets to every single guest at the reception
It might not play out exactly like that, but it's a very real possibility.
Look, if you actually have a plan for 50 kg of cake once the party's over, then go ahead and order it—otherwise, you're just going to end up with a dumpster full of sugar.
I'm not telling you what to do, just a little food for thought before you place that order.

A quick tip for the rest of the wedding party:
When you're budgeting for desserts, feel free to aim for about 10 to 15 ounces per person. You'll still have plenty left over to bring into the office or share with the neighbors.
Most of you are probably being pressured by your parents right now—they're obsessed with ordering massive amounts because they're convinced it won't be enough (trust me, I've been there)—but try to talk them down, even if it's an uphill battle.
Now, all the local bakeries are probably going to hate me for saying this, since they'd much rather sell you as much as possible.

Daniel Martin12: I completely get where you're coming from. I told you already—I know exactly how many cupcakes I need for my own crowd (just for us and our guests at home). As for the rest, my mother and mother-in-law already sat down and crunched the numbers to figure out how much they'll need... 🤷

Arthur Thompson11 said:Daniel Martin12: I completely get where you're coming from. I told you already—I know exactly how many cupcakes I need for my own crowd (just for us and our guests at home). As for the rest, my mother and mother-in-law already sat down and crunched the numbers to figure out how much they'll need... 🤷

Mine and hers were doing the exact same thing—I just stood there looking pale!
But hey, whatever. Everyone can order what they want; I'm just here to give my two cents on how much dessert we actually need for the wedding day itself.

I really appreciate all the advice—every bit of it helps more than you know. I’m fully aware that I'm overdoing it with the cookies, and there’s no doubt we'll end up with a mountain of leftovers. As I mentioned before, we still have two months until we have to make the final call on how many pounds of food to order.

Just go talk to them. Ask where they’re planning on putting the cookies. Try to convince them that people usually want more than just sweets with their snacks—it's common sense, really. Suggest a smaller, more reasonable amount and I bet you can make it happen.

Arthur Thompson11 said:I really appreciate all the advice—every bit of it helps more than you know. I’m fully aware that I'm overdoing it with the cookies, and there’s no doubt we'll end up with a mountain of leftovers. As I mentioned before, we still have two months until we have to make the final call on how many pounds of food to order.

My gut is telling me something isn't adding up here—though maybe I'm just overthinking it.
If you’ve got 63 lbs total—that's the 43 lbs for the guest favors plus the 20 lbs sitting on the tables—for 170 guests...
And then you have another 56 lbs at home? That means you'd need at least 100 more people who weren't even at the wedding to eat through those leftovers.

So, are you doing individual favor boxes for everyone, or one box per couple?

She thinks she’s going to hand out cookies to the neighbors—and maybe folks who didn't even make the wedding guest list, if I'm reading this right. Honestly, I doubt she intends to give them to that exact crowd. But still, when you factor in the store-bought stuff she'll probably pick up, 120 pounds of leftovers for the next day is just overkill. Even for her parents and her in-laws, it's way too much. It looks like Arthur Thompson11 has plenty of sweets as it is, and significantly less 😁

Everyone gets their own little cookie box—each one should hold about 8.5 ounces.
Edit: Nathan Cox25
👍👍👍
I’ve already stated exactly what I need,
Let them place whatever orders they want and do whatever they please with those cookies. 🤷

Honestly, my logic is pretty simple—you don't need more dessert at home than what you’re serving at the venue.
If you aren't counting gift baskets—because those are separate—and you end up with about 40 pounds of sweets at the restaurant for 170 guests staying roughly 8 hours, then buying an extra 100 pounds to take home is just overkill. People are only sticking around for an hour or two and will probably only grab one little treat. Plus, to actually use up 100 pounds, you'd need dozens of people who weren't even at the wedding—unless you plan on handing out 10-pound bags to every neighbor on the block, which is just silly.
When I treated the people I wanted to celebrate—mainly my coworkers at the office—who didn't make it to the wedding, I didn't just bring sweets; I brought deli trays and drinks too. That way, everyone gets a little bit of everything.

Maybe ask Arthur Thompson11 one more time where they actually plan on distributing all that extra food.

Arthur Thompson11, if your mother and mother-in-law are insisting on an excessive amount of dessert and paying for it themselves, why bother stressing? I dealt with something similar. I wanted a few treats, but they pushed for much more—not quite at your scale, but certainly more than I had envisioned—just to have enough for the day after the wedding and to hand out to neighbors, the neighbor’s neighbor, some distant cousin, and so on. Since my husband and I were essentially funding the wedding ourselves, I simply told them they could order as much as they wanted, provided they covered the bill. And that was that. I handled the cakes and the main wedding cake at the venue, while they took charge of this mountain of sweets meant for gifting. In the end, nothing was left over. We handed them out until the last crumb was gone. Honestly, if those two didn't view it as throwing their money away, I wasn't going to lose sleep over it either.

I'm right there with you, Bryan Gomez90—it sounds like we're dealing with pretty much the same situation. Honestly, they can pass out whatever they want to whoever they feel like; let them order as much as they need.

Ladies, please don't go overboard with the cookies... I personally cut back as much as possible (neither my husband nor I actually had any at home, and we didn't pass them around either), yet we still ended up with so many leftovers that we were able to give some to our neighbors and the crew at the office...

At the end of the day, you've got a massive platter sitting there—maybe a couple of pounds worth—so there's really no point in overdoing it. Between all the other food available, those cookies usually end up being the thing people eat the least...

You’ve already seen my "math" on this—just 20 round tables, each piled high with pounds of pastries.

Arthur Thompson11 said:You’ve already seen my "math" on this—just 20 round tables, each piled high with pounds of pastries.

Trust me, you'll end up walking away with at least fifteen pounds of leftovers...

And if she wants to stay, what am I supposed to do about it? 🤷
Since this is my first time getting married, I'm still figuring things out—next time around, we'll know exactly how much food to prepare for the guests and for the house 😂🤣