mistyseal11
Regular
250 messages
joined Aug 2007
SAJB 🙂
Next time you get pulled over by the LAPD, try some of these moves out on them:
1. If the cop starts talking to you, just act like you can't hear a thing.
2. Ask him if he’ll let you take a look at his service weapon.
3. If he won't, and asks why you're being weird, tell him you just want to see if it's bigger than yours.
4. Go in for a handshake and just keep touching him.
5. Ask him where on earth he found such a crazy outfit.
6. Ask him if he'd let you borrow the costume.
7. Get his full name and then just call him by his first name for the rest of the encounter.
8. Pretend you're gay and ask him if he wants to go out sometime.
9. If he says no, start bawling your eyes out right there.
10. If he actually says yes, report him to his sergeant immediately.
11. If they want to search you and tell you to spread 'em, just tell them you aren't interested.
12. Tell him straight up that you have a thing for guys in uniform.
13. Try bribing him with candy.
20. Try saying this all at once with him: "Good evening officer, here's my license and registration, please."
21. If he hands you something to sign, scratch your butt first and then grab the pen from his hand.
22. If he hands you a pen, hide it, take it apart, and pull out the ink cartridge.
23. Ask him if he has a daughter, and if he does, mention that you think you recognize his last name.
24. Make him explain everything twice.
25. Mumble everything he says back to him under your breath.
26. Just talk to yourself.
27. Try to sell him your car.
28. Ask him if he’ll sell you his car.
29. If they’re taking you down to the station, ask if you can ride in the front seat.
30. If you're stuck in the back, try patting him on the head through the partition.
31. Before you guys even move, make sure everyone is buckled up.
32. Grab a can of beer and crack it open before he even reaches your car.
33. Have him hold your beer while you dig through your wallet for your papers.
34. Tell him at least twice that there’s absolutely no reason to check the trunk.
35. Ask him if he’s one of the Small Town, USA guys and where the rest of the band is hiding.
36. Ask him if he’s ever killed anyone.
37. If he says yeah, ask him if that happened while he was on the clock.
38. As you're leaving, give him a big smile and say, "Give my love to your wife and kids!"