Have you ever experienced bullying at work or school?

There's a poll running right now over on CNN.com

As of July 5th, 2005 at 8:10 PM, here's how it stands:

***
Yes, multiple times 333 votes 51.39 %
No 271 votes 41.82 %
Only once 44 votes 6.79 %
***

For those of you who actually dealt with this firsthand... how did you handle it?

And do you think it's just standard practice to expect this kind of thing in an American country where nothing seems to function the way it’s supposed to?
😕

I think we really need a clear definition for what counts as abuse.

So, you're the one behind this.
The person doing the abusing doesn't even realize they're doing it...
Abuse is any pattern of disrespectful behavior toward those around you—stuff that isn't just a momentary reaction to stress, isn't followed by an actual apology, and becomes chronic.

Willard,
you once admitted in a different thread that you used to abuse kids at school.

Why did you do that?
😳
Remind us then. What exactly were you doing to them?

Crook said:So, Willard, you're the one on the other side here.
The abuser doesn't see their own behavior as abuse...
Abuse is any chronic pattern of disrespect toward people around you—it's not just reacting to temporary stress, and it's not something followed by an apology. It's constant.

Willard,
you once mentioned in a different thread that you used to bully kids at school,

why did you do that?
😳
Remind us, what exactly did you do to them?

I'm not on the other side.

That might be a definition of abuse, but it's not how everyone experiences it, nor is it how everyone defines it.

If someone feels they're being abused, they might as well just end it all rather than deal with this world.🙄

I'll use one of your favorite lines: "I am not the subject of this thread."😁

Robert Torres9 said:Anyone who experiences that as abuse should just end it all rather than live in this world.🙄

You’re probably ashamed, and frankly, you should be.
😳

Anyway, I was watching this Discovery DVD about human evolution on a morning news program once, and there was one specific line that really stuck with me.
To paraphrase—
humans evolved by weeding out aggressors through the implementation of laws and various behavioral regulation mechanisms.
Without those systems, we simply wouldn't have survived.

So, there's my take on abusers and abuse.
🙂

Crook said:You should probably be embarrassed. Honestly, you should.
😳

Anyway, I remember this one line from a Discovery DVD about human evolution that really stuck with me.
If I were to paraphrase it—
humans evolved by weeding out aggression through the creation of laws and various social regulation mechanisms...
without those systems, we simply wouldn't have survived.

So, there's your take on abusers and abuse.
🙂

Here’s a thought straight from my own head.

One day, when all this progress and evolution leads us straight into a ditch and nature decides to take back control, we primitives will be back in charge. It'll be survival of the fittest again, just like nature intended.

And you want to know where those regulations, laws, and prohibitions actually come from?

I honestly think you covered everything in your last post. If you’re smart enough to get it, there's really nothing left to say.

Bullying has come up here before, maybe four or five months ago, and I think someone already started a thread about workplace harassment over in the career section.

But the idea that we had to purge "aggressive types by passing laws and implementing behavioral regulations" just because "without those mechanisms, people simply wouldn't survive" doesn't hold water for me. Aggression is one of the most prominent human traits; frankly, the aggressors are often the ones who stand out most in any society. Unfortunately. They might not be throwing punches, but they have plenty of other ways to exert dominance.

Since we're talking about quotes, here’s another one I find myself agreeing with more than I'd like:
"Violence was, and perhaps still is, a prerequisite for human development. The human species conquers the world through aggression and greed. (…) Why do some men brutally abuse women and children? It is a regrettable peculiarity of the human race. Among other higher mammals, males fight each other for mates, but rarely mistreat the females or their offspring."
Yvonne Knibiehler, Sexuality Through History

I don't see why anyone is acting surprised by the abuse. It’s practically a standard operating procedure for most private companies in America... and I’ve experienced it firsthand 😢
. When you can't find a decent job, people feel forced to tolerate just about anything. I made my exit from that place quickly, but I know people who have been stuck there for years, physically breaking down under the constant pressure... but they stay because they're terrified of losing their livelihood.

Robert Torres9 said:Let me throw a thought at you.

One day, when all this "progress" and evolution finally drives us straight into a brick wall and nature decides to take back control, it’ll be us primitives running the show again. Back to the law of the jungle—survival of the fittest. That's how it works. That's how it's always been.

Exactly. Evolution proves that nothing actually moves forward; everything just cycles back to its raw, primal state eventually.
🙄 😵

Robert Torres9 said:Ever wonder where all those regulations, laws, and bans actually come from?

It comes from right here:
- You have something very important.
- What?
- You care. No matter what happens to anyone, even to you. You actually look at the whole picture. It's a blessing.
- People tell me I'm just high-strung.
- If there weren't anxious people in the world, we'd be tearing each other apart.
the film The Misfits, starring Marilyn Monroe
🙂

There's a universal law of karma.
If you act aggressive or toxic toward others, it's coming right back at you. Every single time.
🙏 👋

ironcyclist78 said:There was already a thread about bullying on this subforum maybe 4 or 5 months back, and if I remember correctly, someone opened a discussion about workplace harassment over in "Jobs and Career" too.

But this idea that we had to purge "aggressive types by passing laws and implementing various behavioral regulations" because "without those mechanisms, people simply wouldn't survive"—I’m not buying it. Aggression is one of the most prominent human traits, period. Aggressive people are often the ones who stand out most in any society. Sadly. Maybe they aren't all physically beating people down, but they have plenty of other ways to force their will on others.

Since we're talking quotes, here's another one I actually agree with more:
"Violence has been, and perhaps still is, a prerequisite for human development. The human species conquers the world; it is aggressive and predatory. (...) Why do some men brutally abuse women and children? It is a regrettable peculiarity of the human race. Among other higher mammals, males fight each other for females, but rarely mistreat them or their offspring."
Yvonne Knibiehler, Sexuality Through History

Fine.
But the topic here also covers school abuse.

Abuse is incredibly common in America—
and the surveys prove it.
And the recent pedophilia scandals show that America has developed an entire spectrum of abuse that has seeped into every single institution.

Is there any way to fix it?

Or should we just accept it as a normal occurrence in a country where everything is broken and nobody gives a damn about making things better from nothing?
😕

Jeffrey Hayes6 said:I don't get why everyone is acting shocked by the abuse. Honestly? It’s practically standard practice at just about any private firm in America. I’ve dealt with it myself more than once. 😢
Finding a decent job is such a nightmare right now that these companies think they can get away with anything. I bailed on my last place fast, but I know people who have been stuck in that same office for years, literally getting sick from the constant harassment... but they won't leave because they're terrified of losing their paycheck.

😢
The only way out is to either start your own business or just pack up and move out of this country entirely.
😳

cro Fag said:Fine,
but we're talking about school bullying here.

Bullying is incredibly common in America—
and the surveys back it up.
Plus, the recent pedophilia scandals suggest that the US has developed an entire spectrum of abuse, creeping its way into every single institution.

Is there any solution?

Or should we just accept this as a standard feature of a broken country where nothing works and nobody bothers to fix things from scratch?
😕

I don't get the constant need to trash your own country.
Sure, plenty of things are broken—it’s primitive, the rule of law is non-existent, crime is rising... all true enough.
But why spit on your own home?
America hasn't "developed" some unique palette of abuse—that's nonsense. By that logic, Belgians invented pedophilia, Americans perfected school shootings, Italians specialize in racketeering, and Jews in usury.
What exactly is our "unique contribution" to the problem?

cro Fag said:😢
In my view, there are really only two paths left: you either become a self-employed entrepreneur, or you pack up and move out of this country entirely.
😳

Exactly. The laws here are incredibly weak—if you can even call them that. For the most part, they just serve as a way for those at the top to kick those beneath them. It’s a predictable cycle.😉

cro Fag said:Fair enough,
but we're talking about school bullying here.

Bullying is incredibly common in America—
the surveys back it up.
Plus, recent pedophilia scandals show that the issue has spread through almost every major American institution.

Is there any way to fix this?

Or do we just accept it as business as usual in a country where nothing works and nobody bothers to fix things when they go south?
😕

Like I said, threads on bullying and pedophilia were opened pretty recently. I don't mind another one, but a lot of interesting points have already been made over there. Good luck finding new conclusions; I've already said my piece.

That said, reading through some of these comments (especially that quote from Discoverij), it got me thinking about general societal aggression and how much we tolerate it—and how we essentially "get used" to it. Maybe we can tackle that another time.

Good luck!

Back when we were discussing the idea of a gay directory, you expressed some pretty serious concerns about how people on such a list might be treated—did those fears actually end up coming true?

Gary Hernandez6 said:I just don't get why people won't stop trashing their own country.
Sure, plenty of things are broken. It's primitive here, the rule of law is a joke, crime is spiking... all of that is true.
But why spit on your own soil?
America hasn't exactly pioneered any specific brand of dysfunction. What nonsense is that? By that logic, you'd say Belgians invented pedophilia, Americans invented school shootings, Italians perfected extortion, or Jews specialized in usury.
What is our unique contribution to misery?

First off, calling out reality isn't "spitting" on the country; it's just stating the facts. Besides, if I were actually spitting on this place, believe me, everyone would know it and I wouldn't be holding back one bit.
😂

Second,
it’s blindingly obvious that a lot of people—and I mean a massive number of them—can't handle honest, blunt talk about our problems.
Because of this collective dive into narcissism and running away from accountability, we end up with these insane rates of alcoholism and violence across the nation.
🙂

nimblewalker58 said:When we were discussing the gay directory, you seemed worried about how people on those lists might be treated. Did that actually happen?

Look, this isn't even a "gay topic,"
😳

but I’m not going to dodge the question here.
From everything I’ve read on American LGBTQ+ sites and what I've heard from people in various online chats, there have definitely been cases of people getting fired or facing harassment from their own parents.

I’ve felt that tension myself. I remember one manager at my old job joking around, asking if he could get a "list of all the queers" just so he'd know "who the gays are in the office." It wasn't funny. It was uncomfortable as hell.
Meanwhile, right here on this forum, these self-proclaimed "non-homophobes" keep insisting that nobody actually cares who is gay. Sure, I’d love to believe that, but reality tells a different story. It's clear that the actual situation is the exact opposite of the typical local propaganda used to pretend these problems don't exist.

cro Fag said:First off, this isn't some act of disrespecting my own country—it’s just calling things like they are. Besides, if I were actually spitting on this nation, believe me, everyone would know it, and I wouldn't be wasting my breath on trivialities.
😂

And second,
it's clear that certain people—and there are plenty of them—are deeply bothered by anyone being honest about our failings.
It's that mass pivot toward narcissism and dodging accountability that fuels our skyrocketing rates of alcoholism and violence across the US.
🙂

That society is getting sicker? True enough... but you've got your cause and effect all tangled up.

Gary Hernandez6 said:Society is getting sicker, true... you just swapped the premises...

Is that actually true?
If you look at the state of things here in the US,
it used to be totally standard to get jumped or beaten up at work, especially if you were a young guy or an intern.
It was also just considered "fine" and perfectly normal for some clerk or a driver to just scream in your face and insult you.

Verbal and physical violence used to be way more common. Nowadays, society is actually cleaning itself up a bit—becoming more humane and civilized, at least compared to how things used to be.
😳