Personal loan ads: Legit or scam?

Hey everyone... I've been seeing a lot of chatter lately about these loan offers popping up on classified sites. It seems like most of the talk centers around those shady policies where people end up losing a massive amount of cash...
Since there's such a huge demand for loans right now—I wouldn't even call it "high," more like desperate—could someone maybe take a look at this and tell me what's wrong with it? And how on earth could this actually work through a Bank without checking a Credit Bureau or requiring permanent employment status?
Retirees—up to age 82/within 24 hours. Unsecured loans up to $225,000/12 years/3 days. Personal loans up to $50,000/5 years/24 hours. LOANS for owners/co-owners of LLCs and Sole Proprietorships! LOANS for people on maternity leave! Mortgages without credit checks. Washington, D.C. and the ocean! LOANS secured by leaving your car at the Bus Station./Immediate payout! ON CARDS up to $75,000/5 years/Immediate payout! Mastercard, American Express, and Maestro cards! Important! We do not require Life Insurance policies! Just one month of permanent employment required! Current free offer of your possible loan models! Fastest realization of agreed loan models! Blacklists, Debt and Credit issues, or being on a Credit Bureau list aren't a problem! Monthly payments can be up to 1/2 of your income! Pay via salary, pension, standing order, or general check! No guarantors, deposits, or hidden fees! Loan payout exclusively at the Bank. All over the US! Call or text your number. I will call you back ASAP. Sincerely.

Then there's this company with its own website, which claims among other things that they hold an authorization to perform credit brokerage activities issued by the U.S. Department of the Treasury... but then later in the text they say Unsecured bank cash loans in dollars, payout within 48 hours!!!! DEBT UP TO 70% OF INCOME, NO GUARANTORS OR CO-SIGNERS REQUIRED!!! Call with confidence!!!!

Thanks in advance if anyone has some smart insight to share...😕

Let’s be real: those ads always promise the moon. They list every perfect condition imaginable and claim they can fix just about any issue you have.
In the real world, though? You aren't getting a loan if your credit history is a mess, you work for some tiny mom-and-pop shop, or you're stuck on a temporary contract.

And honestly, if you see an ad boasting about instant payouts via credit cards or using your car as collateral, stay far away. Those outfits definitely don't hold a license from the U.S. Department of the Treasury.
If you want to deal with actual professionals who are legally authorized to operate, check this list here:

Susan Lewis19 said:Hey everyone... I've been seeing a lot of chatter lately about these loan offers popping up on classified sites. It seems like most of the talk centers around those shady policies where people end up losing a massive amount of cash...
Since there's such a huge demand for loans right now—I wouldn't even call it "high," more like desperate—could someone maybe take a look at this and tell me what's wrong with it? And how on earth could this actually work through a Bank without checking a Credit Bureau or requiring permanent employment status?
Retirees—up to age 82/within 24 hours. Unsecured loans up to $225,000/12 years/3 days. Personal loans up to $50,000/5 years/24 hours. LOANS for owners/co-owners of LLCs and Sole Proprietorships! LOANS for people on maternity leave! Mortgages without credit checks. Washington, D.C. and the ocean! LOANS secured by leaving your car at the Bus Station./Immediate payout! ON CARDS up to $75,000/5 years/Immediate payout! Mastercard, American Express, and Maestro cards! Important! We do not require Life Insurance policies! Just one month of permanent employment required! Current free offer of your possible loan models! Fastest realization of agreed loan models! Blacklists, Debt and Credit issues, or being on a Credit Bureau list aren't a problem! Monthly payments can be up to 1/2 of your income! Pay via salary, pension, standing order, or general check! No guarantors, deposits, or hidden fees! Loan payout exclusively at the Bank. All over the US! Call or text your number. I will call you back ASAP. Sincerely.

Then there's this company with its own website, which claims among other things that they hold an authorization to perform credit brokerage activities issued by the U.S. Department of the Treasury... but then later in the text they say Unsecured bank cash loans in dollars, payout within 48 hours!!!! DEBT UP TO 70% OF INCOME, NO GUARANTORS OR CO-SIGNERS REQUIRED!!! Call with confidence!!!!

Thanks in advance if anyone has some smart insight to share...😕

In America, there are over thirty banks, and every single one has its own terms and various lending models. Some of what's listed here definitely aren't actual banking offers. This is essentially just an ad highlighting specific hooks to grab clients; it isn't a concrete offer for a customer. If you're interested in checking your creditworthiness and decide to reach out, your first question should be the name of the agency the advisor works for. If they won't give it to you right away, or if instead of an office visit they ask to meet for "coffee," definitely contact someone else.
Good luck