OCD: General Discussion Thread

Mark Perez2 said:Look, I’m not saying I scrub my hands with a toothbrush. I just wash up after I eat. I don't go around tossing my cash into the washing machine like Adrian Monk. 🙂 And I wouldn't call myself obsessively tidy, either. I'm just... within the realm of normal. But the lack of symmetry? That absolutely kills me. I find myself hunting for imbalances in everything. The thing is, the world isn't perfect and it never will be. Like that guy above said, you can find asymmetry in anything if you look at it from the right angle.
Ziggy, tell me, when that urge for symmetry hits you, how do you calm down enough to stop? Or does the medication you're on prevent that feeling from taking hold in the first place?
And for you two, James Allen6 and northernmarlin79—does this stuff actually interfere with your day-to-day life? Like, you aren't seeing a psychiatrist or anything? You mentioned before that you actually kind of enjoy it. Even if scrubbing your hands with a brush isn't exactly "normal." Then again, who am I to define what normal is? 😁

It’s not even like I’m actively hunting for symmetry... it’s more like once I spot it, I just *have* to fix it if I can, you know? Like, if a picture on the wall is crooked, I gotta straighten it. Or my laptop... the edge of the computer has to be perfectly parallel to the edge of my desk, otherwise it's just... ugh.

On the flip side, I just don't have the mental energy for my glasses. I can't do anything about them—well, I could, but honestly, it takes way too much effort and time, and I'm just not feeling it. So I just ignore them. I'll just shove them on my face, and the second they come off, they go straight back in the case. I know they're lopsided, but I just choose to ignore it... totally ignore it.

And I definitely don't look in the mirror when I've got them on... 😬 😁

Andrew Stewart2 said:It’s not even like I’m actively hunting for symmetry... it’s more like once I spot it, I just *have* to fix it if I can, you know? Like, if a picture on the wall is crooked, I gotta straighten it. Or my laptop... the edge of the computer has to be perfectly parallel to the edge of my desk, otherwise it's just... ugh.

On the flip side, I just don't have the mental energy for my glasses. I can't do anything about them—well, I could, but honestly, it takes way too much effort and time, and I'm just not feeling it. So I just ignore them. I'll just shove them on my face, and the second they come off, they go straight back in the case. I know they're lopsided, but I just choose to ignore it... totally ignore it.

And I definitely don't look in the mirror when I've got them on... 😬 😁

Doesn't it ever just hit you during the day that your glasses are lopsided on your head? Doesn't that drive you crazy? 😁
Honestly, I'm the exact same way. I try my best to push the thought aside and convince myself there's nothing I can do about it. But every once in a while, it hits me—that sudden realization of, "How can I be wearing something so asymmetrical?" It's annoying. But I try to just accept it, since the whole world is pretty asymmetrical anyway.🙂
By the way, you didn't mention how your therapy is going or how those meds you're taking are treating you. Just curious...

Paul Thomas9 said:So, I’ve been looking over the symptoms... and honestly, it feels like I'm checking almost every box for both OCD and schizophrenia...

Look, like I said before, you actually need to do something about this. You aren't going to heal yourself just by scrolling through an online forum.🙂

Mark Perez2 said:Doesn't it ever just hit you during the day that your glasses are lopsided on your head? Doesn't that drive you crazy? 😁
Honestly, I'm the exact same way. I try my best to push the thought aside and convince myself there's nothing I can do about it. But every once in a while, it hits me—that sudden realization of, "How can I be wearing something so asymmetrical?" It's annoying. But I try to just accept it, since the whole world is pretty asymmetrical anyway.🙂
By the way, you didn't mention how your therapy is going or how those meds you're taking are treating you. Just curious...

Man, I’m hyper-aware of it constantly... honestly, I’m always fidgeting with them. But my little trick is that I really only pull them out when I'm watching TV or at the movie theater, or maybe when I'm driving. So there are plenty of days where they don't even touch my nose. And when they *are* on, I'm always adjusting them because I can feel exactly how wonky they are... just constantly pushing them around trying to make them look somewhat symmetrical... 😁

I've been taking Melatonin for about six months now, though not every single day—maybe every other day or every third day. I mostly use it to help me drift off. In the beginning, it actually helped a lot, really relaxed me, but after a while, it felt like it almost stopped working. It still helps me get sleepy, though. But yeah, I also have those sleep aids (like Ambien) on hand too.

I didn't end up going to psychotherapy at Mayo Clinic... my first encounter with them was such an awful experience that I decided it just wasn't worth wasting my time there.

Anyway, I'm feeling way better than I was at the end of last year, and this whole thing with symmetry, washing hands, and stuff like that... I feel like it's just a reflection of someone's character... 🙂

What about you, though? Is asymmetry the only thing that gets under your skin?

You gave some solid advice to people, and trust me, I've been lurking on this forum (specifically this section) for a long time and it didn't make things any better for me... ☕

Andrew Stewart2 said:Man, I’m hyper-aware of it constantly... honestly, I’m always fidgeting with them. But my little trick is that I really only pull them out when I'm watching TV or at the movie theater, or maybe when I'm driving. So there are plenty of days where they don't even touch my nose. And when they *are* on, I'm always adjusting them because I can feel exactly how wonky they are... just constantly pushing them around trying to make them look somewhat symmetrical... 😁

I've been taking Melatonin for about six months now, though not every single day—maybe every other day or every third day. I mostly use it to help me drift off. In the beginning, it actually helped a lot, really relaxed me, but after a while, it felt like it almost stopped working. It still helps me get sleepy, though. But yeah, I also have those sleep aids (like Ambien) on hand too.

I didn't end up going to psychotherapy at Mayo Clinic... my first encounter with them was such an awful experience that I decided it just wasn't worth wasting my time there.

Anyway, I'm feeling way better than I was at the end of last year, and this whole thing with symmetry, washing hands, and stuff like that... I feel like it's just a reflection of someone's character... 🙂

What about you, though? Is asymmetry the only thing that gets under your skin?

You gave some solid advice to people, and trust me, I've been lurking on this forum (specifically this section) for a long time and it didn't make things any better for me... ☕

And here I am "treating" myself by reading forums. Seems like it isn't doing much good, if you ask me. Besides, this guy has a much more serious situation—he claims he has OCD and schizophrenia—so naturally, a forum isn't going to fix that.
So you aren't seeing a psychiatrist at all, just taking meds... but didn't you have to see a psychiatrist to get those prescriptions? You can't just pick them up off the street.
Yeah, the asymmetry thing drives me crazy, searching for flaws and imbalances in everything. It’s not like my monitor or keyboard have to be perfectly aligned with the desk, but rather stuff like your example with the glasses. I’ll catch myself noticing that my shirt is crooked, or my pants, or my shoes, or my watch. And it’s not just that it’s asymmetrical; everything has to be flawless, and I find fault in everything. It drives me insane sometimes—on certain days. Other times, I can just let it go like you do with your glasses. So, I have good days and bad days.

Well, what were you like last year then, if you're feeling better now? Obviously, you don't need Helix as much if you're doing better and realize it isn't helping anymore, only making you sleepy. If that's the case, you shouldn't need the sleep aids either. 😁

So, I get the feeling you think seeing a shrink is some kind of horror movie scenario. It’s really not. Honestly, I actually managed to throw my therapist totally off her game during our very first session.

Sometimes I start feeling super on edge if I go three or four days without taking my Xanax, so I’m still relying on that. As for sleep... well, sometimes it's Xanax, sometimes it's Ambien. It just depends on what I have left in the cabinet (and man, I have soooo much Xanax... 😁 😁 ).

That symmetry stuff you mentioned? Zoloft would probably work wonders for that—it's a really solid med. There are just two catches: you have to take it consistently for a long time before it even kicks in (like, at least three months), and it might be overkill for whatever you're dealing with... since your issues don't seem *that* heavy, especially if you aren't struggling with depression.

But hey, apparently it's one of the best things out there for OCD. Personally, though? I don't take it.

I was in a really dark place, super depressed, toward the end of last year... honestly, I was pretty close to ending it all a few times. I'm in a much better spot now, but, I gotta be real, I'm the one who pulled myself out of it.

Just thought I’d stir the pot here for a second.
How’s everyone holding up? Staying sane?
I’m trying, I guess... but it hasn't been easy. When the boredom starts hitting me hard, my mind just starts racing uncontrollably. I have zero motivation for anything. Honestly, I just want to sleep all day....
I really should go out and grab a new bikini, but even that feels like too much effort because I’ll just end up nitpicking everything anyway....
That's become my new strategy—just stop buying things altogether since I can't help but hunt for flaws in everything. I've reached a point where I can find a problem with absolutely anything. It’s the same way Andrew Stewart2 gets hung up on asymmetry. 😠
Maybe I'll try picking up a book. I used to be a huge reader back in high school. But lately, I can't focus on anything; I find myself reading the same sentence two or three times over. Eventually, I just give up because it's so frustrating, even though I know I could work on it. A few years ago, I had this massive archive of articles saved from CNN—until one day I finally hit delete. That was probably one of the smartest moves I've ever made. I'm worried I'll fall back into those old habits, getting stuck in that "I have to finish this" mindset where I keep rereading everything just to make sure I understood it. 😲 And then I'll decide it's time for a change and move on to something else entirely.....
Sigh......

I don't even get why everyone is constantly hunting for "flaws"... I mean, sure, asymmetry totally bugs me when it comes to stuff like posters or wall art, but that's pretty much where my obsession ends.
I actually found out from a long-time friend recently that she used to think I actually disliked her or something, mostly because I’d head over to her place a million times and immediately start putting everything back exactly where it belonged... like, if I left a ring from a glass on the table, I’d wipe it away right away, just little things like that. At first, I just burst out laughing, but then it hit me that it's just how I am, because even today, whenever someone touches something of mine, I instinctively put it right back in its place...
Hey everyone!

So... I finally have some clarity on what’s actually going on with me. Initially, I tried to self-diagnose my own anxiety—which, obviously, was a brilliant move on my part—but after sitting through several appointments with a psychiatrist, I’ve been given a diagnosis of a mix of OCD, phobias, and depression. It’s a bit of a mess. The thing is, my version of OCD isn't the classic kind—I'm not out here compulsively washing my hands or obsessively flipping light switches—it's more that my brain just forces these intrusive thoughts into my head... completely against my will. Not exactly a fun ride, right?😢
Anyway... there it is. I guess now I officially belong to one of those groups; p

fadedskipper54 said:So... I finally have some clarity on what’s actually going on with me. Initially, I tried to self-diagnose my own anxiety—which, obviously, was a brilliant move on my part—but after sitting through several appointments with a psychiatrist, I’ve been given a diagnosis of a mix of OCD, phobias, and depression. It’s a bit of a mess. The thing is, my version of OCD isn't the classic kind—I'm not out here compulsively washing my hands or obsessively flipping light switches—it's more that my brain just forces these intrusive thoughts into my head... completely against my will. Not exactly a fun ride, right?😢
Anyway... there it is. I guess now I officially belong to one of those groups; p

Honestly, if we just had an option to swap heads out for new ones, life would be a whole lot easier.🙄

Hmm, yes... I’m dealing with that OCD flare-up again. It comes in waves—good days and bad days—just like it does for everyone else on this forum. Yesterday, I decided to head to the theater to see number 23! An incredibly poor decision for someone living with my specific disorder, considering the entire plot revolves around obsession. My fragile composure gave out after about twenty minutes—maybe twenty-three, if we're being precise, lol—and I had to step out and wait until the credits rolled. Honestly, I was on the verge of tears during the screening, and a panic attack nearly took hold... so, yeah. I think next time I’ll just stick to watching Mr. Bean

Growing up, I had this whole nightly ritual I had to go through before I could sleep.
1. Checking if the doors were locked a few times.
2. Tapping the doorknob repeatedly to keep any bad vibes from getting in.
3. Peeking under the bed and inside the closet just to be sure.
4. Once the lights went out, I’d flip them back on after a few seconds just to run a quick, condensed version of all those checks again.

Then I'd pull the covers over my head and say a specific number of prayers—always looking around nervously to see if anyone was there.
It was mostly just childhood fear, and honestly, it completely vanished as I got older. These days, I still find myself double or triple-checking that the house is locked before I head out, or doing the same thing with my car. Usually, when I feel that urge to check something and I know it's irrational, I just calm myself down by telling myself that life happens. If someone breaks in or a car gets stolen... well, things can be fixed.🙂 It's a bit tougher when that obsessive checking involves the safety of someone close to you, because you can't just tell yourself "let it burn." In those moments, you have no choice but to check every single thing that could go wrong while you're away.
By the way, I love counting money—just counting and counting. That's actually tied to something else entirely: greed.

I find myself constantly checking to make sure my wallet isn't empty, and I feel compelled to ensure every single door in the house is locked. I unfortunately neglected to say my nightly prayer, and so... well, I suppose I don't worry too much about those specific things. It's more the anxiety itself that truly concerns me.

Checking up on things?! Well, I mean, I always have to make sure my wallet is actually where I left it... which is exactly why I can't stand them... they’re just too bulky and awkward, and I’m constantly paranoid that I've misplaced it... but once I know my cash and ID are tucked safely in my pocket, I feel way more relaxed. Since I don't have a car yet, I find myself double-checking that my bike is properly locked up too...

Anyway, here is a little quirk of mine—I realized recently that whenever I set my alarm, the second and fourth digits have to be identical, and I've been doing this for like 5 or 6 years now... for example, setting it for 06:26 or 15:35... and that's just how I roll! ;-)

When I was just obsessively washing my hands, double-checking the locks, avoiding certain lines on the sidewalk, specific colors, or certain foods, things were manageable... but it can get much worse than that 😲 👎

Life became a total living hell for both me and my partner... It wasn't enough just to wash things anymore; I started disinfecting everything with extreme intensity... then I’d start tossing out anything I couldn't "sanitize," like clothes, groceries, household items... and the cleaning sessions just kept getting longer and longer... until it completely hijacked my life. I literally couldn't do anything else except disinfect. The fear was terrifying—full-blown panic attacks... aaaaaaaahhh..........

But—I’m okay now 😛
Well, at least I'm back to where I was about five or six years ago... and I'm still making progress 🙂 and living a normal life!

The cure?
Step 1)
OCD serves a purpose—it creates an illusion of control... and when it comes to stuff like checking the front door, the stove, or the lights... I honestly don't think it interferes enough with daily life to justify long-term clinical treatment...
but once you cross that line of tolerance, when you finally snap!!... that snapping is crucial. Yeah, I've always known there's no point in washing my hands this much... but it was always easier to just scrub them a few more times (with rubbing alcohol!) than to face the agonizing contemplation of how to actually stop... You need to hit that breaking point where it feels easier to take action than to keep "living" like that. In other words, step one is finding the self-motivation to actually treat the OCD.

This assumes you're actually aware and acknowledge that OCD is a legitimate disorder and, as such, it is treatable. If you're just feeling anxious and washing your hands simply to avoid that anxiety, you can't solve the actual problem because you don't feel like you *have* a problem—to you, the problem is just dirty hands, an unlocked door, or a crack in the pavement, and you "solve" it through obsessive-compulsive repetition... once those repetitive actions themselves become the bigger issue, *then* you have a condition you can actually work on.

Step 2)
OCD usually goes hand-in-hand with other disorders or health issues —it's a chicken or the egg situation...
"Consult your doctor or pharmacist"😁
However, personally, I feel like homeopathy helped me way more in that area. Homeopathy totally revitalized me!! 🙏 Seriously guys, if you struggle with OCD—go see a homeopath!!!!

Step 3)
Therapy. Psychotherapy.
Do you realize that statistically, people recover just as much whether they only take antidepressants or only go to a psychologist?
In my opinion, five hundred pills won't help you if you aren't doing therapy. Real, quality therapy.
And you need to educate yourself on the issue, practice self-analysis, and learn how to relax.

Step 4)
Patience. Realizing that you are actively working on a change and that soon—soon enough—everything will steadily get better and better... Don't rush it. Give yourself time for everything to settle into place. Getting rid of OCD is a massive lifestyle shift; you need time to adjust to a life without compulsive obsessions!

So, I saw various psychologists, tried homeopathy, took medication, and opened up to my friends and family (and surprisingly, nobody turned their back on me; instead, I found a lot of understanding and support)... and I am okay.
I still have a little bit of OCD lingering, but I can live a normal life. And I am. And I'm happy!

Andrew Stewart2 said:Man, I’m hyper-aware of it constantly... honestly, I’m always fidgeting with them. But my little trick is that I really only pull them out when I'm watching TV or at the movie theater, or maybe when I'm driving. So there are plenty of days where they don't even touch my nose. And when they *are* on, I'm always adjusting them because I can feel exactly how wonky they are... just constantly pushing them around trying to make them look somewhat symmetrical... 😁

I've been taking Melatonin for about six months now, though not every single day—maybe every other day or every third day. I mostly use it to help me drift off. In the beginning, it actually helped a lot, really relaxed me, but after a while, it felt like it almost stopped working. It still helps me get sleepy, though. But yeah, I also have those sleep aids (like Ambien) on hand too.

I didn't end up going to psychotherapy at Mayo Clinic... my first encounter with them was such an awful experience that I decided it just wasn't worth wasting my time there.

Anyway, I'm feeling way better than I was at the end of last year, and this whole thing with symmetry, washing hands, and stuff like that... I feel like it's just a reflection of someone's character... 🙂

What about you, though? Is asymmetry the only thing that gets under your skin?

You gave some solid advice to people, and trust me, I've been lurking on this forum (specifically this section) for a long time and it didn't make things any better for me... ☕

I find myself washing my hands significantly less often than I used to, though in my defense, I’ve always harbored this quiet, persistent suspicion that everyone else is just a total slob who couldn't care less about basic hygiene... 🙂 They weren't exactly sane in my eyes back then, and honestly, looking back on it now... I still don't think they were... 🙂

And I know that life is supposed to be beautiful
But I can't seem to tap into that feeling at the moment,
I truly believed I had finally turned a corner—found some stability—but honestly, I just feel like breaking down right now...

Let’s breathe some life back into this subforum 🙂. I was recently diagnosed with OCD and started on medication... Paxil... I don't have any obvious physical compulsions, "just" those intrusive thoughts that make it incredibly hard to function normally during the day
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How are you all dealing with this disorder? How much do the meds actually help? Sometimes these thoughts get so infuriating—and I mean, honestly, I don't know what to do with myself—that I just lose it. I get scattered, I forget things, and most of the time I'm just stuck living inside my own head
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It's like looking into a mirror where nothing exists outside of that headspace. I somehow manage to push through, but the crises definitely happen... Mornings are the absolute worst for me. Getting out of bed is such a struggle because the thoughts just come flooding in like a dam breaking—a million per hour, associations, fantasies... OCD is brutal. It gets better later in the day, though
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Does anyone have any techniques they’d recommend? Autogenic training, or something similar? Relaxation methods? What has actually worked for you? Thanks
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I’ve been obsessed with symmetry—or maybe it was asymmetry, I can't quite remember—since I was about eleven years old. For a few years there, I actually fell into this loop where I’d count everything up to five, then restart the whole process five times over, which meant doing those twenty-five counts five more times... it was exhausting. Eventually, I decided to seek some professional help back in 2005 from Dr. Fauci, who gave me a much clearer picture of what was going on with the disorder. She prescribed me some Pfizer, which ended up helping me about 90 percent of the way. Sadly, I eventually stopped taking it; at the time, my main priority was just trying to overcome the social anxiety that was making my life such a struggle.

I’ve been living with OCD for years, and for the longest time, I honestly thought I was the only one dealing with this kind of thing. For me, it manifests as skin picking—constantly picking at nonexistent blemishes all over my body—which has left my skin in really rough shape. I recently picked up two books from the States that explain how skin picking actually falls under the same umbrella as nail biting, hair pulling, checking compulsions, excessive hand washing, and even Tourette syndrome. It’s such a relief to finally understand what’s happening and realize that I’m NOT a bad person for struggling with this. So many people with these disorders carry so much guilt, thinking they just have a weak character or feeling too ashamed to speak up, which only makes everything so much harder because they feel completely alone.

I’ve started looking for professional help, but it feels like there isn't a psychiatrist in the US who truly specializes in this specific area. My main issue is that I'm really hesitant about starting medication, and I'm having a hard time finding a specialist who focuses on behavioral therapy. Does anyone know a provider who actually deals with this?