OCD: General Discussion Thread

coastalskipper92 said:Is inertia considered one of the symptoms? For me, that's easily the most painful part.

I suppose I'm just an "indigo" type, and OCD just isn't built for people like us...

It feels impossible to truly get rid of this—the depression and everything else—because it all just piles up on top of the OCD. We are essentially made of it. Perhaps there's a way to ease the burden, though.

Hypochondriac

You have no idea how well I can
play the part, or how deeply I can love
you don't realize how quickly I change
you'll never know what I have in store
depression is nothing new to me
it runs in the family, from my mother

So be kind, be careful
be good to me
because I am a Hypochondriac

chorus 2x
Your love is what keeps me alive
let me drink you in
at seven, at twelve, at five
your love is what keeps me alive
love is the only cure

You don't realize how quickly I change
you'll never know what I have in store
depression is nothing new to me
it runs in the family, from my mother

chorus 2x

My head aches, my soul aches
oh, I could sleep forever

chorus 2x

Love is the only cure
(3x)

Hey, what's up. Yeah, inertia is definitely a symptom. At least, it certainly was for me.

Richard Fisher13 said:I’ve just got one question on my mind. How do you actually help someone living with OCD? I care about this person deeply, so I'm trying to figure out if just offering constant support and love is enough, or if there's something more tangible I can do to make a difference.🙂

Look, at the end of the day, support and love are everything. Having a partner who actually gets what you're going through makes a massive difference to me—I honestly don't know where I'd be if my husband didn't understand me. Beyond that, we really need to be pushing people to go out and get professional help. OCD isn't a life sentence; it's something you can actually recover from if you take the right steps.

I’ve got something pretty similar going on myself... 🙂
Basically, it’s a little harder to put into words—but it doesn't really mess with my day-to-day life.
I count my steps in patterns: 1, 1, 2, 1, then back to 1, 1, 2, 1, and just keep looping it like that.
But when I'm walking down a street with a lot of "patches"—you know, those old potholes that got filled in with asphalt but left these distinct bumps—it gets tricky.🙂
I have to time it so my foot lands outside the patch first, then I take two steps (that's the 1, 2 part) right on the patch, and then my fourth step (that final 1) has to land back outside on the smooth stuff.😁
Sounds a bit weird, I know, and honestly, I don't even know how else to explain it unless I actually filmed myself doing it.😁
Sometimes I’ll even start shortening my stride just so I can nail that 1, 1, 2, 1 rhythm while crossing a patch. ;D
It works with cars, too—like near the front wheel it's a 1, between the front and back wheels it's 1, 2, and then by the back wheel, it’s that finishing 1.
I do the same thing with those pavers people have in their driveways.
Or if I'm at a crosswalk, I'll only step on the white stripes of the zebra crossing—sometimes I'll only step on the black parts instead.

I’m only just realizing how often I actually do this.🙂
But, I don't know, there's a weird sense of satisfaction when I manage to get all the way across a street or a crosswalk perfectly.😁

Mind you, I can't really do this when I'm out on my bike—even though I love riding.
So it’s not an issue when I have to go somewhere where I won't be able to "count or group" things.

brighttinker48 said:I’ve got something pretty similar going on myself... 🙂
Basically, it’s a little harder to put into words—but it doesn't really mess with my day-to-day life.
I count my steps in patterns: 1, 1, 2, 1, then back to 1, 1, 2, 1, and just keep looping it like that.
But when I'm walking down a street with a lot of "patches"—you know, those old potholes that got filled in with asphalt but left these distinct bumps—it gets tricky.🙂
I have to time it so my foot lands outside the patch first, then I take two steps (that's the 1, 2 part) right on the patch, and then my fourth step (that final 1) has to land back outside on the smooth stuff.😁
Sounds a bit weird, I know, and honestly, I don't even know how else to explain it unless I actually filmed myself doing it.😁
Sometimes I’ll even start shortening my stride just so I can nail that 1, 1, 2, 1 rhythm while crossing a patch. ;D
It works with cars, too—like near the front wheel it's a 1, between the front and back wheels it's 1, 2, and then by the back wheel, it’s that finishing 1.
I do the same thing with those pavers people have in their driveways.
Or if I'm at a crosswalk, I'll only step on the white stripes of the zebra crossing—sometimes I'll only step on the black parts instead.

I’m only just realizing how often I actually do this.🙂
But, I don't know, there's a weird sense of satisfaction when I manage to get all the way across a street or a crosswalk perfectly.😁

Mind you, I can't really do this when I'm out on my bike—even though I love riding.
So it’s not an issue when I have to go somewhere where I won't be able to "count or group" things.

In my opinion, if it isn't interfering with your daily routine, then it's probably nothing to worry about... everyone has their own little "quirks," after all. Cheers from Olivia Rivera77...🙄

I used to do the exact same thing for a long time, but eventually, I got terrified that I was going to have a complete mental breakdown if I didn't reel it in. So, I started practicing self-control. Nowadays, when those urges hit, it’s way easier to just stop myself than it used to be... everything just had to follow a specific order. When I was counting things like that... I don't know, I'd find myself doodling little marks in my notebook, and the lack of symmetry between the left and right sides would drive me absolutely insane. I ended up counting every single little line because odd numbers were such a struggle for me... they felt "lonely," so I started coming up with all these different systems to fix that. It also drove me crazy if books weren't organized perfectly by size, alphabet, or genre. And counting steps? Yeah, that was probably the hardest part for me. I was washing myself twice a day, I couldn't stand the thought of touching someone else's remote or phone, I’d never use a hairbrush that wasn't mine, and I’d lose my mind if someone even sat on the edge of my bed...
I’d disinfect all my makeup and brushes with Lysol, and I never, ever sit directly on a toilet seat, whether I'm at home or out in public...
All of this was tied to depression, and as my anxiety started to settle down, the intensity of the compulsions started to fade too. I began to realize that I was doing all this because I felt like I had zero control over my internal world, so I was trying to compensate by exerting total control over bacteria and physical order. Once I realized that, I decided to stop focusing on fixing my environment and start working on myself—on my actual mental health...
I wouldn't call myself a huge freak today, but there are definitely some lingering traces...
I tend to overanalyze things way too much. People tell me I get lost in the weeds instead of looking at the big picture. My hygiene standards are still way above average, but I actually found a career where that works in my favor—medicine. Now, that attention to detail, sense of order, cleanliness, and perfectionism have become professional strengths...
Actually, I wash my hands more often now than I did back when the disorder was hitting me a thousand times harder😂

Honestly, ever since I started my antidepressants, it’s like someone finally organized the chaos in my brain. Everything feels structured now. Take my house, for example—everything has to be in its exact right spot. Before this, I didn't have the energy to lift a finger; my home was a total disaster zone, mirroring the absolute mess inside my head. But the real struggle isn't the physical stuff; it's the intrusive thoughts. I don't mean to sound like I'm judging anyone, but if your only issue is keeping up with laundry or cleaning, you should honestly be celebrating. Dealing with the mental side of things is a different beast entirely. Imagine having a million terrifying thoughts racing through your mind every single day—dark, irrational stuff, like worrying about something horrible happening to your kid. Of course, I don't actually want any of that to happen, which is exactly why it's such a massive problem. Thankfully, since starting the meds, things have finally calmed down. I seriously thought I was going to lose my mind.🤷

So, in those exact moments, you actually want your kid to die??? You don't feel like you're a danger to them during those times...??? I mean, I honestly have no clue what's going on here. I'm not saying you're some kind of potential killer or anything, but what does a psychiatrist actually say about a feeling like yours?

I have these strange obsessions... I can't stop my mind from looping back to thoughts about sexual assault.
It’s not that I find any pleasure in it—far from it—it just leaves me feeling this overwhelming sense of anxiety that I simply can't shake...

I’ve been going to therapy to deal with social anxiety, and I'm currently on Cipralex and Ritalin—though honestly, I'm not even entirely sure if Cipralex
is actually the right call for obsessive thoughts; I really should probably do some actual reading on it.

Does anyone else here struggle with similar obsessions?

Olivia Rivera77, maybe you just love that kid a little too much—and this whole fixation on their death... it feels more like an irrational fear
than anything else. You're just terrified
that something might actually happen to them.

Carl Anderson76 said:So, in those exact moments, you actually want your kid to die??? You don't feel like you're a danger to them during those times...??? I mean, I honestly have no clue what's going on here. I'm not saying you're some kind of potential killer or anything, but what does a psychiatrist actually say about a feeling like yours?

No, you’re totally missing the point. It's not that I *want* my kid to die—hell no, she’s my whole world. This happened because I was stuck in a massive depression for ages and didn't seek help, so eventually, it just spiraled into intense anxiety. When you combine deep depression with high-functioning anxiety, things get messy. Once everything hit a breaking point, I finally went to see a doctor. And look, I am absolutely not a danger to anyone; it’s just how my anxiety manifests itself through these intrusive thoughts or whatever. It is the polar opposite of who I actually am as a person. I started taking Lexapro, and thank God, everything is fine now.

I don't know, I have these really strange obsessions... I constantly find myself thinking about sexual assault.
It’s not like I’m getting anything out of it or enjoying it, it just leaves me feeling this massive wave of anxiety that I can't seem to shake off no matter what...

I'm right there with you on this one.😢 🙄...I actually wrote a whole post about it in my thread regarding fears surrounding sexuality. It's been something I've dealt with since I was little... and honestly, if it didn't keep dragging me back down into that dark headspace, I probably wouldn't even talk about it.

Donna Wood52 said:Olivia Rivera77, maybe you just love that kid a little too much—and this whole fixation on their death... it feels more like an irrational fear
than anything else. You're just terrified
that something might actually happen to them.

To be honest, I went through the exact same thing with my husband back before I had kids. He was my entire world, my everything. But now that I have a child, they’ve taken that top spot in my heart, and I guess that shift in focus plays a role in how these fears hit me. I don't know, honestly. I'm not even sure myself anymore. I've been seeing a therapist for ages now, and it's actually helping things along...

Olivia Rivera77 said:No, you’re totally missing the point. It's not that I *want* my kid to die—hell no, she’s my whole world. This happened because I was stuck in a massive depression for ages and didn't seek help, so eventually, it just spiraled into intense anxiety. When you combine deep depression with high-functioning anxiety, things get messy. Once everything hit a breaking point, I finally went to see a doctor. And look, I am absolutely not a danger to anyone; it’s just how my anxiety manifests itself through these intrusive thoughts or whatever. It is the polar opposite of who I actually am as a person. I started taking Lexapro, and thank God, everything is fine now.

Aha, okay, I totally get it now... reading it without context makes it sound way scarier than it is. Hang in there, both you and the little one.🙂

[QUOTE=Carl Anderson76;17892497]aha sad shvaćam...onako izolirano kad čitam zvuči strašno....držite se i ti i bebica🙂[/QUOTE
thanks a lot ....cheers...[/QUOTE]

I’ve actually been dealing with this—self-diagnosed, I guess—for quite a long time now... it’s just these certain things, like movements I feel I have to repeat a specific number of times. I used to be one of those kids jumping over cracks in the sidewalk, but I finally moved past that stage.
Lately, when I catch myself doing these repetitive motions (like using my right hand), I’ll try to consciously force myself to stop, but then I’ll realize a few minutes later that I’ve started doing it with my left hand instead. Then I try to snap out of it again, only to find myself doing it with my foot a couple of minutes later, too.
Still, I think I've managed to cut down on these extra repetitions pretty well over time.
The whole thing stems from this feeling that if I don't do something a certain amount of times, something bad might happen—or, you know, the thing I actually want won't happen (and usually, it's the bad stuff that feels more likely). So, I try to talk myself through it—basically trying to drill into my head that these little actions aren't going to change future events—and I'll try to stop using one part of my body, but then I end up switching to another... though sometimes, I actually do manage to quit cold turkey.

Sometimes I do it because things just need to be an even number, or they need to make some kind of sense or feel "complete," like there needs to be some sort of order to it.
But like someone else mentioned in this thread, it’s probably just an attempt at creating some semblance of order in the outside world to deal with all the chaos happening in my subconscious.

Olivia Rivera77 said:Honestly, ever since I started my antidepressants, it’s like someone finally organized the chaos in my brain. Everything feels structured now. Take my house, for example—everything has to be in its exact right spot. Before this, I didn't have the energy to lift a finger; my home was a total disaster zone, mirroring the absolute mess inside my head. But the real struggle isn't the physical stuff; it's the intrusive thoughts. I don't mean to sound like I'm judging anyone, but if your only issue is keeping up with laundry or cleaning, you should honestly be celebrating. Dealing with the mental side of things is a different beast entirely. Imagine having a million terrifying thoughts racing through your mind every single day—dark, irrational stuff, like worrying about something horrible happening to your kid. Of course, I don't actually want any of that to happen, which is exactly why it's such a massive problem. Thankfully, since starting the meds, things have finally calmed down. I seriously thought I was going to lose my mind.🤷

I know exactly what you mean... I get those same terrifying thoughts racing through my head, too. Of course, I don't want them, and I'd never actually do anything like that, so I just sit there wondering where they even come from. I've kind of landed on the idea that my own mind is basically bullying itself—it's like I'm the one causing my own suffering—mostly because I don't really love myself, I guess.
But I don't identify with the thoughts themselves, though. It's more like there's this part of me that's actively trying to torture and destroy another part of me.
It sounds a little crazy, but it makes sense to me. I've been thinking about seeing a therapist for a while now, but I just haven't been able to bring myself to actually do it.

Patrick Morris7 said:I know exactly what you mean... I get those same terrifying thoughts racing through my head, too. Of course, I don't want them, and I'd never actually do anything like that, so I just sit there wondering where they even come from. I've kind of landed on the idea that my own mind is basically bullying itself—it's like I'm the one causing my own suffering—mostly because I don't really love myself, I guess.
But I don't identify with the thoughts themselves, though. It's more like there's this part of me that's actively trying to torture and destroy another part of me.
It sounds a little crazy, but it makes sense to me. I've been thinking about seeing a therapist for a while now, but I just haven't been able to bring myself to actually do it.

That feeling is absolutely brutal. I spent years fighting that same battle until I hit a wall and realized I couldn't take it anymore... so I finally went and got help. I can tell you right now, I feel so much better. I actually learned how to love myself, my confidence shot up, and I stopped living in fear. The worst parts—the tics and those intrusive thoughts—they haven't vanished completely, but there are days now where they don't cross my mind once. I’d recommend seeing a professional to anyone dealing with this, though obviously, you have to find the right fit because not every doctor is a winner. Luckily, I found a great one at a local community clinic who really helped me turn things around. And that whole thing about counting or repetitive rituals? I was doing that stuff back in middle school, tapping on desks and praying everything would go okay, thinking if I didn't do it, something terrible would happen. It's a heavy cycle to be in. Hang in there.👍

Why on earth did I have to run into such a clueless doctor 🙂🙂

brightmason80 said:Why on earth did I have to run into such a clueless doctor 🙂🙂

Honestly, I’m not even sure how to respond to that. I went through my insurance provider, so I’m pretty happy with how things turned out. Maybe the reason it worked out for me is because my doctor specializes specifically in pediatrics, teens, and late adolescence...🤷which means they actually have some patience. At the end of the day, a good doctor is all about competence. Did you go through your insurance or did you pay out of pocket for a private visit?😉

Olivia Rivera77 said:That feeling is absolutely brutal. I spent years fighting that same battle until I hit a wall and realized I couldn't take it anymore... so I finally went and got help. I can tell you right now, I feel so much better. I actually learned how to love myself, my confidence shot up, and I stopped living in fear. The worst parts—the tics and those intrusive thoughts—they haven't vanished completely, but there are days now where they don't cross my mind once. I’d recommend seeing a professional to anyone dealing with this, though obviously, you have to find the right fit because not every doctor is a winner. Luckily, I found a great one at a local community clinic who really helped me turn things around. And that whole thing about counting or repetitive rituals? I was doing that stuff back in middle school, tapping on desks and praying everything would go okay, thinking if I didn't do it, something terrible would happen. It's a heavy cycle to be in. Hang in there.👍

It doesn't hit me every single day... not with the OCD or the intrusive thoughts. It happens sometimes, just every once in a while, and there's definitely a gap of time between those thoughts coming up, but when they do show up, they totally catch me off guard and just frustrate me.
It's also like, when I'm trying to drift off right before sleep or when I'm first waking up (in that sort of half-conscious, groggy state), these images and thoughts just fly through my head that have absolutely nothing to do with anything.
And they aren't even like, dark or inappropriate thoughts or anything, just random thoughts that line up one after another without any connection to reality.
It stays like that until I fully wake up and become conscious, or until I finally crash into a deep sleep.
It doesn't happen every day either, I've noticed it mostly happens when I'm stressed out, or unhappy about something, or just when something's weighing on me—but still, it happens too often.
I know you get how I felt back before I had any clue what was going on or how to describe it—I honestly thought I was losing my mind. It scared me just thinking about it, but I did a little digging and saw that a lot of people deal with the exact same symptoms and there's an actual medical term for it, so it doesn't mean I'm crazy or anything.
That realization alone helped me a bit, seeing that I don't actually *am* those thoughts and that they're kind of forced on me because of some chemical imbalance.
Anyway, I try to use logic to suppress them (and I think I've been pretty successful with the OCD part).
But yeah, I know, I really should talk to a psychologist, but I can only get to one through my primary care doctor with a referral, and since I live in this small town and have had the same doctor since I was a kid, it feels kind of awkward to go to him. I'm worried he might judge me or label me as being crazy.