OCD: General Discussion Thread

graniteraven92 · 2004-11-15T11:55:10+00:00

Alright, I think the headline pretty much speaks for itself here. Has anyone else (unfortunately) dealt with this kind of thing, and more importantly—how do yo…

brightmason80 Member

16 messages
joined Dec 2008

#641 · Dec 31, 2008

Olivia Rivera77 said:Honestly, I’m not even sure how to respond to that. I went through my insurance provider, so I’m pretty happy with how things turned out. Maybe the reason it worked out for me is because my doctor specializes specifically in pediatrics, teens, and late adolescence...🤷which means they actually have some patience. At the end of the day, a good doctor is all about competence. Did you go through your insurance or did you pay out of pocket for a private visit?😉

Well, I went the private route for about a year, and the only thing that actually improved was the doctor's bank account... nothing helped me :asshole:

Olivia Rivera77 Active Member

77 messages
joined Nov 2008

#642 · Dec 31, 2008

Patrick Morris7 said:It doesn't hit me every single day... not with the OCD or the intrusive thoughts. It happens sometimes, just every once in a while, and there's definitely a gap of time between those thoughts coming up, but when they do show up, they totally catch me off guard and just frustrate me.
It's also like, when I'm trying to drift off right before sleep or when I'm first waking up (in that sort of half-conscious, groggy state), these images and thoughts just fly through my head that have absolutely nothing to do with anything.
And they aren't even like, dark or inappropriate thoughts or anything, just random thoughts that line up one after another without any connection to reality.
It stays like that until I fully wake up and become conscious, or until I finally crash into a deep sleep.
It doesn't happen every day either, I've noticed it mostly happens when I'm stressed out, or unhappy about something, or just when something's weighing on me—but still, it happens too often.
I know you get how I felt back before I had any clue what was going on or how to describe it—I honestly thought I was losing my mind. It scared me just thinking about it, but I did a little digging and saw that a lot of people deal with the exact same symptoms and there's an actual medical term for it, so it doesn't mean I'm crazy or anything.
That realization alone helped me a bit, seeing that I don't actually *am* those thoughts and that they're kind of forced on me because of some chemical imbalance.
Anyway, I try to use logic to suppress them (and I think I've been pretty successful with the OCD part).
But yeah, I know, I really should talk to a psychologist, but I can only get to one through my primary care doctor with a referral, and since I live in this small town and have had the same doctor since I was a kid, it feels kind of awkward to go to him. I'm worried he might judge me or label me as being crazy.

I get the exact same thing whenever I hear bad news or start spiraling over something. Usually, if I'm worked up, it just gets worse no matter how hard I try to block it out. I eventually realized that trying to fight the thoughts only makes them more frequent; once I started just letting them pass through without engaging, it got a lot better. Before bed, my brain always goes into overdrive with "what if" scenarios—like what if something happens to me, or even worse, what if something happens to my family? I'll see these vivid, awful images in my head, but even that has calmed down lately. I also went through that phase of thinking I was losing it, and it was miserable until I connected with other people facing the same struggle. I thought I was the only one, and I had no idea why this was happening or how to stop the cycle. Going to a psychiatrist felt super embarrassing at first, but over time I've gotten used to it and realized so many people are doing the same thing. My town isn't exactly a metropolis, but honestly, I don't care anymore if someone spots my car outside the clinic. If anyone asks, I'll just tell them I'm there for postpartum depression or whatever. Don't suffer in silence—just go see a professional. They can actually help you.👍

Carl Anderson76 Member

46 messages
joined Dec 2008

#643 · Dec 31, 2008

So, what’s actually going on with you? Honestly, I’m having a bit of a hard time following everything here, which is probably why I went totally ballistic when you mentioned your little one earlier. I didn't mean to snap, I just got overwhelmed. Is it that constant feeling that something bad is about to happen to you or the people closest to you? Like, is that what we're dealing with?

Olivia Rivera77 Active Member

77 messages
joined Nov 2008

#644 · Jan 1, 2009

Carl Anderson76 said:So, what’s actually going on with you? Honestly, I’m having a bit of a hard time following everything here, which is probably why I went totally ballistic when you mentioned your little one earlier. I didn't mean to snap, I just got overwhelmed. Is it that constant feeling that something bad is about to happen to you or the people closest to you? Like, is that what we're dealing with?

It all started with these intrusive thoughts just looping in my head: like, "I hope someone just drops dead." It wasn't directed at anyone specific, it was just this constant, million-times-a-day mental glitch. I was terrified that just by thinking it, I might somehow cause harm, which sounds crazy, right? I even went to see a counselor, but they didn't really seem to grasp the gravity of it. Then I tried fighting the thoughts, which honestly just made everything ten times worse. Eventually, the thoughts turned toward my husband—just wishing he'd pass away, over and over again. After I had the baby, the pattern shifted to: "I wish I had never even gone through with this..." Maybe that sounds dark or even ridiculous to some people, but for me, it was an absolute nightmare because those aren't *my* actual thoughts... they're just these uninvited intruders you can't stop no matter how hard you try. I was terrified of being alone with my child, not because I wanted to hurt her, but because I felt like such a failure as a mother for even having these thoughts about the tiny human I love more than anything in the world. My doctor eventually explained that it's because having a baby is a massive life upheaval, and since I have to be "on" for her 24/7, my anxiety just manifests this way. Since I started taking my antidepressants and just learned to let those thoughts drift by without panicking that I'll actually hurt someone, things have gotten so much easier. It's almost like the thoughts aren't even there anymore.

Samuel Davis16 Member

46 messages
joined Jan 2009

#645 · Jan 1, 2009

I self-diagnosed this a long time ago. I’m obsessively tidy—dust, crumbs, clutter, spills... everything drives me crazy.
Even when I'm exhausted or I feel like I just vacuumed ten minutes ago, if I see one stray crumb, I'm getting the vacuum back out. I can't leave a single glass sitting on the counter; it goes straight into the dishwasher immediately. It sounds ridiculous. My house looks more like a sterile pharmacy than a home. Everything has a specific spot. If I set the remote next to my phone and someone moves it, I’ll get up just to put it back exactly where it was. I’ve started taking Lexapro for other reasons lately, and honestly, I’ve loosened up a bit. Things don't bother me as much when they aren't perfectly aligned. Is that what it means?

Samuel Davis16 Member

46 messages
joined Jan 2009

#646 · Jan 1, 2009

Yeah, honestly, it works for me because I’m a bit of a neat freak. There are just those specific days where I'm completely wiped out and have zero motivation, but I can't even close my eyes to sleep unless everything is perfectly in its place.

Just how I'm wired.

Carl Anderson76 Member

46 messages
joined Dec 2008

#647 · Jan 1, 2009

So, you mentioned your doctor explained those sudden shifts in mood were mostly due to the massive life changes that come with expecting a baby, but you also said you were feeling this way even before the pregnancy—mostly regarding how things felt with your husband...
I’m curious, though, what does that actually look like for you? Like, what triggers it? Does he do something specific that sets it off, or is it more of a general feeling where you just feel dissatisfied with everything in life during those moments?

Olivia Rivera77 Active Member

77 messages
joined Nov 2008

#648 · Jan 2, 2009

Carl Anderson76 said:So, you mentioned your doctor explained those sudden shifts in mood were mostly due to the massive life changes that come with expecting a baby, but you also said you were feeling this way even before the pregnancy—mostly regarding how things felt with your husband...
I’m curious, though, what does that actually look like for you? Like, what triggers it? Does he do something specific that sets it off, or is it more of a general feeling where you just feel dissatisfied with everything in life during those moments?

Honestly, I was miserable because my self-esteem was basically non-existent. I was too embarrassed to even open my mouth because I was terrified of sounding stupid. So, whenever someone said something to me or did something out of line, I just sat there and took it. I think that’s when things felt the most intense—because I grew up with that whole "don't be rude, just be polite" mentality drilled into me... which is total BS if you ask me. Look where that got me. I’ve had a manager at work treating me like garbage for three years, and all I did was shut up and swallow it...

Samuel Davis16 Member

46 messages
joined Jan 2009

#649 · Jan 2, 2009

Nobody got back to me..

Whatever. I’m not looking for another diagnosis. I'm handling things just fine on my own; I was just curious if this counts as a specific symptom of a disorder.

As long as I can hold it together and function normally, I'm not going to bring this up with some therapist in 🙂
.
Later.

David Nelson74 Active Member

85 messages
joined Apr 2007

#650 · Jan 2, 2009

Samuel Davis16 said:I self-diagnosed this a long time ago. I’m obsessively tidy—dust, crumbs, clutter, spills... everything drives me crazy.
Even when I'm exhausted or I feel like I just vacuumed ten minutes ago, if I see one stray crumb, I'm getting the vacuum back out. I can't leave a single glass sitting on the counter; it goes straight into the dishwasher immediately. It sounds ridiculous. My house looks more like a sterile pharmacy than a home. Everything has a specific spot. If I set the remote next to my phone and someone moves it, I’ll get up just to put it back exactly where it was. I’ve started taking Lexapro for other reasons lately, and honestly, I’ve loosened up a bit. Things don't bother me as much when they aren't perfectly aligned. Is that what it means?

Samuel Davis16 said:Nobody got back to me..

Whatever. I’m not looking for another diagnosis. I'm handling things just fine on my own; I was just curious if this counts as a specific symptom of a disorder.

As long as I can hold it together and function normally, I'm not going to bring this up with some therapist in 🙂
.
Later.

You might as well talk about what you're discussing with your therapist instead.😁 🙂

Samuel Davis16 Member

46 messages
joined Jan 2009

#651 · Jan 2, 2009

David Nelson74 said:You might as well talk about what you're discussing with your therapist instead.😁 🙂

Nah, pass. I know it’d be entertaining, but I’m good.😁

All I'll say is we'd just end up in a massive shouting match, since I can never actually win an argument against what he's saying.😳😁

David Nelson74 Active Member

85 messages
joined Apr 2007

#652 · Jan 2, 2009

Samuel Davis16 said:Nah, pass. I know it’d be entertaining, but I’m good.😁

All I'll say is we'd just end up in a massive shouting match, since I can never actually win an argument against what he's saying.😳😁

Well, go ahead and have your blowout fight then. Sometimes a massive blowout is actually the only way to spark a constructive conversation. 😁 .You're being such a stubborn nut about this; try loosening up a bit. He's probably got at least a grain of truth to him, it's just that you haven't been able to prove him wrong yet. 🤣😁🙂

bluemaker52 Member

43 messages
joined Jan 2009

#653 · Jan 2, 2009

brightmason80 said:Heading to the kitchen to bake some cookies... honestly, if I could just loop this feeling and do it all over again about 800 times, I would 😂
🙂

But honestly, how many cookies do you actually end up with after all that?

Samuel Davis16 Member

46 messages
joined Jan 2009

#654 · Jan 2, 2009

David Nelson74 said:Well, go ahead and have your blowout fight then. Sometimes a massive blowout is actually the only way to spark a constructive conversation. 😁 .You're being such a stubborn nut about this; try loosening up a bit. He's probably got at least a grain of truth to him, it's just that you haven't been able to prove him wrong yet. 🤣😁🙂

He just repeats everything I already know and acts like he's proving it, as if I don't realize it myself😁

But that doesn't cut it for me. Don't state the obvious. Give me something actual from those books you're always reading that I haven't heard before😁

Put some real arguments and explanations out in the open😁

He's miserable, honestly, but I can cheer him up when I show up😁

What else am I supposed to do? I'm stuck in this mess😳

Samuel Davis16 Member

46 messages
joined Jan 2009

#655 · Jan 2, 2009

bluemaker52 said:But honestly, how many cookies do you actually end up with after all that?

🤣🤣🤣
I'm sure they're counting, omg☕

bluemaker52 Member

43 messages
joined Jan 2009

#656 · Jan 2, 2009

If she’s actually counting, then I’d love to be her next-door neighbor just so I could lend her a hand with all that math (yum).

Samuel Davis16 Member

46 messages
joined Jan 2009

#657 · Jan 2, 2009

bluemaker52 said:If she’s actually counting, then I’d love to be her next-door neighbor just so I could lend her a hand with all that math (yum).

Fine, I just thought you were being rude.😳

bluemaker52 Member

43 messages
joined Jan 2009

#658 · Jan 2, 2009

Why on earth would I do that?
I genuinely wanted to be helpful, just like I was with you. If I were to go ahead and create that kind of absolute disaster, you'd spend the entire week trying to clean up the mess, and then you'd see what a total catastrophe that would actually be.

Samuel Davis16 Member

46 messages
joined Jan 2009

#659 · Jan 2, 2009

bluemaker52 said:Why on earth would I do that?
I genuinely wanted to be helpful, just like I was with you. If I were to go ahead and create that kind of absolute disaster, you'd spend the entire week trying to clean up the mess, and then you'd see what a total catastrophe that would actually be.

Are you kidding me right now? I don't see it as a disorder. Cleaning actually relaxes me.😳
I'm done with the labels. If it isn't messing with my daily life, I'm not accepting the diagnosis.😁

Olivia Rivera77 Active Member

77 messages
joined Nov 2008

#660 · Jan 2, 2009

Samuel Davis16 said:Yeah, honestly, it works for me because I’m a bit of a neat freak. There are just those specific days where I'm completely wiped out and have zero motivation, but I can't even close my eyes to sleep unless everything is perfectly in its place.

Just how I'm wired.

Don't take this the wrong way, but looking at what you're describing... it doesn't actually seem that bad to me. No offense intended, just being real. Cheers.👍

OCD: General Discussion Thread

🔗 Similar threads