OCD: General Discussion Thread

wearycobra36 said:I agree; inertia is a major symptom for me as well. It really hampers my day-to-day life because it feels like it takes an eternity just to get moving, which inevitably kills my productivity. That lack of progress then feeds directly into my dissatisfaction and low mood, creating this exhausting cycle that's hard to break.

For me, perfectionism and emotional volatility are two other symptoms that drive me absolutely crazy. I find the latter particularly draining, as I tend to feel wounded quite easily, causing my feelings toward certain people to swing wildly. This leads right back into that sense of depression, and the whole loop starts all over again... it's quite a struggle to manage.

On a lighter note, I really appreciate the doses of humor some of you are throwing into the mix here... 👍

I totally feel you on that... I used to be just as sensitive, and my entire vibe toward someone could flip in a heartbeat. It makes me feel like I don't actually have any real friends, which is kind of hilarious when I really sit down and think about it, because let’s be honest—I’ve definitely hurt people in the past, too. There was this whole phase where I kept telling myself, "Okay, I’m going to be tough now. I’m going to be cold and unapologetic." I tried to act like a total jerk on purpose, but that’s just not who I am deep down, so the act always falls apart pretty quickly and I end up back to my old self. The real issue is that I’m intimidated by people with stronger personalities. Mentally, I just freeze up. When someone calls me out on something I don't like—and usually, they're right—I just stand there speechless. It makes me feel so stupid. I start thinking, "I'm not an idiot, I'm not actually this clueless, so why is this happening to me?" I wasn't always like this. It feels like I lost my sense of self somewhere along the line and I honestly have no clue who I am anymore. If anyone actually asked me to describe myself right now, I wouldn't even know where to start, because my moods and my feelings are shifting constantly from one day to the next.

Seriously, where did everyone go......??????🙄

I actually found myself checking back two or three times today just to see if anyone had posted, but it’s been completely silent......
Maybe everyone miraculously "recovered" over New Year's Day, or perhaps one of those standard New Year's resolutions was to finally quit forced compulsions, and they’re actually holding steady for once.😕🙂

Regardless, I've tried that approach more times than I can count—having dealt with OCD since I was ten years old—so I know firsthand that it doesn't really work......

Anyway, I'll catch you all a little later....☕

Best to everyone

wearycobra36 said:I actually found myself checking back two or three times today just to see if anyone had posted, but it’s been completely silent......
Maybe everyone miraculously "recovered" over New Year's Day, or perhaps one of those standard New Year's resolutions was to finally quit forced compulsions, and they’re actually holding steady for once.😕🙂

Regardless, I've tried that approach more times than I can count—having dealt with OCD since I was ten years old—so I know firsthand that it doesn't really work......

Anyway, I'll catch you all a little later....☕

Best to everyone

Still awake over here😉

Seriously, I’ve been hanging around here for days now and it feels like a ghost town—not a single soul in sight. Honestly, thank God everyone finally made a recovery though, haha! 👍

Look, I wasn't exactly itching to slog through thirty pages of reading either, but I figured I’d use this as an excuse to brag (!) about my OCD. Honestly, most of it is just trivial nonsense, but it adds up and impacts the big picture. Everything has to be in its exact, rightful place. If there are items on my desk, they have to be perfectly symmetrical. I find myself double-checking if I locked the front door over and over again, even when I know for a fact that I did. It's constant, pointless checking. And don't even get me started on those black and white tiles in the middle of downtown—I can't walk past them without making sure I step on the colors an equal number of times with both feet. Or if I accidentally touch something with one hand, I feel compelled to touch it with the other. My CDs have to be alphabetized, period. That's just what popped into my head, but if I actually sat down to list them all, there would be a million more. What am I supposed to say at the end of this? Nothing. I'm not looking for help. I don't feel like I need it. This is just who I am, and it has been since forever. This is ME. I actually love being obsessive over these little things because these quirks belong to me and nobody else. 🙂

Rachel Brown said:Look, I wasn't exactly itching to slog through thirty pages of reading either, but I figured I’d use this as an excuse to brag (!) about my OCD. Honestly, most of it is just trivial nonsense, but it adds up and impacts the big picture. Everything has to be in its exact, rightful place. If there are items on my desk, they have to be perfectly symmetrical. I find myself double-checking if I locked the front door over and over again, even when I know for a fact that I did. It's constant, pointless checking. And don't even get me started on those black and white tiles in the middle of downtown—I can't walk past them without making sure I step on the colors an equal number of times with both feet. Or if I accidentally touch something with one hand, I feel compelled to touch it with the other. My CDs have to be alphabetized, period. That's just what popped into my head, but if I actually sat down to list them all, there would be a million more. What am I supposed to say at the end of this? Nothing. I'm not looking for help. I don't feel like I need it. This is just who I am, and it has been since forever. This is ME. I actually love being obsessive over these little things because these quirks belong to me and nobody else. 🙂

Must be nice.....👍

I wonder what would actually happen if you didn't step on those floor tiles in the center of the plaza using an equal number of feet for each color...

Eric Jackson11 said:I wonder what would actually happen if you didn't step on those floor tiles in the center of the plaza using an equal number of feet for each color...

Yes, I’m genuinely curious about that too. What kind of "magical thinking" do you suppose drives those little rituals?

Rachel Brown said:Look, I wasn't exactly itching to slog through thirty pages of reading either, but I figured I’d use this as an excuse to brag (!) about my OCD. Honestly, most of it is just trivial nonsense, but it adds up and impacts the big picture. Everything has to be in its exact, rightful place. If there are items on my desk, they have to be perfectly symmetrical. I find myself double-checking if I locked the front door over and over again, even when I know for a fact that I did. It's constant, pointless checking. And don't even get me started on those black and white tiles in the middle of downtown—I can't walk past them without making sure I step on the colors an equal number of times with both feet. Or if I accidentally touch something with one hand, I feel compelled to touch it with the other. My CDs have to be alphabetized, period. That's just what popped into my head, but if I actually sat down to list them all, there would be a million more. What am I supposed to say at the end of this? Nothing. I'm not looking for help. I don't feel like I need it. This is just who I am, and it has been since forever. This is ME. I actually love being obsessive over these little things because these quirks belong to me and nobody else. 🙂

It seems you’ve reached a point where you’re comfortable embracing your OCD, and if you feel there's no pressing need to seek professional help right now, that is perfectly valid. However, I can't help but circle back to that comment you made about how these seemingly minor compulsions end up having such a disproportionate impact on the bigger picture of your life.
I honestly think there’s a deeper truth to how OCD functions—that it’s intrinsically tied to much larger, more systemic issues within us. To my mind, those repetitive compulsions aren't the actual problem; they’re just little warning lights on a dashboard, signaling that something else under the hood is malfunctioning. In my own experience, I didn't actually decide to seek professional help because of the rituals themselves. It was the underlying weight of everything else that finally pushed me toward it—the emotional toll that was making life feel increasingly hollow. I’m talking about that pervasive sense of hopelessness, a constant feeling of worthlessness, plummeting self-esteem, and these erratic swings in mood and perspective that make everything feel unstable. It's hard to find any semblance of peace when you're constantly battling a deep-seated anxiety and a sort of heavy, paralyzing inertia. Even though my brain is perpetually running at full speed—it truly never seems to shut off—my body often feels like it's lagging behind. It takes me an eternity just to get moving, which inevitably leads to me procrastinating on responsibilities for far too long. While I generally manage to stay on top of things at work—albeit at a somewhat sluggish pace—this struggle mostly bleeds into my personal life, where the friction is most intense.
I’ve been wrestling with OCD and its various accompanying anxieties for about a decade now, always nursing this naive little hope that things would simply resolve themselves once I hit my twenties and finally attained some semblance of maturity. While there have certainly been brighter stretches, the moment life throws a bit of genuine tension my way, everything reverts to its baseline. Now that I’m approaching my late twenties, I have to admit that nothing has fundamentally shifted. Sure, I’ve grown up, I’ve devoured enough psychology books to fill a small library, and I’ve become much more self-aware—which helps me navigate the symptoms—but the core of the issue remains stubbornly intact. To be honest, I’m just exhausted by the whole ordeal. It feels as though I am perpetually under the thumb of some invisible master, someone over whom I have absolutely no leverage. That is precisely why I am seeking help. This time around, I am actually open to the idea of medication, despite my previous, rather intense opposition to it, especially after reading some of the positive accounts shared by others here.

I really hope things are going more smoothly on your end and that you aren't being plagued by those extra little "attachments" alongside the main tasks, but if they do show up, please do consider tackling them head-on right away. I certainly wouldn't recommend wasting as much time on them as I did; it’s a bit of a trap, and I'd rather you just deal with the headache immediately instead of letting it drag on.
Sending my best to everyone!🎉

First off, regarding what happens if I don't step on the same color every single time; I feel this sense of loss, like I missed out. But I never stop watching my step just to make sure I don't slip up. Though, honestly, sometimes I go out of my way to mess up those little things on purpose. I try not to be obsessive about it. I can handle it, I can pull it off without breaking a sweat, it's just that I get a much more complete feeling when I actually do what I feel I have to do. And when I really think about it, when I intentionally bypass those "perfectionist rules," I'm actually trying to prove to myself that I’m just like everyone else: "normal," unlabeled. I'm proving that I *can* do it, but still—why bother if there's no necessity? See, even this happens to me constantly in my own head; I'll make a claim in the first sentence, then immediately contradict it in the second.
It's the same deal with perfectionism when it comes to cleaning the house. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, has to be in its place, always tidy. A while back, I was watching The Oprah Winfrey Show and saw that this is actually a consequence—a result of internal chaos, an unorganized emotional or spiritual state. This obsessive tidiness has been part of me forever. Not too long ago (back when I met the guy I started dating shortly after, and we're still together today), that order in the house started getting disrupted by how good my internal state had become. I realized that ever since I've been with him—since I became genuinely happy—I haven't paid nearly as much attention to cleaning. I'm not saying it vanished completely; it hasn't even diminished significantly, but it's noticeable. My mother, who never truly knew me and doesn't like my boyfriend one bit, defined this drop in my cleaning obsession as a lack of time. She didn't say it out loud, but her eyes said it all: she clearly thinks he's the reason I "don't have time." Anyway, now when I feel the urge to clean (and I really do feel the need to clean 🙄), I pay close attention to my headspace, how I'm feeling, and what's going on in my life. I always find a connection.

wearycobra36 said:It seems you’ve reached a point where you’re comfortable embracing your OCD, and if you feel there's no pressing need to seek professional help right now, that is perfectly valid. However, I can't help but circle back to that comment you made about how these seemingly minor compulsions end up having such a disproportionate impact on the bigger picture of your life.
I honestly think there’s a deeper truth to how OCD functions—that it’s intrinsically tied to much larger, more systemic issues within us. To my mind, those repetitive compulsions aren't the actual problem; they’re just little warning lights on a dashboard, signaling that something else under the hood is malfunctioning. In my own experience, I didn't actually decide to seek professional help because of the rituals themselves. It was the underlying weight of everything else that finally pushed me toward it—the emotional toll that was making life feel increasingly hollow. I’m talking about that pervasive sense of hopelessness, a constant feeling of worthlessness, plummeting self-esteem, and these erratic swings in mood and perspective that make everything feel unstable. It's hard to find any semblance of peace when you're constantly battling a deep-seated anxiety and a sort of heavy, paralyzing inertia. Even though my brain is perpetually running at full speed—it truly never seems to shut off—my body often feels like it's lagging behind. It takes me an eternity just to get moving, which inevitably leads to me procrastinating on responsibilities for far too long. While I generally manage to stay on top of things at work—albeit at a somewhat sluggish pace—this struggle mostly bleeds into my personal life, where the friction is most intense.
I’ve been wrestling with OCD and its various accompanying anxieties for about a decade now, always nursing this naive little hope that things would simply resolve themselves once I hit my twenties and finally attained some semblance of maturity. While there have certainly been brighter stretches, the moment life throws a bit of genuine tension my way, everything reverts to its baseline. Now that I’m approaching my late twenties, I have to admit that nothing has fundamentally shifted. Sure, I’ve grown up, I’ve devoured enough psychology books to fill a small library, and I’ve become much more self-aware—which helps me navigate the symptoms—but the core of the issue remains stubbornly intact. To be honest, I’m just exhausted by the whole ordeal. It feels as though I am perpetually under the thumb of some invisible master, someone over whom I have absolutely no leverage. That is precisely why I am seeking help. This time around, I am actually open to the idea of medication, despite my previous, rather intense opposition to it, especially after reading some of the positive accounts shared by others here.

I really hope things are going more smoothly on your end and that you aren't being plagued by those extra little "attachments" alongside the main tasks, but if they do show up, please do consider tackling them head-on right away. I certainly wouldn't recommend wasting as much time on them as I did; it’s a bit of a trap, and I'd rather you just deal with the headache immediately instead of letting it drag on.
Sending my best to everyone!🎉

Hey, it’s like you’re reading my mind... I’m going through the exact same thing. You mentioned being against meds before, and honestly, same. I thought taking pills meant I wasn't "normal." But looking back, I am so incredibly glad I went through with it because it truly changed things for me. It wasn't an overnight fix, though—it took about nine months of consistent Zoloft before I felt a real shift. For the first few months, I’d feel a little better, then slip back, then improve again for a couple of months, and so on. But now, I've been doing well for quite a while. Cheers.👍

Seriously, where did everyone go......???????🙏🤣🙄😉😁😍:e ek:😂😂🙏

I used to deal with that disorder—it was honestly exhausting—but once I hit a certain age, I realized how incredibly stupid it all was. So, I just said, "Enough, I'm done," and it actually worked; I don't feel the need for it anymore, and looking back, I guess it really wasn't normal at all.

I know none of these OCD struggles are easy, but honestly, sometimes I’d give anything to be in your shoes. I've been dealing with trichotillomania—a type of OCD where I pull out my eyelashes and eyebrows—for 15 years now. To be fair, things have improved a bit since I started taking antidepressants... though I should probably clarify that things are actually much better. Still, there are these sudden waves of anxiety where I start pulling again. It's hard. It isn't always that overwhelming urge you just can't fight off, but it happens.

Reading through your posts, I see so many great insights here. Really well said, ladies!

Olivia Rivera77 said:Hey, can someone please reach out if you’re dealing with the same thing I am? I honestly feel like I’m losing my grip on reality... For four years now, I’ve been fighting these intrusive thoughts that are seriously wrecking my daily life. They are absolutely horrific, and frankly, I’m too ashamed to even type out what they’re actually about. 😛I’ve been seeing a psychiatrist and taking medication for about ten months now, but I haven't seen much of an improvement. If anything, the meds just take the edge off so I can handle them slightly better, but otherwise, I’m just sitting here crying and wondering why this is happening to me. I’m a mom now, and I just want to live a decent, quality life. I’m 25, naturally pretty insecure, and pretty shy... how do I help myself? Please, if anyone is going through this exact same hell, let me know...

I struggled for a long time too. Spent hours just crying. It looks like you're doing better since starting antidepressants. I'm glad.🙂

Frank Jackson5 said:I know none of these OCD struggles are easy, but honestly, sometimes I’d give anything to be in your shoes. I've been dealing with trichotillomania—a type of OCD where I pull out my eyelashes and eyebrows—for 15 years now. To be fair, things have improved a bit since I started taking antidepressants... though I should probably clarify that things are actually much better. Still, there are these sudden waves of anxiety where I start pulling again. It's hard. It isn't always that overwhelming urge you just can't fight off, but it happens.

Reading through your posts, I see so many great insights here. Really well said, ladies!

Sending good vibes your way too... even though I'm doing better now, thank God, I know people tend to find this stuff ridiculous. But only those of us actually living through it understand how heavy it really feels. My husband has told me a hundred times, "Just stop doing it," but it doesn't work like that... you know what I mean, right?🤷How would you describe the sensation? Are you pulling with your fingers or ?? all the way down? Sending lots of love.....🙂

Melissa Reyes76 said:I used to deal with that disorder—it was honestly exhausting—but once I hit a certain age, I realized how incredibly stupid it all was. So, I just said, "Enough, I'm done," and it actually worked; I don't feel the need for it anymore, and looking back, I guess it really wasn't normal at all.

👍👍👍

Olivia Rivera77 said:Sending good vibes your way too... even though I'm doing better now, thank God, I know people tend to find this stuff ridiculous. But only those of us actually living through it understand how heavy it really feels. My husband has told me a hundred times, "Just stop doing it," but it doesn't work like that... you know what I mean, right?🤷How would you describe the sensation? Are you pulling with your fingers or ?? all the way down? Sending lots of love.....🙂

I pick at it with my fingers. Sometimes I'd go deeper. But thank God, that's behind me now. It’s just this sudden urge, this compulsion to pick, and I can't stop myself. Only after I give in does the impulse fade. But then the guilt kicks in about having done it, which creates more anxiety, which brings the impulse back. It’s just a cycle. It started when I was 12. Back then, I was diagnosed with anxiety and social phobia. Basically, I was using the picking to soothe all that anxiety I felt all these years. It started when I was just an innocent kid who didn't understand what was happening to me. I just knew I couldn't stop.
Things have been much better these last few months, though. Maybe the antidepressants helped lower my anxiety, so the urge isn't there as much. Since the unhealthy, unnecessary anxiety is gone, the picking is gone too. I don't even have panic attacks anymore. Honestly, if I have to take this medication for the rest of my life, I don't mind. As long as I feel better.

Frank Jackson5 said:I pick at it with my fingers. Sometimes I'd go deeper. But thank God, that's behind me now. It’s just this sudden urge, this compulsion to pick, and I can't stop myself. Only after I give in does the impulse fade. But then the guilt kicks in about having done it, which creates more anxiety, which brings the impulse back. It’s just a cycle. It started when I was 12. Back then, I was diagnosed with anxiety and social phobia. Basically, I was using the picking to soothe all that anxiety I felt all these years. It started when I was just an innocent kid who didn't understand what was happening to me. I just knew I couldn't stop.
Things have been much better these last few months, though. Maybe the antidepressants helped lower my anxiety, so the urge isn't there as much. Since the unhealthy, unnecessary anxiety is gone, the picking is gone too. I don't even have panic attacks anymore. Honestly, if I have to take this medication for the rest of my life, I don't mind. As long as I feel better.

I am so glad you're feeling better... I totally get where you're coming from. I actually said the exact same thing—that I’d happily take pills for the rest of my life if it meant I didn't have to go back to living such a low-quality existence. I started dealing with stuff like this during childhood too, but since I didn't realize what was actually happening, I just ignored it. It would come and go, but once I grew up and realized how heavy life actually is, things got even worse. I only experienced a full-blown panic attack once, and man, it was terrifying. Even back in my teens, I went to see a doctor, but they didn't really take it seriously and told me it was nothing. Looking back, maybe if I had actually started treatment then, I wouldn't be in this position now. But hey, I guess that's just how it goes. Take care...👍