Insomnia help?

You know... those days where you just wake up on the wrong side of the bed... it’s not even full-blown depression, it’s more like... a heavy, weary exhaustion of the soul (not to mention how much your body aches).
The starter kit for this mood is pretty simple: cigarettes, peanuts, total solitude, and nothing but depressing songs on repeat.
And damn... it just happens sometimes...
Deep down, you know the truth—you weren't really in love with him, but he was head over heels for her, and you just wanted him to feel that way about you, even though you couldn't return the feeling. It’s messy by nature.
But then these days hit, and you start spiraling, thinking about how it actually sucks that he didn't love you the way he loved her.
So you sit there listening to those sad tracks, and it feels like he wrote every single one of them specifically for her... and you find yourself wishing, just once, that someone would secretly dedicate one of those songs to you.
Then you light up a cigarette... and everything around you feels stupid. Including yourself. And of course, the rain is right there to make it worse.
How is it possible that I'm this selfish and messed up? Why can't I just enjoy being young while it lasts, instead of torturing myself with these thoughts about being unloved by someone who meant something to me, even if I didn't love him back? And yet... I still value my freedom so much...?
What's the deal?
Or am I just an incurable dreamer, convinced that I'll eventually find that one person to love—someone who will actually love me back—and suddenly these songs will take on a whole new meaning? They won't be depressing anymore; they'll be full of... LOVE?
I'm starting to hate that word... it just feels like a burden...

hey, I lit one up just for you 😉

it'll get better.......they say

propuh said:So, what's the deal here?
Am I just some hopeless romantic stuck dreaming about finding that one person to love—and actually being loved back—so my songs finally get this whole new dimension? Like, instead of being all heavy and depressing, they’d be filled with... LOVE?
Honestly, I'm starting to hate that word... it just feels like baggage.

At the end of the day, dreaming is pretty much all we've got left, if you ask me... 😉
We're always going to love someone in this life, even when we're old and grey hanging out in some assisted living facility, so there's no point stressing over it.
Not like I'm anyone to be handing out life advice and stuff anyway...😛

Carol Wilson14 said:I guess all we really have left is to dream, and honestly, that might just be the truth... 😉

Well, I mean, there’s probably a limit to that, right? If you spend too much time living in some imaginary world, you eventually have to face reality, and maybe—if you've drifted too far out there—it could actually crush you. It’s kind of like hitting a brick wall at 200 mph on a motorcycle... you wouldn't have anything left, just a trip to a mental health facility, I suppose. 🙄 🙄

Look, Steven Fowler5, if you don't know how to swim, you just grab some fins so you don't drown... kind of like when you're just drifting through your daydreams...🙄

siram on fire said:Well, Steven Fowler5, I guess if you don't know how to swim, you should probably just grab some fins so you don't sink... kind of like how you're just drifting along while you daydream...🙄

Hmm, I was actually thinking an inflatable life vest might be a better bet here. I mean, sure, I wouldn't be nearly as fast as I would be with fins, but I think I’d feel a whole lot more secure... and I could just slowly make my way toward my goal...😉

Propuh said:Things will improve... or so they say.

They say, do they? People certainly have a lot of theories.

But who are "they," really? It hardly matters—time is the only opponent no one can ever hope to defeat...

Propuh... just relax. Don't let the rain or whatever else is happening drag you down—not after what you said earlier.

Propuh said:why can't I just enjoy my youth while it lasts, knowing it’s never coming back?

That’s a powerful thought... though perhaps emphasize the part about it never returning. You're right—you have your whole life ahead of you, but what about everything you've already left behind?

Trust in that youth. Make the most of it.

What is wrong with you people? I can't believe some of you actually fall for the myth that love exists. Honestly... give me a break...😎

Nathan Taylor60 said:What is wrong with you people? You can't seriously be telling me you actually believe in love. Good grief... it just isn't real.😎

Love is subjective—everyone interprets it through their own lens, if you can even call it that.

Nathan Taylor60 said:What is wrong with you guys? Are you seriously telling me you actually believe in love??? Good grief... it just isn't real...😎

Well, I don't know about all that, but it feels like everything revolves around love anyway... I mean, I really think it exists. It’s probably one of the most beautiful things that could ever happen to someone. Personally, I'm still waiting for my turn, but I guess I still believe in it...👍 👍

It can be quite lovely to drift away in your own daydreams, isn't it, until reality delivers one of those sharp little jolts that pulls you right back down to earth?
After every single one of those wake-up calls, most people find themselves spiraling into deep analysis, obsessing over every tiny detail and trying to diagnose exactly where they went wrong or where things fell apart. But perhaps it’s best to just let things be, as there is a good chance that everything will eventually settle into place on its own given enough time.

Alyssa said:It’s all well and good to live in a dream world, but eventually, reality hits you like a freight train, dragging you back to earth whether you're ready or not.
Whenever things fall apart, most people go into this hyper-fixated mode where they dissect every single microscopic detail, obsessively overanalyzing every mistake they made or every wrong turn taken. It’s an exhausting cycle, but honestly, after enough time passes, the sting usually starts to fade.

The absolute hardest part, though, is trying to shake off that crushing sense of guilt. It’s like a boomerang—you throw it away, but it just circles back to strike you right where it hurts, day after day. But eventually, if you give it enough time, that weight finally begins to lift.👍