Spirituality: Am I just being an idiot?

Paul Campbell3 said:It's all about defensive rhetoric.
That’s the thing I’m really working on, because I know that letting go of that guard is where true freedom lives.
Some days I nail it, and some days I totally fail. 😁
But honestly? I'm trying to stop being so defensive.😉

So, don't go bowing down to me just yet—I'm still very much in the "learning how to be an idiot" phase.😁

🙂 You're pretty amazing...
But it makes me wonder: are you becoming immune to praise and admiration too?😉

I think there’s a massive connection here to how much our self-image relies on what everyone else thinks. Whether we want to admit it or not, we’re all incredibly sensitive to both criticism and praise. Honestly? I know I am.😁)

So what does it actually mean to look like a complete idiot? It means we’re dead in the water the second our actions don't line up with what everyone else expects, thinks, or perceives about us. We're basically just walking straight into a disaster because we didn't read the room.
So, basically, we’re letting other people define who we are. And honestly? That’s a trap. We’re handing over the reins, letting everyone else dictate our value—deciding when we’re supposed to be the geniuses and when we’re just the idiots. It’s a losing game.

This whole situation just drives us straight into frustration. It’s a total lose-lose. If someone tells us we're doing fine, we're good. But the second anyone suggests we aren't? We completely spiral.

So, how do we actually figure out when we've played ourselves? When do we realize we've been the idiots in the room?
That’s just what everyone else told us, isn't it? Maybe we felt like we were on top of the world at the time, but then someone finally stepped up and said: "What an idiot you are!"

Oh, please. Give me a break.👎
Another sleepless night spent spiraling over why I acted like such an absolute idiot. It’s hell. Honestly, I don't even need to list where this kind of headspace leads—I'm sure we've all been there.

So, here’s the thing: once you train people to expect you to act like a total idiot, you’re finally free. You’ve basically immunized yourself against criticism. If everyone already thinks you're a clown, they can't judge you anymore. They lose the power to decide who you are. You’re finally off the hook.

And honestly? It’s been such a beautiful experience. Zero bitterness. None.

Look, I’m just as susceptible to praise as I am to criticism.

I used to take every compliment with a massive grain of salt. Now? I'm actually working on learning how to just... accept them.
Honestly, taking a compliment was always harder for me than handling criticism, mostly because I grew up constantly being picked apart.😁

At the end of the day, I’m just trying to learn how to accept who I am.

If someone gives me a compliment and I feel that rush of emotion, I don't run away from it. I’m making a real effort not to lie to myself about what I'm feeling.
In other words, if someone praises me and I feel genuinely happy, I don't go running off shouting, "Buuuuuuu, I'm some enlightened guru who's above all this superficial stuff, it means nothing to me!"
That would be a total lie. Because I *did* feel that joy.

What matters way more to me than the praise or the insults is figuring out how to stop tying my entire identity to them.

Some days I win, some days I don't.😁😁

This whole thread is drifting way too far from what I actually asked. Everyone’s obsessed with this idea of "looking like an idiot," which basically implies you aren't actually stupid, you just messed up because you weren't paying attention.

For instance, I look back at some of my own posts from just a few years ago and I'm almost too embarrassed to even read them. They make me sound like a complete moron😁—even though back then, I honestly thought I was dropping some serious wisdom...

Paul Campbell3 said:...
Once you train the people around you to expect you to act like an idiot, you're finally immune to their criticism. You stop letting others define who you are.

It’s actually a wonderful feeling. No bitterness involved.

That is what we call integrity.🙂

🙂 🙂 🙂

Honestly, it really hurts. Like Jack Harris3 said, that’s just what growing up feels like.😁😁

What actually scares me is the thought of making the same stupid mistake all over again.😁😁

Paul Campbell3 said:... that’s just what growing up looks like😁😁

Honestly, I’m more worried about accidentally making the same stupid mistakes down the road...😁😁

I’ve never seen anyone act less mature than you... 😉

What exactly are you so afraid of? Why is the future suddenly so high-stakes and different from the past that you felt okay doing things then, but now you can't?
Don't you see how ridiculous that sounds? 😁
And to say that right after giving us that whole lecture on "freedom"... 😂 🙂

Maybe spend a little more time thinking about that one... 😁

Personally, I’ve had times where I can’t even bring myself to look at stuff I posted just a few years ago. It’s embarrassing. I read them back and they sound like some complete idiot wrote them—even though back then, I honestly thought I was being incredibly brilliant...

At least you know you aren't just spinning your wheels in circles.😁😉

Paul Campbell3 said:Honestly, I'm still pretty annoyed about how things went down before—like Pes said, that's just part of growing up.😁😁

I'm mostly just worried about making the same dumb mistakes down the road.😁😁

In my view, you can't actually build integrity without messing up while you're coming of age. Otherwise, you just end up being a boring, old fool.🙂

🙂 🙂 🙂

The past is gone and the future hasn't happened yet
— all we really have is this single, fleeting moment 😁

pardon my messy English😁

I could go on forever about this. I get the theory behind everything you’re saying, trust me.
But there's a massive gap between knowing something intellectually and actually living it.

The reality is, whenever I run into trouble regarding this stuff, I don't look back at my past mistakes. Instead, when anxiety kicks in, it's because I'm terrified of looking like an idiot down the road.

We're supposed to be being honest here, right? And look, I'm far from perfect.

Paul Campbell3 mentioned feeling ashamed when he looks back at how foolish he used to be, but my shame comes from worrying about how much of a fool I might become in the future if I don't fix myself right now.😁😁

Both his reaction and mine are totally irrational, obviously. It just shows how far we are from putting these theories into actual practice.

At least I'm not deluding myself into thinking I have it all figured out. It's easy to sit here and theorize until we're blue in the face, but real life is a different beast entirely.

I can say all kinds of things, but experience tells me I could still hit rock bottom tomorrow.

If I were actually enlightened and actually mastered everything I'm typing here, I probably wouldn't even be part of this conversation.
Until then, God help me. 😁😁😉

Imagine there’s no past or future—just right here, right now.🙂

But let’s be real for a second: how many of you actually live in the present?

I’ll be the first to admit it: I don't.😁

Paul Campbell3 said:befoodturntoshit said he feels ashamed looking back at how much of an idiot he used to be, but I feel ashamed thinking about what kind of idiot I might become in the future if I don't start working on myself right now.😁😁

Both his feeling and mine are irrational, obviously—it just shows how far we still have to go from theory to actual practice.

There’s nothing irrational about how I feel, and there isn't some "theory" I'm failing to live up to. I'm just stating a plain fact.
And I could prove it 😁 — but I'm not going to 😳

Paul Campbell3 said:🙂

Look, I’ll happily admit I’m an idiot—honestly, it’s the only way to make sure you don't end up looking like a total fool down the road.😁

But honestly, it always makes my day knowing I’m hanging out with people who get it.😁

Or, to put it more bluntly: I'm also a complete idiot😁

I'm coming straight to your house🙏

Paul Campbell3 said:it’s coming straight to your door🙏

Look, I'm not an idiot, so instead of getting defensive, I'll just tell you this:
if you hate me it is your problem - if you love me it is your problem

But honestly? Here is all I have to say: 👍 😁 🙂

Dragonfly said:I could say just about anything at this point, but if my gut is right, I might be on my knees by tomorrow...

And then what? Is it the end of the world for the 3,876th time? 😁

It’s pretty obvious you haven't learned much from everything that's happened before... 😛
The whole point isn't about refusing to kneel... the real trick is wearing good knee pads. 😁

Harold James9 said:You might just end up becoming a total old fool.🙂

That’s how it ends, right? We all basically die looking like idiots anyway. One way or another, we're all heading to the same finish line!🙂

Simone said:That’s how it ends. We all go out like fools eventually. One way or another, the result is the same. 🙂

Honestly, that final foolish act doesn't worry me one bit, but it is what it is.🙂

🙂 🙂 🙂