Why do we respect the elderly and people with disabilities?

Do you give up your seat on the bus, the subway, or in a waiting room to seniors and people with disabilities because:

...it’s just what you were raised to do.

...you genuinely feel bad for them.

...you know you’ll be old and less mobile one day too, and you're hoping someone will do the same for you when that time comes.

...you want everyone around you... to think you’re a good and selfless person.

...you believe it is MORALLY right to respect elders and those with disabilities.

Or...

I don't stand up for seniors or folks with disabilities because I just don't care about others... actually, I was taught to respect them... but I don't see the logic since there is no such thing as actual MORALITY... it's just a made-up concept used to force subjective rules and principles on people... my own personal principle is that I have the exact same rights to a seat as anyone else... whether they are healthy, old, young, or sick...

If you could back up your reasoning... why do you think your answer is the right one?

I don't necessarily get up every single time. If I notice someone struggling to stay upright, then I’ll stand. Or if there is an elderly person—regardless of gender—or perhaps someone with a restless child, I'll offer my seat. One has to realize that some people might feel patronized if we offer them a seat. Take blind individuals, for instance. I actually witnessed a situation once where a young man stood up for an elderly gentleman, roughly eighty years old, only for the man to snap back that he wasn't quite so decrepit that he couldn't handle standing for a few subway stops... and he refused to sit.
That is why I usually ask first: "Would you like to sit down?"
Regarding this, there was a rather cheeky incident back in high school: a guy asked an older lady, "Would you like to sit?" She said, "Yes, thank you," to which the brat replied, "Unfortunately, I need to sit too, so you'll have to find a spot somewhere else!" 😁

As for why I bother getting up? Initially, it was simply because I was taught to. Later on, I stopped doing it—or at least, very rarely. As I grew older, I started doing it again, though I’ll admit it’s a somewhat selfish motivation. Selfish? Perhaps. I stand up because it makes ME feel better; there is a certain satisfaction in performing a decent deed (at least for me). I don't expect any praise when I stand, but I am perfectly fine letting those who truly cannot stand take my seat. Now, if a healthy 60-year-old walks in, looking fit and not particularly exhausted, I don't feel an automatic obligation to stand just because they are older than me. Nor do I stand if someone demands it rudely. However, if someone actually asks me politely, I will always give up my seat to anyone who requests it.

On that note, here is a story from my former English teacher:
She was riding the subway, seated, with a young man sitting directly in front of her. An older gentleman boarded and began eyeing the young man quite rudely—muttering under his breath, acting quite cantankerous because he wanted a seat. My teacher stood up and offered him her seat:
"Please, take my seat!" To which he retorted:
"No, no, don't bother; there are plenty of younger people here who could stand instead."
"Oh, really? Well, thank you for the compliment."
"No, no... that's not what I meant..."
To that, my formidable teacher told him that if he wanted to sit, he should sit, and if he didn't, he shouldn't annoy everyone around him with that sour expression.

I’ll gladly give up my seat for anyone who actually looks like they need it more than I do, no questions asked.
It’s the same logic as why I might drop a few bucks into a pan for someone on the street while completely ignoring some high-priced professional who’s just looking for a handout.

And honestly, watching those poor, shivering old ladies scramble over an empty seat on the subway—it’s almost impressive how they can turn a simple commute into a full-contact sport that would make an NFL linebacker blush.
😉

It isn't about rights. It’s not even about respect. The elderly or those with disabilities don't have an inherent claim to it. It's about basic humanity. It costs you nothing to stand up, yet it's a massive gesture for them.

Same here, I don't just get up for no reason"
look, I don't sit around all day, but

when I see those people whose only real workout is sprinting to catch the subway before the doors slam shut... then I let 'em have a little extra room to do their little standing gymnastics... they need it... 😛 😛 😛

especially those ladies in their mid-50s😁 😁

heh......

...yeah, sure... whatever... I'm stepping aside for all those old folks, blah blah blah

I don't get it... seriously, what's the deal?

Grandmas constantly get up one stop early before they even hit their destination... then I just watch them stumble off the subway or bus... it makes zero sense. None! 😕
I just end up humming some tune about paranoia...
And I'm sitting there watching, waiting to see if someone's gonna fly across the car...
(thank God I haven't seen that happen yet)

The logic behind it is actually pretty straightforward: if I find myself drawn to someone, I just get up and go for it.

But what if we're talking about a grandfather here,
Jason Morgan7?
I’m completely on board with anyone who stands up to give their seat to someone who actually needs it. I mean, honestly, am I really going to sit there and watch someone with a disability or an elderly woman struggling just to stay upright on a subway train? It feels much more natural to just stand up rather than sitting there wondering if they're about to take a tumble onto the floor. And what, am I supposed to pull out my phone and film it like it's some hilarious viral video? That seems pretty messed up to me.

That's nonsense! A little bit of compassion for those who truly need it wouldn't hurt this world. If anything, it would make it better!

I once tried to grab a seat where some college kid had reserved it for his grandpa, but they kicked me out before I could even sit down.😳

zg_sash said:I honestly just feel bad for those elderly ladies who go absolutely feral over an empty seat, scattering half the passengers on the bus like they’re competing in a high-stakes rugby scrum.
😉

Right, because nothing says "graceful" quite like that predatory glare they give you when they're scouting for an opening... just hunting for a chair. It's adorable, really.😁 Then, the second they spot their target? Boom. They charge in like a pack of wolves out of a horror movie. It's like some primal instinct from the frontier days just never left them.😁

Personally, I don't bother sitting down at all. Stand up, sit down, stand up, sit down—it’s exhausting. Honestly, if someone feels the burning need to play musical chairs, let them deal with the hassle of getting up. I'm staying put.😁

Blue Eyes said:I don't get up for seniors or people with disabilities. Do I care about others? Not really. I was taught to respect them, but I don't see the logic. Is there even such a thing as MORAL... just an invented concept where subjective rules and principles are forced upon us? My own principle is simple: I have the same right to a seat as anyone else... whether they're healthy, old, young, or sick...

Oh man... things don't happen because they're "moral" or "immoral." They happen based on your level of awareness, consciousness, and sensitivity.
Morality is just a story for the ignorant. Things don't happen because I was taught to do them, but because I realized how they actually are.

I once rode a packed bus through the Himalaya. Every few minutes you're bouncing half a foot off the back seat just to stay upright. Landing isn't great either; the seats aren't exactly cushioned. There was this Dutchman, tall guy, struggling to stand on the steps because he felt "Moral" obligation to sit down, but there was nowhere left to go.
Then this little Indian guy—real tough mountain cat, used to the chaos—just stood up and gave him the spot. Honestly, I wouldn't have done it. My own awareness was pretty rattled at the time, and I was exhausted.

By an ignorant person's logic, the Indian had more right to the seat than the tired Dutchman. But that's just self-delusion. It's not about "who has more or less right to a damn seat," it's about individual consciousness.
That level of empathy from someone outside the West surprised me.
In America, empathy is something you only mention when someone dies and you say the right words. You need logic. Rights. A seat.

Man... maybe you're all just tired and old and broken like retirees...
Come on, live a little.

You hit the nail on the head, shadowgardener12. Modern society has basically turned us into mindless drones, dulling our emotions and stripping away our sensitivity. It feels like a huge chunk of our collective conscience has lost that fundamental sense of warmth and humanity we used to possess.

That story about the little Indian boy is truly beautiful. He still possesses a genuine connection to his conscience and a sense of true humanity. Honestly, I find myself feeling a bit envious of him.

But what if we're talking about a grandfather, Jason Morgan7?

The same logic applies to grandfathers, too.

blind eyes

...what they drilled into your heads.

...why you feel bad for them.

...because one day you'll be old and can barely move, praying you get a seat too.

...so everyone around you thinks you're some saintly, selfless hero.

...that it's "MORAL" to respect the elderly and people with disabilities.

or...

-----------------------

should this whole post have started with or?

either I gotta tell you none of these options work for me
they taught me how, but even if they didn't, I'd still stand up
don't feel bad for 'em
getting old isn't some excuse to be a jerk
everyone knows I'm a good, selfless person 😁 😁 😁 so no need
and that word "moral." What does that even mean? [especially if we're talking morals, like, what is that?............ just stuff that's polite or okay in society...]

yeah, I'll stand up just so people don't lose their minds on the subway
ha ha 😛

The neighborhood's out here trying to lecture me on morals. And apparently, "etiquette" is what the old ladies decided to write about.

I get what they're getting at. But honestly? Since older folks can actually handle standing up and moving around better than some lazy couch potatoes, I don't usually bother getting up for them.

I save my seats for the disabled, the sick, people struggling with health issues, and pregnant women.

Everyone else? Screw 'em.

Unless I'm in one of those moods where I feel like doing "good deeds" because I'm all about that love and light stuff...

mostly because I figure it’s just basic Christian stuff—love your neighbor and all that...

Is that what happens when you say something like, "Hey baby, come sit on my lap," to a woman who’s a bit more mature, say, around 25 😛? 😛

First off, I fail to see how giving up a seat on the subway has anything to do with showing "respect" to the people we’re yielding it to.
Respect—in my view—is completely irrelevant to this particular coordinate system. If I decide to stand up for some elderly lady who seems a bit disoriented due to Parkinson's, and I happen to know her personally as someone who is frankly quite a tedious conversationalist, I might just do it; otherwise, I am perfectly indifferent.

Secondly:

“They taught me to respect the elderly and the disabled... but I don't see the logic there because MORALITY doesn't exist... it's an invented concept onto which subjective rules and principles have been forced... my own subjective principle is that I have an equal right to a seat as anyone else... whether they are healthy, old, young, or sick...”

...I'm not sure if that was your personal stance or just a "canned response"?

Regarding that specific fragment—“morality doesn't exist... it's an invented concept onto which subjective rules and principles have been forced...”—I suspect that isn't actually the opinion of someone who, if I'm reading the subtext correctly, holds a degree in philosophy. It feels far too stereotypical and oversimplified for that.

I don't really have the bandwidth right now to go into an exhaustive lecture, so I'll just paste a snippet from the text of the lovely Buckminster Fuller, which I haven't read in its entirety, but is highly relevant here:

“Morality cannot be absolutized, nor is its universality timeless or superhuman; however, it is not left to the 'whims of the times' either, but rather takes root over longer periods as the core of a culture. By moving away from theological transcendentality, humanistic ethics retains a certain transcendence, allowing morality to adapt and evolve in accordance with new challenges...” and so on.

And, even though we occasionally "betray ourselves," I find myself signing off on what that being calling himself “jimmy” said: “things are done or not done based on your level of consciousness, awareness, and sensitivity.”

Or, to put it more precisely, I would add that the internal moral compass (a concept that was, by the way, rather crudely misappropriated by a certain presidential candidate who proudly declared himself such whenever he spoke of his own character🙂))) within me—or anyone else—"recognizes" a valid system of moral rules as specifically matching my own spontaneous internal feeling; or, to put it plainly, I have internalized it. Or perhaps, in some cases, the sequence is more accurate: one discovers the impulse within oneself first, and only later incidentally recognizes its broader, socially accepted label as a “moral act.”

(Of course, any BLIND adherence to prescribed rules is mere sheep behavior, just as an a priori rebellion against everything “generally accepted” falls under the category of blessed puberty—but isn't that obvious to any reasonably enlightened person?)

That said, the definition of altruism, sacrifice, and so on—specifically where the "limit" lies—could be a fascinating topic, provided it's being suggested. And tucked into that package, naturally, is that ancient, perpetually "revived" question: how effective or appropriate—or in line with a person's intimate sense of dignity—is the philosophy of "turning the other cheek"? Or, can love and related feelings toward someone or something be mandated, imposed, or taught? (Which, in most cases, I consider to be a form of absurd violence against one's own or another's emotional system, but there is much to be said there...).

Anyway, my legs and every other organ are failing me, so I'm heading to bed.

Goodnight to the midnight analysts, as well as the analysts of the night.

jimmy said: I was actually taken aback by that level of empathy coming from outside our usual circles.
In the States, we tend to only mention condolences when someone passes away, usually just through a few words. But you really need to have logic. Principles. A sense of duty.

🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
Finally, someone said it! 😉 Of course I respect every single person.
I don't see any reason why I should show more respect specifically to people with disabilities. 😕
Condolences aren't about pity—it’s simply an acknowledgment that we are all part of the same community. For those with physical disabilities, it means showing extra solidarity and being helpful. You can't just practice that by memorizing a set of social rules. To put it bluntly, Bon-ton is a poor substitute for a vigilant conscience. 😉

I make it a point to always offer my seat to pregnant women, people with disabilities, the elderly, and anyone else who clearly needs it more than I do.
It isn't physically taxing for me to stand up, but for them, it can be a genuine struggle.

That said, I haven’t ridden the subway in quite some time, so I can't speak to how things currently function on the ground.

Furthermore, I find the designated seating for those with disabilities to be somewhat problematic, though I personally never occupy those spots—strictly out of respect for the law.🙂