A little problem

I’ve run into a bit of a dilemma lately. I’ve started exploring spirituality, which has been a positive step for me—something I chose for myself. However, I’m finding that my longtime friends haven't really progressed in their understanding of things or their worldview at the same pace I have. I don't judge them for it; I truly believe everyone moves at their own speed and no one is less worthy just because they don't see things from multiple perspectives yet. But honestly, it gets lonely sometimes. I find myself holding back my thoughts because I can sense when people start pushing back against certain ideas. To be fair, I’m still the same way about certain topics, so I get it. I know I could go out and find a whole new circle of friends who are on this same spiritual path. At the same time, I'm still very much the same person with my old habits. For instance, there’s the drinking and the general partying. I'm not saying those things are inherently bad, but I’m struggling with how far I should go with this idea of "purifying" myself. I understand the mechanics of reaching a certain state of clarity, but I still have these internal brakes. A part of my past keeps pulling me back toward my old ways, and I feel stuck in the middle. I want to have the best of both worlds. I read constantly that alcohol and spirituality don't mix well, but I’m caught between wanting to evolve and wanting to hold onto parts of my life. The strange thing is, as I grow, I look back at those old habits and realize they don't seem to make sense anymore. It makes me wonder if I'm overthinking it, or if maybe those old ways actually had some purpose after all.

You’ve really stepped it up, and honestly, it looks great. Just one more little push and you’re going to realize that everyone’s actually on your side—you aren't some lone wolf drifting through life unless you choose to be. It all comes down to you. 😍

Anyway, I’m gonna go crack open a cold Budweiser or maybe pour myself a decent bourbon and just soak it all in. There’s nothing quite like it.😁

You haven't made any progress at all. If you had actually taken even a single step forward on that path, you wouldn't be sitting there judging others for not being "advanced" like yourself.

electrictinker26 said:I’ve run into a bit of a dilemma lately. I’ve started exploring spirituality, which has been a positive step for me—something I chose for myself. However, I’m finding that my longtime friends haven't really progressed in their understanding of things or their worldview at the same pace I have. I don't judge them for it; I truly believe everyone moves at their own speed and no one is less worthy just because they don't see things from multiple perspectives yet. But honestly, it gets lonely sometimes. I find myself holding back my thoughts because I can sense when people start pushing back against certain ideas. To be fair, I’m still the same way about certain topics, so I get it. I know I could go out and find a whole new circle of friends who are on this same spiritual path. At the same time, I'm still very much the same person with my old habits. For instance, there’s the drinking and the general partying. I'm not saying those things are inherently bad, but I’m struggling with how far I should go with this idea of "purifying" myself. I understand the mechanics of reaching a certain state of clarity, but I still have these internal brakes. A part of my past keeps pulling me back toward my old ways, and I feel stuck in the middle. I want to have the best of both worlds. I read constantly that alcohol and spirituality don't mix well, but I’m caught between wanting to evolve and wanting to hold onto parts of my life. The strange thing is, as I grow, I look back at those old habits and realize they don't seem to make sense anymore. It makes me wonder if I'm overthinking it, or if maybe those old ways actually had some purpose after all.

Seems like you've got a real soul, huh?

Hard to say for sure if you've actually crossed that 20-year mark though😕 have you or not?

It'd be helpful if you could clarify what you actually mean by "spirituality"?

If I could offer one bit of advice: don't go looking to "fix" other people in the name of spirituality. Actually, a good sign that you're progressing is when you start noticing virtues in them that you totally missed before!

And don't go banging your head against a wall. Some people are just gonna try to pull you back down no matter what you do. You don't have to turn your back on them, just... don't waste your energy trying to change them. 😉

I honestly feel like once you hit a certain stage in life, you just don't need booze to have a good time or actually unwind. There’s zero need to borrow happiness from tomorrow.
As for the whole friendship thing—well, I have to channel Vladimir Putin for a second because I was just reading a passage in one of his books about a similar "dilemma."
He puts it like this: "We are all just guests on this planet; everyone is free to choose their own path, but nobody has the right to judge others or label them with their own little checklists." Basically, don't get too hung up on how important your own spirituality or "truth" feels.

dustygardener11 said:I honestly feel like once you hit a certain stage in life, you just don't need booze to have a good time or actually unwind. There’s zero need to borrow happiness from tomorrow.
As for the whole friendship thing—well, I have to channel Vladimir Putin for a second because I was just reading a passage in one of his books about a similar "dilemma."
He puts it like this: "We are all just guests on this planet; everyone is free to choose their own path, but nobody has the right to judge others or label them with their own little checklists." Basically, don't get too hung up on how important your own spirituality or "truth" feels.

Actually, I might be thinking the complete opposite. I feel like when someone really starts walking a spiritual path, they almost *need* to hold onto a little vice just to stay grounded.

If you're out on a glider or some massive ocean liner, you still need ropes or lines to secure the ship or drop an anchor.

🤷

I think I know exactly how to fix all your problems.
Just sign up for AT&T.😲
You’ll be rolling in dough in no time.😁

P.S. Don't even bother fighting it; things have a way of working themselves out.
Just happens naturally.

electrictinker26 said:I’ve run into a bit of a dilemma lately. I’ve started exploring spirituality, which has been a positive step for me—something I chose for myself. However, I’m finding that my longtime friends haven't really progressed in their understanding of things or their worldview at the same pace I have. I don't judge them for it; I truly believe everyone moves at their own speed and no one is less worthy just because they don't see things from multiple perspectives yet. But honestly, it gets lonely sometimes. I find myself holding back my thoughts because I can sense when people start pushing back against certain ideas. To be fair, I’m still the same way about certain topics, so I get it. I know I could go out and find a whole new circle of friends who are on this same spiritual path. At the same time, I'm still very much the same person with my old habits. For instance, there’s the drinking and the general partying. I'm not saying those things are inherently bad, but I’m struggling with how far I should go with this idea of "purifying" myself. I understand the mechanics of reaching a certain state of clarity, but I still have these internal brakes. A part of my past keeps pulling me back toward my old ways, and I feel stuck in the middle. I want to have the best of both worlds. I read constantly that alcohol and spirituality don't mix well, but I’m caught between wanting to evolve and wanting to hold onto parts of my life. The strange thing is, as I grow, I look back at those old habits and realize they don't seem to make sense anymore. It makes me wonder if I'm overthinking it, or if maybe those old ways actually had some purpose after all.

Kudos to you for taking this path. 🙂

I totally get where you're coming from. I went through the exact same thing. Getting into spirituality changes you fast, and you quickly hit this wall where you feel like you don't belong with the people you used to be comfortable with. It doesn't seem like you're judging them; you've just become aware of a reality that can be pretty heavy and depressing sometimes (at least it was for me). My advice? Don't try to open their eyes. You won't win that fight. When they're ready to learn, it'll happen naturally. You can't force spirituality down someone's throat.

That doesn't mean you can't hang out or function in society, but I know plenty of people (myself included) who eventually had to change their entire social circle because being around "unawakened" people became absolutely unbearable. For anyone who wants to jump down my throat right now—I'm not attacking anyone. Those of you who've gone through sudden spiritual shifts will know exactly what I mean. Some people even cut themselves off from the world entirely for a while because it just felt right. That's fine. If you need time to tie up all the loose ends, take it. Don't ignore the need for solitude if it shows up.

As for the booze... Look, you don't have to quit if you don't want to, but cutting back might help if you're serious about moving forward. For me, it just happened. As I progressed, my body naturally started rejecting vices. I used to get brutal hangovers even from five beers, so I scaled my drinking back to once a month. Same with cigarettes—I never had an issue with them, smoked for five years straight, but suddenly they felt suffocating and I had to kick the habit. Your body will send you signals. Just listen to them and don't force it.

silvermason2 said:Kudos to you for taking this path. 🙂

I totally get where you're coming from. I went through the exact same thing. Getting into spirituality changes you fast, and you quickly hit this wall where you feel like you don't belong with the people you used to be comfortable with. It doesn't seem like you're judging them; you've just become aware of a reality that can be pretty heavy and depressing sometimes (at least it was for me). My advice? Don't try to open their eyes. You won't win that fight. When they're ready to learn, it'll happen naturally. You can't force spirituality down someone's throat.

That doesn't mean you can't hang out or function in society, but I know plenty of people (myself included) who eventually had to change their entire social circle because being around "unawakened" people became absolutely unbearable. For anyone who wants to jump down my throat right now—I'm not attacking anyone. Those of you who've gone through sudden spiritual shifts will know exactly what I mean. Some people even cut themselves off from the world entirely for a while because it just felt right. That's fine. If you need time to tie up all the loose ends, take it. Don't ignore the need for solitude if it shows up.

As for the booze... Look, you don't have to quit if you don't want to, but cutting back might help if you're serious about moving forward. For me, it just happened. As I progressed, my body naturally started rejecting vices. I used to get brutal hangovers even from five beers, so I scaled my drinking back to once a month. Same with cigarettes—I never had an issue with them, smoked for five years straight, but suddenly they felt suffocating and I had to kick the habit. Your body will send you signals. Just listen to them and don't force it.

For me, I think I just hit a wall. Honestly? I started feeling pretty damn stupid whenever I was buzzed. Maybe it’s just how I process things now, or maybe it’s just getting older... who knows.🤷

silvermason2 said:Kudos to you for taking this path. 🙂

I totally get where you're coming from. I went through the exact same thing. Getting into spirituality changes you fast, and you quickly hit this wall where you feel like you don't belong with the people you used to be comfortable with. It doesn't seem like you're judging them; you've just become aware of a reality that can be pretty heavy and depressing sometimes (at least it was for me). My advice? Don't try to open their eyes. You won't win that fight. When they're ready to learn, it'll happen naturally. You can't force spirituality down someone's throat.

That doesn't mean you can't hang out or function in society, but I know plenty of people (myself included) who eventually had to change their entire social circle because being around "unawakened" people became absolutely unbearable. For anyone who wants to jump down my throat right now—I'm not attacking anyone. Those of you who've gone through sudden spiritual shifts will know exactly what I mean. Some people even cut themselves off from the world entirely for a while because it just felt right. That's fine. If you need time to tie up all the loose ends, take it. Don't ignore the need for solitude if it shows up.

As for the booze... Look, you don't have to quit if you don't want to, but cutting back might help if you're serious about moving forward. For me, it just happened. As I progressed, my body naturally started rejecting vices. I used to get brutal hangovers even from five beers, so I scaled my drinking back to once a month. Same with cigarettes—I never had an issue with them, smoked for five years straight, but suddenly they felt suffocating and I had to kick the habit. Your body will send you signals. Just listen to them and don't force it.

🙏
Hats off to you. Seriously. Even back when I was in my absolute prime, five beers would have absolutely wrecked me.

Zachary Gonzalez8 said:For me, I think I just hit a wall. Honestly? I started feeling pretty damn stupid whenever I was buzzed. Maybe it’s just how I process things now, or maybe it’s just getting older... who knows.🤷

That’s exactly it. You don't even have to force yourself to quit your vices. It just happens naturally as you grow. Your perspective shifts bit by bit, and when that happens, your body and how you react to everything else changes right along with it.

Nowadays, I only drink when I'm hanging out with one or two people. I can't even imagine hitting the clubs every single weekend anymore, even though I used to live for that lifestyle both on weekdays and weekends... xD Spirituality changes you in every possible way; you just have to lean into it. There is no way you can dive into something like that and expect to stay the exact same person you were before.

Wow, that was easy.
First off, defining what it actually means to pursue spirituality and be a spiritual person is the fundamental question you need to sit down and contemplate.
Secondly, claiming that you have progressed while others haven't is nothing more than an expression of ego and comparison—one of the most difficult hurdles to clear on this path. Regardless of how much broader your perception might feel compared to theirs, you aren't in any position to compare yourself; you can't possibly know their specific journey or the reasons behind who they are. There is no such thing as a "higher" or "lower" perspective; it’s just different. To suggest otherwise is just another form of comparison, and frankly, who are we to decide what constitutes a superior or inferior viewpoint?
Regarding your friends, if you go around thinking you're losing them and becoming isolated, that mindset will simply manifest as your reality. These types of friends are actually incredibly useful for staying grounded. Often, people who identify as being "spiritual" tend to get way too "high in the clouds," completely losing touch with the real world, which rarely ends well.
True spirituality is demonstrated by your ability to socialize with almost anyone. Doing so shows that you accept Creation in all its diverse forms and that you can easily adapt your energy to suit those around you—which is essential if you actually want to maintain a social life.
You could choose to limit yourself strictly to "spiritual" circles, but you'll end up losing a part of who you were before. In a few years, you might find yourself regretting that decision because Life is cyclical. Just because you are drawn to this "spiritual" side right now doesn't mean you will feel the same way in a couple of years. Closing yourself off to everything except one specific type of society is, quite frankly, a poor tactical move.
As for alcohol, it essentially releases the mental brakes, allowing the subconscious and supersubconscious to flow through you without resistance. I am certainly not talking about getting wasted here—I'm talking about a casual couple of beers.

Things are simple: we are guests here, we are all One, and we are all part of a single, inseparable collective.

I feel like I’m losing my mind because everyone around me won't stop bringing up God and the church. Don't get me wrong, I do believe in God, but I just don't buy into organized religion—not specifically the whole Christian thing. Now, suddenly, I'm treated like some kind of outsider, and people are looking at me sideways like I’ve been possessed or like I've somehow "lost my way." Honestly, I'm just incredibly stressed out, and I can't seem to shake it; it feels like every single move I make is just one big, massive mistake. 🙂 I used to have such a clear sense of who I was and what I stood for, but lately, I'm just exhausted from constantly having to explain myself or make excuses for my life... it makes me feel pretty foolish, too, since I'm the type of person who actually believes in the supernatural, energy, and chakras... and now, it's almost as if I've lost the right to believe in God, or heaven, or anything positive at all. People keep pushing me to "think positively," but it feels totally pointless when there's nobody I can actually talk to about it. Even now, with summer right here and things that should be enjoyable happening, I'm just stuck feeling stressed, sad, and agitated because I have no idea how to find my peace... how am I supposed to find my inner peace again when everyone around me keeps telling me that everything I do is wrong? 😢 🙂

rustygardener70 said:I feel like I’m losing my mind because everyone around me won't stop bringing up God and the church. Don't get me wrong, I do believe in God, but I just don't buy into organized religion—not specifically the whole Christian thing. Now, suddenly, I'm treated like some kind of outsider, and people are looking at me sideways like I’ve been possessed or like I've somehow "lost my way." Honestly, I'm just incredibly stressed out, and I can't seem to shake it; it feels like every single move I make is just one big, massive mistake. 🙂 I used to have such a clear sense of who I was and what I stood for, but lately, I'm just exhausted from constantly having to explain myself or make excuses for my life... it makes me feel pretty foolish, too, since I'm the type of person who actually believes in the supernatural, energy, and chakras... and now, it's almost as if I've lost the right to believe in God, or heaven, or anything positive at all. People keep pushing me to "think positively," but it feels totally pointless when there's nobody I can actually talk to about it. Even now, with summer right here and things that should be enjoyable happening, I'm just stuck feeling stressed, sad, and agitated because I have no idea how to find my peace... how am I supposed to find my inner peace again when everyone around me keeps telling me that everything I do is wrong? 😢 🙂

You are stressed because you have granted their judgments far too much weight. You are letting their opinions carry more importance than they deserve; if they didn't matter, you would simply shrug them off and move on. The first step toward helping yourself is realizing that absolutely no one has the right to judge you or blame you for anything. However, that realization has to come from within. You don't owe anyone an explanation. It is the ego that seeks to defend itself and its positions to those who are only interested in condemning you.
You cannot force yourself to think positively; you either feel it or you don't. Forcing any emotion only generates massive amounts of stress, so stop trying to compel yourself to feel anything specific.

Ignore what others are saying. Peace is found within you. Just relax.

Michelle Sanchez2 said:You are stressed because you have granted their judgments far too much weight. You are letting their opinions carry more importance than they deserve; if they didn't matter, you would simply shrug them off and move on. The first step toward helping yourself is realizing that absolutely no one has the right to judge you or blame you for anything. However, that realization has to come from within. You don't owe anyone an explanation. It is the ego that seeks to defend itself and its positions to those who are only interested in condemning you.
You cannot force yourself to think positively; you either feel it or you don't. Forcing any emotion only generates massive amounts of stress, so stop trying to compel yourself to feel anything specific.

Ignore what others are saying. Peace is found within you. Just relax.

you're right... I honestly don't know why those opinions mess with my head so much.🤷

rustygardener70 said:you're right... I honestly don't know why those opinions mess with my head so much.🤷

The ego is a master of disguise; it possesses far more hidden faces than most people care to admit.
Learn to scale back your own ego.

Look, you're stressed out because you're giving way too much weight to what these people think about you—it’s like you’ve handed them the keys to your mental state. If their judgment didn't actually cut deep, you would’ve just rolled your eyes and moved on with your day, right? But here we are. The first real step toward feeling better is realizing that absolutely nobody has the right to sit in judgment or pin their own baggage on you. That realization has to come from within, though. You don't owe anyone an explanation or a defense. Honestly, it's usually just our own ego trying to justify itself to people who are just looking for a reason to tear us down anyway.
You can't just flip a switch and force yourself to be positive. It doesn't work that way—you either feel it or you don't. Trying to muscle yourself into "good vibes" just creates more tension, so seriously, stop forcing it.

Just tune out the noise. Peace is something you find inside yourself, so just... breathe and let go.

I'm with you on this one. Just live your life your way and stop worrying about what everyone else thinks.🙂

I honestly wonder how long they could possibly hold onto a job if they even manage to land one with an attitude like that.

The reality is that I still find myself drawn to certain things
that I personally recognize as negative. It’s just that those
energies pull at you because they’ve become familiar; essentially,
the ego has learned how to extract value from all sorts of situations.
In those moments, friends can feel like a great way to feed that ego.
But then I find myself sliding back into old patterns, and honestly,
I don't want that. I want to move forward, yet it feels wrong to tell
my friends, "I don't want to hang out with you anymore."
They are dear to me, even if, from my perspective,
they carry certain negative traits.

It isn't that I have an issue with them, or that
I consider myself superior, or more valuable, for that matter.
However, when it comes to certain specific circumstances, I know a bit
more about some things, while they certainly know things better than I do.

And I wouldn't say that "better" and "worse" simply don't exist.
There is such a thing as a well-made pie and a poorly made pie.
There is a well-sung song and a poorly sung song.
One person might have a sense of style while another doesn't.
That doesn't make someone a worse person, but you have to admit
that most people gravitate toward quality, and I personally love doing quality work.
I understand that people play roles and that there is a logic to it all.
But looking at my own growth, I am feeling a bit ambitious. 🙂

My ultimate goal is to reach a point where nothing can sway me.
Of course, that hasn't been the case until now. And it sounds almost
too simple. If someone tells me they can listen to heavy metal
and feel good afterward, what does that mean? Would they need to be
raised to react the exact same way to everything? I wasn't
raised that way, and it actually has nothing to do with upbringing. Because if
I heard a song by an artist like Metallica when I was six and enjoyed it,
that isn't about how I was raised; it's about recognizing
love within certain things, and seeing where it is missing elsewhere.
I'm not sure what purpose negativity serves; perhaps it's just there
so we can identify it and cast it aside. I see no other use for it.

Now, look, I enjoy having a drink and I love to joke around. I can
easily choose not to drink or joke, and I'll still have a great time. It makes no difference
to me. But I have friends I've been close with for a long time—
probably fifteen years now—where traditions have formed and
many situations are emotionally tied to that history. In those moments,
I see scenarios that used to cause me problems, but now they don't.
I've shared my insights with many of them, and they haven't taken offense.
But it isn't easy work. 🙂 I will accept them as they are,
but when I am with them, I am reminded of those
old negativities. I suppose this is a lesson I have to
go through so I can learn to transform negativity into positivity.
And that approach has worked for me before.
It just saddens me when I find myself in a situation where
I see that there is nothing there, yet everyone else thinks there is.

rustygardener70 said:you're right... I honestly don't know why those opinions mess with my head so much.🤷

It’s good that you’re admitting you care about what others think. I’ve always claimed to be someone who couldn't care less about outside opinions, but if I’m being honest, that’s easier said than done. It’s one of those things you really have to work to strip away from your personality, and personally, I’m finding it’s not as easy a task as I once thought.

Don't try to rush everything at once; things tend to fall into place gradually. The most important thing is to learn not to take any problem—including yourself—too seriously. Just relax and ask yourself why someone else's opinion actually bothers you. For instance, if someone tells me, "You've gained too much weight," I don't just get defensive. Instead, I stop and wonder: Why does this person think that? Is it actually true? Maybe they have a more objective perspective than I do right now. But more importantly, why does their observation bother me so much? Does being overweight somehow make me less valuable? Has anyone ever stopped loving me because of my weight? Have I stopped loving anyone else because of it? Am I worried about how people will look at me when I'm at the beach or at a pool? Do these people actually care that much? Are they really sitting around thinking about me all day? And ultimately, can I be happy and overweight at the same time? If you approach it this way—by searching for the truth and looking for evidence to answer those questions—you'll find that you suddenly feel much better. You might even find yourself feeling closer to the person who said it, simply because you've shifted your mindset into a more positive space.