AMC Theatres schedule

Feeling a little bored, so I'm scanning the theater listings for something to watch. Going through everything available and realizing I have absolutely nothing to see... in this state of psychological unrest, I'm basically just jotting down my internal monologue while trying to decide whether or not to commit to a movie... //ps. as you can tell from the attached, I've been thinking in English lately.... so... sorry about that 😉 😁

The 40-Year-Old Virgin Is this actually meant to be funny? Only if there's actually such a thing as a 40-year-old virgin...
The Aristocrats Stand-up comedians should probably just stick to the clubs and those 22-minute sitcoms...
The Bad News Bears Jeez...
The Brothers Grimm Watched it!
The Cave Was looking for Spider-Man... excuse me, Batman...
Chicken Little Yeah... cool...
The Chronicles of Narnia Title's way too long... unwatchable...
The Constant Gardener Not really into gardening...
Cry Wolf Seriously, how many horror movies can you squeeze into a single year...
Deuce Bigalow: Male Educator Oh... so that means the first one was actually funny...
The Devil's Rejects Maybe...
Domino When I caught the trailer, I thought it was Wynona Rider, not Domino... but no... it was Beckham...
Doom A game turned into a movie... isn't it usually the other way around?
Dreamer A small, cute, super smart, and occasionally devious kid who makes you laugh and cry... nah... I've got one of those at home...
The Dukes of Hazzard I'll just wait for the DVD so I can actually control the frame rate, pause, and rewind...
Elizabethtown Skip
The Exorcism of Emily Rose Could be interesting... but you know how it goes... the trick is waiting for something familiar, but then they throw something "unexpected" at you...
The Family Stone Had to check IMDb... and honestly, wasting two seconds is enough for me...
Flightplan Let me get this straight... I'm on this plane and I don't even know where my daughter went... khm... pass...
The Fog Skip
Four Brothers A new spin on the already messy world of foster homes... khm... skip
The Great Raid Might be interesting...
The Greatest Game Ever Played I thought this was a movie about a game of tag or something... turns out it's about baseball... talk about cultural differences...
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire Could be interesting...
IMAX: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire See above
A History of Violence Watched it!!!
Hustle & Flow Khm... skip
In Her Shoes Everyone has smelly shoes... so... skip
Into the Blue Niiiiiiceeeee.... SKIP!
The Island Hey, it's Mr. Bay... could be a massive waste of time...
Just Like Heaven Just looked at the poster and made my decision right then and there... SKIP!
The Legend of Zorro Could be good... Catherine Zeta-Jones is still the best-looking woman in Hollywood...
Lord of War Gone in 60 minutes... except this time it's about weaponry... SKIP
Samuel L. Jackson Can Samuel L. Jackson be any less cool? Well... apparently he can...
Must Love Dogs Definitely skipping this one...
North Country Got to see it... sorry, but I've always been a sucker for those slim, beautiful blondes in movies who can actually act...
Oliver Twist Watched it!
Pride and Prejudice Read it! Twice... no real need to see it on screen...
Prime Had to look it up, and I've now officially wasted a total of four seconds on the "time-wasting scale"...
Red Eye Word on the street is... watching this is painful... so... SKIP!!!
Rent Look, I hate musicals... and this is a musical... so... what do you think? SKIP!
Roll Bounce I don't even want to know what this is...
Saw II I saw Saw I twice... that should be plenty to cover Saw II...
Serenity That title alone puts me off... feels like some weird cult promising eternal happiness, when all they really want is ten bucks and two hours of your life...
The Skeleton Key Alright... I've been mulling this one over... unlock what, exactly? A skeleton key is transparent... so, what's it opening? If they had called it the Pajama Key, maybe I'd be interested...
Skip! Sky High
What a killer title... now please, just go away... A Sound of Thunder
Actually sounds pretty intriguing... I've been hearing whispers about an Oscar... something like... some guy named Oscar... he supposedly lost his lunch watching this... though, honestly, probably just gossip... Stay
Yeah... no... I'm passing on this one... Supercross: The Movie
Skip! Tim Burton's Corpse Bride
It! Transporter 2
Wait, didn't the first one end with the Transporter getting shipped off to some God-forsaken corner of the map? Or am I thinking of something else? Whatever... Skip! Two for the Money
Sure... two movies for the price of one... one great film and the one you're stuck watching... Underclassman
Who's actually interested? Sounds like a movie about a bunch of nobodies... skip. Undiscovered
Oh, look, an "undiscovered" piece of junk... Hint: features a hot sister... Valiant
Animation... yeah, I'll pass. Venom
A horror flick with the tagline “He Never Hurt A Soul Until The Day He Died”? Sounds absolutely fantastic! Skip! Waiting
Some silly, crude comedy about the chaos in a restaurant kitchen... I think I'll pass. I'd prefer to keep believing that restaurants actually provide top-tier service... watching this would feel like a devout believer sitting through a lecture on pure logic and reason... Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit
Skip. The Weather Man
Cage... again. I've officially declared a one-year moratorium on Nicolas Cage films... which brings my total count of skipped movies to twenty... Where the Truth Lies
Might actually be decent... Wolf Creek
Catchy title... but where's the rest of it? Skip!

I suspect this year’s harvest is proving to be quite poor.
Last week, faced with a similarly lackluster lineup, I found myself forced to sit through Batman Begins.

I'm not gonna lie to you. ☕

...WOW! Talk about a letdown—and here I was thinking the movie scene in Washington, D.C. was lacking! Turns out it’s actually better than what they’ve got going in New York City. Sure, we’re lagging way behind you guys, but at least right now we can actually catch some decent movies in theaters (Last Days—finally!, a week of local indies, whatever Iva put together...)...

...Still, I am beyond jealous of "Where the Truth Lies"—that kind of "sweet" festival darling that probably won't even get a screening here. And starring Kevin Bacon? Now that's actually something! 👍 So, seriously—get to the theater ASAP!!! And you absolutely have to tell me if the movie was any good 😁

Wolf Creek is actually a really solid movie... and Batman Begins is just top-tier...

Some movies don't even drop until December. Why does Canada get films before the USA?

Or are they just Canadian versions?

😁

There’s this whole thing called a "limited release" where they drop a movie in just a few "selected cities." If you happen to live in one of those spots, you get an early look. Then you just spin a yarn about how incredible the film is, give it two thumbs up, and suddenly you're pocketing a cut of the box office revenue... 😬

But honestly... New York City is basically a tiny town in the North of the USA when it comes to movies... especially when we're talking indie or art house stuff... you know how it is. 😉

Now, there's something actually pretty great here... just a few minutes from my workplace, there's the National Film Board of Canada. You can't really get any films made without them... at least, that's my take... given their involvement in so many projects... and they have this neat setup where you can walk in and watch anything they have in their archive at a dedicated viewing station... it's super cool for documentaries and things like that... a solid foundation for filmmakers like Ed Wood... 😬



But seriously... just head over to http://www.nfb.ca and check out what they're doing...

Man, what a terrible schedule when they aren't playing A Wonderful Night in Split... 😁