An Open Letter

OPEN LETTER REGARDING MEMPHIS HOSPITAL
(HOW I KILLED MY MOTHER!)
I have to thank—though they're the minority—the ICU staff and
surgery teams who actually tried to help... to save my mother's life or at least ease her
agony. People with actual hearts: Dr. Smith, Dr. Kamal, Dr. Forest (who fought
tooth and nail for her, but was basically fighting alone in that battle!),
Dr. Lazar; the nurses and techs: Jane, Xenia, Dorothy, Valerie, Dario, Tomislav
and Harvey (ICU), Elvira and Jerry (Surgery).
Just my bitter, tragic experience at "my" hospital... the one I ran to with such
trust when my mom was in unbearable pain for 20 days, through:
ER, surgical outpatient, surgery ward, the ICU...
every single one of them is a nightmare.
I've had bad experiences elsewhere, but this was the breaking point. For my
mother, it's too late now. For me, there's no comfort...
My mother didn't die from a disease called "being 78." It was a case of
massive human error and negligence at this hospital. These complications built up over years...
The specialists missed why she was even sick because they were too busy
obsessing over her age. That's how they treated her. So basically🙏 whatever happens to her
isn't urgent, and what hurts isn't that painful...
When things got critical and she started dying in agony (she spent 3
weeks in surgery and 4.5 months in the ICU), everyone marveled at how hard she fought
to live. UNBELIEVABLE. Like, it's as if they didn't want her to die... that's my takeaway.
I thought it was good that she wanted to live, and that if they couldn't help,
we'd find someone else. God, I was naive. "Well, she's old"—
UNFORGIVABLE. Why did she have to die like this, because of pure negligence?
Within 24 hours, her body was so "ruined" I didn't have the heart to let them
cut her up for the autopsy...
GENTLEMEN! YOU BROUGHT ME TO MY KNEES!
I'm not a doctor, so I won't pretend to judge their expertise. And besides
—who am I? But I have to talk about the human element. From day one, the treatment
was terrifying and degrading. First in the ER, where they treated my mother,
who was in massive pain, and then me... terrified and panicking, just getting kicked out
of the unit. Same thing happened in the ICU. It’s beneath human dignity...
In the ICU, before they intubated her, Mom told me countless
times how much she feared the crowd of "nurses," techs, and certain doctors. She was especially scared of
Dr. Shipley, Dr. Martin, "nurse" Eva Perón, and Lily the Sorceress. A horrible experience...
same deal in surgery.
In the ICU, I watched my mother—with a tube in her lungs, so she couldn't call out,
speak, or even moan—desperately grab the hands of nurses
Dorothy and Xenia, begging them not to leave her to the next shift. TERRIBLE.
How am I supposed to interpret a mother's desperate plea like that?
I honestly don't get what kind of protocol you follow... or where you get the
right to act so poorly toward elderly patients, and then expect empathy from us
family members watching it happen...
Man, I wish you could feel that helplessness and humiliation... seeing a loved one suffer
while their life is stripped away, feeling that total lack of warmth and understanding... especially since
you chose this difficult, responsible job. How is it possible that the nurses and
techs mentioned above, doing the same work, under the same conditions, for the same pay
as everyone else, can be so short on love, warmth, and basic compassion for a patient's suffering... without all the arrogance?
According to who?! Since when does this majority have any right to be so arrogant, cold, and just plain inhuman...
Ruining the reputation of the top brass at my hospital in Memphis... just because of how they act...
My mom went through absolute hell with all those admissions, treatments, and endless protocols... For me now...
Rough ending... especially since my mom passed away too. Whatever, there's plenty more where that came from...
That’s exactly how our experts look at things... shame on them...
To all you pros out there—doctors, nurses, techs... honestly, from the bottom of my heart...
Longer life... maybe...
I hope you never have to deal with an "old age" illness like my mom has...
If you think being "urgently" admitted is fast... forget it. It took twenty days back then. If it wasn't for Dr. Smith...
They would've treated her a day earlier if they'd caught that last diagnosis... bladder infection...
To get that Memphis team-style treatment—you know, the actual human touch, the care, the real attention...
What would have happened if Dr. Forest hadn't stepped in? Honestly... I can't even imagine...
Even my mom was going through hell...
If your loved ones get to be there to watch everything go down during treatment... then...
You have no idea... the actual agony my mom went through...
Hopefully my mom's treatment results come through for me too...
I'll force myself to... when I actually need medical help, I'll take you guys on...
I deserve the punishment... I just can't forgive myself for looking for help in the wrong place and putting my girl in this position...
God help her... when she had to go through that hell alone—not just the treatment, but everything else too. I will... She'll get her chance eventually...
Go ahead and take it out on me too...
My blind faith in the professionalism of these "experts" ended up costing my mother her life...
Well, that's it... I actually killed my own mother.
A public statement...
Don't just sit there and take it when things aren't fair... no matter where you are...
Sometimes we're gonna have to go looking for their "help," because when things actually...
It hurts... we won't have the luxury to just "go somewhere else." I'm certain of it...
That’s when they'll finally get you...
Your silence just makes their job easier...
Daniel Cook10

Dear Vera, I am so incredibly sorry 😢
You’re right—you shouldn't have had to stay silent. You should have spoken up at the very first sign of that agonizing, spasmodic grip. Unfortunately, you learned that lesson the hardest way possible. Don't be surprised if this open letter of yours ends up triggering even more painful lessons down the road. You've gone after the staff, but since you declined an autopsy (which, in my opinion, is understandable), you lack the hard evidence or any actual leverage to purge negligent people from the medical system. As it stands, your tragic story is just one more drop in the bucket—just another shot fired into the fog.
I feel for you; I lost my own mother during her final moments and I know that specific kind of pain, so I can only imagine how much worse it is when you're watching systemic failures by doctors and nurses happen right in front of your eyes.
I truly hope you find some peace of heart.

Honestly, just pathetic and heartbreaking.

So, I recently went to the ER because the pain was getting unbearable, but the nurse at intake basically told me to just go home. Her whole excuse? She said the meds need like ten days to even kick in. I just turned around and walked out... I mean, who knows if I’d even be standing here right now.
After they rushed through some tests and gave me this terrible diagnosis, she just sat there in silence. It was like she didn't even know how to handle it. If I wasn't already feeling so sick and overwhelmed, I would've lost it. We really need people willing to speak up for those who can't—people who are helpless, just like your mother.

My heart goes out to you. Truly sad.

Dear Vera, I went through the exact same thing. My mother had a similar experience to yours, except in our case, the doctors just kept passing the buck to one another instead of actually doing anything to fix the problem.... In the end, she passed away from septic shock and multiple organ failure... She was only 42... Hang in there. 🙂

My mother passed away from septic shock, too. She was 68. The shock set in after she’d been running a fever for several days, and despite me constantly warning them, they just... didn't react. It’s like they just let a simple urinary tract infection spiral into urosepsis and then full-blown septic shock. I honestly don't understand why they didn't take any action. From what I could see, even after they got the urine culture results back, they didn't even administer the right antibiotics. It seems like Mercy Hospital clearly doesn't have an Infectiologist on staff, so maybe they don't even know how to treat something like this. If that was the case, they should have told us, and we would have just transferred her to the Infectious Disease Clinic using our private insurance. You can't just let someone die like that—letting her CRP levels climb higher and higher for days without doing anything at all. They were even diluting the antibiotic in saline solution before giving it to her intravenously. It either didn't work, or maybe it wasn't even the right antibiotic, because her CRP shot up from 300 to 400 the very next day. At that point, she was only responding to heavy stimulation, and only then did they give her Medazol via IV. Her CRP dropped to 200 after that, but by then it was already too late because dropping from a 400 CRP straight into septic shock is just... it was over. They wouldn't even move her to intensive care.

Sent from my iPhone 13 using Reddit

I felt compelled to write my previous post because I’ve been looking over all of my mother's medical records, and honestly, the mistakes made during her treatment are just glaringly obvious. It seems like they either didn't know—or maybe they just didn't want to—provide her with the right therapy, even though the antibiogram results were sitting right there. Everything was clearly documented regarding which antibiotics would actually work against the Escherichia coli and Klebsiel bacteria. I know you guys mentioned I shouldn't bring up that specific hospital anymore, though I can't quite wrap my head around why it's being so heavily protected. I guess it's because one of the doctor-moderators actually works there. I was really just trying to follow up on my earlier point about septic shock. I mean, by what logic is a hospital in a place like Memphis allowed to be discussed, while another facility is completely off-limits? If it were a hospital worth praising, I suppose you wouldn't mind if it were mentioned at all.

Sent from my iPhone 13 using Reddit

mistyjackal842, you’ve mentioned which hospital it was several times already—you’re allowed to do that. But they’ve told you to stop looping like a broken record across different threads, and if you ask me, it’s for the exact reasons I pointed out to you in a previous discussion. We’re talking about a major medical center that draws massive crowds, and people are starting to develop a real sense of dread and resentment toward it. Every hospital has its issues, and when staff members mess up, they should be reported through the proper channels. It’s just not right to go after the mods; they’re actually doing their jobs correctly here.
I get why you're so bitter about what happened—it's totally understandable—but don't let that anger cloud your judgment. Unlike an online forum where you can say whatever you want, if this goes to a US court, your attitude could seriously tank your chances of getting the outcome you want.
Hang in there!