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Home › Society › Politics › Close to Politics › Calling all locals!

Calling all locals!

Started by Bryan Martin31 · · 👁 4 views · 26 replies

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Participants Bryan Martin31William Gonzalez3graniteowl88coppernomad59Douglas RiveraRoger Reed49Brian Moore67Arthur Martinez7
Bryan Martin31 Bryan Martin31 Active MemberOP
75 messages
joined Sep 2008
#1 ·
Hey everyone! Look, I’m clueless and out of the loop, but apparently, I just found out I’ve been living on church property this whole time!

And when the church actually decides they owe us something? There aren't any structures in place—flawed ones at that—to actually make it happen. It’s all just big shots in fancy suits making grand promises and swearing up and down that folks in Chicago don't want anything from them!

I guess I deserve it, though, for leaving behind that wonderful old homeland of hardworking, honest people in rural Nebraska. 😢
William Gonzalez3 William Gonzalez3 Regular
276 messages
joined May 2009
#2 ·
Fight for what’s yours, you little punk.
graniteowl88 graniteowl88 Regular
322 messages
joined Apr 2011
#3 ·
Bryan Martin31 said:Hey everyone! I am completely clueless and uninformed, but I just realized in this late hour that I have actually been living on sacred ground!

And I am miserable, thinking I at least had some little sanctuary... but no... it turns out I have just been living on public land all along.
graniteowl88 graniteowl88 Regular
322 messages
joined Apr 2011
#4 ·
John Doe said:Fight for what is yours, you idiot.

That falls under private property now. Besides, Bryan Martin31 isn't some opportunist. It goes against everything he stands for.
coppernomad59 coppernomad59 Active Member
58 messages
joined Jan 2008
#5 ·
graniteowl88 said:And here I am, feeling pretty pathetic, thinking I actually owned some little plot of land... turns out I've just been living on federal property this whole time.

😬 It’s true, though—it's all federal land that was seized from farmers and families back in 1945 when everything was being taken away. Now, you have certain people acting surprised about how they're living...😬
Douglas Rivera Douglas Rivera Member
41 messages
joined Oct 2007
#6 ·
coppernomad59 said:😬 So, we're talking about state-owned land that was basically snatched away from farmers and regular folks back in '45 when everything was being seized... and now you've got these entitled types complaining about their living situation... ridiculous...😬

Off-topic... have you ever actually had sex with anyone, besides pets or those neighborhood strays? And let's be clear—I'm not counting any "solo" sessions involving Mom's hand-me-down stuff...
Roger Reed49 Roger Reed49 Active Member
88 messages
joined Jan 2008
#7 ·
Bryan Martin31 said:Hey everyone! Look, I’m totally clueless and out of the loop here, but I just found out in the middle of all this chaos that I’ve basically been living on church property this whole time!

And let’s be real—once the church decides they want to claw something back... there aren't even any real structures in place to stop them, and honestly, most of those structures are crooked anyway. They’re all sitting there in their fancy silk suits making big promises, swearing up and down that people in Chicago don't even want this stuff!

I guess I deserved it, though, after ditching that precious old homeland full of those hardworking, honest folks from rural Nebraska. 😢

What the hell do you mean you haven't started the engine yet? Did the horses die or something?😕
Bryan Martin31 Bryan Martin31 Active MemberOP
75 messages
joined Sep 2008
#8 ·
Krvnik said:Fight for what's yours, you little punk.

Are you kidding me? Seriously? How does this even happen? What kind of absolute disaster are we looking at here?
In English? Seriously?
So, what? I'm just supposed to stand here and take it?

Do you even have any idea what kind of Catholic fundamentalists are living in North Jersey? Seriously, look at someone like John Doe... 😁
Bryan Martin31 Bryan Martin31 Active MemberOP
75 messages
joined Sep 2008
#9 ·
Bryan Martin31 said:And here I am, unlucky, thinking I actually owned a little plot of land... turns out I've just been living on government property this whole time.

Actually, no. Not government. Church property. But in this country, does it even matter? It's basically the same thing.

Did you hear about that woman just half a mile away? She’s fighting tooth and nail just to stop some church from building yet another sanctuary on a beautiful local playground. I think it's their 2,358th building in Chicago alone. She even got death threats a few months back... smells like corruption to me. Honestly, if there isn't some shadowy hand pulling the strings, I don't know what is.😬

So, what am I supposed to do? Stand on my porch and try to block these religious zealots myself? Maybe if more people actually gave a damn. But where am I in all this? I'm against this, and I'm against that too.

Is anyone else ready to stand up and tell the church to stay off our neighborhoods?
Bryan Martin31 Bryan Martin31 Active MemberOP
75 messages
joined Sep 2008
#10 ·
hehehoho said:Why on earth haven't you guys started the rally yet? Did all the horses drop dead or something?😕

Look, there’s basically zero actual news coming from this side of the fence. All we get are these endless stories about people with darker skin and jet-black hair...
But wait—TA-DAAAAM!—here comes Ludwig van Beethoven. A true connoisseur of heavy metal and extreme right-wing rallies! 🙏
William Gonzalez3 William Gonzalez3 Regular
276 messages
joined May 2009
#11 ·
soylent said:Wait, what?! How on earth—good grief!—could you even manage that?!
In Mexican?!
And with a hammer?!

I mean, do you actually have any idea what kind of Catholic fundamentalists live in suburban New Jersey?! Just look at someone like French... 😁

Through agitprop.

Propaganda.

Lies.

Maybe read some John Doe once in a while, then you might see how that stuff is actually produced.

You should probably call 24 Hours News Now and vent about all your existential crises.
Try to sensitize the public.
Go ahead and cry on Gloria.
Make threats in The New York Times.

Confess everything to My Secret.

Or just show up on Susan's talk show, where you can have another good sob session.
Actually, Fear Factor might be an option too.
The challenge: Soylent versus thirty priests trying to kick him out of his apartment.

If that doesn't sensitize the public and turn everyone against the priest, I don't know what will.
It’s all about the media campaign, man.

Why would I ever watch French?
I'm just not into that lifestyle...
Bryan Martin31 Bryan Martin31 Active MemberOP
75 messages
joined Sep 2008
#12 ·
John Doe said:
agitprop.[/I]



Tried it. Doesn't work. Playing Manson tapes, quoting the filthiest bits from the Communist Manifesto, sending nasty texts to some mega-celebrity socialite... nothing.

Quote:

John Doe says:

propaganda.

Pointless. Handed out archives of "hot takes" to kids coming home from Sunday school, but the kids still just want to go out and hook up. Honestly? It seems the establishment managed to scare them off instead.

Quote:

John Doe says:

lies.

Lies on top of lies? Not gonna happen, pal. I'm not some lowlife grifter.

Quote:

John Doe says:

Read some Time and you might actually see how it's done.

Call 24 Hours News and vent about your existential dread.
Play the victim for the public.
Cry on Hollywood.
Threaten people in Rolling Stone.

Wrote for almost all those outlets for the downtrodden masses in the USA. And still, nothing.

Quote:

John Doe says:


Show up on Sarah's talk show, where you can have a good cry too.

Are you insane? Have you seen the massive target she’s got on her back? She’s practically asking for it.

Quote:

John Doe says:

Or you could try Fear Factor.
The challenge: Bryan Martin31 versus thirty angry guys trying to kick him out of his apartment.


Good grief. This is just... well, maybe I can talk the crew into doing a couple of "beer runs"... then they'll give me another 28 years to pay off my mortgage... and you know how the Church views time... to them, it passes like a snack (it took them half a millennium to "free" Galileo, after all!), but for me, it might give me enough points to move to New Zealand... where people like me are treated like pure gold!

Quote:

John Doe says:
[COLOR="Navy"]
it's a media campaign, man.


So far, I've just been focusing on the graffiti—you know, the usual stuff like "churches into museums," "rainbow-loving liberals," "Hitler Youth—ora pro nobis!" and all that nonsense...😈

Got any ideas for a more effective approach?

Quentin:
John Doe says:
[I][COLOR=Navy]
why would I watch French?
I'm not into that lifestyle...
DAMN, BRO![/color][/color]
graniteowl88 graniteowl88 Regular
322 messages
joined Apr 2011
#13 ·
soylent said:Forget the government. It's the church! In America, they're basically the same thing.

I thought you were dealing with some massive issue involving thousands of dollars, just so I could buy up that land.
Brian Moore67 Brian Moore67 Active Member
241 messages
joined Apr 2007
#14 ·
soylent said:Hey everyone! Look, I’m totally clueless and haven't done my homework, but I just found out—out of nowhere—that I’ve actually been living on holy ground this whole time!

Ugh, the Middle East... Honestly, it starts right here at the local border crossing, and you really gotta move toward the West, toward actual civilization, instead of staying stuck in these backwater, rural nowhere-lands...
coppernomad59 coppernomad59 Active Member
58 messages
joined Jan 2008
#15 ·
Ahab said:Off-topic for a second... have you ever actually had sex with anyone besides pets or the neighborhood strays? (And let's not count any solo sessions involving your mom...)

😬 Look, staying off-topic here—have you ever actually been with a woman, or is it just you hanging out with the local crowd?
coppernomad59 coppernomad59 Active Member
58 messages
joined Jan 2008
#16 ·
UmpaUmpa said:Man, the Middle East... It starts right at the edge of the suburbs, but if people would just move toward actual civilization instead of staying stuck in those backwater, rural nowhere-lands...

But I guess you have to wonder—weren't those same "backwaters" standing on the front lines for centuries, protecting our core American identity and heritage? Now we're expected to just call them unrefined peasants? Well, some of them are, I suppose, even if they grew up in the slums near the interstate or those grim, concrete housing projects with the graffiti-covered hallways.
Bryan Martin31 Bryan Martin31 Active MemberOP
75 messages
joined Sep 2008
#17 ·
WeM said:they need it, whereas I thought you’d have a thousand other problems first, so maybe... I'll just buy up all that land

Not a thousand. Just one. And it’s a massive one. But it’s worth a thousand problems.
Where am I supposed to go? What am I meant to do with these two losers of mine? Should I call up a charity and ask them to take me off their hands?

Or!

Or should I reach out to a journalist to pitch a story? Something like, "How to stop the next crusade, or who will occupy the 24,687 new churches in downtown Chicago after the Catholic Church kicks all 300,000 John Does off their ancestral lands?"

And look at her—religious fanatics are actually threatening her life.
If her noble intentions don't pan out, do you have any ideas on how we can shut down the Church's territorial claims over sacred Chicago soil?

Look, for a decent fee, we’re even willing to hand over a huge chunk of land near the suburbs to you (assuming the local mayor doesn't remember it first...). But let's make the content fun and twisted. Let the youth break free from spiritual and physical restraints... honestly, what a modern-day Sodom. Brothels, casinos, condom factories, GOP satellite offices, a wellness center run by Vesna Skare or Djurdje Adlesic... let those fat cats at the cathedral eat themselves with envy. 😈
Arthur Martinez7 Arthur Martinez7 Active Member
202 messages
joined Dec 2005
#18 ·
Two kids? Well, I suppose you could just churn them out like a Soylent factory on an assembly line... 😁
Bryan Martin31 Bryan Martin31 Active MemberOP
75 messages
joined Sep 2008
#19 ·
UmpaUmpa said:Man, the Middle East... It starts at the border, then you move into real civilization, not those backwater sticks-in-the-mud towns out in the middle of nowhere.


I’ve been there. Left with a heavy heart. And honestly? Not even going to lie, I didn't miss it much... just glad to be away from that Ludwig van Beethoven. And to live somewhere where Pit Bulls don't grow on trees.
Bryan Martin31 Bryan Martin31 Active MemberOP
75 messages
joined Sep 2008
#20 ·
Whatever said:Two offspring? Sure, Bryan Martin31, you make it sound like you're just pumping them out on an assembly line... 😁

Just so we're being clear here, we're talking about an egg donor and the resulting product of fertilization.

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